Would you date someone if.........

[Mungwater 589]

I bet be has over -40- gay pron movies on his computer

 

[WhiteWonder 2,249]

If he loves you then what does it matter? You're talking about something that happened a long time ago.

Why hold that against him? he might be the right man for you and you're letting your insecurity get in the way.

 

i think its his love of ###### thats getting in the way.

 

 

 

on a serious note, the fact that he loves her or that anyone loves anyone is irrelevant. he may have a genuine love for her as a human being and friend but simply find men to be more sexually attractive. this would not make a good long term relationship.

[WhiteWonder 2,249]

in all seriousness though, its definately one of those nice double standard things.

 

if a girl i was with told me she slept with another girl once in college or something, i wouldn't think twice about it and would probably be pretty pumped that i might be able to easily work a threesome in the future.

 

but if she had long term relationships with women (i think someone already covered this) it would be a huge red flag and i would likely move on.

 

in my opinion your first instincts/desires are usually the correct ones and you can try to do the opposite because its more socially acceptable but deep down...

 

if you strongly believe that person is the only one for you, then by all means go ahead and stay with them but im one of those who feel there are many people out there for everyone so why get yourself into something that could crush you down the line when they "can't live the lie".

[OldMaid 1,844]

Should I be expecting a blog about this????

[nikki2200 4]

Should I be expecting a blog about this????

 

 

Thanks. I just snorted soda through my nose.

 

Stay tuned.....

[OldMaid 1,844]

Thanks. I just snorted soda through my nose.

 

Stay tuned.....

 

You need to work on your delivery. It would have been much funnier had you said: "I just snorted coke through my nose!" HTH

[Mungwater 589]

You need to work on your delivery. It would have been much funnier had you said: "I just caught my boyfriend snorting coke off my neighbors johnson" HTH

 

Hth

[gocolts 300]

You should watch this Nikki.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A5VNe9NTOxA

 

 

Longer version.

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ijbovskICjk&feature=related

[Me_2006 14]

From a male perspective (and dating females), neither would bother me. As dumb as it probably sounds, it wouldn't hurt my ego to have a girl leave me for another girl. I think that's part of what upsets people when they break up--it's an ego blow that you weren't good enough. I'd much rather lose a girlfriend to another woman than another dude.

 

 

Now if I'm a girl, gay sex is gay sex and no way am I getting involved with a dude who has focked another guy. Not because he's gay, but because of the sexual dynamic involved. I think it'd be easier for a girl to be sexually attracted and pleased by both sexes than for a guy to do the same.

[ADD1CT36 1]

I have dated bi men before, I'm sure you're all surprised. One didn't tell me til after we had sex and then I was just glad we used a rubber. That was the only thing that bothered me at the time because you can get away from statistics and how gay men contract more stds. Then again that's more guys who are promiscuos and have unprotected sex. Which is not all gay men.

 

The other guy was very open minded unlike most of you, and just tried some things. Its kind of like how a guy can have sex with a girl he doesn't necessarily want a relationship with and maybe he can even stand her, but physically is attracted. There are those who are attracted to both genders and can engage in sexual activity but you don't want a relationship with all of them. And at some point you find the one you do want to be with and all other sexual activity stops. Is that really that much of a stretch for evryone? If you're with someone and you're afraid they're going to change their mind and leave... well that's called normal. Regardless of which gender they like. It seems unreasonable to be more worried than usual.

 

Now if you're a b1tchy ho, you should be worried that they'll leave you for a nonbtchy ho.

[peenie 1,703]

I think they're afraid that the black dude stretched the chick's love-box out with his giant mandingo meat.

tee-hee...

 

 

as long as i didn't feel like he was using me as a beard or attempting to try to go straight, i think i'd go for it, but i would never consider him a serious relationship, too much potential for drama. just have fun with him and wear condoms!!!

just keep in mind the saying, "bi today gay tomorrow"

[gocolts 300]

I have dated bi men before, I'm sure you're all surprised. One didn't tell me til after we had sex and then I was just glad we used a rubber. That was the only thing that bothered me at the time because you can get away from statistics and how gay men contract more stds. Then again that's more guys who are promiscuos and have unprotected sex. Which is not all gay men.

 

The other guy was very open minded unlike most of you, and just tried some things. Its kind of like how a guy can have sex with a girl he doesn't necessarily want a relationship with and maybe he can even stand her, but physically is attracted. There are those who are attracted to both genders and can engage in sexual activity but you don't want a relationship with all of them. And at some point you find the one you do want to be with and all other sexual activity stops. Is that really that much of a stretch for evryone? If you're with someone and you're afraid they're going to change their mind and leave... well that's called normal. Regardless of which gender they like. It seems unreasonable to be more worried than usual.

 

Now if you're a b1tchy ho, you should be worried that they'll leave you for a nonbtchy ho.

Looks like a lot of wishful thinking. Sure it isn't EVERY ghey man, but those stats are what they are for a reason, and it's not because folks hate gheys.

 

 

Its kind of like how a guy can have sex with a girl he doesn't necessarily want a relationship with and maybe he can even stand her, but physically is attracted.

 

Actually, it's NOTHING like that.

 

Is that really that much of a stretch for evryone?

 

I don't think I would call it a stretch. More like a GIGANTIC leap.

[penultimatestraw 473]

I have dated bi men before, I'm sure you're all surprised. One didn't tell me til after we had sex and then I was just glad we used a rubber. That was the only thing that bothered me at the time because you can get away from statistics and how gay men contract more stds. Then again that's more guys who are promiscuos and have unprotected sex. Which is not all gay men.

 

The other guy was very open minded unlike most of you, and just tried some things. Its kind of like how a guy can have sex with a girl he doesn't necessarily want a relationship with and maybe he can even stand her, but physically is attracted. There are those who are attracted to both genders and can engage in sexual activity but you don't want a relationship with all of them. And at some point you find the one you do want to be with and all other sexual activity stops. Is that really that much of a stretch for evryone? If you're with someone and you're afraid they're going to change their mind and leave... well that's called normal. Regardless of which gender they like. It seems unreasonable to be more worried than usual.

 

Now if you're a b1tchy ho, you should be worried that they'll leave you for a nonbtchy ho.

If you are with someone and afraid they will leave you, you are insecure.

 

Open mindedness doesn't influence which sex is attractive to you - this isn't a conscious decision. Gay sex isn't on the radar for most men, except under extreme periods of sexual deprivation as in prison, or comic book conventions. The comparison to having sex with an annoying yet attractive chick isn't valid. Most guys would chose a vegetarian hot lunch with Susan Boyle over a Brad Pitt anal boot.

 

This boils down to whether one thinks bisexuality is a sustainable enterprise, or a transition time from the less attractive gender to the preferred one. I tend to think the latter applies to most cases.

 

As there are so many societal pressures against gays, it is much easier to imagine Nikki's dude had the gay beaten out of him, either physically or emotionally, when he changed teams. Because being gay is still not accepted in most parts of this country, it is hard to swallow (poor word choice) that his turd burglary was just a phase. In other words, likelihood he is a repressed gay >>> bi-curious straight dude.

[penultimatestraw 473]

Yes. It was full blown sex. The whole shabang.

 

Hypothetically speaking, the guy went through a period in his life after college where he was engaging in sexual relations with men. But now says he's straight. I find this hard to believe.

As most bi-curiosity occurs in formative years, I think his behavior post-college is more indicative of his true sexual proclivity.

[ADD1CT36 1]

First of all, if youare a straight dude who can't even imagine getting a little bit hard with another guy, none of what I said even friggin applies to you. I'm talking about as a woman what I know about men who CAN have sex with both men and women. I know lots of gay men who feel exctly the same way about women as straight dudes feel about other dudes. This particular topic also has nothing to do with them.

 

Secondly as I was addressing the OP I was trying to establish some kind of understanding as to how a bi man thinks as a generalization. If you've ever seen Chasing Amy, you also might recall what Alyssa says about trying to find "the one" and letting the possibility be either male or female. So that kind of person who is open to either gender, I would date. At this point in life I wouldn't date someone who is just experimenting because I want someone who is sure of what they want now, at least as sure as you can be.

[penultimatestraw 473]

First of all, if youare a straight dude who can't even imagine getting a little bit hard with another guy, none of what I said even friggin applies to you. I'm talking about as a woman what I know about men who CAN have sex with both men and women. I know lots of gay men who feel exctly the same way about women as straight dudes feel about other dudes. This particular topic also has nothing to do with them.

 

Secondly as I was addressing the OP I was trying to establish some kind of understanding as to how a bi man thinks as a generalization. If you've ever seen Chasing Amy, you also might recall what Alyssa says about trying to find "the one" and letting the possibility be either male or female. So that kind of person who is open to either gender, I would date. At this point in life I wouldn't date someone who is just experimenting because I want someone who is sure of what they want now, at least as sure as you can be.

