I Hate Squirels

BunnysBastatrds · June 8, 2014

So for the past couple of weeks I've been hearing a party going on the attic. A big party. It only lasts for an hour, just around the time the sun goes down. I keep my leftover Mardi Gras beads and other throws up there in the far corner behind all my Christmas/Easter/Halloween/Thanksgiving/July4th and various other crap the wifey likes to decorate the house with for every occasion. So Igo up there and see that the vermin have found the shiny toys and have their own party parade. They ate into the bags and have strewn them across the entire attic in a way you wouldn't believe a tiny critter could. The most impressive was an umbrella decorated with glitter, panties, a bra, and some heavy gauged titty beads. Mind you, this umbrella weighs 100 times more than they do. I was in Fawking awe.

So I bought the green brick rat poison and placed them all over. It's the poison that's supposed to make them thirsty and they go outside to find water. Once they do, they Fawking are supposed to die where they drink the water. Not mine. Little bastards died in the wall. Got home from my girls softball tourney after twelve hours of baking in the sun, which the Rockies apperntly did also, and the back part of the house is stinking like the Last ginger I banged after a Korn concert.

This sucks. Going to buys pellet gun tomorrow and will execute all of them in the coming days.

Giants Fan · June 8, 2014

I like squirrels. I planted oak trees in the desert just for the squirrels. We got pigeons now though, because we feed the native birds. Also, purchased a pellet gun.

NorthernVike · June 8, 2014

Meh, they aren't that bad, taste like chicken.

BunnysBastatrds · June 8, 2014

I fWking hate them. I'd share a beer with anything but a squirrel.

Giants Fan · June 8, 2014

So, we have this pine tree. Old tree. One day, I notice there is this big green ball in it. It's not fungus ... Looks to be made of fresh green pine needles .... could it be a squirrel nest?

Giants Fan · June 8, 2014

Wanna know what I saw today? A mother quail and like 6 babies following her. Surprising because its hot, late in the year for chicks ... These guys are like marshmallow sized, little birds.

We'll see though. We provide water and food to the desert birds in our area .. so, they couldn't be in a better place.

Might survive and fly away, and when you quail hunters shoot a quail ... say thanks to people like me that provide for nature, rather than take from it.

MTSkiBum · June 8, 2014

I fWking hate them. I'd share a beer with anything but a squirrel.

Does not sound fun.

We have alot of squirrels in our yard they have gotten into our tomatoes a few times. Although your experience with them is much worse.

BiPolarBear · June 8, 2014

We had a rat die in a wall at work and it was horrible. The ants finally cleaned it up. It was in the wall by the copy room and I made I made copies for some of the women who couldn't deal with the stench.

Wha shew gonna doo? Just wait for the stink to go away or are you going to have holes cut in the wall and get em out?

jerryskids · June 8, 2014

Do you hate them worse than black widows?

Also, just before 9/11/2001 I heard a buzzing noise in my daughter's room. Tracked the sound to a wall thinking WTF, some kind of electrical problem? looked down at the outlet and saw dozens of antennae sticking out of the wall plate. Apparently some bees took up nest in our wall.

I duct taped the outlets and called an exterminator. On the morning of 9/11 I got up early to let in the bug guy. My wife got up later, after the first plane hit, and heard about it on the radio. We told the bug guy and he was like "meh, I've got bees to kill." Of course we didn't really know the extent of what was happening at the time.

BunnysBastatrds · June 9, 2014

Do you hate them worse than black widows?

Also, just before 9/11/2001 I heard a buzzing noise in my daughter's room. Tracked the sound to a wall thinking WTF, some kind of electrical problem? looked down at the outlet and saw dozens of antennae sticking out of the wall plate. Apparently some bees took up nest in our wall.

I duct taped the outlets and called an exterminator. On the morning of 9/11 I got up early to let in the bug guy. My wife got up later, after the first plane hit, and heard about it on the radio. We told the bug guy and he was like "meh, I've got bees to kill." Of course we didn't really know the extent of what was happening at the time.

I hate the squirrels. Fawking hate them. Spiders are subjective and territorially adept. I know my place in the world, and so do they. We can coexist. Squirrels, no. I wish y'all could see what they did within my attic space. I laughed and b!tched at the same time. Unbelievable what they did.

IAMWood · June 9, 2014

I hate the squirrels. Fawking hate them. Spiders are subjective and territorially adept. I know my place in the world, and so do they. We can coexist. Squirrels, no. I wish y'all could see what they did within my attic space. I laughed and b!tched at the same time. Unbelievable what they did.

I ride my bike at this park close by, fattest squirrels on the planet. very tame because everyone feeds them. I ride my bike right at them and they play chicken til the last second in case I have food.

:music_guitarred:

BunnysBastatrds · June 9, 2014

They eat my cigarettes also. Little Fawkers.

BunnysBastatrds · June 9, 2014

Spiders don't do that!

BunnysBastatrds · June 9, 2014

I love spiders

mmmmm...beer · June 9, 2014

I hate the squirrels. Fawking hate them. Spiders are subjective and territorially adept. I know my place in the world, and so do they. We can coexist. Squirrels, no. I wish y'all could see what they did within my attic space. I laughed and b!tched at the same time. Unbelievable what they did.

Yeah if only there was some sort of device that would let you take an image, snapshot if you will of said craziness and easily upload it to the interwebs. But yeah.... haha maybe when cars fly like on the Jetsons eh Bunny?

OldMaid · June 9, 2014

When you die, I hope you're surrounded by hundreds of squirrels.

penultimatestraw · June 9, 2014

Yeah if only there was some sort of device that would let you take an image, snapshot if you will of said craziness and easily upload it to the interwebs. But yeah.... haha maybe when cars fly like on the Jetsons eh Bunny?

Maybe he can sketch the scene and mail it to each of us? Wait, did it look anything like this?

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OldMaid · June 9, 2014

Maybe he can sketch the scene and mail it to each of us? Wait, did it look anything like this?

,;;:;,

;;;;;

,:;;:; ,'=.

;:;:;' .=" ,'_\

':;:;,/ ,__:=@

';;:; =./)_

`"=\_ )_"`

``'"`

:lol: