Question 1: Could you beat a grizzly bear in a fight with these weapons?

[tubby_mcgee 686]

If you got to choose just ONE GROUP of these weapons, and had to fight a grizzly bear to the death, what would you choose?

Group 1
Pepper Spray
Carpenters Knife (one of those things you load razor blades into)

Group 2
Metal Garbage Can Lid w/ handle
Aluminum Baseball Bat

Group 3
Wheel Barrow
Razor sharp dagger-style Knife with a 9" blade

Group 4
7' Oak Closet Rod that has been sharpened to a point
4 Billiard Balls

Group 5
A Single Shot 12 guage shotgun, loaded with a slug, but only has a 75% chance of firing

[TheNewGirl 1,031]

Group four.

[Yer mom 2]

Group four.

 

 

What she said

 

Id plunge that fokker through the heart

 

You can keep the balls

[30 Fat, Bald & Texan 5]

If you got to choose just ONE GROUP of these weapons, and had to fight a grizzly bear to the death, what would you choose?

 

Group 1

Pepper Spray

Carpenters Knife (one of those things you load razor blades into)

 

Group 2

Metal Garbage Can Lid w/ handle

Aluminum Baseball Bat

 

Group 3

Wheel Barrow

Razor sharp dagger-style Knife with a 9" blade

 

Group 4

7' Oak Closet Rod that has been sharpened to a point

4 Billiard Balls

 

Group 5

A Single Shot 12 guage shotgun, loaded with a slug, but only has a 75% of firing

excellent question

I would have to go with group 4 because I have a cannon and that bear wouldn't stand a chance after getting tagged with 4 billiard balls and a stab to throat with my trusty spear.

[porkbutt 861]

gimme the dagger. i'll kill any animal with that.

[Snuff 10]

Group 5, followed closely by Group 2.

I'll take the 75% chance on the shotgun, and/or I'd bang on that garbage can lid like there is no tomorrow. I heard they hate loud sounds. Plus the lid could act as a shield from his paws, while you go all Lancelot on his ass with the bat.

 

Also, how the fock did you come up with this? Slow day?

[LordOpie 0]

gimme the dagger. i'll kill any animal with that.

Can I team up with porkbutt?

 

I bet I could out run him

[tubby_mcgee 686]

The more I look at the question, Group 4 looks like the obvious choice.

 

What would be your last choice?

[Yer mom 2]

I heard they hate loud sounds.

 

 

You have to fight him to the death

[tubby_mcgee 686]

Also, how the fock did you come up with this?

 

I have a knack for it. I'm trying to turn it into a career. There's more coming. Perhaps "Question of the Day" could become a regular thing. Maybe Mike will hire me or sumthin.

[Yer mom 2]

The more I look at the question, Group 4 looks like the obvious choice.

 

What would be your last choice?

 

 

Group 5, if it dont fire your absolutely positively focked

[The Hood 9]

The more I look at the question, Group 4 looks like the obvious choice.

 

What would be your last choice?

Group 1

 

Pepper spray might just piss him off.

Don't think you could do much damage with a razor blade before the bear would smash you to the ground and start having dinner.

[Yer mom 2]

Group 1

 

Pepper spray might just piss him off.

Don't think you could do much damage with a razor blade before the bear would smash you to the ground and start having dinner.

 

 

While he temporarily loses vision, you could stab his eyes through his eyelids then jam the razor into his throat

[Snuff 10]

As far as group 4, good luck holding all that sh*t at the same time.

 

I still say give me the shotgun and the 75%. If it wouldn't work, I could still use it to beat him with.

[Snuff 10]

Also, wtf are you gonna do with a wheel barrow?

 

LOL

[30 Fat, Bald & Texan 5]

This thread is greta. I love how everyone has a "gameplan".

[Voice_Of_Reason 0]

I'd need a change of undies with any group. Also a good life insurance policy for the kids.

 

Give me Group 4. I'd ram the sharp him up his a@@ and break if off. Then go play pool with the 4 balls while he bled to death.

 

 

 

 

 

Also, I'd shat myslef

[Yer mom 2]

Also, wtf are you gonna do with a wheel barrow?

