wiffleball 4,660 Posted February 22, 2014 To Wit: I swear to Gawd, every year that passes my gasses get more toxic. I actually made a guy dry-heave at the bar a year ago. I chase myself out of the room. It's not just gross, it's toxic. - And chicken is the worst. Like Dogs, old men just cannot process that shiit appropriately. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Let Da Big Dog Eat 38 Posted February 22, 2014 IAT. Enjoy your new found talents. You can get a bar stool whenever you want. It's a talent, not a flaw. You need to learn how and when to use it. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Geezil 24 Posted February 22, 2014 I was ringing up a customer a few months back and he must have farted silently. It was quite honestly the rankest stench I think I have ever smelled in my life. Of course I don't want to embarrass him so I don't say anything and he doesn't say anything, he just quickly pays and leaves. I sprayed some Febreze and forgot about the whole deal until later that night as I'm sitting alone watching the news. I farted and it smelled exactly the same. I never saw him in the store again. Sorry pal, my bad. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
wiffleball 4,660 Posted February 15, 2015 Ate chicken last night. Was literally awakened out of sound sleep by the smell. Had to leave the room and turn on the fan. How can something that smells so good going in smell so bad coming out? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
shotsup 832 Posted February 15, 2015 I had a 7-11 grande burrito last night and this morning my son was in my room and was yapping about something I didn't care about so I ripped a nasty silent one. He rambled on for a few more minutes then left with the reply. "BTW dad you stink." Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
BunnysBastatrds 1,941 Posted February 15, 2015 A friend of mine growing up had an 80 year old grandma that farted constantly. She'd open the door and "hey boys.....brap brap....how are you..... Brap brap bra brap bat brap.......oh dear me." Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
IGotWorms 3,391 Posted February 15, 2015 I had a 7-11 grande burrito last night Why do you hate yourself? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
wiffleball 4,660 Posted February 15, 2015 A friend of mine growing up had an 80 year old grandma that farted constantly. She'd open the door and "hey boys.....brap brap....how are you..... Brap brap bra brap bat brap.......oh dear me." Maybe she had a pet duck? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
peenie 1,701 Posted February 15, 2015 You just have to be aware of what it is that is giving you gas. It's probably not the chicken but rather how you prepared it. I cannot eat: milk, ice cream, yogurt, cottage cheese onions beans collard greens, kale and things that contain those ingredients (pizza hut pizza crust has an incredible amount of milk in it so I must avoid it, even gum has sorbitol in it which gives me gas too.) Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
jerryskids 5,304 Posted February 15, 2015 Why do you hate yourself? It was Valentine's Day so he splurged on the grande burrito vs. the regular one. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
wiffleball 4,660 Posted February 15, 2015 It was Valentine's Day so he splurged on the grande burrito vs. the regular one. and the lubricated Kleenex to jerk off in to. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
IGotWorms 3,391 Posted February 16, 2015 You just have to be aware of what it is that is giving you gas. It's probably not the chicken but rather how you prepared it. I cannot eat: milk, ice cream, yogurt, cottage cheese onions beans collard greens, kale and things that contain those ingredients (pizza hut pizza crust has an incredible amount of milk in it so I must avoid it, even gum has sorbitol in it which gives me gas too.) True regardless of age. Part of the reason you don't have these issues when you're younger is you're too dumb to realize it. Took me YEARS to figure out I was having heartburn and then years more to figure out what was causing it. (For example.) Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
frank 2,160 Posted February 16, 2015 Thread title should be changed to getting old stinks. 2 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
NEWPOSTERGUY! 269 Posted February 16, 2015 - had to give up Heineken in my early 30s ... that, combined with the chix kabob sticks from the cart on 34th st, produced the most noxious emission known to man other beers, not so much ... but that freakin' Heineken ... man, just pure stank Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
rholio 339 Posted February 16, 2015 Thread title should be changed to getting old stinks. /thread. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
shotsup 832 Posted February 16, 2015 Why do you hate yourself? LOL Guilty pleasure Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Voltaire 4,575 Posted February 16, 2015 When I was 18, I was in the Army, pretty much everyone was older than me and I clearly remember thinking and joking about how these guys were all way more gassy than I was. All of them. And we were all eating pretty much the same things. Now, I hadn't noticed any difference with my peers the year before in High School, so it had to be their age. Now, being older, knowing how active my ass is, I'm sure of it. It's age that does this to us. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Dragan187 7 Posted February 17, 2015 The older u get, the harder it is for ur body to digest food. If ur farts are rank, its because ur food is not digesting properly and the "stank" is food rotting inside of ur body. Take a daily probiotic and u will see a huge difference in smell. U can get this over the counter at any grocery or pharmacy. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
NEWPOSTERGUY! 269 Posted February 17, 2015 The older u get, the harder it is for ur body to digest food. If ur farts are rank, its because ur food is not digesting properly and the "stank" is food rotting inside of ur body. Take a daily probiotic and u will see a huge difference in smell. U can get this over the counter at any grocery or pharmacy. - went this route after a partially collapsed lung necessitated a lengthy antibiotic course ... and the gas and cramps were focked up, to say the least. was recommended to replenish what the antibiotic ate away, but ... was more trouble than good. i can live with some stank farts, but, the probiotic gave a feeling like i had to take explosive dumps every 10 minutes. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Dragan187 7 Posted February 17, 2015 It did that for me as well. (lasted about a month) After my body got use to it, that feeling went away Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
jerryskids 5,304 Posted February 18, 2015 I eat a yogurt for breakfast most days which contains probiotics. My farts smell like rose petals and daffodils. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
shotsup 832 Posted February 18, 2015 My farts smell like beer, beans and coffee. Sprinkle of sugar free chocolate Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
BunnysBastatrds 1,941 Posted February 18, 2015 My farts smell like beer, beans and coffee. Sprinkle of sugar free chocolate Mine will smell like beer, deviled eggs, and Popeyes chicken in the morning. And I won't be free styling it when they start. What rhymes with start? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
kilroy69 1,017 Posted February 18, 2015 You just have to be aware of what it is that is giving you gas. It's probably not the chicken but rather how you prepared it. I cannot eat: milk, ice cream, yogurt, cottage cheese onions beans collard greens, kale and things that contain those ingredients (pizza hut pizza crust has an incredible amount of milk in it so I must avoid it, even gum has sorbitol in it which gives me gas too.) did you know three fourths of African-Americans have the potential for symptoms of lactose intolerance? the more ya know Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Voltaire 4,575 Posted February 18, 2015 Mine will smell like beer, deviled eggs, and Popeyes chicken in the morning. And I won't be free styling it when they start. What rhymes with start?BunnysBastatrd Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
