dcOne 2 Posted March 20, 2006 Chuck Norris has 2 speeds: Walk and Kill. When Chuck Norris jumps in a river, Chuck Norris doesn't get wet...The river gets Chuck Norrised. Chuck Norris can blow bubbles with beef jerky. Chuck Norris had his schlong removed so he could perform an even higher round house kick. Chuck Norris's tears cure cancer. Too bad he's never cried Chuck Norris doesn't read books he stares them down until he gets the information he wants. Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Chuck roundhouse kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month. The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain. Chuck Norris died 10 years ago......... the Grim Reaper just hasnt gotten the courage to tell him yet. Magic Johnson claimed to have slept with 10,000 women. Chuck Norris calls this a slow Tuesday. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
surferskin 30 Posted March 20, 2006 Chuck Norris gave cats nine lives so he could kill them more. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
GettnHuge 1 Posted March 20, 2006 chuck norris called this old news, as always, he is right. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Rusty Syringes 478 Posted March 20, 2006 Chuck Norris kicked a guy into tomorrow, thereby suddenly rendering himself old news. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
phillybear 364 Posted March 20, 2006 Chuck Norris is dead. I ought to know, since I killed him. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
turbo742003 0 Posted March 20, 2006 Chuck Norris landed on the moon, and shot JFK. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
George Carlin 1 Posted March 20, 2006 Chuck Norris kicked a guy into tomorrow, thereby suddenly rendering himself old news. Very nicely played. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
EMoney 0 Posted March 20, 2006 Chuck Norris delivered a roundhouse kick to the shark that jumped over him. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Vikings4ever 496 Posted March 20, 2006 www.chucknorrisfacts.com Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
TylerRoseFan 16 Posted March 20, 2006 www.chucknorrisfacts.com link? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
RicemanX 20 Posted March 20, 2006 Chuck Norris won the world series of poker holding a joker and an uno card. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
hoytdwow 202 Posted March 20, 2006 Chuck Norris sells exercise machines on tv Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Four More Beers 0 Posted March 20, 2006 Brokeback Mountain was based on Chuck Norris' diary. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
TylerRoseFan 16 Posted March 20, 2006 Chuck Norris > The Borg Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
shovelheadt 62 Posted March 20, 2006 Chuck Norris was in the Air Force. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Emoticon Only Poster Posted March 20, 2006 Chuck Norris won the world series of poker holding a joker and an uno card. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Steebo 0 Posted March 21, 2006 Chuck Norris posted some facts about himself on FFT not knowing that FFT had gone kaput for several months. Since he did not know that these facts were old news he got mad and posted profanity-laden topics about said facts on FFT. MikeFFT baned Chuck Norris. EOP has over 1,000 posts. Thats alot of emoticons. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Vikings4ever 496 Posted March 21, 2006 EOP has over 10,000 posts. Thats alot of emoticons. 1,000 posts. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Steebo 0 Posted March 21, 2006 1,000 posts. Yes, thats what I said. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Recliner Pilot 61 Posted March 21, 2006 GFIAFP p!sses himself, jumps under his bed, and starts sucking anything in sight anytime he flips the channel by a Chuck Norris movie. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites