***Ask redtodd anything***

[redtodd 7]

I figured I would start this up early tonight as I might have a busy start on Monday but then it can continue on the rest of Monday.

 

Fire away on the questions and I will do my best to answer as much as I can as honestly as I can.

 

The first answer I can give......yes, the carpet matches the drapes.

 

Fire away cunts!!!!!

 

:mellow:

[the body 0]

Do you remember your first blowjob?

[redtodd 7]

Do you remember your first blowjob?

 

Yes, she didn't do all that special of a job.

 

Nice try, Paulie Walnuts.

[the body 0]

How'd it taste?

[BunnysBastatrds 1,959]

Weight and height of the biggest crapper busting fatty you banged?

[redtodd 7]

Weight and height of the biggest crapper busting fatty you banged?

 

Oh man, there was a pig in college that I was far from proud of. She wasn't even one of those fatties that "had a pretty face" either. I was pretty hammered and she was pretty aggressive.

 

If I had to guess, she was probably 5'6" and 170+.

 

Though, she gave insanely good head. She even made those fun slurping sounds. She must have thought my pecker was a bratwurst because I practically had to pull the sheets out of my ass when she was done.

 

[BLS 313]

Oh man, there was a pig in college that I was far from proud of. She wasn't even one of those fatties that "had a pretty face" either. I was pretty hammered and she was pretty aggressive.

 

If I had to guess, she was probably 5'6" and 170+.

 

Though, she gave insanely good head. She even made those fun slurping sounds. She must have thought my pecker was a bratwurst because I practically had to pull the sheets out of my ass when she was done.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Now that you've met me a couple of times, does my bored persona match me in real life?

Do you have any new material?

 

How did you get into comedy honestly?

 

Were you scared as sh1t the first time you went on stage?

[dain11279 934]

How many times have you been laughed off the stage?

 

And I don't mean laughed in a good way

[redtodd 7]

Now that you've met me a couple of times, does my bored persona match me in real life?

 

I'd say you are much more laid back in person. Plus you were not waving a gun and holding a Ron Paul sign when we hung out (which we are overdue to do again).

 

Do you have any new material?

 

Yes. Got some newer stuff with the kids and newer Midwest stuff. I still use the angle of being a Bostonian in the Midwest. As the MBA program would say, "That is my point of differentiation."

 

How did you get into comedy honestly?

 

I was always the "goof" among my friends and at work. I had been hearing from people that knew me that I should be a comedian since I was about 15. Eventually an old day job had me do it at their Sales Meeting. They were doing a Tonight Show theme where the VP of Sales acted like he was hosting a show where the guests were the Sales people who would come in, sit on Johny's couch and talk about their territory. They even had to co-workers who were in a band who played the show's band. Since the late night shows always had a comedian, they decided to use me. They were a very fun company who were willing to walk the line.

 

I had about 6+ beers and went up there and did some material I wrote and "borrowed" some other material (if I recall some from Robert Schimmel and Anthony Clark). It went over great and I still have the tape somewhere of it. The President/Owner of the company made it a point to add to my goals to go to an Open Mike sometime in the next quarter.

 

I was scared to go out there and do a real show. Plus I did not know where to go or who to talk to. Somehow I came up with the idea to check out and Open Mike as an audience member and see what it was like. I went with a buddy one Sunday Night in Boston and most of the comics sucked ass. My buddy looked at me and said, "you are better than most of these idiots" (which in hindsight is not saying much).

 

I did it a week later (with a ton of friends in the crowd) and it went great. I had people roaring. I thought I would be on HBO in no time. I brought a camera my second night and even more friends and totally BOMBED.

 

I did it for 6 months. Got good at it, did it for 6 months, then I took 1.5 years off. I eventually got back into it and took it serious and I have been doing it since for 11 years.

 

Were you scared as sh1t the first time you went on stage?

 

Definitely. Both at the show at my job and the first real Open Mike. I needed 6+ beers for both as I was terrified. I was good at making my friends and co-workers laugh, but I not the type of person to take over a room filled with people I don't know.

 

I am not sure if I have ever been more scared in my life than I was that first Open Mike.

[redtodd 7]

How many times have you been laughed off the stage?

 

And I don't mean laughed in a good way

 

I don't think ever in the sense that I pissed my pants and ran off while people pointed at laughed. Early on if things went bad, there was no pointing and laughing. There was just painful silence (which can be more painful).

 

There are much less "bad" nights now-a-days than there were in the past, but I always tried to convey a "likeable" persona on stage so even if things didn't go as I would have liked, the crowd didn't hate me.

[BLS 313]

I'd say you are much more laid back in person. Plus you were not waving a gun and holding a Ron Paul sign when we hung out (which we are overdue to do again).

 

 

 

Yes. Got some newer stuff with the kids and newer Midwest stuff. I still use the angle of being a Bostonian in the Midwest. As the MBA program would say, "That is my point of differentiation."

 

 

 

I was always the "goof" among my friends and at work. I had been hearing from people that knew me that I should be a comedian since I was about 15. Eventually an old day job had me do it at their Sales Meeting. They were doing a Tonight Show theme where the VP of Sales acted like he was hosting a show where the guests were the Sales people who would come in, sit on Johny's couch and talk about their territory. They even had to co-workers who were in a band who played the show's band. Since the late night shows always had a comedian, they decided to use me. They were a very fun company who were willing to walk the line.

 

I had about 6+ beers and went up there and did some material I wrote and "borrowed" some other material (if I recall some from Robert Schimmel and Anthony Clark). It went over great and I still have the tape somewhere of it. The President/Owner of the company made it a point to add to my goals to go to an Open Mike sometime in the next quarter.

 

I was scared to go out there and do a real show. Plus I did not know where to go or who to talk to. Somehow I came up with the idea to check out and Open Mike as an audience member and see what it was like. I went with a buddy one Sunday Night in Boston and most of the comics sucked ass. My buddy looked at me and said, "you are better than most of these idiots" (which in hindsight is not saying much).

 

I did it a week later (with a ton of friends in the crowd) and it went great. I had people roaring. I thought I would be on HBO in no time. I brought a camera my second night and even more friends and totally BOMBED.

 

I did it for 6 months. Got good at it, did it for 6 months, then I took 1.5 years off. I eventually got back into it and took it serious and I have been doing it since for 11 years.

 

 

 

Definitely. Both at the show at my job and the first real Open Mike. I needed 6+ beers for both as I was terrified. I was good at making my friends and co-workers laugh, but I not the type of person to take over a room filled with people I don't know.

 

I am not sure if I have ever been more scared in my life than I was that first Open Mike.

 

 

 

Takes Brass Balls.

 

I know teaching my handgun classes that I STILL get nervous for about the first 2 minutes. Especially with larger crowds.

I asked because I've noticed that I've got a "set" that I have honed and have quite a few jokes I insert that always get good laughs. Yesterday after my 38 student class I thought "I wonder if I'm funny enough to do comedy like RedTodd"...because it's FUN AS HELL when you get a crowd roaring laughing. I envy the sh1t out of ya for sticking with it!

 

 

ETA: Yes, lets get together again. I work in RF twice a week with a client in the Industrial Park...and Hudson the remaining days. Can meet you at Bo's N' Mine for a beer some night.

 

(Sorry...didn't mean to hijack your thread!)

[redtodd 7]

 

Takes Brass Balls.

 

I know teaching my handgun classes that I STILL get nervous for about the first 2 minutes. Especially with larger crowds.

I asked because I've noticed that I've got a "set" that I have honed and have quite a few jokes I insert that always get good laughs. Yesterday after my 38 student class I thought "I wonder if I'm funny enough to do comedy like RedTodd"...because it's FUN AS HELL when you get a crowd roaring laughing. I envy the sh1t out of ya for sticking with it!

 

It was definitely a lot of work and it was very humbling at times. The tough thing is with comedy is that every crowd is so different. Not only demographic, but tastes, moods, environment at the club, etc. Most new comics struggle with consistency. A lot will get great at one club (i.e. Acme), but then eat his ###### whenever he goes on a road gig where there are people at a bar talking.

 

You are doing the right thing with having a "set." The key is to get material you can rely on it and do it enough so it does not seem like it is prepared material. Think of the some of the great comics you have seen where it seems like they are yanking stuff out of their ass, they rarely are. It is very well planned and you mostly have an agenda (though I love going off the script and talking with people).

 

There is no other high than crushing a room filled with people. But on the other side, there is no worse feeling than bombing (at least if you are honest with yourself).

[redtodd 7]

 

ETA: Yes, lets get together again. I work in RF twice a week with a client in the Industrial Park...and Hudson the remaining days. Can meet you at Bo's N' Mine for a beer some night.

 

(Sorry...didn't mean to hijack your thread!)

 

Sounds great, but let's do MainStreeters instead. My buddy just bought the bar and I'd rather support him.

[BLS 313]

Sounds great, but let's do MainStreeters instead. My buddy just bought the bar and I'd rather support him.

 

Works for me. I'll send ya a PM with my cell/email. If I wear my Giants jersey, will you kill me?

[redtodd 7]

Works for me. I'll send ya a PM with my cell/email. If I wear my Giants jersey, will you kill me?

 

Can't do much since you pack heat and I don't. Though when you are looking away, I will scrape my cornhole with my fingernail and flick a dingleberry into your Zima bottle.

[BLS 313]

Can't do much since you pack heat and I don't. Though when you are looking away, I will scrape my cornhole and fingernail and flick a dingleberry into your Zima bottle.

 

 

I'd expect nothing less if you caught me drinking a fuckin Zima.

[dain11279 934]

Rank these actors:

 

Leonardo Dicaprio

Brad Pitt

Denzel Washington

[redtodd 7]

Rank these actors:

 

Leonardo Dicaprio

Brad Pitt

Denzel Washington

 

From what I perceive skill wise, I would probably say put it in the order you have.

 

I think Denzel is over-rated. Over acts a bit.

 

Brad Pitt is fun when he is a supporting character (True Romance, Snatch, 12 Monkeys), but he does not do a lot for me as a leading man.

 

There is something about Dicaprio that always made me want to smack him. Not sure why, but he is a solid actor.

[BunnysBastatrds 1,959]

It's the midnight hour and you're strapped to the electric chair for a crime you didn't commit. What are your last words?

[listen2me 23 1,584]

If you were a pro wrestler what would be your finishing move?

 

Whats your blood pressure?

[OldMaid 1,841]

How many fingers am I holding up right now?

[BLS 313]

Are you a T1ts or a$$ man?

 

How do you know when a woman has an orgasm?

 

Double Ply or single?

 

Brady or Grogan?

 

Welker, Moss or Branch?

[IGotWorms 3,450]

What did you do after the Patriots lost the Superbowl?

[Mile High Drunk 13]

 

How do you know when a woman has an orgasm?

 

I got this one...

 

Trick question, women cant have an orgasm.

[BLS 313]

I got this one...

 

Trick question, women cant have an orgasm.

 

 

******ARRNNKKKK********...wrong answer.

 

 

The correct answer is................'who cares'?

[redtodd 7]

It's the midnight hour and you're strapped to the electric chair for a crime you didn't commit. What are your last words?

 

You are all cunts.

[redtodd 7]

If you were a pro wrestler what would be your finishing move?

 

Whats your blood pressure?

 

The Defecater. That is where I shiot in my hand and then give my opponent the mandible claw.

 

My blood pressure is normal. I cannot ever remember the reading, but the nurses always say "You blood pressure is normal.....now pull your pants up."

[redtodd 7]

How many fingers am I holding up right now?

 

Four. You are giving me the international sign for "The Stinger."

[NorthernVike 2,080]

Not so much a question as a tip. Next time you are on stage and are bombing...err, next week... take off your sport coat to reveal your Brady jersey and sit your ass on the stage, head down, hands between your legs. :bradying:

 

 

[redtodd 7]

Are you a T1ts or a$$ man?

 

Always been a t!ts man. Love, love, love them and I don't mind some junk in the trunk. Plus the great thing about a little bit of fat arse is that a little fat adds a WHOLE LOT of insecurity which helps my chances.

 

 

How do you know when a woman has an orgasm?

 

Who cares?

Double Ply or single?

 

Don't really care, I'm just wiping my arse.

 

Brady or Grogan?

 

Brady.

 

Welker, Moss or Branch?

 

Welker, he tries all the time........except for a certain catch in the Super Bowl.

[redtodd 7]

What did you do after the Patriots lost the Superbowl?

 

I took it OK. I just kind of sighed and told my guests that they can go now.

 

I took it much better than the last time mainly because we all knew they could (and probably should) lose. It still sucks though because if one or two catches were made, people outside of NE would be talking about Brady as the best of all time.

 

I did take the next day off of work (preplanned). I thought I would have had more to drink, but I was too stunned to drink.

[redtodd 7]

Not so much a question as a tip. Next time you are on stage and are bombing...err, next week... take off your sport coat to reveal your Brady jersey and sit your ass on the stage, head down, hands between your legs. :bradying:

 

 

 

Sports mocking by a Vikings fan?

[drobeski 3,061]

Is me not showing up at your Manchester gig still the worst thing that ever happened to you ? Do you blame that for your comedian career going nowhere ?

[shotsup 832]

When you and BLS get together are you the pitcher or catcher ?

[Eagles Green 34]

3 favorite geeks, 3 least favorite, and why?

 

Do you think Robert Edwards is the most unlucky person to ever have played feetball?

 

Does it bother you to be the 2nd funniest ginger behind Carrot Top?

 

Black people, what's the deal?

[Patriotsfatboy1 1,432]

Does ULowell hunt you down and ask for donations every 6-8 weeks?

[kutulu 1,564]

Ever shart on stage?

[NorthernVike 2,080]

Have you ever been heckled by a fellow geek?

[jerryskids 5,430]

Did you finish your MBA? If so, are you doing anything with it?

[BLS 313]

When you and BLS get together are you the pitcher or catcher ?

 

 

Please. Like I'm gonna catch.