***Official*** Geek Spermoff Draft Thread (Draft Picks Only!)

[KSB2424 3,086]

This is an 8 Person 8 Round serpentine draft. All Geeks that have ever posted here are on the Big Board and eligible for drafting. A Drafter may pick himself or another Drafter. A Geek can only be picked once in the entirety of the draft. Each drafter must choose one of each of the following positions (think about them in terms of fantasy football positions):

Point of note, obviously these positions are open to a pretty broad interpretation but try to stay within the parameters. The only time you may get dinged with a buzzer X is if the pick & position is simply way out of line. For example if somebody picked naomi in the a-hole category or sports category you will get dinged. In other words this is loosely done on the honor system so please just don't make a mockery of it.


1. Sports (geeks notorious for sports talk)
2. Politics (geeks notorious for politics)
3. Hilarity (tall tales, jokes, epic thread, just bringing the funny)
4. Asshole (infamous d-bags, raging a-holes, stupidity, politically incorrect, etc.)
5. Vagina (geekettes or geek pussies)
6. Brain (geeks you actually learn stuff from, witty, smart)
7. Heart (the nice guys or gals)
8. Flex (a second pick from any other position)


At the conclusion of the draft a pole will be constructed for the resident Geeks to vote upon and thus choose a winner. The criteria for that voting is open to interpretation. The title of this pole will be: Who drafted the best All-Time Geek Team based on these positions. And the potions above will be posted for reference.

This is the draft thread. Please post your draft picks as follows:

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1.1 KSB2424 - Vagina

<then here please insert a brief synopsis of why you picked this Geek or your reasoning or anything of the sort>
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Obviously we have drafters on the east cost - west coast - and China. So there will be some lag between picks and that is okay. With that said please try to keep up and pick at a reasonable pace to move this along. Your attention here is greatly appreciated by all.

Also Please note this is the PICK THREAD. All periphery commentary or questions should be in the Commentary thread started by Chronic Husker.

The official start time is not until today @ 1:00 pm eastern but Chronic Husker can officially be on the clock. Draft order is as follows:

1. Chronic Husker
2. edjr
3. KSB
4. shotsup
5. Sux
6. White Wonder
7. Titans
8. Voltaire

Happy Drafting!@#!

[Chronic Husker 85]

1.1 Mike FF Today

 

Heart. 90% of you should be banned by now. Linking pron? Jihads? Aliases? Flame wars? Made up Michael Jordan rumors? Abortion stories? Death pools? Racism and every other -ism on a daily basis?

 

From the time of the silverbacks, Mike (not his real name) had the choice to turn this place into Footballguys. Instead, he turned the asylum over to the rich, 12 inch schlonged, assclown inmates.

 

You're Gawd Damn right he's 1.1.

[edjr 5,643]

1.2 torridjoe (Politicking) No explanation necessary

 

 

I was going to draft MFFT this pick in my #4 spot.

 

No one puts baby in a corner

[KSB2424 3,086]

1.3 Rusty Syringes - Hilarity

 

Any Geek Club Mt.Rushmore must have Rusty. I was a long time lurker on the Geek Club even prior to posting and Rusty's threads were some of the best. A few still live in infamy today. The sharing of newspaper stories and random phone calls were epic. A consistent poster for many years who was also the spoon that stirred the Geek Club pot in its infancy and teen years. He's the George Washington or Benjamin Franklin of this place. I do not want to divulge an alias of his but needless to say he is a Mange Bored legend that continues to pop in once a year to bring the funny.

[shotsup 832]

1.4 BunnyBasrtds - Hilarity.

 

Spells his name like he is the Honey Badger. Solid first round pick and needs no other commentary. brother

[SUXBNME 1,349]

1.5 Phillybear - Hilarity

 

While some of you think is act has grown tired over the years, there is no denying the genius behind many of his rants.

Focking clouds

[WhiteWonder 2,202]

1.6 Fumbleweed - Sports

 

Contributing writer at FFTODAY, runs the June Mock No Hassle League (which must be a tireless job), long time member and commish for the superior FFTODAY interboard challenge team and his golf major preview threads are always well written and entertaining. One of the few knowedgable sports posters who doesn't act as if his opinion is the only correct opinion.

[titans&bucs&bearsohmy! 2,745]

1.7 Giants Fan - hilarity

 

How the hell is GFIAFP still around at pick seven? He is the face of this place.

[Voltaire 4,578]

1.8 Recliner Pilot - Politics

 

The jack hammering jacka$$ of right wing politics. Every political discussion for a decade involved a heavy dose of RP and his talking points direct from whatever fringe right wing sources. Any other thread he entered, having nothing to do with politics, he'd find a way to turn into a political sh*tstorm.

 

Plus he carried grudges against half the board, he's also an All Star in the a$$hole category.