 

LOL

 

Call truce with your fingers crossed, offer him a fun ride then plunge the 9" dagger into the back of his head during said ride

[babycakes 0]

Call truce with your fingers crossed, offer him a fun ride then plunge the 9" dagger into the back of his head during said ride

 

[Snuff 10]

Lets be realistic here. I don't think any of us would do any good at all with such primitive weapons as mentioned. I don't care how good of a fighter or how good of shape you are in. We're talking about a focking grizzly bear here. The bear or you. Give me the 75% chance the shotgun works anyday over those other useless tools, that in essence, most of us wouldn't be able to use very well anyways against a grizzly bear. We'd be sh*tting oursleves, shaking, the whole nine yards. We'd be dead anyways. A 75% chance the gun works and you blow his head off is a better % than anything else listed imo.

[Sparkling Wiggles 0]

Group 5. If any of you think you can fight a grizzly bear with a knife or a spear, you're focking nuts. The bear is more agile than you, plus 13 focking feet tall. As soon as you're in range, you'll get your heart ripped out with one swipe.

[MrLJH 0]

I sense a riddle. There will be obvious answers for all of the above.

 

I'm googling "killin bears with pool balls and wheelbarrows"

[Fah-Q 0]

Bear wins 99% of the time against Groups 1 - 4; 25% of the time against Group 5.

 

I take Group 5

[Yer mom 2]

Group 5. If any of you think you can fight a grizzly bear with a knife or a spear, you're focking nuts. The bear is more agile than you, plus 13 focking feet tall. As soon as you're in range, you'll get your heart ripped out with one swipe.

 

 

I disagree. Your fighting to the death. If the gun doesnt fire your guaranteed dead since it will hardly act as a weapon anymore. A 7' sharp weapon gives you a chance if you have strength enough to drive it through his chest with some luck on your side. Plus, its the only guaranteed working weapon that gives you a chance at not letting him get within his zone of terror.

 

[Snuff 10]

I disagree. Your fighting to the death. If the gun doesnt fire your guaranteed dead since it will hardly act as a weapon anymore. A 7' sharp weapon gives you a chance if you have strength enough to drive it through his chest with some luck on your side. Plus, its the only guaranteed working weapon that gives you a chance at not letting him get within his zone of terror.

 

 

 

Until the bear swats at the rod with his big ass claw, breaks it in half, look at you, laughs, then eats you.

[Sparkling Wiggles 0]

Bear wins 99% of the time against Groups 1 - 4; 25% of the time against Group 5.

 

Actually prolly a little more than 25% against group 5. Even though you have a shotgun, you may not know how to use it or just hit the bear in the arm or something. I'd say 40% bear. Still way better odds than a friggin spear. I'm not saying it would be impossible to kill the bear with a spear or nice hunting knife....but anyone here wouldn't have a better than 10% shot of killing the bear.

[Yer mom 2]

Until the bear swats at the rod with his big ass claw, breaks it in half, look at you, laughs, then eats you.

 

 

If he has been practicing his wax on wax off technique with speed and accuracy, I start running

[Fah-Q 0]

Until the bear swats at the rod with his big ass claw, breaks it in half, look at you, laughs, then eats you.

 

Not to mention the fact that even if you ARE lucky enough to hit the grizzly in the heart with a spear, he isn't going to drop dead instantly. You're still getting focked up bad regardless.

[wiffleball 4,646]

None of that chit's as effective against bears as a trusty pic-a-nic basket!

 

 

Hey Boo-Boo!!

[wiffleball 4,646]

And uh, with regard to the shotgun:

 

Generally bear hunters WILL try to hit a charging bear in the shoulder to "break it down". A skull shot or a body shot probably wouldn't do diddly and he'd swat it & you away before you could get close enough to shoot him in the soft underside of the neck.

 

Though, shoving it up his arse and pulling the trigger would do nicely. But you'd sure feel silly if the gun didn't go off.

 

The bear'd be all "Hey! What do I look like - a Republican Politician?"

[phillybear 364]

I'd be sporting and offer a choice of weapons to the bear. Just before I killed it with my bare hands.

