Had marriage counseling last nite

[davebg 0]

Mrs. DaveBG was NONE too pleased.

 

Our homework from last week was to have a nice date nite on Sat...dinner, drinks, sex.

 

We did and it was OK...a little awkward at times, but OK.

 

So, this week the doc wanted to do some communication exercise where we're supposed to phrase things like an invitation and the other person responds in a polite manner.

 

He asks one of us to start. Mrs. daveBG had nothing, so I gave it a whirl.

 

I asked/called her out on why she couldn't have dressed all sexy for date nite. First, I started w/the lingere.

 

Mrs. DaveBG: I was wearing nice underwear.

 

DaveBG: Looked like the same beige padded bra you always wear & some new blue panties. May have been nice, but certainly not sexy.

 

Then I got into her not wearing a sexy outfit.

 

Mrs. DaveBG: I wore something nice.

 

DaveBG: I didn't say you didn't wear something nice...I said you didn't wear something sexy.

 

Mrs. DaveBG: What sexy outfit?

 

DaveBG: EXACTLY!!! You don't have/wear any!

 

Mrs. DaveBG: Why should I dress sexy?

 

DaveBG: BECAUSE YOU ARE A WOMAN AND I AM A MAN!!! If you were single in the city and going out on a hot date w/a guy you liked you'd do it, right?

 

Mrs. DaveBG: <makes a face>

 

DaveBG: You are a prude.

 

Doc: I really don't think DaveBG is making an unreasonable request.

 

DaveBG: Yeah, it's not like I asked you to break out the 6 inch stilettos and gimp mask.

 

Doc: Yeah, that's for next time...jk

 

Mrs. DaveBG: Why should I do it...you are so mean to me.

 

Doc: Sorry, you can't answer his invitation w/a condition...that's not how this exercise works.

 

DaveBG:

 

Mrs. DaveBG: Why is it always about what I do wrong...things DaveBG doesn't like?

 

DaveBG: You had an opportunity to bring up something that you don't like about me for this exercise, but you didn't want to, so I took the lead and we're talking about what I want to talk about. You had your chance.

 

Doc: He's right.

[kutulu 1,724]

Sounds promising.

[Franknbeans 46]

What you fail to realize is you're not winning anything. and you're mean.

[Jessy 0]

How is asking her why she didn't wear something sexy an invitation?

[NewbieJr 541]

I think that this will bring out a lot of inner love.

[cmh6476 1,160]

how long you been married?

[kutulu 1,724]

What's this weeks homework?

[davebg 0]

What you fail to realize is you're not winning anything. and you're mean.

I got to get one of my issues off of my chest...in a situation where we have a referee...I'd say that's a positive thing.

 

And if Mrs. DaveBG wants to talk about me being mean, then she can speak up when it's her turn instead of just sitting there, pretending that everything is OK.

[hoytdwow 202]

What you fail to realize is you're not winning anything. and you're mean.

Yep.

I followed your initial posts about your problems interestedly, but now I think you're a bastard.

[Force of Two 0]

So far everything I have seen posted by you since last year has been awfully negative....either your life is pretty miserable or you are a jerk...Im leaning towards the latter.......it sounds like you probably should be taking some steps in marriage counseling...and having dinner with your wife along with sex is one of those steps...your now putting conditions on it about what she wears and so forth....It would seem that this would be an evolutionary step in the fixing your marriage and sex life ladder.

 

What did you expect a cleavage shirt, no drawers and ATM as nightcap?

[Franknbeans 46]

I got to get one of my issues off of my chest...in a situation where we have a referee...I'd say that's a positive thing.

 

And if Mrs. DaveBG wants to talk about me being mean, then she can speak up when it's her turn instead of just sitting there, pretending that everything is OK.

 

Sounds like it's all about you. Good luck with that.

[CurlyNight 0]

how long you been married?

I think he feels too long.

[cmh6476 1,160]

buy her flowers, meany.

[davebg 0]

How is asking her why she didn't wear something sexy an invitation?

It was an exercise to help us communicate better. So, instead of phrasing it like "You didn't wear anything sexy to date nite." it was more like "It would have been nice if you had worn somethign sexy to date nite...how about next time?"

[Force of Two 0]

I got to get one of my issues off of my chest...in a situation where we have a referee...I'd say that's a positive thing.

 

And if Mrs. DaveBG wants to talk about me being mean, then she can speak up when it's her turn instead of just sitting there, pretending that everything is OK.

 

If this is you going to the attitude you take..I suggest scouting good lawyers

[Cdub100 3,996]

I don't get it.

[davebg 0]

how long you been married?

Married for 4 yrs...been dating on & off since Oct of 93.

[SmartassBoiler 0]

What did you expect a cleavage shirt, no drawers and ATM as nightcap?

 

She gets paid?

[Franknbeans 46]

I don't get it.

He's winning... at being mean.

[SigEp316 0]

Why the fock did you marry her in the first place?

 

[Force of Two 0]

She gets paid?

 

huh?

[cmh6476 1,160]

Married for 4 yrs...been dating on & off since Oct of 93.

kids?

[shovelheadt 72]

I've not followed any of your marriage problems, so I'm assuming there's more problems than just how she dresses? But without knowing all the details, you do sound harsh.

[brinett9 0]

I wish the counselor would just shoot both of you.

 

Are they allowed to do that?

[Jessy 0]

It was an exercise to help us communicate better. So, instead of phrasing it like "You didn't wear anything sexy to date nite." it was more like "It would have been nice if you had worn somethign sexy to date nite...how about next time?"

 

Even nicer would be, "Why don't you wear something sexy to our next date night?" And maybe suggest something of hers that you like.

[davebg 0]

So far everything I have seen posted by you since last year has been awfully negative....either your life is pretty miserable or you are a jerk...Im leaning towards the latter.......it sounds like you probably should be taking some steps in marriage counseling...and having dinner with your wife along with sex is one of those steps...your now putting conditions on it about what she wears and so forth....It would seem that this would be an evolutionary step in the fixing your marriage and sex life ladder.

 

What did you expect a cleavage shirt, no drawers and ATM as nightcap?

It was supposed to be something to spice things up and get us attracted to one another again. We were supposed to try new things...like going to a restaurant we had never gone to before.

 

Is it really so unreasonable that her wearing some sexy ligere and something a little more provocative than a bluky sweater and pants would fit into that?

 

I don't think so...neither did the counselor.

[kutulu 1,724]

She always dressing up hot for me.

[davebg 0]

If this is you going to the attitude you take..I suggest scouting good lawyers

That's why we are going to counseling...to get this kind of stuff out there and discuss it.

 

Then, when it's her turn to choose a topic she just sits there. I'm not going to sit there and not talk about the things that bother me or I think need improvement just b/c she's content to sit there as if nothing is wrong...that's how we let things get so bad in the first place.

 

kids?

No

[NewbieJr 541]

Don't consider your talks with the counselor as a trial with him as the judge. You don't "win or lose" these sessions. If you are taking the time to go to counselling, I assume you're doing this becasue you seriously want the marriage to work.

 

Brinette9's wife is cheating on him and going on "business trips" all the time and he still remains loyal. There is a lesson to be learned from him.

[Patriotsfatboy1 1,433]

Even nicer would be, "Why don't you wear something sexy to our next date night?" And maybe suggest something of hers that you like.

 

If he was smart, he would have asked, "How about next time, I buy you something sexy that we can both enjoy for the evening?"

[cmh6476 1,160]

maybe it's just me, but it doesnt matter what my wife wears. She can spend 4 hours getting all dolled up before we go out, or she can throw on some sweats and a T and I think she's beautiful either way.

 

 

I think there's a bigger issue than your wife not wearing something sexy to entice you personally.

 

 

 

Does the marriage counseling seem to be working? Your counselor seems to be eggin you on and attacking the wife, at least in this exercise, which would only lead to your wife becoming disinterested with something that is suppossed to be helping. Maybe it's just this one example though.

[Jessy 0]

If he was smart, he would have asked, "How about next time, I buy you something sexy that we can both enjoy for the evening?"

 

Not every man can be as smooth as you, PFB.

[parrot 790]

Be honest, you probably didn't even trim your nose-hairs for the date did you?

[kutulu 1,724]

Can you sleep with one eye open?

[hoytdwow 202]

Can you sleep with one eye open?

Enter Sandman!

[Rusty Syringes 479]

I'm glad to see your soap box derby race to divorce has found a steep downhill.

[davebg 0]

Don't consider your talks with the counselor as a trial with him as the judge. You don't "win or lose" these sessions. If you are taking the time to go to counselling, I assume you're doing this becasue you seriously want the marriage to work.

 

Brinette9's wife is cheating on him and going on "business trips" all the time and he still remains loyal. There is a lesson to be learned from him.

It's not like that...it just happened to work out like that this time. In fact, at one point the counselor had to stop and say that he didn't mean to seem like he was favoring me over her, but that he happened to agree w/me on all points last nite.

 

Then Brinette9 is a cukholded sissy-pants?

[Patriotsfatboy1 1,433]

If he was smart, he would have asked, "How about next time, I buy you something sexy that we can both enjoy for the evening?"

 

Not every man can be as smooth as you, PFB.

 

I never said that I would have said that. I said "if he were smart".

[Force of Two 0]

That's why we are going to counseling...to get this kind of stuff out there and discuss it.

 

Then, when it's her turn to choose a topic she just sits there. I'm not going to sit there and not talk about the things that bother me or I think need improvement just b/c she's content to sit there as if nothing is wrong...that's how we let things get so bad in the first place.

No

 

Maybe she doesnt talk becuase A. you sound like a real bully B. the counselor seems to be favoring your views

 

I dont see the ultimate issue here...she ended up having sex with you...was that okay....what did you guys do on the date...what was the conversation like?.....It sounds to me like you were waiting to pounce on her at the first indiscretion she made......

[hoytdwow 202]

Do you have any thoughts on why we all think you're a jerk all of a sudden?