Medical School message bored drama

[MedStudent 56]

So we have one chick in our class who asks question after question in our lectures. After almost 2 years of questions, questions, and more questions interrputing every lecture day after day, intra-classroom tension has reached it's boiling point. The increasing question frequency has been increasingly being matched by a collection of moans, grunts, and monkey noises (yes, I actively participate) during question-asking time. Obviously, this pent up anger between the people who ask questions in class and the other 98% of the class was bound to spill over somewhere. However, I must admit that I did not expect that this tension would explode on the student message board of our class server, which was only intended to be used for students to post questions, study guides, etc. for the benefit of other students.

 

While reading these posts, keep in mind that these writings reflect the thoughts of graduates from some of the finest universities in the world who are all currently in one of the finest medical schools in the world. Its a bit long but I'm really just putting this up here so it is saved somewhere for eternity.

 

Also keep in mind that this thread was directed at me and my group of medschool buddies that sit in the back rows. The Matt Kemp comment was specificaly directed at me as he is on my fantasy baseball team. I also never bothered to post anything. Feel free to offer any suggestions.

 

Note: Anonymous posts are listed as "Anonymous". If a person put his or her name on the post, it will be labled as "Name Given", except for the first post which was written by my arch nemisis "Question Girl"

 

---------------------------------------------

Thread title: please don't be so loud

 

 

Question Girl: It is so hard to focus on the lecture when everyone is giggling and talking through it. Come on, just one more week! If you don't want to pay attention to lecture, just don't come. Listen to the audio with the transcription and talk all you want if that is your learning style.

 

Anonymous: Get over yourself - We'll stop talking when you stop asking questions.

 

Anonymous: I don't like questions, but I think that talking during lecture is a bigger problem. Not only is it disrespectful to the other members of the class (as some people feel that asking questions is), it's disrespectful to the lecturer, who is trying very hard to give us a talk in a very short amount of time. The people in the back of the class aren't even trying anymore. Please try to stop talking.

 

Anonymous: Please don't generalize the back of the class as everyone who talks; most of us in the back actually aren't that disruptive.

 

Anonymous: Fine, i'll amend to "90% of the people who sit in the back, north side of the class". If its not you, I don't see why you're offended. Congratulations for doing what a normal, courteous person should be doing by not disrupting class.

 

Anonymous: actually, I think the correct statement should be, "50% of the people in the back are asleep, 25% listen, and 25% disruptive" =)

 

Anonymous: touche

 

Anonymous: How do you know what goes on in the back of the class if you don't sit there? How about 90% of the front of the class is self-righteous and annoying?

 

Anonymous: There has been a claim that not everyone who sits in the back of the class is disruptive. A reasonable assumption is that some of these non-disruptive "back of class" people don't like the noise any more than those evil "front of class, self-righteous, annoying" people. I'm one of those people. I like the people in the back, and I appreciate the occasional joke or quiet comment during class. Everyone in the class, front and back, engages in the odd whisper. However, there's just too much talking. People aren't just making single comments anymore. We've degenerated to the level that complete conversations about parties on the weekend, or Kemp's home run, or whatever, are going on. I think it has to stop. Tossing out all this garbage about "front of class" and "back of class", do you really think that talking so much is acceptable? You shouldn't disrupt class just because you feel other people are doing the same thing in a more annoying way. All that happens then is that we get slow (thanks to people in the front), noisy (thanks to people in the back), crappy lectures. Think about your peers, if not the professors.

 

Anonymous: I love you, Anonymous.

 

Anonymous: I think there is heightened stress as we are trying to prepare for a final that is retesting some of the material from block 6A. In addition, beaucoup material is being compacted into 50-minute segments. Do lecturers ever get to finish anymore? This could explain some of the tension some of us are feeling on this thread. However, there are some unresolved topics that could be addressed by our class president or MEC. What would be the most courteous and effective way to conduct lectures in our new curriculum? It is becoming increasingly apparent that questions impede lecturers from finishing. Some of the questions may be perceived as so off-topic, that people tune out and begin to have side conversations as a way of saying, "I already have enough to think about." (I'm not speaking for myself but I can empathize.)

 

Name Given: There definitely seems to be a lot of tension about what people perceive to be excessive noise and questions during lecture. As a short-term solution, maybe we could ALL make an effort to limit both noise and questions (that go beyond just clarifying concepts) for these last few days, so lecturers can get through their lectures unimpeded. In the mean time, I promise to try to figure out a way that we can resolve this problem in the long term. Until then, though, in the words of a great Angelino: "Can't we all just get along?"

 

Anonymous: To the person who responded at 5:37, I agree that the questions are out of hand, but it is immature and inappropriate for you to hide behind anonymity to launch a personal attack. It's called common courtesy. If you want others to show you courtesy by not asking their questions in lecture, please consider acting in kind.

 

Anonymous: To the person who responded at 11:18, Since you're so against anonymity, why don't you put your name down, and I'll meet you on the playground after class for a throwdown...

 

Anonymous: LOD [Letter of Distinction] for replier.

 

Anonymous: Ha , Ha. that's funnier than the girl trying to leave our lecture hall through the closet door last year!

 

Name Given: Can we QUIT doing the Anonymous thing!? It is really sad to see how we feel the freedom to start bashing each other under the mask of anonymity. You know that once your mouse button reaches to switch the Author from Joe Schmoe to Anonymous that your comment might be shameful and offensive. Please reconsider NOT posting if the comment is not designed to be constructive.

 

Name Given: [Original post too long, his summary line given] So in summary, noise- bad. Hate- bad. Questions- mostly bad.

 

Name Given: Questions that take the lecturer 2-4 minutes to answer (as one did this week) disrupt the flow of the lecture, regradless of whether they are "so off topic" or "simply to clarify." People should consider asking questions after lecture, or ask only ONE question per lecture.

[Recliner Pilot 61]

While reading these posts, keep in mind that these writings reflect the thoughts of graduates from some of the finest universities in the world who are all currently in one of the finest medical schools in the world.

 

This made me lol.

 

If someone with your intellect is able to get into one of the finest med schools in the world we are all doomed.

[FlaHawker 24]

You're all a bunch of tards. This country is focked.

[Drizzay 720]

Does she always ask questions she knows the answer to? Those people suck.

[itsbigmoni 1]

Does she always ask questions she knows the answer to? Those people suck.

 

These are the worst by far, they frame their question so its not really even a question. They just try to show off how well they understand it. Those are the type of people who think they're the smartest in class. I love accidentally showing my test scores to them or if the teacher is handing back tests and he directs a "wow, really good score" at me. Their face at that moment is priceless.

[Recliner Pilot 61]

I really liked this one:

 

Anonymous: Hey Billy, Jimmy wants to know if you will pass a note to Sarah and tell her he likes her and wants to go steady.

[IGotWorms 4,058]

What school do you go to? I want to make sure I never put my life in the hands of one of your classmates.

[dave32 14]

Reply with something along the lines of, "Hey, did you guys hear about Kemp?"

[Recliner Pilot 61]

What school do you go to? I want to make sure I never put my life in the hands of one of your classmates.

 

Medstoopid and his classmates are gonna be Obamacare's "Death Panel".

[Gepetto 1,368]

Kemp hasn't hit a home run since April 21st.

[davebg 0]

I love accidentally showing my test scores to them or if the teacher is handing back tests and he directs a "wow, really good score" at me. Their face at that moment is priceless.

I'm guessing you do this between announcing Blue Light Specials.

[MedStudent 56]

Kemp hasn't hit a home run since April 21st.

 

No Shiit! My fantasy team started out on fire with him and nelson cruz leading the way but I have now lost three weeks in a row. what happened to Kemp's speed? He keeps getting caught stealing.

[MedStudent 56]

I think i'll just keep quiet in the class until question girl opens her mouth.

As the final classroom lectures of my life begin to wind down, I decided to draw a map of the classroom and describe the features of a genuine medical school lecture hall for all you future doctors. The only sad part of my lecture days winding down is that I'll probably be posting less on here after my rotations start near the end of June. But who knows, maybe I can still find some time between rectal exams.

Click here for the detailed map with numbers described below:

 

https://www.dropbox.com/s/ban7114oganfklj/2014-02-10%2009.43.02.jpg

 

 

 

 

 

