Out of China

[Strike 3,975]

Today was my kids' last day of school for the year. That meant finals time. My son is under a lot of pressure as he's right on the border of getting a sh*t-ton of homework or a manageable amount of homework for summer break. He needs a 90 on the final test he took today to escape the vacation homework mountain. We'll find out in two days if he did it or not.

 

His math test scores have been erratic all year, sometimes he does great sometime he falls on his face. Four tests ago, he scored a 74 and my wife went apeshit crazy on him screaming and berating him. She brings him to tears a lot. Then, three tests ago, he sunk even lower, to a 68, his mother's head exploded and even I myself, I was consigned that the battle was lost and I thought he was going to be doomed to the avalanche of Mt. Summer Homework. My wife took the low road as she is prone to do, took to mocking him, calling him "Mr. 60" all the focking time which I couldn't stand.

 

Since then though, he's rallied, he'd gotten a 94 two tests ago and this last test he got a 90. That 94 was the second highest in his class of 45 kids, the 68, 11th from the bottom. He's gotten out of the box and put him in range now such that another 90 on the final test, a third 90 in a row, gets him out of his jam.

 

So the test is in, he says he felt good about how he did on it. I'm really hoping he gets that 90, the kid need a break big time. Not being able to help my kids with their homework is a real pain in the ass over here. Doubly so since my wife's 'help' involves so much screaming, humiliation, and psychological abuse.

 

I heard what you'd said about finding someone to help him with homework, maybe we'll do that. He never ever gets done in a reasonable time, he's so easily distracted that it takes him three hours to do what everybody else can do in one.

 

Dude, your wife doesn't sound like a great person in this post. And I sure hope she was a Rhodes scholar if she's gonna act that way to her kids when they don't excel.

[titans&bucs&bearsohmy! 2,745]

 

Dude, your wife doesn't sound like a great person in this post. And I sure hope she was a Rhodes scholar if she's gonna act that way to her kids when they don't excel.

Its a cultural thing. They are all about shame as a motivating tool over there.

 

Is it pretty? No.

 

Does it get results? Yes. Looks like it worked for volty junior.

 

Ive seen parents and teachers berate kids to tears in front of the entire class. Makes me uncomfortable, but nothing I can do about it.

[titans&bucs&bearsohmy! 2,745]

You must hate dinnertime.

 

More rice Mr. Cumstoofast??

 

Thats hilarious.

 

But honestly, being Chinese and having been married for over a decade, its probably more like, would you hurry the fock up and bust it so I can sleep?

[Bier Meister 1,514]

late to the party, but also have had korean and mongolian bbq on the west coast for at least 3 decades. it is ok. i love all of the side dishes that come along with it though.

 

cliff clavin food facts about fondue: 4 types of savory- cheese; oil; broth (chinoise); and wine. for cheese you typically dip bread, vegetables, fruit, and sometimes meats such as sausages/brats. for the oil, broth, and wine you cook your meats in the hot liquid. broth and wine are season/flavored.

 

 

volty- good luck to junior.

[Voltaire 4,559]

 

Dude, your wife doesn't sound like a great person in this post. And I sure hope she was a Rhodes scholar if she's gonna act that way to her kids when they don't excel.

Alas her size zero body is just a memory now too, up to a four and now north of 100 lbs.

 

Her temper is the worst thing, it's been years since it's exploded at me but my kids (and when I say 'my kids' that means my son 80% of the time) feel the brunt of it. Always about either schoolwork. The other 20% is my eldest daughter half for school, half for bullying the younger two by not sharing the phone.

 

If I ever leave China, it'll be because of my son. He's the only reason I have ever entertained the thought of leaving. I'm set up good and should be locked in. I have an apartment and I make mortgage payments. My school is growing and everything is looking great right now. I'm, personally, well besides the food, happy as could be. My eldest daughter can handle the Chinese school load, the youngest hasn't started it yet and so is not battle tested.

 

My son had never gotten a 74 before so when he followed that up with a 68, the thought crept in my head "maybe he can't hang" and the Chinese grinder was going to chew him up earlier than I'd anticipated. Fortunatly it's not at the point yet when i have to weigh options, ideally we'll hold off on that another three years.

 

So, my two oldest are going into 5th and 4th grade, the youngest is still a year off from starting.

[tanatastic 2,061]

Dude, your wife doesn't sound like a great person in this post. And I sure hope she was a Rhodes scholar if she's gonna act that way to her kids when they don't excel.

1. Met an asian? That’s how they are.

 

2. She doesn’t need to be a scholar. It’s common for parents to want their kids to be better than they were. Although an asian is usually a scholar, but you get my point.