[Voltaire 4,578]

2.1 edjr - Flex

The all time post king by a mile, he brings it all in all categories. He's funny, he's knowledgable, he tells stories, talks sports, talks politics to a lesser extent, got some douchiness aspects. I don't know how the buttplug story got started. He really cares deeply about this place, even though he tried to shut it down and steal all the traffic.

[titans&bucs&bearsohmy! 2,745]

2.2 Old Maid - Vagina

 

She's cool. Takes a joke. Gives em back. And if the pic on her profile is accurate, I'd hit it.

[WhiteWonder 2,202]

2.3 Drobeski - Asshole

 

Possesses mass quantities of all the traits listed under the position. could also potentially qualify for the Vagina slot and may be moved there depending on later picks,

 

 

(what a terrible make up pick after losing out on Ed)

[SUXBNME 1,349]

2.4 Kutulu - Flex

 

King of the one liners here. No question. Also used to be #1 in the most prestigious FF league here. Now, not so much

Owns quite possibly the ugliest dog here, and has for the most part, a great taste in music.

who cares who cares

[shotsup 832]

2.5 Bier Meister Brain

 

Our resident chef that hooks us up with not only recipes but different cooking techniques. He is the most informative poster in my book.

[KSB2424 3,086]

2.6 NewbieJr - Sports

 

Surprised he fell to the second round at all, let alone all the way to me. Newbie has a first round grade. The selection speaks for itself. One of the the most well known posters of all time here at the cesspool. There has been different versions of Newbie. The early famous version that was friends with most all, talked about music and sports. Then the infamous troll version who dove into politics and flame wars. But in the end Newbie shared more than anyone here, save for edjr. He ran all sorts of GTG's and other fun things on this bored. We had our own personal run in's from time to time (Tiger Woods - Barry Bonds) but welcome to the the team Newbie!

[edjr 5,643]

2.7 Suxbnme - Heart

 

 

7th in all time posts - Definitely one of the nicest people here, especially if you have a vagina (that goes for me). The Phone sex king. Great guy all around, super fun to play modern warfare with and just joke around. I'd have him on any of my teams

[vuduchile 1,941]

So this is what an actual circle jerk looks like.

[MTSkiBum 1,602]

 

At least from the circle. You are well aware of what it looks like from the middle.

I don't think they want you posting in this thread.

 

Just an fyi, trying to be helpful.

[porkbutt 866]

there should be a focking Loser position. it's so very deep up in here.

[vuduchile 1,941]

I don't think they want you posting in this thread.

 

Just an fyi, trying to be helpful.

Good call. Let's not piss off all the princesses in the homecoming court.

[drobeski 3,061]

Good call. Let's not piss off all the princesses in the homecoming court.

I can't believe I slipped into the second round.

[WhiteWonder 2,202]

I can't believe I slipped into the second round.

But you were drafted first overall at your position

[drobeski 3,061]

But you were drafted first overall at your position

[KSB2424 3,086]

Can we please keep this the DRAFT PICK ONLY thread and add any commentary from the peanut gallery in the dedicated commentary thread?

 

Thanks.

[edjr 5,643]

Take it to the closet

[drobeski 3,061]

Can we please keep this the DRAFT PICK ONLY thread and add any commendatory from the peanut gallery in the dedicated commentary thread?

 

Thanks.

oops, ok

[MTSkiBum 1,602]

Can we please keep this the DRAFT PICK ONLY thread and add any commentary from the peanut gallery in the dedicated commentary thread?

 

Thanks.

I tried to tell them. They didn't listen.

[BunnysBastatrds 1,941]

1.4 BunnyBasrtds - Hilarity.

 

Spells his name like he is the Honey Badger. Solid first round pick and needs no other commentary. brother

[WhiteWonder 2,202]

Can we please keep this the DRAFT PICK ONLY thread and add any commentary from the peanut gallery in the dedicated commentary thread?

 

Thanks.

oh you took newbie i thought you were the 1 slot... mah bad!

[edjr 5,643]

Next non pick posted in this thread and I'll quit

[vuduchile 1,941]

Next non pick posted in this thread and I'll quit

You might as well just say "I double dog dare you to post in here again."

[Chronic Husker 85]

2.8 Brain - Naomi

 

More (quality) posts than any female in geek club history. Can't believe she's still available. This is like getting Gronk at the turn.

 

You focking clowns criticize her for posting novellas. That's because the lot of you are ruhtard plumbers and IT guys with 4th grade educations and her posts are generally over your collective pinhead brains.

 

She also took my advice and finally got an SSN after years of prodding. That part is huge. She's willing to learn and improve.

 

Also, you assclowns should prolly not send her any more cack pics. You know who you are, you focking pervs.

[Chronic Husker 85]

3.1 Vajayjay - TNG

 

She knows why. And no, I won't expand.

 

This is a scarcity pick. I have Gronk and Olsen to go with the top pick. Y'all can fight over the Martellus Bennetts and Owen Daniels in the vajayjay category.

 

It's already over.

 

And vudu, knock it off. Very unbecoming of you.

