Ever get a stickler for a car inspection?

[Rusty Syringes 478]

For most car inspections I've had, they honk the horn, flick a few switches, take it for a roll around the block, kick the tire, put on a new sticker and send me on my way.

 

I've had others who did far less than that.

 

But today, I got Mr. Stickler.

 

I took my car to one of those quick-lube places to have it done, and while I was waiting in line, I watched the guy and could tell by his mannerisms that he was the kind of guy who prided himself on not letting cars pass inspection over some minute detail.

 

He was a spit-and-polish, ubber clean-cut supergoober who methodically went about his business with near military precision.

 

The first thing he did was pinch the end of my windshield wipers. A pinch revealed that 0.000001 inches of the rubber part of the wiper had separated from the metal.

 

He quickly scampered over to my window to tell me the news.

 

"You want me to replace your wipers sir?" he said.

"No, I'll just get 'em at Wal Mart" I said.

"Well, I charge you $12.50 regardless of whether this car passes inspection, sir. I cannot and will not pass this car unless this wiper is replaced. No sir. I have a duty to the state and have certain codes to abide by." he said.

 

Seeing as the replacement wipers were only $8, I gave him a nod and a to go ahead with it.

 

So I sit in the waiting room and watched this guy. He inspected each and every square inch of the car, even testing each and every door handle. Then he opened the hood and left no hose unpinched and no wire inspected.

 

While it was entertaining, I needed to get on with my life. It took me like 30 minutes just to get the hell out of there.

 

[GobbleDog 816]

Being from a state that quit regulating car inspections 30 years ago (Florida), I'm confused.

 

Your state inspection dude works at the local quick lube place?

[SUXBNME 1,340]

He probably saved your life. You should be more grateful next time

 

Also, move out of whatever dumbass state you currently live in that requires this crap

[Recidivist 1]

Being from a state that quit regulating car inspections 30 years ago (Florida), I'm confused.

 

 

 

Except they briefly brought back the emissions portion of the inspection during the 90s. Once JEB got elected, they scrapped that BS too.

[Cdub100 3,384]

Good old TexASS! Too many dirty mexicans like yourself driving around in a POS!!!

[edjr 5,567]

Did that bastard ask you for a thumbprint?

[davebg 0]

Being from a state that quit regulating car inspections 30 years ago (Florida), I'm confused.

 

Your state inspection dude works at the local quick lube place?

In NJ many quick lube/repair shops and gas stations are certified to conduct auto inspections. It makes things much more convenient when you can drop your car off at the place across the street and pick it up at lunch or after work than wasting your time at the DMV.

 

Of course, NJ recently changed the law where new leased vehicles don't need to be inspected or get new registration for the duration of the three year lease.

[GobbleDog 816]

In NJ many quick lube/repair shops and gas stations are certified to conduct auto inspections. It makes things much more convenient when you can drop your car off at the place across the street and pick it up at lunch or after work than wasting your time at the DMV.

That makes sense. Mechanics are honest people.

[Rusty Syringes 478]

Good old TexASS! Too many dirty mexicans like yourself driving around in a POS!!!

 

 

We don't let a bunch of Schlitz-drinking Yoopers run around in their rusted, beat-up El Caminos and filthy up the place, environmentally, socially and hygienically.

 

[Strike 3,980]

When I was younger I drove a lowered mini truck. The u-bolts we used when lowered it extended below the legal limit and I got a fix it ticket. Easy enough to fix so boom, cut the ubolts down a little and legal. Go the CHP to get the ticket signed off and the dude walks up to the truck and says to raise the windows. Do that and he says they're tinted and that's illegal. I'm like, "the ticket is for being too low" and he's like "Well I'm not going to sign off on that if you've got something else illegal on the truck". GRRR. So, go home and pull the tint off. Go back to CHP the next day and it's a different dude who didn't even check the windows. Still grinds my gears to this day

[D_House 0]

The focking Maryland state inspection is excruciating. They look at every goddam thing. The ridiculous thing is you only have to do this once for the life of the car.

[kozmiq 70]

In Virginia, they take the $ 12 up front before anything is done. Then they scrape off your current ispection sticker even if it's got more time left on it. AND they are NOT allowed to do any work on the vehicle during the inspection that costs $. Must be done later outside that bay.

 

I had a buddy who was an inspector and he said that the state would send in their employees occasionally with a minor infraction just to see if the place let things slide. If so, they lost their inspection license and were fined quite heavily. Maybe that's what had happened with your place.

 

But I'm sure I got all this wrong - Patriotsfatboy will be by soon to correct all my inaccuracies and accuse me of being Clinton Portis' sister.

[Rusty Syringes 478]

My future ex-wife back in the early 1990s had this POS Ford Thunderbird that would smoke up the entire neighborhood when it started up in the morning. The engine sounded like one of those Sopwith Camels from World War I.

 

It had about 10 really, really obvious things that doomed its ability to get inspected.