[SenatorRock 708]

You know, me and some of the other white guys were talking once.

 

Its pretty damn fun wandering Asia as a white guy NOW, decades after these countries became independent.

 

Can you imagine How off the chain sick it was to be the white sahib back in the day? Late 19th early 20th century?

 

Be an Englishman in India or Malaya or Burma, or a dozen other places. A Frenchman in Vietnam or Cambodia. An American in colonial Manila?

 

Must have been a damn nice life man. Hang out at the clubs. Have servants. Swimming in native nubiles.

 

Born too late.

 

North Korea 2020

[SenatorRock 708]

Palawan has been on my bucket list for a few years. I would love to spend a month or 3 island hopping, learning to dive and surf, hanging out in jungles. Making friends with the locals. Making sweet love with the pinays.

 

Keep us updated with your adventures there. The people, the beaches, places to go, places to avoid. Can sizes of all the cousins.

[penultimatestraw 473]

In Sac too. I'd have assumed every major US city pretty much.

Honolulu too, but the majority here is Asian.

[penultimatestraw 473]

There are a ton of Korean BBQ buffets around my area. You cant drive a block without seeing either Sushi, Poke or Korean BBQ.

 

ETA: what tan said.

But do you have bubble tea and mochi ice cream?

[Bier Meister 1,514]

But do you have bubble tea and mochi ice cream?

tons in SF. i can find it where i am, but all over the city.

[penultimatestraw 473]

Its a cultural thing. They are all about shame as a motivating tool over there.

 

Is it pretty? No.

 

Does it get results? Yes. Looks like it worked for volty junior.

 

Ive seen parents and teachers berate kids to tears in front of the entire class. Makes me uncomfortable, but nothing I can do about it.

It's like the opposite of snowflake parenting.

[Voltaire 4,559]

 

Dude, your wife doesn't sound like a great person in this post. And I sure hope she was a Rhodes scholar if she's gonna act that way to her kids when they don't excel.

My wife was good in school and got into a tier two Chinese University, Chongqing University where she got a BA in English.

 

I value brains in a woman because I wanted smart kids. So here was this hot chick who beat me at Chinese checkers and wanted children really bad. I was hooked easily. I'm now not so convinced she's as intelligent as I allowed myself to believe. The focking palm reading and numerology should have tipped me off but her looks and size zero body made it so I couldn't think clearly.

 

Ah, she's not stupid. She's close enough to me that it should be good enough.

[Hardcore troubadour 12,646]

My wife was good in school and got into a tier two Chinese University, Chongqing University where she got a BA in English.

 

I value brains in a woman because I wanted smart kids. So here was this hot chick who beat me at Chinese checkers and wanted children really bad. I was hooked easily. I'm now not so convinced she's as intelligent as I allowed myself to believe. The focking palm reading and numerology should have tipped me off but her looks and size zero body made it so I couldn't think clearly.

 

Ah, she's not stupid. She's close enough to me that it should be good enough.

You have to stop mentioning the size zero. Please.

[Voltaire 4,559]

You have to stop mentioning the size zero. Please.

OK. Thanks for pointing it out. I'll try to keep it in relevant posts.

[titans&bucs&bearsohmy! 2,745]

Palawan has been on my bucket list for a few years. I would love to spend a month or 3 island hopping, learning to dive and surf, hanging out in jungles. Making friends with the locals. Making sweet love with the pinays.

 

Keep us updated with your adventures there. The people, the beaches, places to go, places to avoid. Can sizes of all the cousins.

We may be going to Palawan in August. Going to Cebu after the wedding. Will have to see.

 

Man, so far the trip has been pretty dispiriting. Sitting at the wedding venue now. Its a hole. A hole with no air conditioning. Where I am expected to wear a suit for hours in late July in the tropics.

 

we stayed at her sisters house. Again no air con. Mattress like a slab of concrete.

 

So far Im doing well keeping my mouth shut and a smile on my face. This is not about you, its her thing, is my inner mantra. Hanging for fifty some odd days will be tough.

 

After seeing the arrangements, Im kind of regretting having my parents come.

[Voltaire 4,559]

We may be going to Palawan in August. Going to Cebu after the wedding. Will have to see.

 

Man, so far the trip has been pretty dispiriting. Sitting at the wedding venue now. Its a hole. A hole with no air conditioning. Where I am expected to wear a suit for hours in late July in the tropics.

 

we stayed at her sisters house. Again no air con. Mattress like a slab of concrete.

 

So far Im doing well keeping my mouth shut and a smile on my face. This is not about you, its her thing, is my inner mantra. Hanging for fifty some odd days will be tough.

 

After seeing the arrangements, Im kind of regretting having my parents come.

