Would you boycott your daughter's wedding

[cortezthekiller303 0]

So are we going to get a can size on this ###### or what? Fock, the Geeks are slipping. How can you even give an honest opinion of what this fvcker should do until you see what his daughter is packing?

[DuckStupid 40]

The hate probably stems from the incestial child abuse. You sick fock.

[GettnHuge 1]

Don't listen to these people. They're the same ones who would let themselves get walked all over by a family member,

friend, co-worker, etc yet still take the 'high road' and allow themselves to continue being pushed around because they think

it's the right thing to do. Instead they should stand up for themselves.

[KSB2424 3,087]

Don't listen to these people. They're the same ones who would let themselves get walked all over by a family member,

friend, co-worker, etc yet still take the 'high road' and allow themselves to continue being pushed around because they think

it's the right thing to do. Instead they should stand up for themselves.

The "easy" thing to do is get all huffy puffy, cuss somebody out, and never talk to them again. Yeah, that takes a real man! The really hard thing to do is forgive (not forget), take the high road, and set a good example. This does not have to include being a sucker and falling for the same old tricks that the people walking over you try to do. As Buddha said: Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned.

[Let Da Big Dog Eat 38]

Got an Invitation in the mail today. Fanciest invitation I have ever seen. Also, an e-mail asking if I would drive to Madison and take her to dinner. Even the envelope was done by in calligraphy. On the invite she is listed as the daughter of her step-father. Nice move. Guess that clears up who is walking her down the aisle. The rehearsal dinner is aboard a dinner ship while cruising around on a lake.

[GettnHuge 1]

Got an Invitation in the mail today. Fanciest invitation I have ever seen. Also, an e-mail asking if I would drive to Madison and take her to dinner. Even the envelope was done by in calligraphy. On the invite she is listed as the daughter of her step-father. Nice move. Guess that clears up who is walking her down the aisle. The rehearsal dinner is aboard a dinner ship while cruising around on a lake.

 

Sounds like she found out just what bait would make you bite. Hope you don't mind writing her a big check because that is what you're

being buttered up for. You are the guest, they should be taking you out to dinner. If that's how it was sent to you, then the mentality is

the same. Be nice to pops for a week and get paid.

[Sparkling Wiggles 0]

Got an Invitation in the mail today. Fanciest invitation I have ever seen. Also, an e-mail asking if I would drive to Madison and take her to dinner. Even the envelope was done by in calligraphy. On the invite she is listed as the daughter of her step-father. Nice move. Guess that clears up who is walking her down the aisle. The rehearsal dinner is aboard a dinner ship while cruising around on a lake.

Well, she obviously wants you to be involved by asking you to take her to the dinner. I'm sure her mother views it as her own wedding as much as her daughter's and probably insisted on the step-dad thing. If I were you, I would give her a ride and go to the rehearsal as uncomfortable as it may be. Then, continue with said plan of showing up and putting in an appearance before bolting. Otherwise, you'll end up being the one looking like the douche.

 

Be careful, though. The ride to the dinner could be the set-up for her to ask you for big $$$$.

 

ETA I would refuse to pay for the dinner. Tell her the man giving her away can pay for the dinner.

[Brown Eyed Girl 1]

Got an Invitation in the mail today. Fanciest invitation I have ever seen. Also, an e-mail asking if I would drive to Madison and take her to dinner. Even the envelope was done by in calligraphy. On the invite she is listed as the daughter of her step-father. Nice move. Guess that clears up who is walking her down the aisle. The rehearsal dinner is aboard a dinner ship while cruising around on a lake.

 

My stepdad raised me from the age of 5 on and he was/has been there throughout my life. He is the man I consider to be my dad. I still talk with my real dad, I show respect for him and we go out to lunch occasionally together. But he seems to expect to just pick up where he left off with things so many years ago with me and my sis. Now, I don't hold any grudges against him for him leaving my mom, my sister and I shortly after I was born, but when he tries to pick up where he left off in the 'dad' department - there is no place for him there for me. He wasn't the man who was around through all of those tough years. It's almost like he skipped out on the hard part - the stuff that really mattered, let another man raise us, and now that we're grown, he suddenly wants to reclaim his place as our dad. I don't have those feelings for him because I just don't know him that way.

 

Not sure if you were there or not throughout your daughters life, but if you weren't and her stepfather was.. I can understand her wanting him to give her away. If you were the guy who was there all along the way, then I don't understand her stance on this.

 

Either way, good luck with everything. Hope you two can work out your differences.

 

ETA: BTW, given the circumstances, you are not responsible to pay for any part of this wedding.

[peenie 1,703]

They're the same ones who would let themselves get walked all over by a family member,

friend, co-worker, etc yet still take the 'high road' and allow themselves to continue being pushed around because they think

it's the right thing to do.

but these are his children, not friends or coworkers.

looks like we were right anyway.

 

also, if you don't want to give your children money then don't.

that is ridiculous you constantly shelling out money like that.

one shouldn't give unless they want to, otherwise you shouldn't be feeling bad about it, it was your choice.

[Let Da Big Dog Eat 38]

Not sure if you were there or not throughout your daughters life, but if you weren't and her stepfather was.. I can understand her wanting him to give her away. If you were the guy who was there all along the way, then I don't understand her stance on this.

 

ETA: BTW, given the circumstances, you are not responsible to pay for any part of this wedding.

 

I left her mother right before my daughter's 18th B'day.

 

I know I am being set up for a big payday. I am focked no matter what I do. If I don't go, I may never have another chance with her. If I do go, she'll expect big $. If I don't roll out the checkbook, she will likely blow me off. If I do break out the checkbook there is no guarantee things will be any better the day after the wedding as they have been the last few years. I am so focked!

[TheNewGirl 1,089]

I left her mother right before my daughter's 18th B'day.

 

I know I am being set up for a big payday. I am focked no matter what I do. If I don't go, I may never have another chance with her. If I do go, she'll expect big $. If I don't roll out the checkbook, she will likely blow me off. If I do break out the checkbook there is no guarantee things will be any better the day after the wedding as they have been the last few years. I am so focked!

 

 

If she expects money, then you shouldn't give it to her.

 

I think it's odd that you keep placing blame on the mother, when you were around until she was 18. You raised her to be this way, not JUST her mom.

[Let Da Big Dog Eat 38]

If she expects money, then you shouldn't give it to her.

 

I think it's odd that you keep placing blame on the mother, when you were around until she was 18. You raised her to be this way, not JUST her mom.

 

It WAS her Mom. She spoiled her rotten. Every time daughter was punished, I had to meet it out (usually grounding). Whatever the punishment was her mom would rescind it within 24 hours. Also, any time I said she couldn't go somewhere, she would cry to mom and end up going. This was part of why I left her mom.

[TheNewGirl 1,089]

It WAS her Mom. She spoiled her rotten. Every time daughter was punished, I had to meet it out (usually grounding). Whatever the punishment was her mom would rescind it within 24 hours. Also, any time I said she couldn't go somewhere, she would cry to mom and end up going. This was part of why I left her mom.

 

 

But you just keep forking over $$$. That spoils a child just as much. She expects the checkbook to be whipped out because that's what you've always done.

 

Throw her for a loop, don't give her any more $$$, esp if you aren't walking her down the aisle, and if you aren't mentioned on the invites. That will be a shock to her. JMO.

[Brown Eyed Girl 1]

I left her mother right before my daughter's 18th B'day.

 

I know I am being set up for a big payday. I am focked no matter what I do. If I don't go, I may never have another chance with her. If I do go, she'll expect big $. If I don't roll out the checkbook, she will likely blow me off. If I do break out the checkbook there is no guarantee things will be any better the day after the wedding as they have been the last few years. I am so focked!

 

Well, if things are going to be the way you describe here, then you know in your heart exactly where you stand with her. The only effort you need to exert at this point is for yourself... to know in your heart that you've done what you believe to be right for you. Go to the wedding (if that is what you want to do), keep your money in your pocket, wish them well and be done with it.

 

If she wants to seek a further relationship with you from that point on, then she knows how to reach you. If her intentions of having you at the wedding were as you think and only for you to foot the bill for some part of it, then she will be sadly surprised to find that you will not be contributing to that assumption/wish of hers. If she truly cares about having you there, that will also show in her actions after the event has passed.