 

I didn't know this when I rumbled into this Exxon station and had the joy of having another superstickler inspect the car.

 

He was acting way too self-important about his job, and when he took my money and gave the car an F, I told him to go fock himself.

 

So I drove over to the seedy part of town to some raggedy-ass POS service station and paid what was most likely an undocumented worker $20 to an inspection.

 

He honked the horn once and slapped that new sticker right on there.

 

Then I drove slowly past the Exxon station, pointed to the sticker and honked as Superinspector stood there slack-jawed.

 

[Rybo5 0]

I HAVE NO CONFIDENCE IN THIS GASKET!!!!

[Patriotsfatboy1 1,432]

In Virginia, they take the $ 12 up front before anything is done. Then they scrape off your current ispection sticker even if it's got more time left on it. AND they are NOT allowed to do any work on the vehicle during the inspection that costs $. Must be done later outside that bay.

 

I had a buddy who was an inspector and he said that the state would send in their employees occasionally with a minor infraction just to see if the place let things slide. If so, they lost their inspection license and were fined quite heavily. Maybe that's what had happened with your place.

 

But I'm sure I got all this wrong - Patriotsfatboy will be by soon to correct all my inaccuracies and accuse me of being Clinton Portis' sister.

Well, you know there, Mr. Alias, I think that for once in your life, you are probably not lying. You may very well be Clinton Portis' sister.

[kozmiq 70]

Well, you know there, Mr. Alias, I think that for once in your life, you are probably not lying. You may very well be Clinton Portis' sister.

 

 

Okay. Now we are getting somewhere.

 

 

Mr. Alias, huh? I kinda like that.

 

 

But who else am I?

Make it somebody good, okay.

Then that'll be me when they post from now on.

[Patriotsfatboy1 1,432]

Okay. Now we are getting somewhere.

Mr. Alias, huh? I kinda like that.

But who else am I?

Make it somebody good, okay.

Then that'll be me when they post from now on.

 

How about Siouxsie?

[kozmiq 70]

How about Siouxsie?

 

 

But her IP is Florida, mine is Virginia.

[Patriotsfatboy1 1,432]

But her IP is Florida, mine is Virginia.

Really? Exactly how are you going to prove that to me?

[kozmiq 70]

Really? Exactly how are you going to prove that to me?

 

 

I thought you computer geniuses could get that kind of stuff. Don't tell me YOU can't.

I mean all this time ..............I thought .......................

[Patriotsfatboy1 1,432]

I thought you computer geniuses could get that kind of stuff. Don't tell me YOU can't.

I mean all this time ..............I thought .......................

 

I know that YOU know better than that

[kozmiq 70]

I know that YOU know better than that

 

I'll take that as a compliment but truthfully I don't know sh!t.

 

Let me ask you this, you saw Suzanne singing on the live webcast last year didn't you?

Do you think THAT'S me?

Cause that's pretty cool.

[Recidivist 1]

When I was younger I drove a lowered mini truck.

 

[Strike 3,980]

 

It was sweet. Bright red, targa top, boomin' stereo

[Patriotsfatboy1 1,432]

I'll take that as a compliment but truthfully I don't know sh!t.

 

Let me ask you this, you saw Suzanne singing on the live webcast last year didn't you?

Do you think THAT'S me?

Cause that's pretty cool.

I have not watched anyone sing on a webcast. Ever. Even if I had seen someone sing on a webcast, what makes you think that I would believe that she is "Siouxsie" on this bored?

[kozmiq 70]

I have not watched anyone sing on a webcast. Ever. Even if I had seen someone sing on a webcast, what makes you think that I would believe that she is "Siouxsie" on this bored?

 

 

I don't know. Maybe because she gave shouts out to Mike and the Geek Club. Grateful Ted and several others saw and heard her. The last I saw her she mentioned NewbieJr.

 

Plus, Barbara Maxwell told me she (somehow) became a member of the Sanctuary Zone and that people were discussing it there.

But just like vuduchile, if you have your mind made up, fine.

 

I was only saying if you think I'm pulling that duo off, that I take it as a compliment.

 

See ya 'round.

[Toro 1]

It was sweet. Bright red, targa top, boomin' stereo

 

I had a mazda B2000 that had a beer tap for the shift.

[Cdub100 3,384]

We don't let a bunch of Schlitz-drinking Yoopers run around in their rusted, beat-up El Caminos and filthy up the place, environmentally, socially and hygienically.

 

 

Why don't you just hug a tree

[Rusty Syringes 478]

Why don't you just hug a tree

 

It only took almost 20 hours to come up with that snappy comeback.

 

God, you're good.

 

[Cdub100 3,384]

It only took almost 20 hours to come up with that snappy comeback.

 

God, you're good.

 

 

I thought of it this morning on my way to work

[hellothere 1]

I HAVE NO CONFIDENCE IN THIS GASKET!!!!

 

 

 

I don't know why this made me laugh so hard