The El Padrino wants to make deals

[Frozenbeernuts 1,652]

Good. Then give us your next years first rounder for Vance.

Ahh the vaunted San Francisco pass game. I can't give away the first overall pick next year for vance

[gocolts 300]

I am not ignoring, just considering my counter offer and if I can make a deal with frozenbeernuts.

[cbfalcon 824]

League mates, at this witching hour of 4:05am, the El Padrino finds himself free of company and distractions, now allowing for the time to required to beckon those of you that require beckoning.

 

I shall not name names aloud. Mostly because the El Padrino hasn't bothered to learn any of your names, but slightly because the El Padrino wishes not for his friends to awaken under an umbrella colored with shame and embarrassment.

 

And what be thy sin that so many of you are so guilty of on this Sunday morning? Did the El Padrino not request offers for your very best player? Some of you have obliged, while others haven't even so much as made contact with the El Padrino in regards to such matters.

 

I could make threats, but as benevolent ruler, the El Padrino respects the Sunday Truce. For this reason, war is not imminent. Instead The El Padrino will awake late, expecting offers. The El Padrino is taking notes compadres. Abide.

 

Lastly, the El Padrino wants you to know that he is only firm with you because he loves you. Love. Think about what that word means on this day. Love.

 

Sincerely,

The Die Nasty El Padrino

[Frozenbeernuts 1,652]

There is still one offer I am waiting on that affects making more offers in this league. As soon as a decision is made there will be a flurry coming out of my camp again.

[WhiteWonder 2,172]

isn't calling yourself the El Padrino a bit redundant?

[cbfalcon 824]

isn't calling yourself the El Padrino a bit redundant?

The El Padrino has truthfully been waiting for someone to make this observation since day 1. At the time, a witty one liner was at the ready. But as the days, weeks, months, and decades went by with not a single owner making said observation, said witty retort has long faded from my mind.

 

Many of my fans have actually theorized that others had noticed this redundancy, but the thinking is that owners like Mmmmbeets in particular are often hesitant to challenge me these days. They partially fear my verbal response, but they also fear what will happen on the battlefield. We had an incident last season for example, in which MmmmBeets became very loud and defiant in route to putting up 145 points against me. But when he realized his only actual accomplishment was keeping it within 100 pts, as he fell 239-145, he went silent. The league hasn't really heard so much as a whisper from him since.

 

So yes, that's the theory of the fans and columnists that have sources around the league. But I would like to applaud you for having the guts to speak here. For your bravery, I will reward you with a series of random trade offers.

 

With Love,

The El Padrino

[mmmmm...beer 691]

The El Padrino has truthfully been waiting for someone to make this observation since day 1. At the time, a witty one liner was at the ready. But as the days, weeks, months, and decades went by with not a single owner making said observation, said witty retort has long faded from my mind.

 

Many of my fans have actually theorized that others had noticed this redundancy, but the thinking is that owners like Mmmmbeets in particular are often hesitant to challenge me these days. They partially fear my verbal response, but they also fear what will happen on the battlefield. We had an incident last season for example, in which MmmmBeets became very loud and defiant in route to putting up 145 points against me. But when he realized his only actual accomplishment was keeping it within 100 pts, as he fell 239-145, he went silent. The league hasn't really heard so much as a whisper from him since.

 

So yes, that's the theory of the fans and columnists that have sources around the league. But I would like to applaud you for having the guts to speak here. For your bravery, I will reward you with a series of random trade offers.

 

With Love,

The El Padrino

None of this ever happened. Lies and thread doctoring!

[cbfalcon 824]

None of this ever happened. Lies and thread doctoring!

 

http://www51.myfantasyleague.com/2015/weekly?L=21114&W=3

 

I've spoken with my team of psychologists and they are of the belief that you've blocked the traumatic incident out. They have told me this is completely normal, and in many cases a quite healthy way of coping. They have advised me to let the memories lie dormant, but i am choosing to forego their advice in hopes of shaking you up, so that you'll re-engage. I'm not to be feared Mmmmbeets. I'm your friend. I promise. Yes, something bad happened in week 3 of 2015, but you've survived it and can come back to us now.

 

With heart and soul,

The El Padrino

[Frozenbeernuts 1,652]

Damn your butt must have hurt after that one.

[mmmmm...beer 691]

Damn your butt must have hurt after that one.