 

You've done your part as a parent - your daughter is grown and making her own decisions now. She'll do what she thinks is right for her and unfortunately, I don't think there's anything you can do to change that one way or the other.

[Bert 1,115]

My view: Don't give her any cash but do go to the wedding. If she doesn't want a relationship with you that doesn't involve money then cut her loose. Most people here are all, “family is so important” bla, bla, bla.......bullshat. Your situation is the very reason I say judge people by their friends, not their family, because they get to choose their friends.

[avoiding injuries 1,238]

Why not get her something really nice off the registry. It's something that they picked out and probably won't cost you an arm and a leg. She'll look like an even bigger greedy ###### if she complains about getting a gift instead of cash.

 

Make sure your call girl is available for both the rehersal dinner and wedding.

[GettnHuge 1]

I left her mother right before my daughter's 18th B'day.

 

I know I am being set up for a big payday. I am focked no matter what I do. If I don't go, I may never have another chance with her. If I do go, she'll expect big $. If I don't roll out the checkbook, she will likely blow me off. If I do break out the checkbook there is no guarantee things will be any better the day after the wedding as they have been the last few years. I am so focked!

 

You can always stand up for yourself. The advice these morons are giving now is ridiculous. Go to the wedding, but don't write her a big

check. How about this? How about I stand you on a cliff with your toes off the edge on a windy day and say: don't fall off! It's pathetic.

You are already giving in by going there. These goofs keep giving you quotes about anger and forgiveness...how about a fool and his

money are soon parted?

[Franknbeans 46]

You can always stand up for yourself. The advice these morons are giving now is ridiculous. Go to the wedding, but don't write her a big

check. How about this? How about I stand you on a cliff with your toes off the edge on a windy day and say: don't fall off! It's pathetic.

You are already giving in by going there. These goofs keep giving you quotes about anger and forgiveness...how about a fool and his

money are soon parted?

spoken like a man without a daughter

[peenie 1,703]

here is my wedding gift rec:

click play inside

[Let Da Big Dog Eat 38]

spoken like a man without a daughter

 

True Dat!

 

I am really smelling rat now. Just looked at the invite more closely. The wedding is 9-1. Original e-mail came Friday. It says "Nicole X

Daughter of Step Dad and Mom

And Da Big Dog"

 

I think it's different from what everyone else got. I don't think my name was on any other invites. Why would she not even tell me about the wedding until 2 weeks before and then put my name on the invites when she obviously had an 11th hour "epiphany?" I am going to check this out later tonight and if I find out that mine is the only invite with my name on it, I will know that it's just a "dash for cash" and tell her I am moving that weekend and can't attend. Last, why would she put my name on it if I am not walking her down the aisle? This stinks.

 

Don't give me any crap about her "personalizing" it for me.  The only reason this would have been done is to try to make me feel responsible for expenses.

 

God, I hate this. I wish she hadn't invited me and just called me after she had a kid, asked for nothing and seen the light.

[Mephisto 15]

Hunnert.

 

I think you're being played BD.

[Mephisto 15]

I left her mother right before my daughter's 18th B'day.

 

I know I am being set up for a big payday. I am focked no matter what I do. If I don't go, I may never have another chance with her. If I do go, she'll expect big $. If I don't roll out the checkbook, she will likely blow me off. If I do break out the checkbook there is no guarantee things will be any better the day after the wedding as they have been the last few years. I am so focked!

 

Which is why I say go... and don't roll out the checkbook.

[Let Da Big Dog Eat 38]

Which is why I say go... and don't roll out the checkbook.

 

I will know what I am going to do later tonight. I am going to call my son and act like I haven't seen the invite yet. If his invite doesn't have my name on it, then the answer is going to be "have a nice wedding and a nice life. If you ever want to quit playing games, give me a call." If my name is on it, I will go And, the checkbook is staying at home. If anything is said to me, my response will be "I was invited as a guest not as your father walking you down the aisle. If you want some virtual stranger to walk you down the aisle, then he's the one who should pull out the checkbook."

