Frozenbeernuts 1,652 Posted June 28, 2018 Sack the fock up and quit the look at me threads. Here you go. I feel terrible for you. I also assume there were crap ass decisions you made to get you where you are today. Why are you such a miserable prlck? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
NorthernVike 2,080 Posted June 28, 2018 Perhaps she has been dishonest and unfaithful and I have some trust issues. Sounds like she is the one in need of counseling. And if she's not wiling...... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
fricker66 91 Posted June 28, 2018 Perhaps she has been dishonest and unfaithful and I have some trust issues. See? That wasn't so difficult now, was it? So, you don't trust her because she cheated on you and lied about it (and/or other things, perhaps). I don't blame you. Given this backdrop, I agree with whomever said it earlier in this thread that you and she need to see a counselor together. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
jerryskids 5,206 Posted June 28, 2018 Perhaps she has been dishonest and unfaithful and I have some trust issues. I figured it is on this spectrum, but my questions are: 1. Was it physical unfaithfulness, or emotional? Perhaps more importantly: 2. Is she still emotionally (or physically) involved with someone else, and/or is she staying emotionally distant from you? This latter one seems like Bunny's wife's problem; I don't know that she had an affair but she has decided it is over and just can't seem to reapply herself to the marriage. If your wife cheated on you, I'm not going to tell you that you should forgive her. But if she is remorseful and wants to make things work, and you do as well... that's what councilors are for. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
penultimatestraw 473 Posted June 28, 2018 See? That wasn't so difficult now, was it? So, you don't trust her because she cheated on you and lied about it (and/or other things, perhaps). I don't blame you. Given this backdrop, I agree with whomever said it earlier in this thread that you and she need to see a counselor together. Or they should see counselors individually then as a couple. There really is no harm to cmh getting the ball rolling. At the minimum, it show good faith in trying to improve the situation Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
fricker66 91 Posted June 28, 2018 Or they should see counselors individually then as a couple. There really is no harm to cmh getting the ball rolling. At the minimum, it show good faith in trying to improve the situation Agreed, but it can't be a one-way street ultimately. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
vuduchile 1,941 Posted June 28, 2018 See? That wasn't so difficult now, was it? So, you don't trust her because she cheated on you and lied about it (and/or other things, perhaps). I don't blame you. Given this backdrop, I agree with whomever said it earlier in this thread that you and she need to see a counselor together. Cheating is a hard thing to forgive. Ive never been able to. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
cmh6476 752 Posted June 28, 2018 I figured it is on this spectrum, but my questions are: 1. Was it physical unfaithfulness, or emotional? Perhaps more importantly: 2. Is she still emotionally (or physically) involved with someone else, and/or is she staying emotionally distant from you? This latter one seems like Bunny's wife's problem; I don't know that she had an affair but she has decided it is over and just can't seem to reapply herself to the marriage. If your wife cheated on you, I'm not going to tell you that you should forgive her. But if she is remorseful and wants to make things work, and you do as well... that's what councilors are for. it seems, she immediately realized her mistake and was remorseful. Cut off any and all communication and indicated that it if it ever got to that point again would end our relationship before making the same mistake. I just can't seem to let it go. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
jerryskids 5,206 Posted June 28, 2018 it seems, she immediately realized her mistake and was remorseful. Cut off any and all communication and indicated that it if it ever got to that point again would end our relationship before making the same mistake. I just can't seem to let it go. You say "it seems," do you doubt her? Also, the second sentence is sorta weird, did she not commit to never doing it again? Did something actually happen or was it more of an emotional connection? Regardless this seems like a classic area where a good counselor could help. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
NorthernVike 2,080 Posted June 29, 2018 Sounds like she owes you a free pass. j/k Good luck man. When you loose trust, relationships are hard to maintain. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Patriotsfatboy1 1,432 Posted June 29, 2018 You say "it seems," do you doubt her? Also, the second sentence is sorta weird, did she not commit to never doing it again? Did something actually happen or was it more of an emotional connection? Regardless this seems like a classic area where a good counselor could help. She probably talked to a Democrat. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
IMMensaMind 459 Posted June 29, 2018 This has been the worst week of my life in terms of my marriage. First time in my life I have moved out of the house and we have been married for 12 years. We sat the kids down this week (8, 11, 13) and explained to them what was going on and that we didn't know what the future would hold. I feel like I have turned a corner and now I have to change some things as I don't want to lose everything we've built together. I still don't know how this will turn out. My wife has heard me say for years that things will be different, but finally this week she seems to have given up hope that it will. Now I'm doing my best to convince her that it really will. I have really become isolated and introverted the past couple years. I keep way too much inside, lack friends that I can honestly and open share my struggles with and really don't communicate much with the wife. I feel bitter and angry and have a hard time forgiving her for something that has happened in the past. These past couple days, because of how low things have been I finally feel that I am opening up to her and trying to communicate more. My company offers a great EAP program. We are able to see a counselor at no cost to us; up to three visits together and three visits individually for both me and her are available to us. I'm not sure she wants to do it, as we tried a free counselor at church a few years ago but didn't really see much progress there. I am working to set up my individual visits and I hope she will join me for the three we have available to us together. I'm right there with you man. I haven't let it go as long as you have, but if something doesn't change for us we are going to be in the exact same situation that you seem to be in now. I don't know what advice I can offer you but I hope something changes for us because I love my wife and I want us to be happy together. I am more interested in fixing us than I am in how this impacts the kids. I know no matter what happens the two of us will do everything we can to be there and support our kids and not drag them down with us. However, the one thing I really did pick up on from the counselor at church is that if you are going to succeed in marriage your spouse needs to come right after your love for God. As much as I love my kids, I can honestly say I love my wife more even though sh1t's about as bad as it can be right now. It's a struggle. I feel for you and I hope you are able to make the best of what seems to be a bad situation. And, I hope I'm able to change course at home because I will be devastated if I have to figure out my life without her. You love your wife more than your kids? I'm surprised enough by that to react with a response. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
vuduchile 1,941 Posted June 29, 2018 You love your wife more than your kids? I'm surprised enough by that to react with a response. Different kind of love. Hard for me to place a value on one type over the other. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
cmh6476 752 Posted June 29, 2018 You love your wife more than your kids? I'm surprised enough by that to react with a response. what the church counselor suggested is that for everything to be in its place you need to place your spouse right after God. I have an unconditional love for my kids that will never waiver. I would die for my kids. But vudu is right, it is a different kind of love I share with my spouse. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
NorthernVike 2,080 Posted June 29, 2018 Meh, Kids > Wife > God Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
IMMensaMind 459 Posted June 29, 2018 Different kind of love. Hard for me to place a value on one type over the other. That's more where I was going - but to quantify 'wife love' as "more" almost shocked me. 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Rusty Syringes 478 Posted June 29, 2018 Wow, I seem to have missed a lot. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
jerryskids 5,206 Posted June 29, 2018 Wow, I seem to have missed a lot. Not really, this place is kinda like this. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
shorepatrol 1,737 Posted June 29, 2018 Perhaps she has been dishonest and unfaithful and I have some trust issues. Unfaithful? BYE B!TCH 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
shotsup 832 Posted June 29, 2018 I checked out when you brought god into it Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