1: Entry/Exit door – symbolic of the wretched decay of the building that houses the lecture hall, this door came with a built in creak that can be heard up until at least twenty minutes have passed in the first lecture, as people file in late or check out (very) early. Also, this door can be so difficult to push open, people unfamiliar with this terrain often fall into the trap of thinking that location 2, and not this location, is the actual door. Extreme unintentional comedy ensues.
2: Lecture storage closet – created to store the vast array of tools and supplies necessary to maintain a room with…umm…a bunch of chairs, this door also serves as a place for people to enter when desiring to make out with that special someone during class, and/or when desiring to make a complete and utter ass out of oneself .
3: Computer Zone - Do you like to click incessantly on your computer, furiously transcribing every single word that comes out of the lecturers mouth and thoroughly annoying the crap out of everyone in the entire class? Do you not mind that lecturers publicly ridicule you for trying to write down every word of what they say, as even they recognize that half of what they are saying isn’t of the slightest bit of importance? If you answered yes to either one of these questions, then you belong here.
4: Computer Zone, Stinky Province - If you answered “yes” to both questions from location 3, and you also enjoy spending time in lecture eating the slimy, smelly crap you call a lunch, then you belong here. And congrats, your new name is Mrs. Stinky.
5: Welcome to Little Utah, home of aging Mormons who like to berate and shush at anyone and anything that makes a peep of noise during lecture. You’d think the satisfaction of knowing that the rest of us are going to be spending eternity burning in hell would be enough, but you’d be wrong.
6: The Jew Crew – this region consists of four Jews, two Indians, and the feistiest African-American girl you’ll ever meet.
7: Slackers Heaven - completely devoid of gunners (people who try so damn hard it pisses everyone off). Well, there is one nose-picking gunner who has infiltrated this section, but that’s another story. On any given day you’re likely to find an all-star lineup of people who can sleep through just about anything. Somebody give these guys a medal already.
8: Coolest Kids In School - where the coolest kids in class sit, where the best impromptu verbal smack-downs originate from, and where the best cat-calls can be heard from when any hot first year comes in to make an announcement. This is also where yours truly composes some of the best posts in fftoday history.
9: The Cursed Seat of Mr. Stinky. After his daily jog to class, Mr. Stinky, utterly drenched in sweat and dripping his salty bodily juices all over the seat cushion and desk, sits down here to enjoy lecture and make everyone around him uncomfortable and queasy. Not all is lost, however, because by observing the color change of his shirt (dark to light) as a result of the gallons of sweat evaporating into the musty lecture hall air, one can infer how much longer lecture will be going on.
10: Authentic Trail of Sweat - This is the trail of sweat that Mr. Stinky leaves behind each and every day on his way to and from his seat (see location 9). The beads of sweat gracing the floor are actually visible on warm days.
11: The Enchanted Forest – Named in honor of the female often found in this spot who received this name after the discovery that, at the age of 23 and currently studying medicine, she has not yet had a gynecologic exam and does not know what a speculum is. In other words, there are unconfirmed reports of undocumented species, exotic foliage, and even belligerent leprechauns roaming around in that forest. If you answer “yes” to any of the following questions, then perhaps you belong here, too. Do you ever find yourself raising your hand in class wanting to say something funny, only to find that no one else thinks what you are saying is even remotely funny? Do you ever find yourself raising your hand in class out of sheer indignation over something you found to be sexist, even when no one else in a ridiculously PC class read even a glimpse of sexism into the statement, thereby making a fool of yourself? Do you like sending dumb emails to the class list? Do you think people are following you? Does your name rhyme with “farta”? Welcome to your seat.
12: Seat reserved for boy geniuses.
13: Medical School Frat – where fart jokes, excessive wise-ass-ness, and blatant attempts to call attention to yourself pretending to fall asleep in the middle of lecture to show everyone that you are cool reside.
14: The Noah’s Bagels Crew – there is a saying that the only thing you can count on is death and taxes. I’d like to propose a third thing: Five minutes into lecture, I guarantee you that the door will open and the same three people will enter the lecture hall, noisily bumping there ways into the seats their devoted friend reserved from them while carrying massive bags from Noah’s Bagels. They will all proceed to eat bagel after bagel after bagel, fumbling while trying to spread their cream cheese and take notes at the same time. Apparently they didn’t get the memo that if you’re going to do that every day, you damn well better get enough for everyone. Asshats.
15: The Dreaded Front Row – don’t even think about taking a seat away from someone who has been sitting there for more than a year. These people are as protective of their seats as they are of whatever shred of dignity they have left.
16: Trusty and pointless table placed conveniently in front of the projector screen – where people put their audio recorders to tape lectures. The only thing worse than living through 97% of the lectures I heard over the course of two years of medical school is listening to them again. Which is apparently what a select few people do – listen to lectures over and over and over again. Maybe they have this crazy master plan to listen to two years worth of lectures straight while watching The Wizard of Oz, baked out of their minds and hoping to find the meaning of life. Maybe not. Either way, they’re a$$holes.
17: The Black Hole Vortex of Doom – also known as the location where Question Girl can be found most of the time. In this vortex, all concept of space, time, logic, intelligence, respect for time constraints on lecturers, ability to think more than one step ahead, and sheer decency are lost, ferociously devoured by the evil and disfigured creature that rules over this cruel dominion. Her two year reign of terror is almost over, but I still cannot understand how one person can ignore the pleas of just about every single person in our class and ask so many off-topic, disruptive, and irritating questions without any violent repercussions. There are rumors that those who plunge through this vortex are instantly crushed by a gravitational anomaly, but I’m pretty it’s just her a$$.
18: Mature Interest Group – requirements for entry into this section include having a spouse and/or children, an interest in constant intellectual discourse on complex metaphysical topics, a taste for fine wine, and a general haughty nature.
19: Oh the humanity! Shield your eyes from the horrors that sit in these seats. Unless you find yourself attracted to women who sound like Betty Boop but look more like Betty’s deformed aunt, Mertyl, or to pretentious men with curiously large and attractive breasts. In which case, approach with caution.
20: Anonymous Asian Female Section – do you ever feel like you blend into a crowd? That you’ve spent two years with the same group of people, but they either don’t know your name or consistently use the name of the person sitting next to you when addressing you? Then you and your Hello Kitty notepad belong here.
21: My artistic rendition of the hideous medical-related artwork plastered to the wall. Seriously, there are enough actual things about medicine that make me want to throw up, so these artistic depictions are really unnecessary. Furthermore, staring at said artwork for more than one year has still left me absolutely clueless as to what is actually being depicted.
22: Block Chairs Only – if you’re sitting here, that means you’ve truly made it as an academician, doctor, and medical scholar. You have masterfully choreographed a stunning array of stimulating and insightful lectures geared towards educating and enlightening medical students and giving them enou - hey…where are you going? Class isn’t ov - hey!
23: Track Marks – created over time by lecturers as they propel themselves out of the lecture hall with speeds not seen since the time I tried (but failed) to run away from the Creature of the Enchanted Forest at a medical school party last year. They are usually futile in their attempts to escape the hordes of medical students who flock to them at the end of class, and said lecturers must then field generally pointless questions for the next 30 to 45 minutes. I’d suggest getting better shoes or making clearer lectures to remedy this situation, but realistically that would not change anything because these freak medical students are more ferocious than those tigers on the Discovery channel when it comes to ###### like this.
24: Lecturer’s podium and microphone equipment station – ever wonder where they came up with that noise for when the teacher talks in Peanuts? The magic happened here first. It’s amazing what happens when you combine the monotonous ramblings of an introverted pathology professor with publicly-funded audio-visual equipment that dates back to the discovery of cheese.
25: Exit, stage left – the mysterious abyss that block chairs run through when they just don’t want to be here anymore (see location 22). Surely, they are just so horrified by the classroom torture that they have spawned that they can no longer sit through it for another second.

