The REAL truths about mid life crisis

[Dragan187 7]

for those of you 40 and older, just nod your heads. For you youngsters in your 20's, sit back and read the knowledge I pass on to you as I "pay it forward" in one of life's simple mysteries.

 

 

You meet some chick in life and decide, "Hey, she is the one for me" and you get married. You buy her an outrageously expensive ring while you settle for a simple wedding band. You put your money in joint bank accounts and watch her spend your money on stupid sh!t. It bothers you, but at the same time you want to "give her the world" cuz she's your wife. Eventually, she sh!ts out a couple kids. You spoil these bastards until their late teens. Christmas, Birthdays, and Vacations get more expensive every year. You drag your kids around to different little league games. You practice with them to help with their skills when in actuality...they focking suck. You dont tell them that they suck and just blame everything on their coaches. You never get to eat in the restaraunt of your choice. Your life is revolved around what everyone around you wants...not what you want. You give, give, give and they all take, take, take. When the wife finally decides to do something for you, your dumbazz gets a new lawn mower. Youre so wrapped up in giving everyone else what they want, you actually think that the mower is a cool gift. Not realizing if you bought your wife a new stove for her birthday, she wouldnt talk to you for a month.

 

So, the kids grow up and you get tired of your wife. You say, Fock it, I've provided for everyone for so long, I'm gonna do something nice for myself for a change. You dont ask permission like you've done for the past 20 years. You go buy a motorcycle or a vette at age 40+ and everyone thinks you are going through a midlife crisis, cuz those are "suppose to be" items that young people buy. Reality is this. You just dont give a fock anymore. No one appreciates you, so why bother? Its not a mid life crisis...its a mid life awakening. Everyone around you is shocked because you are finally doing something for yourself. Stick to your guns. Keep doing the things YOU want to do. You dont owe anyone an explanation. You are a grown azz man.

 

The only sad part about this is you always end up thinking......."Man, I shouldve done this sooner".

[RLLD 4,230]

Truth

[RLLD 4,230]

And....when a man does this, wimmen get scared as hell and start coming up with sh!t like...."oh, he is just insecure"....."oh, he is just being immature....."....wimmen love to start labeling and attacking anything that takes away from the placating of their every whim.....

[drobeski 3,061]

well said, even better get divorced and then you really dont have to give a fock what they think or say

[The Next Generation 10]

I think this hits the nail on the head as to why men do these things but can't it all be avoided? I mean, if they just stand their ground and do things that they enjoy throughout the marriage instead of succumbing to the will of the wife they could be happy, right? My wife and I enjoy our alone time with our friends. Granted, she gets more "friend" time than I do (mainly because the women like to do things like go to the movies together or go to dinner together). But, if I want to hang-out with the guys for a game or a Friday night at a bar to see a band for something, she's cool w/it. Give and take, right?

[RLLD 4,230]

I think this hits the nail on the head as to why men do these things but can't it all be avoided? I mean, if they just stand their ground and do things that they enjoy throughout the marriage instead of succumbing to the will of the wife they could be happy, right? My wife and I enjoy our alone time with our friends. Granted, she gets more "friend" time than I do (mainly because the women like to do things like go to the movies together or go to dinner together). But, if I want to hang-out with the guys for a game or a Friday night at a bar to see a band for something, she's cool w/it. Give and take, right?

 

I have no issue with give and take, except for the fact that wimmen seem to want to take more than give. Though I encourage her to go out with her friends when she wants to, its nice and quiet when she is out....

[The Next Generation 10]

I have no issue with give and take, except for the fact that wimmen seem to want to take more than give. Though I encourage her to go out with her friends when she wants to, its nice and quiet when she is out....

 

LOL..not so much for me since I have to watch the 2 boys in that case (2-1/2 and 9 mos). But, it keeps her happy and thus I am happy in the long run, so well worth it!

 

Fill disclosure, though, my wife is pretty cool when it comes to me doing whatever I want. When I proposed to her, I said, "Here's the deal, I have enough money for either a big screen TV or a ring. I'll get you a ring but it may take a few months" This was the summer of 2006, mid-June. She says without blinking an eye, "Football season is coming-up, get the big screen TV I can wait for a ring!"

[nikki2200 4]

Not all women are like that.

[RLLD 4,230]

Not all women believe they are like that.

 

Fixed......

[Frank M 181]

Fixed......