[Fah-Q 0]

If he has been practicing his wax on wax off technique with speed and accuracy, I start running

 

I'd just sweep the leg

[Snuff 10]

And uh, with regard to the shotgun:

 

Generally bear hunters WILL try to hit a charging bear in the shoulder to "break it down". A skull shot or a body shot probably wouldn't do diddly and he'd swat it & you away before you could get close enough to shoot him in the soft underside of the neck.

 

A skull shot "wouldn't do diddly"? Are you kidding me? Is your version of the grizzly bear wearing a bullet proof titanium helmet? At the very least you blind the focker, then you have your way with him. Not sexually either. Well, maybe for some of you freaks it would be....

[Fah-Q 0]

Is your version of the grizzly bear wearing a bullet proof titanium helmet?

 

 

General Consensus is those are the savviest of all grizzly bears.

 

you're screwed

[parrot 789]

Until the bear swats at the rod with his big ass claw, breaks it in half, look at you, laughs, then eats you.

Bear: "Thanks for the toothpick."

[Yer mom 2]

I'd be sporting and offer a choice of weapons to the bear. Just before I killed it with my bare hands.

 

Awfully kind of you to even the playing field

 

Phillybear>Grizzlybear

 

till he hits you with the wheel barrow

[jerryskids 5,209]

A skull shot "wouldn't do diddly"? Are you kidding me? Is your version of the grizzly bear wearing a bullet proof titanium helmet? At the very least you blind the focker, then you have your way with him. Not sexually either. Well, maybe for some of you freaks it would be....

It says the shotgun has a slug, not pellets, grasshoppa. I'm liking my odds with a 75% chance and hitting a skull shot over the other options. Presuming it fires and you hit him, even if you don't kill him you have a shot at beating him to death with the gun.

[wiffleball 4,646]

A skull shot "wouldn't do diddly"? Are you kidding me?

 

Shotguns and bears revisited for the forum:

Despite this popular belief shotguns are not in reality the number one defensive choice for dangerous Bear protection. Most will find very few dangerous big game guides worldwide backing up their customers with a 12 gauge. Just to recap - The twelve gauges convenience is a close-up, fast action, “alternative” for safeguarding rather than a primary firearm for Bear in any circumstances. The number one reason is it lacks muzzle velocity and retained velocity over distance to make consistent, more predictable stops. The shotgun represents sort of an all-purpose firearm that fires multiple projectiles chucking light loads shell crackers and flares to lobbing heavy slugs… Unlike the handgun… it will not always be at the all set with the exception of being carried on a tactical sling.

 

There are many shotgun followers who seem to look upon Bullet mass as lone basis for rating the killing potential of a given gun. I respectfully offer that other dynamics play an equally if not more fundamental function in shaping the comparative effectiveness. One example is velocity (not to mention the importance of placement, bullet construction and so on)... Since the indisputable laws of physics affirm that energy (the thumping force of the bullet) differs in proportion to the velocity squared - leaving it somewhat more purely… if you make the bullet go twice as fast you’ll hit four times as hard not just twice as hard.

 

A head shot to a charging

bear is tricky, take out the shoulder and it will roll and not be

able to charge. Bears have very thick frontal skull and the

brain sits low in the skull. If it is standing and close put a

bullet right up its nostril and you should hit the brain.

Keep in mind if you have a close call with an animal

that can rip you to pieces, the adrenaline will be pumping

and keeping cool calm and collected is not easy.

[tubby_mcgee 686]

Lets be realistic here. I don't think any of us would do any good at all with such primitive weapons as mentioned. I don't care how good of a fighter or how good of shape you are in. We're talking about a focking grizzly bear here. The bear or you. Give me the 75% chance the shotgun works anyday over those other useless tools, that in essence, most of us wouldn't be able to use very well anyways against a grizzly bear. We'd be sh*tting oursleves, shaking, the whole nine yards. We'd be dead anyways. A 75% chance the gun works and you blow his head off is a better % than anything else listed imo.

 

Come to think of it, I think you're right. The 75% chance with the shotgun is probably as good of a percentage of any.

[Sparkling Wiggles 0]

http://www.comforthouseannex.com/grizzlybear.html

 

I think I could take this grizzly bear with his own wheelbarrow.