The Unwritten Rules of Fantasy Football

[Fozzy4 0]

You know it's out there: that code we each adhere to because somewhere deep inside us, we know it's right. You can find it in almost any facet of life, but especially in those where groups of men band together to form a brotherhood, all of a like mind, a like purpose. Fantasy football is one such purpose, one such brotherhood. What, then, is its unwritten code? What standards do we, even unknowingly, hold each other to, and perhaps more importantly hold ourselves to?

 

Let what is unwritten be written now, by all of us. Let everyone know what you think fantasy football is supposed to be, what it is supposed to mean.

[hines86rules 0]

You know it's out there: that code we each adhere to because somewhere deep inside us, we know it's right. You can find it in almost any facet of life, but especially in those where groups of men band together to form a brotherhood, all of a like mind, a like purpose. Fantasy football is one such purpose, one such brotherhood. What, then, is its unwritten code? What standards do we, even unknowingly, hold each other to, and perhaps more importantly hold ourselves to?

 

Let what is unwritten be written now, by all of us. Let everyone know what you think fantasy football is supposed to be, what it is supposed to mean.

Hey Shakespeare, when $$ is involved, there is no unwritten code. I've had guys who have known each other for 20 years, motherfock each other for $500.

[phillybear 366]

1. During the draft, when the guy sitting next to you leaves to take a piss, quickly study his cheat sheets so you can figure out his upcoming strategy.

2. Must drink one alcoholic beverage every round during draft.

3. Cheat whenever you think you can get away with it. Hell, cheat even when you can't.

4. Offer garbage in trade offers for other teams star players.

5. After a loss to your opponent, seduce his wife for revenge. Or mother. Depends on who he is living with.

[mattb333 0]

1. During the draft, when the guy sitting next to you leaves to take a piss, quickly study his cheat sheets so you can figure out his upcoming strategy.

2. Must drink one alcoholic beverage every round during draft.

3. Cheat whenever you think you can get away with it. Hell, cheat even when you can't.

4. Offer garbage in trade offers for other teams star players.

5. After a loss to your opponent, seduce his wife for revenge. Or mother. Depends on who he is living with.

 

Those are not unwritten rules! They are written rules in our League Handout.

[KSB2424 3,148]

[yostevo 0]

This thread could use some more cowbell.

[KSB2424 3,148]

NEVAH! Bench Stephen Davis.

[Byars41 0]

- don't bring your wife/girlfriend to the draft

 

- don't start injured players

 

- don't be that guy that never posts on the message board or replies to e-mail...and don't play that "some of have real jobs and are busy" blah blah blah card.

[KSB2424 3,148]

Setting: 2 hours into the draft, 9th round.

Culprit: Drunk Newbie

 

"I'll take Reggie Wayne! He hasn't been taken...Right?.... Burp."

[Byars41 0]

Setting: 2 hours into the draft, 9th round.

Culprit: Drunk Newbie

 

"I'll take Reggie Wayne! He hasn't been taken...Right? Burp."

 

we "force" people to do a shot everytime they try to draft someone thats already taken.

[RicemanX 20]

- Never attempt to explain to your s/o the rules of fantasy football, she won't get it

 

- Homerism can only take you so far...

 

- Don't join a $$ ff league posted by someone on fft with less than 100 posts...or that one douche that steals money

 

- You NEVER EVER draft Jerry Porter, unless you are a tard.

 

- Have some kind of hope that Barry Sanders will make a comeback

[KSB2424 3,148]

And please, You do not have to give a freakin' 5 minute speech about why you are drafting every damn player, going through your thought process and reasoning.

 

Walk up, take a swallow of beer, slap the sticker on the board, give the person drafting behind you the finger, and then sit down.

[phillybear 366]

PENNINGTON!!!!!!

[Me_2006 14]

Never abandon your 0-4 team and let the rest of the league walk all over you keeping someone else out of the playoffs because they had to play someone with a pulse.

 

Never take more than 3 days to reply to a message/trade/etc without a legit excuse.

 

Don't be the waiver wire idiot.

 

Don't make stupid trades that fock over the rest of the league by allowing one team to monopolize the talent.

 

No complaining that "that dude got lucky." or that "that player won't ever have a week like that again, I got screwed."

 

That's just a few.

[GobbleDog 992]

If an owner accidentally drafts a player who happened to break his spine in a pre-season game the day before, everyone in the room should remain silent until the sticker is officially placed on the draft board. Then as the owner is walking back to his seat, everyone yell "Nice Pick Dumb Ass!!!".

[TD Ryan2 316]

1. Every league has a "league idiot". Every owner know who he is; every owner hopes they draft near him to take advantage of his mistakes. And, if your league does NOT have a "league idiot"... congratulations, you're the league idiot... they're all talking behind your back!