Uh oh, you're mental stability is going to be tested. You may want to splurge on an air conditioner now and let them keep it.

[titans&bucs&bearsohmy! 2,745]

Uh oh, you're mental stability is going to be tested. You may want to splurge on an air conditioner now and let them keep it.

Oh, Im already white knuckling to keep the complaining in.

 

She has suggested we move to a hotel for the duration of our stay. That would solve several problems. Air con. Shitty bed. And I hate being a houseguest.

 

I really am beginning to wish wed just gotten a focking fiancée visa and gone to Vegas.

 

Oh by the way. I get to sit through two full days of marriage and family counseling seminars. In a language I dont even speak.

 

I wrote Protestant on the marriage certificate. Its sort of true, as I was baptized and confirmed as one. Just trying to keep the focking peace (she knows the truth of course).

 

Thank god they have strong cheap beer here. Im gonna be drinking a lot for the next couple weeks.

[Voltaire 4,559]

Oh, Im already white knuckling to keep the complaining in.

 

She has suggested we move to a hotel for the duration of our stay. That would solve several problems. Air con. Shitty bed. And I hate being a houseguest.

 

I really am beginning to wish wed just gotten a focking fiancée visa and gone to Vegas.

 

Oh by the way. I get to sit through two full days of marriage and family counseling seminars. In a language I dont even speak.

 

I wrote Protestant on the marriage certificate. Its sort of true, as I was baptized and confirmed as one. Just trying to keep the focking peace (she knows the truth of course).

 

Thank god they have strong cheap beer here. Im gonna be drinking a lot for the next couple weeks.

This is trying. It sure sounds like an awful un-fun wedding. Like your summer vacation is going to be about as bad as my Spring Festival was this past Jan/Feb, which I'd not thought possible for you.

[Hardcore troubadour 12,646]

Oh, Im already white knuckling to keep the complaining in.

 

She has suggested we move to a hotel for the duration of our stay. That would solve several problems. Air con. Shitty bed. And I hate being a houseguest.

 

I really am beginning to wish wed just gotten a focking fiancée visa and gone to Vegas.

 

Oh by the way. I get to sit through two full days of marriage and family counseling seminars. In a language I dont even speak.

 

I wrote Protestant on the marriage certificate. Its sort of true, as I was baptized and confirmed as one. Just trying to keep the focking peace (she knows the truth of course).

 

Thank god they have strong cheap beer here. Im gonna be drinking a lot for the next couple weeks.

Go to the hotel man. You'll be in better spirits and it will show. If you don't you'll be miserable and it will show. It's hard to keep it in as you get older, even though you think you are.

[titans&bucs&bearsohmy! 2,745]

This is trying. It sure sounds like an awful un-fun wedding. Like your summer vacation is going to be about as bad as my Spring Festival was this past Jan/Feb, which I'd not thought possible for you.

Oh, thats not the half of it.

 

After all that, we get To go play with the us embassy to hopefully get her a tourist visa. Then go play with the chink embassy so I can get a tourist visa to get back into chinkistan. Among other beaucratic headaches.

[Voltaire 4,559]

You left China without a Z visa already in your passport?

 

We had no trouble getting my wife a US tourist visa but we'd been married seven years the first time she applied and had the school. Then no trouble again this year.... well the online visa application was a fokcing nightmare that took forever to fill out, but once things were done, it was again easily approved.

[Voltaire 4,559]

My son got an 88 on the Final math test. I get the feeling that won't cut it. My wife is going to lobby the teacher tomorrow.

[Bier Meister 1,514]

Go to the hotel man. You'll be in better spirits and it will show. If you don't you'll be miserable and it will show. It's hard to keep it in as you get older, even though you think you are.

 

completely agree.

 

My son got an 88 on the Final math test. I get the feeling that won't cut it. My wife is going to lobby the teacher tomorrow.

 

oh man. at least it is close enough to lobby for.

[jerryskids 5,206]

My son got an 88 on the Final math test. I get the feeling that won't cut it. My wife is going to lobby the teacher tomorrow.

 

Dang, I'm pulling for him.

[MTSkiBum 1,594]

Her temper is the worst thing, it's been years since it's exploded at me but my kids (and when I say 'my kids' that means my son 80% of the time) feel the brunt of it. Always about either schoolwork. The other 20% is my eldest daughter half for school, half for bullying the younger two by not sharing the phone.

 

Careful, even though my wife is a born and raised Texan her parents were Chinese. Nobody is close in their family, everyone has moved away and neither her nor her siblings call their parents regularly. She and her siblings resent their parents to this day. You should hear the way they talk about them behind their back when we do meet up over christmas, etc. Yeah, they are all engineers with good jobs, but still you can get those results without the berating.

 

I see how close my family is and it is not worth it.

[Bier Meister 1,514]

 

Careful, even though my wife is a born and raised Texan her parents were Chinese. Nobody is close in their family, everyone has moved away and neither her nor her siblings call their parents regularly. She and her siblings resent their parents to this day. You should hear the way they talk about them behind their back when we do meet up over christmas, etc. Yeah, they are all engineers with good jobs, but still you can get those results without the berating.

 

I see how close my family is and it is not worth it.

 

[Hardcore troubadour 12,646]

Lobbying to get the grade up. My the world has changed.

[jerryskids 5,206]

Lobbying to get the grade up. My the world has changed.

 

I've done it once in my life. My daughter was about to get a D in theater class, and it was due to a bunch of group projects where the other kids didn't do their part (it was theater, not physics, so most of the kids weren't rocket surgeons). I set up a meeting with the teacher, I'll call her Karen because that is her name. Karen is an extremely intimidating person and I figured my best approach was "honey vs. vinegar." I came armed with 4 examples of group phayle, and Karen had a rebuttal for all but one. Finally I said in what to me seemed like a pleading voice, "I can't let her get a D in this class, how can we fix it?" She acquiesced, my daughter did some individual work, and she got an A.

 

The funny part was that afterward Karen said to my daughter "oh my gawd your dad is the most intimidating person I've ever met!" I've heard that before but in other cases I was actually trying to be intimidating; this time I was intentionally being nice. I'm not big or anything, but apparently I have a gift (or curse) of boring through your head with my eyes. Probably why I've been successful in sales.

[titans&bucs&bearsohmy! 2,745]

You left China without a Z visa already in your passport?

 

We had no trouble getting my wife a US tourist visa but we'd been married seven years the first time she applied and had the school. Then no trouble again this year.... well the online visa application was a fokcing nightmare that took forever to fill out, but once things were done, it was again easily approved.

Didnt have time to wait the month or more for them to transfer my visa to my new employer.

 

They are trying to transfer my work permit while Im gone. If that works, Ill come back on a tourist or spousal visa, and do the residence permit when I get back.

 

If it doesnt work, will have to start a new visa from scratch.

[Strike 3,975]

 

I've done it once in my life. My daughter was about to get a D in theater class, and it was due to a bunch of group projects where the other kids didn't do their part (it was theater, not physics, so most of the kids weren't rocket surgeons). I set up a meeting with the teacher, I'll call her Karen because that is her name. Karen is an extremely intimidating person and I figured my best approach was "honey vs. vinegar." I came armed with 4 examples of group phayle, and Karen had a rebuttal for all but one. Finally I said in what to me seemed like a pleading voice, "I can't let her get a D in this class, how can we fix it?" She acquiesced, my daughter did some individual work, and she got an A.

 

The funny part was that afterward Karen said to my daughter "oh my gawd your dad is the most intimidating person I've ever met!" I've heard that before but in other cases I was actually trying to be intimidating; this time I was intentionally being nice. I'm not big or anything, but apparently I have a gift (or curse) of boring through your head with my eyes. Probably why I've been successful in sales.

 

How many times did you have to bang her?

[jerryskids 5,206]

 

How many times did you have to bang her?

 

Eww, she is fat and not attractive. I'm not THAT good of a father.

[fandandy 3,311]

 

Eww, she is fat and not attractive. I'm not THAT good of a father.

She's an actress. Just have her act skinny and hot.

[Voltaire 4,559]

Lobbying to get the grade up. My the world has changed.

I don't care about the grade going up or not. I want the homework associated with just barely missing the cuttoff to be dropped, otherwise it'll ruin his summer (or piss off the teacher at me when he doesn't do it and whatever repercussions that has for him next year).

[titans&bucs&bearsohmy! 2,745]

I don't care about the grade going up or not. I want the homework associated with just barely missing the cuttoff to be dropped, otherwise it'll ruin his summer (or piss off the teacher at me when he doesn't do it and whatever repercussions that has for him next year).

They got mad at me in zhengzhou my last year.

 

I refused to assign summer homework. My assistant said I had too. I told her, I wont be here next year. The new teacher doesnt want to walk it to a pile of useless homework to grade. And we both know the Chinese teachers have buried the poor kids. Leave em alone.

 

So she took it upon herself to go assign a bunch behind my back.

 

Then she got furious in class when I told the kids not to bother to do it, as I wont read it anyway.

 

Eventually we compromised. I assigned them to read some English books and watch some movies in English and write about them. Im sure they watched and read translations into Chinese anyway.

[mobb_deep 917]

Cuckhold