[Riddlen 1]

I think i'll just keep quiet in the class until question girl opens her mouth.

 

As the final classroom lectures of my life begin to wind down, I decided to draw a map of the classroom and describe the features of a genuine medical school lecture hall for all you future doctors. The only sad part of my lecture days winding down is that I'll probably be posting less on here after my rotations start near the end of June. But who knows, maybe I can still find some time between rectal exams.

 

Click here for the detailed map with numbers described below:

 

1: Entry/Exit door – symbolic of the wretched decay of the building that houses the lecture hall, this door came with a built in creak that can be heard up until at least twenty minutes have passed in the first lecture, as people file in late or check out (very) early. Also, this door can be so difficult to push open, people unfamiliar with this terrain often fall into the trap of thinking that location 2, and not this location, is the actual door. Extreme unintentional comedy ensues.

2: Lecture storage closet – created to store the vast array of tools and supplies necessary to maintain a room with…umm…a bunch of chairs, this door also serves as a place for people to enter when desiring to make out with that special someone during class, and/or when desiring to make a complete and utter ass out of oneself .

3: Computer Zone - Do you like to click incessantly on your computer, furiously transcribing every single word that comes out of the lecturers mouth and thoroughly annoying the crap out of everyone in the entire class? Do you not mind that lecturers publicly ridicule you for trying to write down every word of what they say, as even they recognize that half of what they are saying isn’t of the slightest bit of importance? If you answered yes to either one of these questions, then you belong here.

4: Computer Zone, Stinky Province - If you answered “yes” to both questions from location 3, and you also enjoy spending time in lecture eating the slimy, smelly crap you call a lunch, then you belong here. And congrats, your new name is Mrs. Stinky.

5: Welcome to Little Utah, home of aging Mormons who like to berate and shush at anyone and anything that makes a peep of noise during lecture. You’d think the satisfaction of knowing that the rest of us are going to be spending eternity burning in hell would be enough, but you’d be wrong.

6: The Jew Crew – this region consists of four Jews, two Indians, and the feistiest African-American girl you’ll ever meet.

7: Slackers Heaven - completely devoid of gunners (people who try so damn hard it pisses everyone off). Well, there is one nose-picking gunner who has infiltrated this section, but that’s another story. On any given day you’re likely to find an all-star lineup of people who can sleep through just about anything. Somebody give these guys a medal already.

8: Coolest Kids In School - where the coolest kids in class sit, where the best impromptu verbal smack-downs originate from, and where the best cat-calls can be heard from when any hot first year comes in to make an announcement. This is also where yours truly composes some of the best posts in fftoday history.

9: The Cursed Seat of Mr. Stinky. After his daily jog to class, Mr. Stinky, utterly drenched in sweat and dripping his salty bodily juices all over the seat cushion and desk, sits down here to enjoy lecture and make everyone around him uncomfortable and queasy. Not all is lost, however, because by observing the color change of his shirt (dark to light) as a result of the gallons of sweat evaporating into the musty lecture hall air, one can infer how much longer lecture will be going on.

10: Authentic Trail of Sweat - This is the trail of sweat that Mr. Stinky leaves behind each and every day on his way to and from his seat (see location 9). The beads of sweat gracing the floor are actually visible on warm days.

11: The Enchanted Forest – Named in honor of the female often found in this spot who received this name after the discovery that, at the age of 23 and currently studying medicine, she has not yet had a gynecologic exam and does not know what a speculum is. In other words, there are unconfirmed reports of undocumented species, exotic foliage, and even belligerent leprechauns roaming around in that forest. If you answer “yes” to any of the following questions, then perhaps you belong here, too. Do you ever find yourself raising your hand in class wanting to say something funny, only to find that no one else thinks what you are saying is even remotely funny? Do you ever find yourself raising your hand in class out of sheer indignation over something you found to be sexist, even when no one else in a ridiculously PC class read even a glimpse of sexism into the statement, thereby making a fool of yourself? Do you like sending dumb emails to the class list? Do you think people are following you? Does your name rhyme with “farta”? Welcome to your seat.

12: Seat reserved for boy geniuses.

13: Medical School Frat – where fart jokes, excessive wise-ass-ness, and blatant attempts to call attention to yourself pretending to fall asleep in the middle of lecture to show everyone that you are cool reside.

14: The Noah’s Bagels Crew – there is a saying that the only thing you can count on is death and taxes. I’d like to propose a third thing: Five minutes into lecture, I guarantee you that the door will open and the same three people will enter the lecture hall, noisily bumping there ways into the seats their devoted friend reserved from them while carrying massive bags from Noah’s Bagels. They will all proceed to eat bagel after bagel after bagel, fumbling while trying to spread their cream cheese and take notes at the same time. Apparently they didn’t get the memo that if you’re going to do that every day, you damn well better get enough for everyone. Asshats.

15: The Dreaded Front Row – don’t even think about taking a seat away from someone who has been sitting there for more than a year. These people are as protective of their seats as they are of whatever shred of dignity they have left.

16: Trusty and pointless table placed conveniently in front of the projector screen – where people put their audio recorders to tape lectures. The only thing worse than living through 97% of the lectures I heard over the course of two years of medical school is listening to them again. Which is apparently what a select few people do – listen to lectures over and over and over again. Maybe they have this crazy master plan to listen to two years worth of lectures straight while watching The Wizard of Oz, baked out of their minds and hoping to find the meaning of life. Maybe not. Either way, they’re a$$holes.

17: The Black Hole Vortex of Doom – also known as the location where Question Girl can be found most of the time. In this vortex, all concept of space, time, logic, intelligence, respect for time constraints on lecturers, ability to think more than one step ahead, and sheer decency are lost, ferociously devoured by the evil and disfigured creature that rules over this cruel dominion. Her two year reign of terror is almost over, but I still cannot understand how one person can ignore the pleas of just about every single person in our class and ask so many off-topic, disruptive, and irritating questions without any violent repercussions. There are rumors that those who plunge through this vortex are instantly crushed by a gravitational anomaly, but I’m pretty it’s just her a$$.

18: Mature Interest Group – requirements for entry into this section include having a spouse and/or children, an interest in constant intellectual discourse on complex metaphysical topics, a taste for fine wine, and a general haughty nature.

19: Oh the humanity! Shield your eyes from the horrors that sit in these seats. Unless you find yourself attracted to women who sound like Betty Boop but look more like Betty’s deformed aunt, Mertyl, or to pretentious men with curiously large and attractive breasts. In which case, approach with caution.

20: Anonymous Asian Female Section – do you ever feel like you blend into a crowd? That you’ve spent two years with the same group of people, but they either don’t know your name or consistently use the name of the person sitting next to you when addressing you? Then you and your Hello Kitty notepad belong here.

21: My artistic rendition of the hideous medical-related artwork plastered to the wall. Seriously, there are enough actual things about medicine that make me want to throw up, so these artistic depictions are really unnecessary. Furthermore, staring at said artwork for more than one year has still left me absolutely clueless as to what is actually being depicted.

22: Block Chairs Only – if you’re sitting here, that means you’ve truly made it as an academician, doctor, and medical scholar. You have masterfully choreographed a stunning array of stimulating and insightful lectures geared towards educating and enlightening medical students and giving them enou - hey…where are you going? Class isn’t ov - hey!

23: Track Marks – created over time by lecturers as they propel themselves out of the lecture hall with speeds not seen since the time I tried (but failed) to run away from the Creature of the Enchanted Forest at a medical school party last year. They are usually futile in their attempts to escape the hordes of medical students who flock to them at the end of class, and said lecturers must then field generally pointless questions for the next 30 to 45 minutes. I’d suggest getting better shoes or making clearer lectures to remedy this situation, but realistically that would not change anything because these freak medical students are more ferocious than those tigers on the Discovery channel when it comes to ###### like this.

24: Lecturer’s podium and microphone equipment station – ever wonder where they came up with that noise for when the teacher talks in Peanuts? The magic happened here first. It’s amazing what happens when you combine the monotonous ramblings of an introverted pathology professor with publicly-funded audio-visual equipment that dates back to the discovery of cheese.

25: Exit, stage left – the mysterious abyss that block chairs run through when they just don’t want to be here anymore (see location 22). Surely, they are just so horrified by the classroom torture that they have spawned that they can no longer sit through it for another second.

 

 

I miss college. also, it humored me to sit in peoples seats after they clearly had marked thier territory after the first few weeks of class. when I went, ofcourse. which wasnt that often. man, if college took attendance it woulda really helped my GPA.

[DankNuggs 305]

Sounds like a bunch of whiny, elitist, entitled d-bags who made a huge mistake heading into the medical industry in 2010...

[heavy-set 39]

can we see her ######?

[phillybear 366]

That collection of medical people are boring. They argue boring. They make boring points. There is nothing there that is even a glimmer of intelligence. They would run mouth open into an AIDS thunderstorm.

[FlaHawker 24]

I think i'll just keep quiet in the class until question girl opens her mouth.

 

As the final classroom lectures of my life begin to wind down, I decided to draw a map of the classroom and describe the features of a genuine medical school lecture hall for all you future doctors. The only sad part of my lecture days winding down is that I'll probably be posting less on here after my rotations start near the end of June. But who knows, maybe I can still find some time between rectal exams.

 

Click here for the detailed map with numbers described below:

 

1: Entry/Exit door – symbolic of the wretched decay of the building that houses the lecture hall, this door came with a built in creak that can be heard up until at least twenty minutes have passed in the first lecture, as people file in late or check out (very) early. Also, this door can be so difficult to push open, people unfamiliar with this terrain often fall into the trap of thinking that location 2, and not this location, is the actual door. Extreme unintentional comedy ensues.

2: Lecture storage closet – created to store the vast array of tools and supplies necessary to maintain a room with…umm…a bunch of chairs, this door also serves as a place for people to enter when desiring to make out with that special someone during class, and/or when desiring to make a complete and utter ass out of oneself .

3: Computer Zone - Do you like to click incessantly on your computer, furiously transcribing every single word that comes out of the lecturers mouth and thoroughly annoying the crap out of everyone in the entire class? Do you not mind that lecturers publicly ridicule you for trying to write down every word of what they say, as even they recognize that half of what they are saying isn’t of the slightest bit of importance? If you answered yes to either one of these questions, then you belong here.

4: Computer Zone, Stinky Province - If you answered “yes” to both questions from location 3, and you also enjoy spending time in lecture eating the slimy, smelly crap you call a lunch, then you belong here. And congrats, your new name is Mrs. Stinky.

