Have you ever slept with a prostitute?

[timschochet 3]

I've often wondered what it's like to be with a prostitute. Is it thrilling? Sensual? Scary? Or overrated?

 

Alas, I'll never know because I'm now married with two daughters, but let me live vicariously through your past encounters with a prostitute. Female or male experiences welcome.

[Frank M 181]

Overrated.

[IGotWorms 4,058]

Never.

 

Ask the Moz though, he's all about taking advantage of poor women sold into sexual slavery in third-world countries, all the while ranting about how pious he is.

[Strike 5,532]

I've often wondered what it's like to be with a prostitute. Is it thrilling? Sensual? Scary? Or overrated?

 

Alas, I'll never know because I'm now married with two daughters, but let me live vicariously through your past encounters with a prostitute. Female or male experiences welcome.

Your Mom.

[parrot 789]

Your Mom.

Is there anything that woman won't do for a jelly donut?

[NorthernVike 2,086]

Define prostitute.

 

 

I would be hundreds of thousands of dollars ahead if I had only focked prostitutes instead of getting married.

[timschochet 3]

Your Mom.

You must be quite old. My mother got out of the business when I was born.

[Patriotsfatboy1 1,432]

So, the thread gets deleted over at FGB's, but it had some good content. Let's see what the Geeks can come up with.

[timschochet 3]

Overrated.

Why was it overrated? No sense of intimacy? You didn't last long enough to get your money's worth? Hooker stole your wallet? A wistful sense of loss youth?

[Phurfur 70]

Have you ever slept with a prostitute?

 

Isn't that when they take the rest of your money and leave?

[Frank M 181]

Why was it overrated? No sense of intimacy? You didn't last long enough to get your money's worth? Hooker stole your wallet? A wistful sense of loss youth?

 

No, the sex was subpar.

[Recliner Pilot 61]

No, the sex was subpar.

Did he give you a partial refund?

[Patriotsfatboy1 1,432]

I've never actually slept with one.

[The Moz 69]

I've often wondered what it's like to be with a prostitute. Is it thrilling? Sensual? Scary? Or overrated?

 

Alas, I'll never know because I'm now married with two daughters, but let me live vicariously through your past encounters with a prostitute. Female or male experiences welcome.

No never "slept" with any wh0re.

 

In short I would say no hassle. Isn't thrilling nor sensual (scary if you don't double bag it) -- think going to a strip club only a little better.

[FlaHawker 24]

 

No, the sex was subpar.

Were you subpar or was MDC's wife a cold fish?

[parrot 789]

You must be quite old. My mother got out of the business when I was born.

Well sure, that's what she told you.

[NewbieJr 541]

Were you subpar or was MDC's wife a cold fish?

Please stop trying to be funny. I beg you. It's painful to watch. Not an ounce of humor in that Play-Doh brain of yours.

[Recliner Pilot 61]

Irony.

[BunnysBastatrds 2,436]

I was a male prostitute for one night when I was twenty. I was out one night with a bunch of friends when this 40 year old Iranian woman (34B) walked up to us and asked if she could buy us a drink. On a scale 1-10 she was maybe a 4. Short hair and ugly face but a nice body. She told us she was a professor at LSU and liked to hang out with young adults. Many drinks in she asks if I want to go back to her place. My friends are shaking their heads no and laughing so I told her yes as long as she had more drinks at her place.

 

So we get there and she makes us a drink. She casualy starts walking up the steps to her bedroom and asks if I would like to join her. Me: I don't do this for free. I charge $200.00 a night. You get everything. Ugly Iranian: Deal. So we fawk all night. I was drunk and thought she looked better than she actually did. We fawked right there on the stairs. In the kitchen. Outside on her patio and finally in her bedroom. She was actually a pretty damn good lay. Until the next morning. I woke up in bed naked with two $100.00 bills laying on my chest while she took pictures.Me: What the fawk are you doing? Ugly Iranian: You remind me of my son. My friends aren't going to believe this. Now I have proof. You always wake up that happy? I couldn't get the fawk out of there fast enough.

 

The only reason I did it was I had court the next day for a speeding ticket I knew I wasn't getting out of. And I was broke with no money to pay the man. My friends are convinced I'd have done it for free.