[Sparkling Wiggles 0]

I will know what I am going to do later tonight. I am going to call my son and act like I haven't seen the invite yet. If his invite doesn't have my name on it, then the answer is going to be "have a nice wedding and a nice life. If you ever want to quit playing games, give me a call." If my name is on it, I will go And, the checkbook is staying at home. If anything is said to me, my response will be "I was invited as a guest not as your father walking you down the aisle. If you want some virtual stranger to walk you down the aisle, then he's the one who should pull out the checkbook."

Call your son. I wanna know! I practically have a chub I'm anticipating this so much!

 

Also, what if she included your name on your son's invite and others close to you?

[Let Da Big Dog Eat 38]

Call your son. I wanna know! I practically have a chub I'm anticipating this so much!

 

Also, what if she included your name on your son's invite and others close to you?

 

Couldn't be. She knows my son and I are close and she would get caught. Plus, his invite would have gone out weeks ago. I will know in about 1/2 hour. She knows he would have called me and asked me if things were better with her and expressed his happiness that things were better.

 

There is no way that my name is on all invites. Her mother would have a fit and there would be so many questions about where that guy with the same last name is at the reception.

 

She's smart, but not this smart.

[donhaas 18]

Also, an e-mail asking if I would drive to Madison and take her to dinner.

 

 

I will talk to her for you

 

 

I don't like the way she has treated you, LDBDE

[Let Da Big Dog Eat 38]

My name is on my son's invite! I am shocked. Now I am wondering if she didn't want to invite me all along but didn't due to her mother. But, then why wouldn't she talk to me in June at my son's wedding? Going to have to meet her for dinner and get some focking answers. This thing just gets cloudier instead of clearing up.

 

My son knew I going to be invited..........

 

I am going to go. I am blowing off the rehearsal dinner. I will likely leave the reception early to avoid any confrontations. The present will be a couple of $100 bills.

[GettnHuge 1]

she's getting married on 9-1? Why didn't you say so in the 1st place? This answers all questions.

Ohio state and michigan are in actionon 9-1, as are BC vs. wake forest, ND vs. georgia tech, and tennessee vs. Cal.

The wedding must be rescheduled, if not, Big Dawg ain't even gotta ask us to go or not. You will be asked to

pay for everything as her supposed future husband is obviously a pathetic loser who would actually let

a woman do this to him. Obscene. She hasn't changed.

[Sparkling Wiggles 0]

My name is on my son's invite! I am shocked. Now I am wondering if she didn't want to invite me all along but didn't due to her mother. But, then why wouldn't she talk to me in June at my son's wedding? Going to have to meet her for dinner and get some focking answers. This thing just gets cloudier instead of clearing up.

 

My son knew I going to be invited..........

 

I am going to go. I am blowing off the rehearsal dinner. I will likely leave the reception early to avoid any confrontations. The present will be a couple of $100 bills.

 

Although, she may uninvite you from the wedding if she finds out you're not going to the rehearsal, which she probably expects you to pay for.

[avoiding injuries 1,238]

she's getting married on 9-1? Why didn't you say so in the 1st place? This answers all questions.

Ohio state and michigan are in actionon 9-1, as are BC vs. wake forest, ND vs. georgia tech, and tennessee vs. Cal.

The wedding must be rescheduled, if not, Big Dawg ain't even gotta ask us to go or not. You will be asked to

pay for everything as her supposed future husband is obviously a pathetic loser who would actually let

a woman do this to him. Obscene. She hasn't changed.

Could have been planned before the schedule came out. Now if you had said that they were having it during football season period, there is no excuse.

[jerryskids 5,446]

she's getting married on 9-1? Why didn't you say so in the 1st place? This answers all questions.

Ohio state and michigan are in actionon 9-1, as are BC vs. wake forest, ND vs. georgia tech, and tennessee vs. Cal.

The wedding must be rescheduled, if not, Big Dawg ain't even gotta ask us to go or not. You will be asked to

pay for everything as her supposed future husband is obviously a pathetic loser who would actually let

a woman do this to him. Obscene. She hasn't changed.