Thread manipulations... the russians!

 

Plus... his name is chris... a chicks name for focks sakes. La Chrissy... thats his new spanish name. La Christina...

[SUXBNME 1,337]

Offer on the table, El Fucko

[Frozenbeernuts 1,652]

Medstudent!

[cbfalcon 824]

Medstudent!

You have two choices.

1. Make your offers to The El Padrino (whom has just wrapped up yet another trade) now.

2. Wait on Medstudent to emerge from his make believe play set, only to eventually give up, before turning to the El Padrino only to learn the circus has already moved along and is two towns over.

[SUXBNME 1,337]

You have two choices.

1. Make your offers to The El Padrino (whom has just wrapped up yet another trade) now.

2. Wait on Medstudent to emerge from his make believe play set, only to eventually give up, before turning to the El Padrino only to learn the circus has already moved along and is two towns over.

 

You prolly got the better of us on this trade, but it was a fair trade. Allegedly

[cbfalcon 824]

Is MFL website down? I am trying to propose more trades that will cripple my franchise, and it's not letting me on.....Reports are that some here have petetioned MFL to freeze me out, giving you all more time to figure out my strategy.

[kutulu 1,548]

Being a dickhead isn't really a strategy

[Frozenbeernuts 1,652]

Is MFL website down? I am trying to propose more trades that will cripple my franchise, and it's not letting me on.....Reports are that some here have petetioned MFL to freeze me out, giving you all more time to figure out my strategy.

I think I got it. Your strategy is to collect as many big fast black dudes as possible. I'm on to your tricks.

[cbfalcon 824]

The El Padrino is still shucking and jiving.

 

Kunts, you have an offer to accept.... Ed, you have an offer to turn down without countering due to laziness.....Gary, shiit or get off the pot.....Frozenguy, I'm sure you'll have another offer that you won't counter to later......Pat, you'll have another offer that you won't accept, reject, or counter soon....Paranoid Androids, I'm going to examine your needs and make an offer for you to turn down soon. Bigtraine, I'm making no offers to you.

 

My team feels average. You all know this is bad for the league. I get ratings. I top most loved and most hated lists each year. I move the needle. The El Padrino means more money, woman, and absinthe for all. Music, lights, legs, and glory. We are all in this together guys. Let's keep our eye on the ball.

 

Sincerely with glory,

The El Padrino

[mobb_deep 917]

Your dynasty is over man. Keep shucking and jiving,

but this is the year of the Romosexuals.

 

We all know MedStoopid was a flash in the pan. I've run the division for 8 years.

[Frozenbeernuts 1,652]

Come on. You guys have been playing long enough to know that beginners luck is a real thing. So I get beginners luck plus a wicked team. How am I not the favorite to win?

[kutulu 1,548]

Rejected

[cbfalcon 824]

Rejected

 

I'm shocked. I made a great case for your acceptance I thought.

[SUXBNME 1,337]

Come on. You guys have been playing long enough to know that beginners luck is a real thing. So I get beginners luck plus a wicked team. How am I not the favorite to win?

Shitty team management

[Frozenbeernuts 1,652]

Shitty team management

I have been on the job for a week and I have already managed my team into a oblivion? Shlt

[gocolts 300]

forzenbeernuts, I am going to accept that trade bro. I just need another trade approved first to clear some roster space, soon as it approved, I will accept it bro. THANKS

[SUXBNME 1,337]

I have been on the job for a week and I have already managed my team into a oblivion? Shlt

I was more talking about how bad you're gonna fock it up with who you start / sit during the season, but hey...If the shoe fits

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[cbfalcon 824]

The El Padrino would like to officially offer it's thanks to the Dung Dealers for allowing Steve Smith to finish is prolific career with the franchise that originally drafted him. It was a classy move from one of our classier franchises.

 

Steve Smith...it's almost impossible to praise such a warrior too much. We all know this is his swan song. So his only value is to a franchise believing it can make a run this very season. The El Padrino believes we are the team to maximize his final run at glory.

 

Are the lesser owners in this league aware that Steve Smith was a top 10 WR after 8 weeks last season, which is when he suffered his injury? Mr Smith was a top 20 WR the year prior. Now, is this what your El Padrino expects of Mr. Smith in 2016? Of course not. But we were able to acquire his services for this 2016 season for a reasonable price, and the upside is there as a WR3 or possible Flex option. Again, we would like to thank the classy Dun Dealers franchise, and I'd like to make it known to you other owners that Gary is now under El Padrino protection. Gary, we love you over here and Padrino Headquarters. Call on us at any time my friend.