5: Welcome to Little Utah, home of aging Mormons who like to berate and shush at anyone and anything that makes a peep of noise during lecture. You’d think the satisfaction of knowing that the rest of us are going to be spending eternity burning in hell would be enough, but you’d be wrong.

6: The Jew Crew – this region consists of four Jews, two Indians, and the feistiest African-American girl you’ll ever meet.

7: Slackers Heaven - completely devoid of gunners (people who try so damn hard it pisses everyone off). Well, there is one nose-picking gunner who has infiltrated this section, but that’s another story. On any given day you’re likely to find an all-star lineup of people who can sleep through just about anything. Somebody give these guys a medal already.

8: Coolest Kids In School - where the coolest kids in class sit, where the best impromptu verbal smack-downs originate from, and where the best cat-calls can be heard from when any hot first year comes in to make an announcement. This is also where yours truly composes some of the best posts in fftoday history.

9: The Cursed Seat of Mr. Stinky. After his daily jog to class, Mr. Stinky, utterly drenched in sweat and dripping his salty bodily juices all over the seat cushion and desk, sits down here to enjoy lecture and make everyone around him uncomfortable and queasy. Not all is lost, however, because by observing the color change of his shirt (dark to light) as a result of the gallons of sweat evaporating into the musty lecture hall air, one can infer how much longer lecture will be going on.

10: Authentic Trail of Sweat - This is the trail of sweat that Mr. Stinky leaves behind each and every day on his way to and from his seat (see location 9). The beads of sweat gracing the floor are actually visible on warm days.

11: The Enchanted Forest – Named in honor of the female often found in this spot who received this name after the discovery that, at the age of 23 and currently studying medicine, she has not yet had a gynecologic exam and does not know what a speculum is. In other words, there are unconfirmed reports of undocumented species, exotic foliage, and even belligerent leprechauns roaming around in that forest. If you answer “yes” to any of the following questions, then perhaps you belong here, too. Do you ever find yourself raising your hand in class wanting to say something funny, only to find that no one else thinks what you are saying is even remotely funny? Do you ever find yourself raising your hand in class out of sheer indignation over something you found to be sexist, even when no one else in a ridiculously PC class read even a glimpse of sexism into the statement, thereby making a fool of yourself? Do you like sending dumb emails to the class list? Do you think people are following you? Does your name rhyme with “farta”? Welcome to your seat.

12: Seat reserved for boy geniuses.

13: Medical School Frat – where fart jokes, excessive wise-ass-ness, and blatant attempts to call attention to yourself pretending to fall asleep in the middle of lecture to show everyone that you are cool reside.

14: The Noah’s Bagels Crew – there is a saying that the only thing you can count on is death and taxes. I’d like to propose a third thing: Five minutes into lecture, I guarantee you that the door will open and the same three people will enter the lecture hall, noisily bumping there ways into the seats their devoted friend reserved from them while carrying massive bags from Noah’s Bagels. They will all proceed to eat bagel after bagel after bagel, fumbling while trying to spread their cream cheese and take notes at the same time. Apparently they didn’t get the memo that if you’re going to do that every day, you damn well better get enough for everyone. Asshats.

15: The Dreaded Front Row – don’t even think about taking a seat away from someone who has been sitting there for more than a year. These people are as protective of their seats as they are of whatever shred of dignity they have left.

16: Trusty and pointless table placed conveniently in front of the projector screen – where people put their audio recorders to tape lectures. The only thing worse than living through 97% of the lectures I heard over the course of two years of medical school is listening to them again. Which is apparently what a select few people do – listen to lectures over and over and over again. Maybe they have this crazy master plan to listen to two years worth of lectures straight while watching The Wizard of Oz, baked out of their minds and hoping to find the meaning of life. Maybe not. Either way, they’re a$$holes.

17: The Black Hole Vortex of Doom – also known as the location where Question Girl can be found most of the time. In this vortex, all concept of space, time, logic, intelligence, respect for time constraints on lecturers, ability to think more than one step ahead, and sheer decency are lost, ferociously devoured by the evil and disfigured creature that rules over this cruel dominion. Her two year reign of terror is almost over, but I still cannot understand how one person can ignore the pleas of just about every single person in our class and ask so many off-topic, disruptive, and irritating questions without any violent repercussions. There are rumors that those who plunge through this vortex are instantly crushed by a gravitational anomaly, but I’m pretty it’s just her a$$.

18: Mature Interest Group – requirements for entry into this section include having a spouse and/or children, an interest in constant intellectual discourse on complex metaphysical topics, a taste for fine wine, and a general haughty nature.

19: Oh the humanity! Shield your eyes from the horrors that sit in these seats. Unless you find yourself attracted to women who sound like Betty Boop but look more like Betty’s deformed aunt, Mertyl, or to pretentious men with curiously large and attractive breasts. In which case, approach with caution.

20: Anonymous Asian Female Section – do you ever feel like you blend into a crowd? That you’ve spent two years with the same group of people, but they either don’t know your name or consistently use the name of the person sitting next to you when addressing you? Then you and your Hello Kitty notepad belong here.

21: My artistic rendition of the hideous medical-related artwork plastered to the wall. Seriously, there are enough actual things about medicine that make me want to throw up, so these artistic depictions are really unnecessary. Furthermore, staring at said artwork for more than one year has still left me absolutely clueless as to what is actually being depicted.

