Tell a good joke

[Thornton Melon 648]

A termite walks into a bar, sits down at a bar stool and asks the guy next to him "Is the bar tender here?"

[Voltaire 5,499]

What's the biggest challenge for the host of an international conference in Asia?

 

Getting the Japanese to talk and the Indians to shut up.

[MTSkiBum 1,626]

The friars were behind on their belfry payments, so they opened up a small florist shop to raise funds.

Since everyone liked to buy flowers from the men of God, a rival florist across town thought this was unfair. He asked the good fathers to close down, but they would not.

He went back and begged the friars to close. They ignored him.

So the rival florist hired Hugh MacTaggart, the roughest and most vicious thug in town to "persuade" them to close. Hugh beat up the friars and trashed their store, saying he'd be back if they didn't close up shop.

 

 

Terrified, they did so, thereby proving that:

 

Hugh, and only Hugh, can prevent florist friars.

[MTSkiBum 1,626]

Wanted Dead and Alive: Shrodingers Cat

 

 

Spelling is difficoult chalenging hard

[NorthernVike 2,098]

The friars were behind on their belfry payments, so they opened up a small florist shop to raise funds.

 

Since everyone liked to buy flowers from the men of God, a rival florist across town thought this was unfair. He asked the good fathers to close down, but they would not.

 

He went back and begged the friars to close. They ignored him.

 

So the rival florist hired Hugh MacTaggart, the roughest and most vicious thug in town to "persuade" them to close. Hugh beat up the friars and trashed their store, saying he'd be back if they didn't close up shop.

 

 

Terrified, they did so, thereby proving that:

 

Hugh, and only Hugh, can prevent florist friars.

[BunnysBastatrds 2,642]

 Little Johnny is helping his dad work on his mustang. He says “Daddy, Jimmy called Todd a poosay and a biotch?”  So dad grabs a Penthouse and a He circles the poosay with the sharpie.  “Lil Johnny, whats in the circle is a poosay. Everything else is a biotch”

[SUXBNME 1,606]

What position do you need to be in to make ugly babies? 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Ask your parents

[easilyscan 1,024]

What did Jeffrey Dahmer say to Lorena Bobbitt ?

You gonna eat that ?

 

[BeenHereBefore 1,610]

I ran into the Mexicans when I was headed into 7/11 and they was like White boy you want to smoke some weed ? I'm like sure you got any papers ? they ran away!

[MikeMatt 413]

John is going on a first date with this hot broad and he was at her place picking her up but she said she needs to use the powder room a she’ll be down in 10 mins. John starting to feel the need to take a dump but he was embarrassed to ask her since she is already in the bathroom so he sees a dog sleeping in the corner and decides to crap on the floor and blame the dog. 
He drops a Duece and the smell is so bad he leaves the room and broad came back down and asked if everything was OK and he said yes but he was just scared of the dog. 
She replied - no need to be afraid he died years ago and we had him stuffed !