 

Where were you when the "what if your daughter was a pronstar thread" took a crazy turn after peenie and addict showed up? It could have been magical.

[Dragan187 7]

LOL..not so much for me since I have to watch the 2 boys in that case (2-1/2 and 9 mos). But, it keeps her happy and thus I am happy in the long run, so well worth it!

 

Fill disclosure, though, my wife is pretty cool when it comes to me doing whatever I want. When I proposed to her, I said, "Here's the deal, I have enough money for either a big screen TV or a ring. I'll get you a ring but it may take a few months" This was the summer of 2006, mid-June. She says without blinking an eye, "Football season is coming-up, get the big screen TV I can wait for a ring!"

 

 

 

 

Ah silly man........you still don't get it, do you? (still asking her for permission)

[crackattack 520]

Not all women are like that.

 

 

All women say this, every last one of you.

[nikki2200 4]

All women say this, every last one of you.

 

No really. I wasn't just talking about me either. I'm almost laid back to a fault in my relationships. If you want a mom, I'm not the girl for you. It's probably also because I work too and I want my partner to act like an adult. I'm too mentally drained to run someone else's life for them.

 

But I was really talking about my friends who are married. Their relationships are not like that. Maybe it's because I live in a city and people are a little different. But with my friends their relationships are all pretty much 50/50. And typically the guys go out more than the girls because the girls don't mind sitting at home drinking and talking and watching kids while they go out to see bands and stuff.

 

All the girls I know work too so maybe that has something to do with it. The marriage is more on equal ground and they have to split up the

work and decisions.

[MDC 7,427]

I feel bad for people who feel that way about their marriages.

 

About a month ago, wife and I had nothing to do on a Sunday and she encouraged me to buy PS3. I'd still been playing PS2 sometimes and she said it was time for an upgrade. I told her it was expensive and she said "You never buy yourself anything, just go ahead and get it." So we go to GameStop and I ended up buying PS3 and about 5 games. I told her, "If I buy this you know I'm going to the beer distributor and spending all afternoon playing video games?" She said "Go right ahead." I ended up drinking Coronas and playing Madden all afternoon, great Sunday.

 

You should be able to spend money, have alone time, and have a life outside your marriage. Unless you're complaining about having to ask or tell her what you're doing? I think that's just common courtesy.

[RLLD 4,230]

Where were you when the "what if your daughter was a pronstar thread" took a crazy turn after peenie and addict showed up? It could have been magical.

 

I missed out on that opportunity

 

Focking with peenie is very rewarding....

[nikki2200 4]

I feel bad for people who feel that way about their marriages.

 

About a month ago, wife and I had nothing to do on a Sunday and she encouraged me to buy PS3. I'd still been playing PS2 sometimes and she said it was time for an upgrade. I told her it was expensive and she said "You never buy yourself anything, just go ahead and get it." So we go to GameStop and I ended up buying PS3 and about 5 games. I told her, "If I buy this you know I'm going to the beer distributor and spending all afternoon playing video games?" She said "Go right ahead." I ended up drinking Coronas and playing Madden all afternoon, great Sunday.

 

You should be able to spend money, have alone time, and have a life outside your marriage. Unless you're complaining about having to ask or tell her what you're doing? I think that's just common courtesy.

 

Yea. All of my relationships have been like this. And all of my friends' seem to be. Why the fock would you care if your spouse wanted to do something for themselves? If you love them I would think that would make you happy that they were happy.

[Dragan187 7]

Yea. All of my relationships have been like this.

 

 

 

Isnt it weird you say that? Look in the mirror.

[nikki2200 4]

Isnt it weird you say that? Look in the mirror.

 

huh?

[The Next Generation 10]

Ah silly man........you still don't get it, do you? (still asking her for permission)

 

I don't see a winky emoticon, so I take it that you're serious. So....I don't think you get it. You find a woman like this, you marry her because it ain't getting any better than that! Plus, it wasn't asking permission. I was buying the TV, she knew that and she was cool with it. I repeat

[shovelheadt 71]

Why the fock would you care if your spouse wanted to do something for themselves?

 

Because most women are selfish, pretty simple really.

[OldMaid 2,130]

This is me, playing "My heart Bleeds for You" on the world's tiniest violin.

[ADD1CT36 1]

I fully endorse this whole thread.

Except the part about sh!tting kids.... You DO know they come out the other hole??