22: Block Chairs Only – if you’re sitting here, that means you’ve truly made it as an academician, doctor, and medical scholar. You have masterfully choreographed a stunning array of stimulating and insightful lectures geared towards educating and enlightening medical students and giving them enou - hey…where are you going? Class isn’t ov - hey!

23: Track Marks – created over time by lecturers as they propel themselves out of the lecture hall with speeds not seen since the time I tried (but failed) to run away from the Creature of the Enchanted Forest at a medical school party last year. They are usually futile in their attempts to escape the hordes of medical students who flock to them at the end of class, and said lecturers must then field generally pointless questions for the next 30 to 45 minutes. I’d suggest getting better shoes or making clearer lectures to remedy this situation, but realistically that would not change anything because these freak medical students are more ferocious than those tigers on the Discovery channel when it comes to ###### like this.

24: Lecturer’s podium and microphone equipment station – ever wonder where they came up with that noise for when the teacher talks in Peanuts? The magic happened here first. It’s amazing what happens when you combine the monotonous ramblings of an introverted pathology professor with publicly-funded audio-visual equipment that dates back to the discovery of cheese.

25: Exit, stage left – the mysterious abyss that block chairs run through when they just don’t want to be here anymore (see location 22). Surely, they are just so horrified by the classroom torture that they have spawned that they can no longer sit through it for another second.

You're in med school? And you have this much time on your hands?

[IGotWorms 4,058]

That kind of reminds me of law school, only some of the people in your class might actually do something productive for society after they graduate.

[jerryskids 6,799]

Saturday we went to an open house for a school we are considering for our daughter. The principal gave an hour presentation; some people showed up 45 minutes in, and of course asked obvious questions that were already covered. The principal was clearly annoyed, stated that we had already covered that, but gave a brief summary (he is after all looking for "customers"). One guy then asked a question already answered, and the principal said "weren't you here when we covered that?" (he was, by the way).

 

I liked him; no-nonsense, high expectations of the parents and, I presume, the children.

[DankNuggs 305]

Saturday we went to an open house for a school we are considering for our daughter. The principal gave an hour presentation; some people showed up 45 minutes in, and of course asked obvious questions that were already covered. The principal was clearly annoyed, stated that we had already covered that, but gave a brief summary (he is after all looking for "customers"). One guy then asked a question already answered, and the principal said "weren't you here when we covered that?" (he was, by the way).

 

I liked him; no-nonsense, high expectations of the parents and, I presume, the children.

hopefully a private school, you do live in AZ right?

[JackARoot 2]

"1: Entry/Exit door – symbolic of the wretched decay of the building that houses the lecture hall, this door came with a built in creak that can be heard up until at least twenty minutes have passed in the first lecture, as people file in late or check out (very) early. Also, this door can be so difficult to push open, people unfamiliar with this terrain often fall into the trap of thinking that location 2, and not this location, is the actual door. Extreme unintentional comedy ensues.

2: Lecture storage closet – created to store the vast array of tools and supplies necessary to maintain a room with…umm…a bunch of chairs, this door also serves as a place for people to enter when desiring to make out with that special someone during class, and/or when desiring to make a complete and utter ass out of oneself ."

 

In law school, some chick went to leave early and went out the wrong door which led into the janitor's closet ... she stayed in there until the class ended and everyone left, much to our amusement

[jerryskids 6,799]

hopefully a private school, you do live in AZ right?

Actually it is a charter school, geared towards math and science. We had had the kids in a private school until this past year; the two older ones (6th and 8th grade) are doing fine in middle school, but my youngest's grade school is a joke. After the visit, my daughter (8 yrs old) was practically begging to go. When we pursued the topic, she said she is bored to death in her current school, it has huge classes with little to no personal interaction, and a bunch of kids cause trouble and try to get her involved. She is the "rule follower" of our group, and will thrive in a much more disciplined environment.

 

Also we've got a vote (Prop 100) coming up soon which is a temporary increase in taxes, without which schools will lose 5% of their funding, making it even worse. Also the prop is written such that there is no guarantee that the taxes go towards education (i.e., they might still lose funding anyway). The principal made a point that they've gotten a lot of outside grants and funding; in his words, "people are looking for models that work and are willing to contribute to them."

[MedStudent 56]

In law school, some chick went to leave early and went out the wrong door which led into the janitor's closet ... she stayed in there until the class ended and everyone left, much to our amusement

 

The same thing happened in our class. We have visiting students, future med students, who sit in on lectures when checking out the school. This little asian girl actually went into the closet and stayed there until the end of the lecture. Everyone was like wtf?

[Me_2006 14]

We had a similar situation in my Comp II class freshman year.

 

 

There were weekly readings, and the professor would pose a set of questions on the class discussion board for each person to log in and answer. Once you answered, you could see everyone elses responses, and you were to reply/discuss 4 of your classmates postings.

 

 

There was this dude in my class that would reply to EVERY SINGLE POST and not once did he ever agree. It was like his time to try and show how smart he was. Even if you had the same interpretation as he did, he would argue with your post and point out the flaws. It was maddening.

 

 

We got together and created an eharmony profile for him in Paint with stuff like "being an obnoxious cuunt" under activities, and posted the file under each of his replies because he basically would sit and refresh waiting for people to respond to his criticisms.

 

I got an email from the professor (cool chick, like 30-31, went to Florida State, played fantasy sports, etc.) that said she knew I was behind it and appreciated the wit but to keep the personal attacks out of it.