My wife went to Michigan, and her family is obsessive about Wolverine football. We got married on Michigan/MSU game day. Her mom gave us shiot about it. But as I pointed out to her, any weekend in a 3-month window was Michigan/______ weekend.

 

Oh, and Dog, I didn't follow the name on the invitation thing, but I'm glad to hear that you are going. Take the high road but leave the checkbook, that is your path to doing right.

[GettnHuge 1]

Could have been planned before the schedule came out. Now if you had said that they were having it during football season period, there is no excuse.

 

nope no excuse at all. any weekend in sept is football. college games are set years in advance. I've got a fantasy football draft

on that day which was planned probably before her ugly wedding was.

[Let Da Big Dog Eat 38]

 

Although, she may uninvite you from the wedding if she finds out you're not going to the rehearsal, which she probably expects you to pay for.

 

That's going to be a BIG bill. 6 (each) bridesmaids and groomsmen on a focking yacht. And, that's one of the reasons that I am blowing it off. I expect that bill alone to be +1K. If I blow that one off and leave shortly after dinner at reception, I can avoid all confrontations. The reception will be +10K. Going to tell her that movers are coming Friday so I can't be there. I will say I have to leave Sunday so need to get back to Milw Sat night. But, she won't know that until I am leaving the reception and there is no time for her or her mother to start any sh!t.

 

If she disinvites me, fine.  I will know why I was invited.

[Sparkling Wiggles 0]

That's going to be a BIG bill. 6 (each) bridesmaids and groomsmen on a focking yacht. And, that's one of the reasons that I am blowing it off. I expect that bill alone to be +1K. If I blow that one off and leave shortly after dinner at reception, I can avoid all confrontations. The reception will be +10K. Going to tell her that movers are coming Friday so I can't be there. I will say I have to leave Sunday so need to get back to Milw Sat night. But, she won't know that until I am leaving the reception and there is no time for her or her mother to start any sh!t.

 

If she disinvites me, fine.  I will know why I was invited.

 

Amazingly, the geek bored wasn't completely worthless in this case. I think you've managed to work this plan out very nicely.

 

Kudos.

[Let Da Big Dog Eat 38]

 

Amazingly, the geek bored wasn't completely worthless in this case. I think you've managed to work this plan out very nicely.

 

Kudos.

 

The geek bored has been very helpful and I thank you all. The diversity of opinions/thoughts (w/o knowing all the details) has been most instrumental in my thought process. This is a very emotional situation and it's always hard to think clearly in such situations. You folks have helped me think more clearly.

 

THANKS MIGHTILY ALL.

Da Dawg

[jerryskids 5,446]

The geek bored has been very helpful and I thank you all. The diversity of opinions/thoughts (w/o knowing all the details) has been most instrumental in my thought process. This is a very emotional situation and it's always hard to think clearly in such situations. You folks have helped me think more clearly.

 

THANKS MIGHTILY ALL.

Da Dawg

Quick, delete this thread before somebody thinks this place offers actual value. TIA.

[TAS 2]

The geek bored has been very helpful and I thank you all. The diversity of opinions/thoughts (w/o knowing all the details) has been most instrumental in my thought process. This is a very emotional situation and it's always hard to think clearly in such situations. You folks have helped me think more clearly.

 

THANKS MIGHTILY ALL.

Da Dawg

You didn't take my advice, per se, but I am always willing to give it! Good luck either way!

[Franknbeans 46]

My wife went to Michigan, and her family is obsessive about Wolverine football. We got married on Michigan/MSU game day. Her mom gave us shiot about it. But as I pointed out to her, any weekend in a 3-month window was Michigan/______ weekend.

Yeah you'd think that her daughter getting married would be a tad more important than a freakin' football game.

[jerryskids 5,446]

Yeah you'd think that her daughter getting married would be a tad more important than a freakin' football game.

Don't get me wrong, it was playful razzing. Also, the next weekend was the first Michigan/Penn State big ten game; I'm from PA, and the wife and I watched it from our hotel and mixed in some of teh sex.

[IGotWorms 3,463]

I'm glad you are going to the wedding Big Dog.

 

 

 

 

 

Although I would point out that you never answered the can size question.