[Frozenbeernuts 1,652]

I was more talking about how bad you're gonna fock it up with who you start / sit during the season, but hey...If the shoe fits

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I'm just glad I don't have to decide to sit or start the mighty Marshawn Lynch. That's a toughy

[Frozenbeernuts 1,652]

The El Padrino would like to officially offer it's thanks to the Dung Dealers for allowing Steve Smith to finish is prolific career with the franchise that originally drafted him. It was a classy move from one of our classier franchises.

 

Steve Smith...it's almost impossible to praise such a warrior too much. We all know this is his swan song. So his only value is to a franchise believing it can make a run this very season. The El Padrino believes we are the team to maximize his final run at glory.

 

Are the lesser owners in this league aware that Steve Smith was a top 10 WR after 8 weeks last season, which is when he suffered his injury? Mr Smith was a top 20 WR the year prior. Now, is this what your El Padrino expects of Mr. Smith in 2016? Of course not. But we were able to acquire his services for this 2016 season for a reasonable price, and the upside is there as a WR3 or possible Flex option. Again, we would like to thank the classy Dun Dealers franchise, and I'd like to make it known to you other owners that Gary is now under El Padrino protection. Gary, we love you over here and Padrino Headquarters. Call on us at any time my friend.

That was a sneaky move. It could be the difference between making the playoffs with a bye or without.

[cbfalcon 824]

That was a sneaky move. It could be the difference between making the playoffs with a bye or without.

 

Thank you. It was the sort of deal that benefits both franchises. Gary gets a solid pick, and only surrenders someone that won't be around when his team gets good again. I get a guy that may help me on the field, but even if not, he is an emotional leader that can help behind the scenes. I see him transitioning into a coaching role for the El Padrino going forward even.

 

On a slightly similar plain, if you want to move Brandon Marshall, I'll listen. He was on my team prior to this season, and we will happily welcome him back if there is a fit. He is the type of player my franchise embraces.

[Frozenbeernuts 1,652]

 

Thank you. It was the sort of deal that benefits both franchises. Gary gets a solid pick, and only surrenders someone that won't be around when his team gets good again. I get a guy that may help me on the field, but even if not, he is an emotional leader that can help behind the scenes. I see him transitioning into a coaching role for the El Padrino going forward even.

 

On a slightly similar plain, if you want to move Brandon Marshall, I'll listen. He was on my team prior to this season, and we will happily welcome him back if there is a fit. He is the type of player my franchise embraces.

I am willing to deal him. I do expect a near top 5 season from him and still see him as a potential top 12 guy the next year or two. So he isn't as long in the tooph as Smith.

[cbfalcon 824]

I am willing to deal him. I do expect a near top 5 season from him and still see him as a potential top 12 guy the next year or two. So he isn't as long in the tooph as Smith.

 

Obviously I wouldn't expect to get him for a Steve Smith price.

 

Feel free to make me an offer or send me an email with your thoughts, and I'll see if there is anything there.

[cbfalcon 824]

I am willing to deal him. I do expect a near top 5 season from him and still see him as a potential top 12 guy the next year or two. So he isn't as long in the tooph as Smith.

 

I responded with a good explanation as to why I said no. Feel free to throw more at me. I'm the anti-ed. I even enjoy stupid offers kinda.

[SUXBNME 1,337]

 

I even enjoy stupid offers kinda.

Vouch

[gocolts 300]

I do not think my comments went through on that trade offer CBF. I might do something like and need a RB, but there is no way I can give up that WR. THANKS though bro.

[patweisers44 697]

Reply sent, CBF. For some reason I am no longer getting emails with trade offers, etc.

 

Ed, get ready to approve a trade.

[edjr 5,567]

I have young studs at WR I need stolen from me.

[WhiteWonder 2,172]

I'd like to offer more trades but they recently hired some very attractive Filipino nurses at my hospital. Been a big distraction and I have not had as much time to come up with offers.

[mobb_deep 917]

I'm trying to trade with FBN, but he's being very difficult.

[Frozenbeernuts 1,652]

I never put out on the first trade offer