You stated your bi friend was "open minded"; this implies those who are exclusive to their sexual preference are closed minded in comparison. As I think true, sustained bisexuality is a rare occurrence, I am supporting the OP's concern that this guy is more likely a repressed gay. Moreover, I think most homoerotic experiences occur when gender preference is still somewhat malleable, making his adult decision to partake in same sex activities more of a red flag. The only bisexual dude I have ever known eventually realized he was gay.

[WhiteWonder 2,249]

I have dated bi men before, I'm sure you're all surprised. One didn't tell me til after we had sex and then I was just glad we used a rubber. That was the only thing that bothered me at the time because you can get away from statistics and how gay men contract more stds. Then again that's more guys who are promiscuos and have unprotected sex. Which is not all gay men.

 

The other guy was very open minded unlike most of you, and just tried some things. Its kind of like how a guy can have sex with a girl he doesn't necessarily want a relationship with and maybe he can even stand her, but physically is attracted. There are those who are attracted to both genders and can engage in sexual activity but you don't want a relationship with all of them. And at some point you find the one you do want to be with and all other sexual activity stops. Is that really that much of a stretch for evryone? If you're with someone and you're afraid they're going to change their mind and leave... well that's called normal. Regardless of which gender they like. It seems unreasonable to be more worried than usual.

 

Now if you're a b1tchy ho, you should be worried that they'll leave you for a nonbtchy ho.

 

being open minded as far as having a homosexual experience is absolutely NOTHING like a guy sleeping with a girl he can't stand because he finds her sexually attractive. i know you feel that you have a vast amount of experience on these topics and that it makes you correct but sleeping with an annoying yet hot ho requires very little open mindedness.

 

you dont just try sex with a guy because you're an open minded person. Its not like eating a bug. If you are attracted to a man you are homosexual or bisexual at the least. Either would be cause for concern if i was a woman and had a man telling me "I'm straight but i once had sex with a man".

 

its not so much the fact that he had sex with a man as much as it is the fact he is in clear denial about his orientation.

[nikki2200 4]

WhiteWonder and penny are confirming what my initial feelings are on this topic.

[MDC 6,013]

You should fear AIDS, he should fear herpes.

 

Hth

[penultimatestraw 473]

sleeping with an annoying yet hot ho requires very little open mindedness.

All this requires is a pen!s, as many of us can attest. Despite reality-based shows like Chasing Amy , most people don't dine from an open-gender sexual menu. The few that do are about as common as near 40-year old nondrinkers - maybe Nikki has found one, but I'd wager against it.

[gutterslut 1]

I see Mikey finally got around to telling someone what broke us up.

 

 

And remember, there's no such thing as ONCE!

[WhiteWonder 2,249]

All this requires is a pen!s, as many of us can attest. Despite reality-based shows like Chasing Amy , most people don't dine from an open-gender sexual menu. The few that do are about as common as near 40-year old nondrinkers - maybe Nikki has found one, but I'd wager against it.

 

although that is not even the issue. Nikki seems to have been saying that her man is claiming to be completely heterosexual despite previous gay encounters.

 

even if she had indeed found someone who dines from an open gender sexual menu, i don't think thats what she would want from a partner (just a guess).

 

but in this case, its more about denial. and this denial is what i think could be detrimental to the type of relationship nikki probably wants. you don't want to turn a blind eye to it now and then years down the road, when you have an established family, your husband goes all James McGreevey

[Patriotsfatboy1 1,432]

I have the double standard of thinking at chicks and munch rug and it is no big deal from a heterosexuality standpoint, but if a guy sucks another guy's d!ck, he is gay. Sorry. Suck one and you are labeled for life.

[nikki2200 4]

although that is not even the issue. Nikki seems to have been saying that her man is claiming to be completely heterosexual despite previous gay encounters.

 

even if she had indeed found someone who dines from an open gender sexual menu, i don't think thats what she would want from a partner (just a guess).

 

but in this case, its more about denial. and this denial is what i think could be detrimental to the type of relationship nikki probably wants. you don't want to turn a blind eye to it now and then years down the road, when you have an established family, your husband goes all James McGreevey

 

 

Yea. WhiteWonder. That's my whole point. You hear all the time about guys being married for years and then coming out of the closet or the wife finds out he has been cheating with other men. A lot of guys are gay but pretend to be hetero because of societal pressures.

[Frank M 181]

Meh...Every guy here has had a homo experience at some time in their lives.

Whether it be sword fighting with your buddy at 6 years old or having your red haired uncle telling you that he's a Cleric and needs your help to 'raise the dead' when you are a 6th grade D&D freak.

 

 

 

I haven't.

[RLLD 3,588]

Hell to the yes......in fact, i would suggest that she invite that person over for dinner sometime.