[timschochet 3]

I was a male prostitute for one night when I was twenty. I was out one night with a bunch of friends when this 40 year old Iranian woman (34B) walked up to us and asked if she could buy us a drink. On a scale 1-10 she was maybe a 4. Short hair and ugly face but a nice body. She told us she was a professor at LSU and liked to hang out with young adults. Many drinks in she asks if I want to go back to her place. My friends are shaking their heads no and laughing so I told her yes as long as she had more drinks at her place.

 

So we get there and she makes us a drink. She casualy starts walking up the steps to her bedroom and asks if I would like to join her. Me: I don't do this for free. I charge $200.00 a night. You get everything. Ugly Iranian: Deal. So we fawk all night. I was drunk and thought she looked better than she actually did. We fawked right there on the stairs. In the kitchen. Outside on her patio and finally in her bedroom. She was actually a pretty damn good lay. Until the next morning. I woke up in bed naked with two $100.00 bills laying on my chest while she took pictures.Me: What the fawk are you doing? Ugly Iranian: You remind me of my son. My friends aren't going to believe this. Now I have proof. You always wake up that happy? I couldn't get the fawk out of there fast enough.

 

The only reason I did it was I had court the next day for a speeding ticket I knew I wasn't getting out of. And I was broke with no money to pay the man. My friends are convinced I'd have done it for free.

 

 

Thank you. We need more stories like that.

[FlaHawker 24]

Please stop trying to be funny. I beg you. It's painful to watch. Not an ounce of humor in that Play-Doh brain of yours.

It wasn't a joke.

[MTSkiBum 1,620]

No.

[mahan day 4]

I never have. I would be way too scared, but watching some of those COPS episodes I gotta admit, I have been a bit turned on by some of those black ones.

[Voltaire 5,315]

 

 

I was a male prostitute for one night when I was twenty. I was out one night with a bunch of friends when this 40 year old Iranian woman (34B) walked up to us and asked if she could buy us a drink. On a scale 1-10 she was maybe a 4. Short hair and ugly face but a nice body. She told us she was a professor at LSU and liked to hang out with young adults. Many drinks in she asks if I want to go back to her place. My friends are shaking their heads no and laughing so I told her yes as long as she had more drinks at her place.

 

So we get there and she makes us a drink. She casualy starts walking up the steps to her bedroom and asks if I would like to join her. Me: I don't do this for free. I charge $200.00 a night. You get everything. Ugly Iranian: Deal. So we fawk all night. I was drunk and thought she looked better than she actually did. We fawked right there on the stairs. In the kitchen. Outside on her patio and finally in her bedroom. She was actually a pretty damn good lay. Until the next morning. I woke up in bed naked with two $100.00 bills laying on my chest while she took pictures.Me: What the fawk are you doing? Ugly Iranian: You remind me of my son. My friends aren't going to believe this. Now I have proof. You always wake up that happy? I couldn't get the fawk out of there fast enough.

 

The only reason I did it was I had court the next day for a speeding ticket I knew I wasn't getting out of. And I was broke with no money to pay the man. My friends are convinced I'd have done it for free.

LSU? I thought you said she was a professor at Tulane. No matter ... the heart of the story is consistent with last time.

[IGotWorms 4,058]

 

LSU? I thought you said she was a professor at Tulane. No matter ... the heart of the story is consistent with last time.

 

The reigning two-term GOTY cannot tell a lie

[BunnysBastatrds 2,436]

 

LSU? I thought you said she was a professor at Tulane. No matter ... the heart of the story is consistent with last time.

I get my Green Wave and Tiger stories mixed up sometimes. Shoot me! I was drunk and would have fawked a UNO or Southern Miss Proffesor given the chance. I drew the line at Loyola cvnts.

 

I forgot to add to the story how she showed up to my work at the Seafood restaurant and told the old lady waitress that I was good in the sack. Ugly Iranian: Bunny is good. I want some more! Old Ass Waitress: rabbit is not in season. How about fresh crabs?

[BunnysBastatrds 2,436]

 

The reigning two-term GOTY cannot tell a lie

You once said I fudge a bit. I don't. I may change the names to protect the stoopid though.