[edjr 5,643]

3.2 Recidivist (Hilarity)

 

 

Dude was the funniest bastard on this board. His stories were absolute classics.

 

Here is one of them,

 

http://www.fftodayforums.com/forum/index.php?showtopic=360970&p=4166128

 

 

 

Earlier tonite I got home from my AA meeting and was eating dinner when the phone rang. It was my buddy Dr. Jay Hemmingway (he's not a doctor of course, but he usually has something for whatever might be ailing you). I've known him all of my adult-life from playing hoops and scoring dope. He's an all-around great guy and one of my best friends.

Anyway, he was in a financial bind a few weeks back and I lent him $3k. He re-paid me in full a few days later, but has been trying to go the extra mile to show his gratitude. When I loaned him money in the past, in addtion to re-paying me, he would typically throw some free drugs my way. But now that I'm clean (something he respects), he's been trying to do something else special to say thinks.

So tonite, he calls and says he's coming by with his friend Erica. I hadn't met her previously, but I had seen pictures. The good Dr. has been banging her for a couple of months and says that he's going to drop her off at my place for a few hours and that I have carte blanche to do whatever I want with her. He told me she has seen pics of me and that she is hot for me

I was not the slightest bit interested as I know this chick has focked on film, strips, and has probably turned tricks. That, combined with the fact that the Dr. had probably probed all of her orfices in the last 24 hours, turned me off. Despite my telling the Dr. this, they still came over.

This chick was perhaps the dumbest person I have ever met in my life. Her total ignorance was magnified by the fact she and the Dr. were doing blow (I didn't partake). Listening to someone coke babble is bad enough; listening to a stupid person coke babble is exponentially worse.

Fortunately, they left a little while ago and I am most satisfied with my decision.

Here she is (NSFW): http://bangbros.com/...s?m=Erica-Deen1

[KSB2424 3,086]

3.3 GutterBoy - Asshole

 

When I thought about the positions for this draft, and saw the a-hole category, the very first person that came to mind was Gutter. He's the O.G. a-hole. This place would not be as un-PC as it is today without him. The Geek Club would just be another FBG's full of cyber hugs and being respectful of one another. Gutterboy is the Jim Brown of this category. Yes, an Emmitt Smith (drobeski) may have played longer, and hold the records, but we all know who was the greatest a-hole of all time. Plus he was fodder for jokes against him for his lack of height. The Gutter riding a cat picture is part of Geek Club lore. And the untold secret is that the guy was pretty smart and very witty which made his assholiness a thing of beauty. I'm thrilled about him falling to me in the 3rd Round.

 

:spikesfootball: :pointstoscoreboard:

[shotsup 832]

3.4 Stop Talking Cheerleader Vagina

 

I am going to kept the party bus rolling (Thanks BM) and go with STC here because boobs.

That pic of her in her fireman jacket

Even though there are other vaginas (and foreheads) still on the board I'm rolling with STC to keep the party going.

[SUXBNME 1,349]

3.5 Jerryskids Brain

 

MIT graduate, very knowledgeable in political discussions, monetary discussions, and as an added bonus, he finger banged TNG at their geek meat !@#

[WhiteWonder 2,202]

3.6 Medstudent - hilarity

 

I went on hiatus for a while so I have no clue if he ever attempted to explain but I havnt seen anything funnier than his elaborate Web of Cam girl "nurses" being exposed and his subsequent vanishing act. No one puts that much time into cat fishing the older geeks over at edjrs closet and clearly he failed epicly at trying to be cool. Hilarity at its finest!

[titans&bucs&bearsohmy! 2,745]

3.7 - Wiffleball - ass hole

 

Don't get me wrong. I like wiff a lot. His occasional drunken bed sh!ttings are hilarious. And the thread where he and Old Maid battled the ugly muppet (Nikki) is one of the best threads in years. Unlike many of the ass holes here, at least when wiff goes full retard, it's funny as Fock.

[Voltaire 4,578]

:pointstosky: :pointstosky:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

3.8 gocolts - Heart

 

So happy he fell. One of my very favorite posters. High volume, good stories. GOTY a few years back. Since Sux took jerry, I've acknowledged to you guys how much I wanted jerry to drop. Well, I'm on a corner and think in twos and wanted another as well. Gary was the other one I wanted badly to fall and -whoop- there he is.

 

I tell people how much coming to China has changed my life, lifted my depression, there is no other person I would want to join me over here than this guy, not even my family. He certainly knows he's invited.

 

All around nice guy beloved by all both here and real life. Traps and releases animals, like in his opossum story. He'd never harm one. Then there was the time he went missing for a couple of weeks, turned out he was in the hospital. But he wasn't hospitalized, his friend was. He stayed by her bedside reminiscent of how Rocky did with Adrian in the first movie. Single dad doing the best he can dealing with a disability and limited financial means.

 

 

Even when he gets in an angry p*ssing match with another poster -like he is right now in another thread with KSB- it's remarkable how civil and nice he keeps it.

 

Welcome Gary!