Adults shouting at children can be as harmful as sexual or physical abuse, study finds...

[TheNewGirl 1,494]

On 10/4/2023 at 5:12 AM, 5-Points said:

Exactly. 

I was spanked, got the belt or wooden spoon when I focked up real bad. Had my "mouth washed out with soap" on a couple of occasions. 

I would've taken a loud talking to over any of that. 

Same. 

I was spanked with/without a belt or other item that was readily available. My dad would do the spanking/beating, but my mom would slap across the face if you smarted back. I remember one time, her wedding ring gave me a nice bruise on my jaw (I was around 19 when that one happened). 

I never spanked my kids. I swore that when I had kids I would never use that type of physical punishment or fear. Are they softer than other kids? Perhaps. But I also know that when I go to give them a hug, or if my hand raises up for any reason, they don't cower in fear. I remember my dad pushing back from the table to just get up, and my body's immediately response was to run or cower. It was frightening. 

I would have preferred being yelled at. 

[jerryskids 6,799]

16 minutes ago, TheNewGirl said:

Same. 

I was spanked with/without a belt or other item that was readily available. My dad would do the spanking/beating, but my mom would slap across the face if you smarted back. I remember one time, her wedding ring gave me a nice bruise on my jaw (I was around 19 when that one happened). 

I never spanked my kids. I swore that when I had kids I would never use that type of physical punishment or fear. Are they softer than other kids? Perhaps. But I also know that when I go to give them a hug, or if my hand raises up for any reason, they don't cower in fear. I remember my dad pushing back from the table to just get up, and my body's immediately response was to run or cower. It was frightening. 

I would have preferred being yelled at. 

Sorry to hear that.  I was spanked/paddled, albeit younger than 19.  In my mind, I had been misbehaving at each time.  My father never once came home after a bad day and abused us, physically or emotionally.  So I carry no scars.

I thought @Blue Horseshoe had a good post above.  Verbal and physical discipline are tools; tools can be used for good or for bad.  A toddler reaching for a hot pan handle on the stove can use a swat in the arm followed by stern words, not a calm dissertation on the thermal conductive properties of boiling oil.

I also think "shouting" is a poor proxy for verbal abuse.  A parent who repeatedly tells their kid that they suck and they'll never amount to anything can do so in a calm voice, but it can still have devastating long-term effects.

[TheNewGirl 1,494]

32 minutes ago, jerryskids said:

Sorry to hear that.  I was spanked/paddled, albeit younger than 19.  In my mind, I had been misbehaving at each time.  My father never once came home after a bad day and abused us, physically or emotionally.  So I carry no scars.

I thought @Blue Horseshoe had a good post above.  Verbal and physical discipline are tools; tools can be used for good or for bad.  A toddler reaching for a hot pan handle on the stove can use a swat in the arm followed by stern words, not a calm dissertation on the thermal conductive properties of boiling oil.

I also think "shouting" is a poor proxy for verbal abuse.  A parent who repeatedly tells their kid that they suck and they'll never amount to anything can do so in a calm voice, but it can still have devastating long-term effects.

Yes, I agree with this as well. 

I am sure I yelled or shouted at my kids more than once when there was a clear danger (like something being hot). And I completely agree that verbal abuse comes in many different tones and volumes. 

 

[HellToupee 1,779]

4 hours ago, BuckSwope said:

You and tim should fock and get it over with.   Cute you guys brought your FBGs spat over here though.  

Nah it’s not like that , it’s not like his sidekick squissy. We just have a professional rivalry . Game respects game & all that 

[Engorgeous George 2,331]

I was spanked, usually width a belt, sometimes with the buckle end of the belt.  I don't know that it taught me anything other than the buckle end was worse than the leather end.

 

I reserve to myself, as a parent, the right to use corporal punishment on my children so long as it does not necessitate medical care.

 

I have never used corporal punishment on any of my children.  I tried reasoning with them instead.  The fact is I have never punished any of my children. They are now having children of their own, except the youngest.  As faxr as i know they have never used corporal punishment on their children.

[easilyscan 926]

Timeouts are the solution.

 

[5-Points 3,535]

17 hours ago, TheNewGirl said:

Same. 

I was spanked with/without a belt or other item that was readily available. My dad would do the spanking/beating, but my mom would slap across the face if you smarted back. I remember one time, her wedding ring gave me a nice bruise on my jaw (I was around 19 when that one happened). 

I never spanked my kids. I swore that when I had kids I would never use that type of physical punishment or fear. Are they softer than other kids? Perhaps. But I also know that when I go to give them a hug, or if my hand raises up for any reason, they don't cower in fear. I remember my dad pushing back from the table to just get up, and my body's immediately response was to run or cower. It was frightening. 

I would have preferred being yelled at. 

I think it's different for every kid. Some kids respond to a stern lecture or a raised voice. Some don't. Sometimes kids just deserve a spanking. I know I did on occasion. 

There's a big difference between spanking and abuse. One is intended to teach a lesson, the other is intended to terrorize. There's no excuse for abusing kids. 

[BunnysBastatrds 2,442]

On 10/3/2023 at 6:02 PM, GutterBoy said:

You can still beat your kids if you want to.

 You can still beat your tiny meat, it’s not right for me though. 

[BunnysBastatrds 2,442]

 My neighbor has a deaf goat, can I do this instead of beating him for shitting on my driveway?..

 

 

 

 

 

 

[League Champion 1,911]