[Me_2006 14]

Yea. WhiteWonder. That's my whole point. You hear all the time about guys being married for years and then coming out of the closet or the wife finds out he has been cheating with other men. A lot of guys are gay but pretend to be hetero because of societal pressures.

Well then they need to stop acting like f@ggots and be themselves.

 

 

 

Wait...

[titans&bucs&bearsohmy! 2,745]

what's wrong with having been with a black guy?

 

Here's one reason.... From CDC.org

 

[titans&bucs&bearsohmy! 2,745]

Oh, and nikki, to answer your orignial question... for a guy, it depends. If I am just looking to bang a girl, knowledge that she likes the bearded clam chowder is just a bonus... maybe we can ride the tricycle.

 

If I'm looking to marry... it depends. A few drunk nights in college? Ok. Played on a womens's softball team? Nah.

 

Now, for chicks. If a dude has voluntarily touched another cack, he is queer. Period. End of story.

 

My wife has a friend. Her husband told he he was bisexual. Now, he has a big stack of gay pron, and their marriage is in trouble.

[nikki2200 4]

Here's one reason.... From CDC.org

 

 

Racist.

[nikki2200 4]

Oh, and nikki, to answer your orignial question... for a guy, it depends. If I am just looking to bang a girl, knowledge that she likes the bearded clam chowder is just a bonus... maybe we can ride the tricycle.

 

If I'm looking to marry... it depends. A few drunk nights in college? Ok. Played on a womens's softball team? Nah.

 

Now, for chicks. If a dude has voluntarily touched another cack, he is queer. Period. End of story.

 

My wife has a friend. Her husband told he he was bisexual. Now, he has a big stack of gay pron, and their marriage is in trouble.

 

Yea I guess I can accept the "experimenting" logic better from women than men.

[OldMaid 1,844]

Now before we all start jumping to conclusions, I think a little more information is needed. Ask him these questions and see what he says:

 

Was there ecstasy involved?

 

Did he take a job as a male prostitute to pay off his student loans that he procured through the mob?

 

Did he accidentally slip and "fall" into some guys a$$ while playing strip twister trying to get his right foot on red?

 

Did he go to far acting out Broke Back Mountain in a game of charades?

 

 

If he can answer yes to any of these questions, I think you're safe.

[nikki2200 4]

I'm having a hard time finding my thread.

 

So the answer to all of the questions was yes.... hypotheticaly....

 

I think that may be worse.

[gocolts 300]

I'm having a hard time finding my thread.

 

So the answer to all of the questions was yes.... hypotheticaly....

 

I think that may be worse.

You were 100% correct with your initial concerns. This guy, and any guy for that matter who would do something like this, is gay. No way around that fact.

[IGotWorms 3,475]

A dude who has a homosexual encounter is gay. That's all there is to it. You don't just go gay one night and then decide it wasn't for you. Once you cross that line there's no going back.

 

Now it's different for women. They are naturally more bi-curious for some reason. So a woman can hook up with another chick and decide that she isn't a lesbian, or that she enjoyed it but prefers men more.

 

Not so with a man. He's gay or bisexual at best, but there's no way he is full-on straight.

[SUXBNME 1,368]

 

I haven't.

Come on, buddy...It's OK. You can tell us the truth here.

 

How about you have a seat over here

[SUXBNME 1,368]

A dude who has a homosexual encounter is gay. That's all there is to it.

Define homo encounter.

 

I've had a few threesomes in my life that were 1 girl, my buddy and myself.

My buddy and myself never crossed swords, but would that constitute homo / gay because I saw his weiner in a sexual event that we were both part of ?

 

Also, would it be considered homo if you and a buddy DP'd a girl for the fock of it and mebbe slapped balls without your knowledge? (at the time)

 

Alcohol is an evil drug

[penultimatestraw 473]

Here's one reason.... From CDC.org

 

They actually have fewer STI if you calculate by the inch.

[peenie 1,703]

Here's one reason.... From CDC.org

 

ewwwww!!

well, i'm black and i've NEVER had any of those!!

[nikki2200 4]

Define homo encounter.

 

I've had a few threesomes in my life that were 1 girl, my buddy and myself.

My buddy and myself never crossed swords, but would that constitute homo / gay because I saw his weiner in a sexual event that we were both part of ?

 

Also, would it be considered homo if you and a buddy DP'd a girl for the fock of it and mebbe slapped balls without your knowledge? (at the time)

 

Alcohol is an evil drug

 

I think we found someone who is bi-curious.

 

Why do you need gay sex explained to you? So you can figure out if you've done it or not?

 

It's pretty straight forward. Maybe I can call and explain it to you.