[GobbleDog 992]

And, if your league does NOT have a "league idiot"... congratulations, you're the league idiot and they're all talking behind your back!

 

[Bert 1,128]

PENNINGTON!!!!!!

 

 

McNair!!!!!!!

[RicemanX 20]

 

McNair!!!!!!!

Leinart in 2 years?!?!?

[KSB2424 3,148]

Don't be asking to look at my NFL depth chart or bye week schedule you focktard. Bring your own!!

[RicemanX 20]

Don't be asking to look at my NFL depth chart or bye week schedule you focktard. Bring your own!!

ANd no, MY nachos mean MY nachos, get your own!

[TD Ryan2 316]

2. during the draft, DO NOT discuss players that have not been drafted. Nobody wants or needs your insight (except the "league idiot"). Shut the F' up until it's your turn to call out a player's name.

[kilroy69 1,245]

This thread could use some more cowbell.

[Fozzy4 0]

LMAO. I love what you guys have done with the thread!

[jgcrawfish 232]

Walk up, take a swallow of beer, slap the sticker on the board, give the person drafting behind you the finger, and then sit down.

 

That's some damned good advice right there.

 

1. You must yell "reach" when Matt Jones is picked, regardless of where his is picked.

2. Laugh hysterically when somebody drafts a defense in the 7th or earlier. Same with a kicker before the 12th round.

3. Know the draft so well that you annouce what guys are picking before they actually make the picks.

4. When somebody asks you "Who has what?", "Who's available?" or "What do I still need on my roster?"...feed them total misinformation, always.

5. If your league employs heavy drinking, drink as little as possible until the 4th round, then start pounding them down. By the 6th round everybody else is basically approaching hammered stage and you're just getting your buzz on, and you're kicking their ass in the picks cause they're drunk focks.

6. It is absolutely imperative that EVERYONE start growling/barking if/when Mike Vick gets picked.

7. Never cease talking smack. Overstate every position on your roster to get people paranoid about their own roster. Things like, "Wow, nice WR pick there, he'd be my #4 WR but you're gonna have him as your #2, solid." Or "Damn, your QB threw for 3000 yrds and 16 TD's last year, mine did that by the 12th week".

8. If you happen to be the defending champion, be formal with your picks. Announce them properly, Tagliabue/Goodell style. "With the 4th pick of the 2nd round YOUR DEFENDING FOCKING CHAMPION takes blah-blah-blah". It's old to them after 2 rounds, but great fun for you the ENTIRE day.

[KSB2424 3,148]

For you cigarette smokers:

 

For the love of Gawd, don't go on a smoke break right before it is your turn to draft a player. If I had a nickel for everytime I had to go out on the back deck, flick a cig out of someone's mouth, and drag some poor scmuck by his ears inside to draft, I would be rich.

[FlaHawker 24]

Hey Shakespeare, when $$ is involved, there is no unwritten code. I've had guys who have known each other for 20 years, motherfock each other for $500.

Classy crowd you deal with...

[phillybear 366]

For you cigarette smokers:

 

For the love of Gawd, don't go on a smoke break right before it is your turn to draft a player. If I had a nickel for everytime I had to go out on the back deck, flick a cig out of someone's mouth, and drag some poor scmuck by his ears inside to draft, I would be rich.

 

The league should be considerate and allow all the smokers to puff away inside. It's just for a couple of hours. You'll live.

 

Otherwise, you schedule a 10 minute break at the end of every 3 rounds for the smokers to smoke a couple.

[HawgWild 0]

After every other pick in the first round say, "Oh, did you not see the latest injury report"?... Or any variation such as, "Well I'm sure that is just a knee sprain he suffered at practice today"... or "That should be a nice pick when he comes back after mid-season... Just a few oldies but goodies...

[GobbleDog 992]

8. If you happen to be the defending champion, be formal with your picks. Announce them properly, Tagliabue/Goodell style. "With the 4th pick of the 2nd round YOUR DEFENDING FOCKING CHAMPION takes blah-blah-blah". It's old to them after 2 rounds, but great fun for you the ENTIRE day.

 

League champ or not, I ALWAYS announce my picks this way!

[Dr. Octopus 0]

- don't bring your wife/girlfriend to the draft

 

That shouldn't be a problem for most of the posters here.

[RicemanX 20]

TJ Housyomama

[KSB2424 3,148]

What really burns my hide is when the stripper we hired to pass out appetizers and fetch beers during the draft doesn't put out afterwards.

[jgcrawfish 232]

What really burns my hide is when the stripper we hired to pass out appetizers and fetch beers during the draft doesn't put out afterwards.

 

Didn't know Duke Lacrosse players were into FF.

[duece2626 0]

Walk up, take a swallow of beer, slap the sticker on the board, give the person drafting behind you the finger, and then sit down.

[The_Mad_Cats 0]

TJ Housyomama

 

"Nice pick, Cow-ah!"