 

I'm selfish and therefore I am single. I haven't been ready to marry even though asked and now could support someone else on my income and I'd be fine with that. I feel everything in life is about trading off, it's basic economics. What is something worth to you? You make the choice at the time and you compromise when you want.

[TD Ryan2 316]

marriage was a great idea when they invented it 1,000 years ago.

People live too long now... "committed for life" was great when you'd only live to be forty... but now you both live to 80 and you're bound to want to kill eachother.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

"30 years today TD"

"you've worked here 30 years?"

"no stupid, I'm married 30 years today"

"ooops, how am I supposed to know you miserable old-fock. Congratulation anyway"

"Fock you and your congratulations, I'f I'd have shot her instead of marrying her, I'd be a free man today"

 

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

"Hey TD, I popped the question today. She said 'yes'.

"Good for you. Hope it all works out. Hey, lemme' ask ya', Would you join the priesthood or become a monk"?

"No, why"

"Of course you wouldn't. It's a pretty big committment... you give up your entire life. Don't fool yourself, marriage is every bit the same level of committment, except there's less alcohol and it has to be the most special of occasions before you can fock anyone in the ass"

 

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

[Dragan187 7]

huh?

 

 

When you say, Yeah all of my relationships have been like that" it means you've had several men in your life, who have moved on.

 

Why do you think that is? cuz we know its not your fault, right?

[nikki2200 4]

When you say, Yeah all of my relationships have been like that" it means you've had several men in your life, who have moved on.

 

Why do you think that is? cuz we know its not your fault, right?

 

Just because it didn't work out doesn't mean I was a controlling b1tch.

[IGotWorms 4,058]

I think that's a pretty negative outlook on marriage. Now I'm not even 30 yet so I know that you're going to say "wait and see buddy". But I'm still pretty sure that it doesn't have to be exactly like that. Yes having kids and getting tied down to a mortgage and so forth will impact your freedom to a pretty big extent. But I think you can still find a way to be your own man. Maybe you just backed down too early and too often?

[Dragan187 7]

I don't see a winky emoticon, so I take it that you're serious. So....I don't think you get it. You find a woman like this, you marry her because it ain't getting any better than that! Plus, it wasn't asking permission. I was buying the TV, she knew that and she was cool with it. I repeat

 

 

 

I could be way off, but here is how I read your initial response.

 

1. But, it keeps her happy and thus I am happy in the long run, so well worth it!

(You are telling me right off the bat that she has to be the happy one first, then you can be happy)

 

2."Here's the deal, I have enough money for either a big screen TV or a ring. I'll get you a ring but it may take a few months"

(if she said no way, Jose...what would you have done? I assuming you paid 2,000 for the TV which means the ring had to cost just as much, if not more.....cuz if it doesn't than you dont love her as much as you are suppose to, or some other bull crap story)

 

3. She says without blinking an eye, "Football season is coming-up, get the big screen TV I can wait for a ring!"

(How long did she have to wait? A year? My guess it was before the playoffs. That way, she gets a new tv and a new ring)

[OldMaid 2,130]

I think maybe we should feel sorry for YOUR WIFE in this situation...

 

You're a really bitter dude!

[Dragan187 7]

I think that's a pretty negative outlook on marriage. Now I'm not even 30 yet so I know that you're going to say "wait and see buddy". But I'm still pretty sure that it doesn't have to be exactly like that. Yes having kids and getting tied down to a mortgage and so forth will impact your freedom to a pretty big extent. But I think you can still find a way to be your own man. Maybe you just backed down too early and too often?

 

Our nation leads the world in divorce. No where in my post did I mention divorce. I am forewarning young men to take heed. Most guys get caught up in this sh!t and dont see it. You can read the knowledge i pass forward and become aware, or dismiss it as jibberish and keep walking. No matter to me.

[IGotWorms 4,058]

Our nation leads the world in divorce. No where in my post did I mention divorce. I am forewarning young men to take heed. Most guys get caught up in this sh!t and dont see it. You can read the knowledge i pass forward and become aware, or dismiss it as jibberish and keep walking. No matter to me.

 

Exactly the response I was anticipating. And maybe you're right. But maybe, just maybe, is there a possibility that you simply made some poor choices early in life and now you're bitter as a result? I don't think it's necessarily a given that each and every man who gets married and has kids is going to end up the exact same way.

[TD Ryan2 316]

I was very happy single.

I was very happy dating.

I was very happy engaged.

I was very happy married.

 

Then, Mrs. TD and I decided that we had done/seen enough, we had plenty of fun, and we were ready for the dog, house, kids.

For the next 20 (or so) years, we have both given up pretty much every ounce of free time.

This isn't just the man's sacrifice, it's the woman's too.

 

And after that 20 years, when our kids are perfecly well adjusted geniuses/pro-athletes, Mrs. TD and I will kick back, live like we did when we were dating, and laugh together all the way to the grave knowing that we kicked life's ass while the rest of you were

b!tching/crying/and complaining.

[Frank M 181]

I was very happy single.

I was very happy dating.

I was very happy engaged.

I was very happy married.

 

Then, Mrs. TD and I decided that we had done/seen enough, we had plenty of fun, and we were ready for the dog, house, kids.

For the next 20 (or so) years, we have both given up pretty much every ounce of free time.

This isn't just the man's sacrifice, it's the woman's too.

 

And after that 20 years, when our kids are perfecly well adjusted geniuses/pro-athletes, Mrs. TD and I will kick back, live like we did when we were dating, and laugh together all the way to the grave knowing that we kicked life's ass while the rest of you were

b!tching/crying/and complaining.

 

Well said.

 

[hdaddy 18]

Be a focking HONEY BADGER!!!!

[ADD1CT36 1]

I was very happy single.

I was very happy dating.

I was very happy engaged.

I was very happy married.

 

Then, Mrs. TD and I decided that we had done/seen enough, we had plenty of fun, and we were ready for the dog, house, kids.

For the next 20 (or so) years, we have both given up pretty much every ounce of free time.

This isn't just the man's sacrifice, it's the woman's too.

 

And after that 20 years, when our kids are perfecly well adjusted geniuses/pro-athletes, Mrs. TD and I will kick back, live like we did when we were dating, and laugh together all the way to the grave knowing that we kicked life's ass while the rest of you were

b!tching/crying/and complaining.

That is very nice. I wish everyone had that experience.

[The Next Generation 10]

I could be way off, but here is how I read your initial response.

 

1. But, it keeps her happy and thus I am happy in the long run, so well worth it!

(You are telling me right off the bat that she has to be the happy one first, then you can be happy)

 

2."Here's the deal, I have enough money for either a big screen TV or a ring. I'll get you a ring but it may take a few months"

(if she said no way, Jose...what would you have done? I assuming you paid 2,000 for the TV which means the ring had to cost just as much, if not more.....cuz if it doesn't than you dont love her as much as you are suppose to, or some other bull crap story)

 

3. She says without blinking an eye, "Football season is coming-up, get the big screen TV I can wait for a ring!"

(How long did she have to wait? A year? My guess it was before the playoffs. That way, she gets a new tv and a new ring)

 

Nope. You're way off. We don't have a perfect relationship by any means but when it comes to either one of us wanting to do something for ourselves (friends, purchases, etc...), we recognize the need for each of us to be happy and support each other in this respect. Now, having 2 small kids makes doing things for ourselves (our even together, just the 2 of us) less frequent but we still manage to find the time. It's a beautiful thing, really.

[TD Ryan2 316]

Well said.

thanks Frank.

I had an elderly neighbor that said something to me when Mrs. TD was pregnant with our first. It stuck with me, it was something along the lines of:

 

"The problem with parents today is that their kids 'get in the way' of all the other things they want to do. Don't they realize that THEIR KIDS should be what they want to do".

[The Next Generation 10]

thanks Frank.

I had an elderly neighbor that said something to me when Mrs. TD was pregnant with our first. It stuck with me, it was something along the lines of:

 

"The problem with parents today is that their kids 'get in the way' of all the other things they want to do. Don't they realize that THEIR KIDS should be what they want to do".

 

I agree that your kids should be priority #1, but you don't have to give up everything for them. Happy parents makes for happy kids. You need to take some time for yourselves as well or you'll end up like the OP.

