I ran out of gas in the middle of the ghetto last night

[Chronic Husker 85]

About halfway home from work, my car died. I keep close track of my mileage and figured I had 15 miles left in the tank. I was wrong. In the wrong place.

 

I sat in my car for a couple minutes and tried calling 30FBT (who got off work about 20 minutes before me). No answer. Called him 5 more times. No answer. Called stc and told her to call him because he'll take her calls. She calls me back. No answer.

 

So, I'm two miles from the nearest gas station and I'm seriously the only white dude in the neighborhood. Three teenagers walk past my car while I'm sitting in it and one of the kids actually circles my car with me sitting in it. I thought I was gonna get jumped right then and there. Didn't happen, though. The kids kept walking wherever they were going.

 

I take off my salmon dress shirt and throw on a t-shirt I had in the back seat, grab my gas can and start walking.

 

Not more than four blocks into my trip, a huge $30k Toyota pickup pulls next to me. With a Hispanic construction worker driving.

 

"Hey man. Out of gas? I'll give you a ride."

 

At that point I had to decide. Take my chances walking through the ghetto for two miles or get in a truck with a Mexican I've never met.

 

So I got in the truck. The guy starts telling me about his five kids in California and his hour long commute to his construction job. I tell him I'll give him some cash for giving me a ride and he turns me down. He pulls up next to the pump and I tell him thanks. He waits for me to fill my tank.

 

Without saying a word, I hop back in the truck and he drives me back. We talk more about work and family (he cheated on his wife and she left him). Then he shows me a picture of his 25 year old daughter and tells me she bought him his truck. While he's driving, he reaches in the glove box and pulls out a picture of his other daughter. "She bought me my other truck. It's nicer than this one."

 

At this point, I have to ask. "What do your daughters do in Cali that they can buy you trucks?"

 

"Oh, they won the California lottery a couple years ago."

 

"Cool. How much did they win?"

 

"125......................

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

million."

 

 

At this point, we come to a stop sign and the three teenagers that were scoping my car are at the intersection. They motion to the guy giving me a ride.

 

He asks them what they have.

 

"A vacuum cleaner and a microwave."

 

He says OK and keeps driving. Then he tells me "I wonder where they stole that stuff. I once bought two Magnums and a shotgun from them for $20."

 

We get back to my car and amazingly it wasn't broken into. I thank him again and we parted ways.

[D'ohmer Simpson 0]

Wasn't that nice. The three guys that walked past you called this other guy to pick you up and offer assistance. The three other guys probably also kept a watch on your car, just in case.

[cinciman7 2]

And they lived happily ever after

[cday 0]

i'm more concerned about your sig quote. fastfish actually said that? wow.

[heavy-set 39]

iam sure several negros would have helped

 

 

helped you fill out the required paperwork to mooch of the government

helped you to learn how to cut cocaine

helped you into your grave

[GutterBoy 2,281]

Your car stood a better chance than a foos ball table.

[TheNewGirl 1,039]

Good thing you removed the PINK shirt before looking for a ride.

 

 

 

Ghey.

[Recidivist 1]

No one rides for free . . . you left out the part about what you gave up in return: ass, gas or grass?

[kilroy69 1,002]

"I once bought two Magnums and a shotgun from them for $20."

 

 

 

Nows thats a steal.

[Mungwater 588]

No one rides for free . . . you left out the part about what you gave up in return: ass, gas or grass?

 

He follows the Book, like George Carlin in Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back

[Rusty Syringes 478]

salmon dress shirt

 

[Chronic Husker 85]

Good thing you removed the PINK shirt before looking for a ride.

Ghey.

I knew you guys would like that one. I figured Buffington would be the first to slam me, though.

 

Actually it's salmon, not pink.  I wore the pink one on Friday.

[Artist Formerly Known as Big O 0]

iam sure several negros would have helped

helped you fill out the required paperwork to mooch of the government

helped you to learn how to cut cocaine

helped you into your grave

 

[edjr 5,587]

CHIAFP

[GutterBoy 2,281]

iam sure several negros would have helped

helped you fill out the required paperwork to mooch of the government

helped you to learn how to cut cocaine

helped you into your grave

 

exactly, this is all black people do. Solid point.

[frank 2,152]

I keep close track of my mileage and figured I had 15 miles left in the tank.

 

 

I just look at the gas gauge.

[stop talking cheerleader 0]

Is that why you kept calling The walk wouldn't have killed ya, my lord, your like three times the size as the ghetto guys, you know they can't afford food I had him call you when I got home...guess your mouth was full of something cause you didn't pick up

[phillybear 364]

I am impressed how your brain has already blocked out any whiff of an image of how a Mexican and 3 black guys pulled a train on your flabby ass.

[parrot 789]

That must be one serious piece of sh!t car if the ghetto punks won't bother with it.

[Chronic Husker 85]

That must be one serious piece of sh!t car if the ghetto punks won't bother with it.

[heavy-set 39]

 

fixed

[gocolts 300]

i'm more concerned about your sig quote. fastfish actually said that? wow.

 

Why.......It's true.

[wiffleball 4,650]

See, I didn't even know salmon WORE dress shirts. Do they have little fish pants too?

[parrot 789]

See, I didn't even know salmon WORE dress shirts. Do they have little fish pants too?

[D'ohmer Simpson 0]

I just look at the gas gauge.