Thornton Melon 648 Posted December 30, 2013 A termite walks into a bar, sits down at a bar stool and asks the guy next to him "Is the bar tender here?" Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Voltaire 5,505 Posted December 30, 2013 What's the biggest challenge for the host of an international conference in Asia? Getting the Japanese to talk and the Indians to shut up. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
MTSkiBum 1,626 Posted December 30, 2013 The friars were behind on their belfry payments, so they opened up a small florist shop to raise funds.Since everyone liked to buy flowers from the men of God, a rival florist across town thought this was unfair. He asked the good fathers to close down, but they would not.He went back and begged the friars to close. They ignored him.So the rival florist hired Hugh MacTaggart, the roughest and most vicious thug in town to "persuade" them to close. Hugh beat up the friars and trashed their store, saying he'd be back if they didn't close up shop. Terrified, they did so, thereby proving that: Hugh, and only Hugh, can prevent florist friars. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
MTSkiBum 1,626 Posted December 30, 2013 Wanted Dead and Alive: Shrodingers Cat Spelling is difficoult chalenging hard Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
NorthernVike 2,098 Posted December 30, 2013 The friars were behind on their belfry payments, so they opened up a small florist shop to raise funds. Since everyone liked to buy flowers from the men of God, a rival florist across town thought this was unfair. He asked the good fathers to close down, but they would not. He went back and begged the friars to close. They ignored him. So the rival florist hired Hugh MacTaggart, the roughest and most vicious thug in town to "persuade" them to close. Hugh beat up the friars and trashed their store, saying he'd be back if they didn't close up shop. Terrified, they did so, thereby proving that: Hugh, and only Hugh, can prevent florist friars. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
BunnysBastatrds 2,653 Posted Friday at 04:34 PM Little Johnny is helping his dad work on his mustang. He says “Daddy, Jimmy called Todd a poosay and a biotch?” So dad grabs a Penthouse and a He circles the poosay with the sharpie. “Lil Johnny, whats in the circle is a poosay. Everything else is a biotch” Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
SUXBNME 1,607 Posted Friday at 05:10 PM What position do you need to be in to make ugly babies? Ask your parents Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
easilyscan 1,028 Posted Saturday at 04:46 AM What did Jeffrey Dahmer say to Lorena Bobbitt ? You gonna eat that ? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
BeenHereBefore 1,619 Posted Saturday at 05:47 AM I ran into the Mexicans when I was headed into 7/11 and they was like White boy you want to smoke some weed ? I'm like sure you got any papers ? they ran away! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
MikeMatt 423 Posted Saturday at 06:18 AM John is going on a first date with this hot broad and he was at her place picking her up but she said she needs to use the powder room a she’ll be down in 10 mins. John starting to feel the need to take a dump but he was embarrassed to ask her since she is already in the bathroom so he sees a dog sleeping in the corner and decides to crap on the floor and blame the dog. He drops a Duece and the smell is so bad he leaves the room and broad came back down and asked if everything was OK and he said yes but he was just scared of the dog. She replied - no need to be afraid he died years ago and we had him stuffed ! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
NorthernVike 2,098 Posted Monday at 08:24 PM What do you call a black guy in outer space? An astronaut you focking racist. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
edjr 6,937 Posted Monday at 08:25 PM 1 minute ago, NorthernVike said: What do you call a black guy in outer space? An astronaut you focking racist. Guion Bluford Jr. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
NorthernVike 2,098 Posted Monday at 08:26 PM Today, my wife apologized to me for the first time! She siad she was sorry she ever me me. :redtodd: Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
BunnysBastatrds 2,653 Posted Monday at 09:28 PM What is the opposite of attractive… Sux Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
GobbleDog 1,011 Posted yesterday at 02:18 AM Two pedophiles sitting on a porch when a good looking 18 yo girls walks by. One pedo says "man, I bet she was hot when she was young!" Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
MikeMatt 423 Posted yesterday at 06:06 AM 3 hours ago, GobbleDog said: Two pedophiles sitting on a porch when a good looking 18 yo girls walks by. One pedo says "man, I bet she was hot when she was young!" Fock- I laughed too hard at that one. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
remote controller 143 Posted 21 hours ago What does the USS Enterprise and a roll of toilet paper have in common??? They both orbit Uranus and wipe out Klingon's. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
remote controller 143 Posted 17 hours ago Why did God give Women one more brain cell than a Horse?? That way they wouldn't crap in the middle of the road during a parade. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Maximum Overkill 2,507 Posted 17 hours ago How do you keep Illegal Immigrants out of your back yard? Hang one in the front yard Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