 

The advise I give to new parents is: Don't give up your lives for your kids, incorporate your kids into your lives. <------within reason, of course

[Rusty Syringes 478]

Or you could be like me and wait until you're 37 when you get married and have kids, when you've got all that single life out of your system, and really enjoy spending your 40s doing sh!t you like to do - like going to football games, camping, vacation adventures - and get the double pleasure of seeing all these experiences, things you've already did over and over in the single life, through the kids' eyes. Plus, all those single years meant being able to save some money and move up the career ladder, thus making it so much more financially easier to have a family and do awesome things. And seeing as you're much more mature now than you were when you were dumb enough to get married and have kids in your 20s, you make sure you as well as your spouse establish the whole "I, You and We" thing so that no one feels like their missing out on something. And you're better parents because you've matured and experienced and learned more - and grown more patient - and that makes life that much better. Oh, and you don't get tired of the wife because she's not as clingy and demanding as an insecure woman in her 20s.

 

And by the time those kids get to be even more expensive, you're in an even better, more comfortable financial situation, so it's not as hard as it would be for someone in their 30s.

 

And by the time those kids move out of the house and establish their own lives and families, you'll be retirement age and ready for those grandkids to help you relive all those wonderful things in life you experienced with your own children.

 

You enjoy those golden years and die with a fat focking smile on your face.

 

So to all you people in your 20s I have this to say:

 

DON'T FOCKING GET MARRIED UNTIL YOU'RE 40, UNLIKE THE DUMBFUCKS NOW IN THEIR 40S WHO ARE BITTER, SELFISH ASSJAVELINES WHO ARE HAVING A MID-LIFE CRISIS!!!

 

[TD Ryan2 316]

I agree that your kids should be priority #1, but you don't have to give up everything for them. Happy parents makes for happy kids. You need to take some time for yourselves as well or you'll end up like the OP.

agreed.

But I don't dread soccer games, recitals, or even Barney Live!

My kids have a blast at these things and as Rusty mentioned above, it's great seeing all these things thru their eyes.

 

"Me time" is usually sometime around 9pm.... sometimes it's "We" time with the Mrs., sometimes it's "me time" to watch/do whatever I want. That goes along with an occasional night out with guys/old friends and an occasional date night (yes, with the Mrs.).

 

I work with a few guys that LOVE travel... any business trip, they're itching to go. I don't mind it occasionally, it reminds me how freakin' easy it would be to just get up and go to work everyday. But the sentiment on a trip is always the same for me:

 

Day 1 - wow. all I have to do is get up and go to work today, then I can do whatever I want. I can't believe there are retreads in the world that can't even do this. I'm going to have so much free time tonight after work this is gonna' be great.

 

Day 2 - work is pretty easy. I guess afterwards we'll go out to eat and have a few drinks again. I kinda' miss my wife/kids. I wonder what they did today. I wonder if TD jr. slept all night? I bet the dog is driving them crazy, I'm the only one he listens to.

 

Day 3 - work, happy hour, late night... ho-hum. This suxor. I'd rather be home with my family.

 

 

first day is always great, second day gets a bit boring/repetetive, third day I miss 'em crazy.

[The Next Generation 10]

agreed.

But I don't dread soccer games, recitals, or even Barney Live!

My kids have a blast at these things and as Rusty mentioned above, it's great seeing all these things thru their eyes.

 

"Me time" is usually sometime around 9pm.... sometimes it's "We" time with the Mrs., sometimes it's "me time" to watch/do whatever I want. That goes along with an occasional night out with guys/old friends and an occasional date night (yes, with the Mrs.).

 

I work with a few guys that LOVE travel... any business trip, they're itching to go. I don't mind it occasionally, it reminds me how freakin' easy it would be to just get up and go to work everyday. But the sentiment on a trip is always the same for me:

 

Day 1 - wow. all I have to do is get up and go to work today, then I can do whatever I want. I can't believe there are retreads in the world that can't even do this. I'm going to have so much free time tonight after work this is gonna' be great.

 

Day 2 - work is pretty easy. I guess afterwards we'll go out to eat and have a few drinks again. I kinda' miss my wife/kids. I wonder what they did today. I wonder if TD jr. slept all night? I bet the dog is driving them crazy, I'm the only one he listens to.

 

Day 3 - work, happy hour, late night... ho-hum. This suxor. I'd rather be home with my family.

 

 

first day is always great, second day gets a bit boring/repetetive, third day I miss 'em crazy.

 

Yup, agree 100%. Like Rusty, I got married later in life so maybe it's just easier for me. Didn't do the Barney thing, but Yo Gabba Gabba live was a BLAST!

 

ETA: I can't wait to go to my kids games...CAN'T F'N WAIT!