[BunnysBastatrds 2,442]

The same thing happened in our class. We have visiting students, future med students, who sit in on lectures when checking out the school. This little asian girl actually went into the closet and stayed there until the end of the lecture. Everyone was like wtf?

 

How compassionate of you not to help her.

[DankNuggs 305]

How compassionate of you not to help her.

He was sititng in section 8, the self annointed 'cool kid' section... Getting made fun of by the smelly sweaty kid and the nerds eating indian food...

[RicemanX 20]

It is NOT lupus

[MedStudent 56]

How compassionate of you not to help her.

 

Well she wasn't trapped in there. She just decided to stay in there, I guess out of sheer embarassment.

[IGotWorms 4,058]

hopefully a private school, you do live in AZ right?

 

How elitist of you.

[FlaHawker 24]

How elitist of you.

Elitist? Hell no! He wants the best for his kids and having them sit in a government school classroom filled with out of control Mexicans would be child abuse. You like the illegals invading the schools, then you send your kids to go sit with them.

[footballpowers 0]

Elitist? Hell no! He wants the best for his kids and having them sit in a government school classroom filled with out of control Mexicans would be child abuse. You like the illegals invading the schools, then you send your kids to go sit with them.

 

 

You sir, are a very intelligent individual!

[IGotWorms 4,058]

Elitist? Hell no! He wants the best for his kids and having them sit in a government school classroom filled with out of control Mexicans would be child abuse. You like the illegals invading the schools, then you send your kids to go sit with them.

 

Um, I guess I meant: "How racist of you."

 

My bad.

[FlaHawker 24]

Um, I guess I meant: "How racist of you."

 

My bad.

Now the race card? What's next the wealth envy card?

[Gepetto 1,368]

Um, I guess I meant: "How racist of you."

 

My bad.

 

How Liberal of You.

[IGotWorms 4,058]

How Liberal of You.

 

If the choice is between being a liberal or being a mexican-hating bigot, I'll gladly take the former.

[BunnysBastatrds 2,442]

Well she wasn't trapped in there. She just decided to stay in there, I guess out of sheer embarassment.

 

And you knew, as did others from your previous statement, "This little asian girl actually went into the closet and stayed there until the end of the lecture. Everyone was like wtf?" that it was an emarassing situation? Did you also flick insults at the mentally disabled in high school and sit back and wonder, "WTF"? Or did you stand up and help the mentally challenged? Looks like you need a re-fresher course in humillity? She sure could have used some. Whether it's help or compassion, you showed neither. And now you laugh about it. Good for you. She wasn't "trapped in there". She was scared and confused and you decided it was sh!t on the little Asian girl time and let her fend for herself. You could have gotten number one fawky but decided it wasn't worth your time or sincere persona you throw around this place. Gotcha! And since you know what she was feeling from a guess, "embarassment" that makes you even more of a fawking douche.

[MedStudent 56]

And you knew, as did others from your previous statement, "This little asian girl actually went into the closet and stayed there until the end of the lecture. Everyone was like wtf?" that it was an emarassing situation? Did you also flick insults at the mentally disabled in high school and sit back and wonder, "WTF"? Or did you stand up and help the mentally challenged? Looks like you need a re-fresher course in humillity? She sure could have used some. Whether it's help or compassion, you showed neither. And now you laugh about it. Good for you. She wasn't "trapped in there". She was scared and confused and you decided it was sh!t on the little Asian girl time and let her fend for herself. You could have gotten number one fawky but decided it wasn't worth your time or sincere persona you throw around this place. Gotcha! And since you know what she was feeling from a guess, "embarassment" that makes you even more of a fawking douche.

 

It was funny as hell and I still laugh about it a year later! i guess you had to be there or at least you need to have a sense of humor which you obviously don't have.

 

 

Its funny how rp or flahawker will follow me into nonpolitical threads because i kick their a$$es in the political threads.

[BunnysBastatrds 2,442]

It was funny as hell and I still laugh about it a year later! i guess you had to be there or at least you need to have a sense of humor which you obviously don't have.

Its funny how rp or flahawker will follow me into nonpolitical threads because i kick their a$$es in the political threads.

 

 

RP and Fly are what to this discussion between you and I?? I was talking to you....not them. I'll try a bit harder to distinguish you from them. At least they know what the discussion is. You flattering yourself outside of any discussion or debate with them directly thru here is cowardly. You kick their asses? Great. Remind me to be afraid......very afraid.

 

"I had to be there or at least have a sense of humor". No....I know you. You were the pretend nice guy ###### in school that made fun of the weak behind their backs and turned around and pretended to be their friends when nobody but them were paying attention. You tell a story about a new student who embarrases herslf into a closet and doesn't come out because of it. Love the compassion on your part. That's what seperates most. HTH

[Riddlen 1]

RP and Fly are what to this discussion between you and I?? I was talking to you....not them. I'll try a bit harder to distinguish you from them. At least they know what the discussion is. You flattering yourself outside of any discussion or debate with them directly thru here is cowardly. You kick their asses? Great. Remind me to be afraid......very afraid.

 

"I had to be there or at least have a sense of humor". No....I know you. You were the pretend nice guy ###### in school that made fun of the weak behind their backs and turned around and pretended to be their friends when nobody but them were paying attention. You tell a story about a new student who embarrases herslf into a closet and doesn't come out because of it. Love the compassion on your part. That's what seperates most. HTH

wow, thanks for that Calvin