Need help with something

[Voltaire 4,567]

I'm having a problem and I could use some specialized advice on how to handle it, but I can't find the answers on the internet. Also, living overseas, I don't really know where to look or who to ask. If somebody is willing to spend some time on phone calls to help me out, I'd appreciate it because it's real important.

 

I'll tell you all about it in a PM.

[Toro 1]

If it is a programming issue regarding Spring configuration, Hibernate models or basically anything in the J2EE suite of tools, then I am your man.

 

 

Do you need legal advice?

[Blitzen 0]

The answer is 42.

[Voltaire 4,567]

Ay, maybe I shouldn't be so secretive.

 

There's complications regarding my wife's pregnancy. The doctors will see how things go for a few days but if the situation doesn't get better, will recomend an abortion. Now we want the baby really badly; we're very excited. Abortion in China is treated like an apendectomy or pulling of wisdom teeth. I don't really want to rely on Chinese doctor's recommendations for abortion because I'm not, at present, convinced that my wife's life is endangered.

[spottedowl 1]

Is it a plumbing question?

[frank 2,152]

The answer is 42.

 

What's the question?

 

Ay, maybe I shouldn't be so secretive.

 

There's complications regarding my wife's pregnancy. The doctors will see how things go for a few days but if the situation doesn't get better, will recomend an abortion. Now we want the baby really badly; we're very excited. Abortion in China is treated like an apendectomy or pulling of wisdom teeth. I don't really want to rely on Chinese doctor's recommendations for abortion because I'm not, at present, convinced that my wife's life is endangered.

 

 

Get on a plane. If you can't miss work, surely she can.

[Voltaire 4,567]

The fetus has attached in the uterus but very, very near the fillopean tube opening. This isn't an ectopic pregancy or maybe it's so close it still counts, I don't know.

My wife has no symptoms, no pain, no bleeding. Doctors just don't like where the baby is.

 

They're going to wait a few days, see if the fetus oves into a better position, if not then recommend an abortion. Like I said, Chinese culture with abortion is very different than in the US. These same nice, warm, smiling ladies recommending abortion to us are the same people that are performing abortions on unwilling mothers -by force if necessary- for the good of the country as the front lines of the one child policy. Abortion in China is the moral equivlent of pulling wisdom teeth or a preventative appendectomy. So I don't trust their judgement.

 

This pregancy is very wanted, very planned, we're both very excited.

 

"This fetus is in a dangerous place, why don't you just try again?"

 

Well, I uh, I like this one. I don't want to lose this one.

 

So anyways, after looking up pregnancy complications for a few hours, I'm just not seeing anything that says what happens if the fetus attaches in the uterus but very close to the fillopean tubes. What I'm seeing is, we're in the uterus, we're good to go. Proximity to the fillopean tubes isn't mentioned.

 

Thus my confusion.

[frank 2,152]

If you can't get on a plane, I'm sure you can get a US doctor on the phone and/or get them a copy of your tests/ultrasound/whatever and see what they think.

[Voltaire 4,567]

If you can't get on a plane, I'm sure you can get a US doctor on the phone and/or get them a copy of your tests/ultrasound/whatever and see what they think.

 

I can't read the medical report but apparently mom and baby are both doing fine, normal. The problem is on the untrasound. If you think of the untrasound as a map of the US, the safest place to have the fetus attach in Kansas; ours is top left, somewhere in the vicinity of Seattle, still in the uterus, but barely. Now if it was attached in Vancouver, it would be a disaster. But it's not, it's just a matter of the proximity to Vancouver.

 

If that makes sense.

[naomi 343]

Wow, agree with Frank. Talk to a US doctor about it, if you haven't yet. If nothing on the net is definintive enough, that's exactly what you need to do. Hope everything works out right, sounds tough figuring it out over there.

[sheadtoo 1]

Wow, agree with Frank. Talk to a US doctor about it, if you haven't yet. If nothing on the net is definintive enough, that's exactly what you need to do. Hope everything works out right, sounds tough figuring it out over there.

 

Have you tried contacting the us embassy and see if they can't get you in touch with a doc in the US or for that matter if they don't have one on site.

[patweisers44 700]

Nothing medical to add, but keeping you, your wife, and baby in my thoughts.

[Ravens 03 0]

Good luck man.

 

Sorry I am no help.

[Voltaire 4,567]

Right now, the fetus is way up in the top left of the uterus. They want to see if it moves in the next three days, I'm not sure that a 56 day old fetus moves very much, I think it's implanted and attached where it's at but I don't know.

 

Since writing this, I've been scouring the intenet for details and my knowledge on the subject has grown exponentially. There's some minimally invasive technique called diagnostic laparoscopy. They'd cut a small incision in the womb near her belly button and insert a mini-camera. I heard about it at a British site, they've only become common in the UK in the last five years. I'm going to recommend this to the doctor here. I doubt this hospital has that equipment, this is certain;y a case that would warrent it.

 

Apparently, ectopic pregancies can be first diagnosed with the ultrasound even if the mom has no symptoms. I didn't like reading that too much. But of course, no symptoms gives us hope.

 

It's certainly not a classical ectopic. There's still a decent chance we have enough clearence from the fillopean tube that we'll be fine.

 

What I'm going to do now is wait for the second ultrasound and see what that's like. In the meantime, I'm going to try to find out where the nearest laparoscopy equipment used for maternity is to Chengdu. I'm working off of little sleep, went to bed around 2:30 (just after the Rhodes TD in the Indy game) got up an hour and a half ago (6:00).

 

This Chinese hospital, it hasn't got much. I have to bring my wife a washtub, toothpaste towels, soap, toiletpaper, pajamas etc. I forgot her panties, have to bring that this morning. Saw a man escorting his wife (or GF) she could barely move, no wheelchair, he was really struggling, took her to the women's room, looks around for help, then takes her in himself.

 

Anyways, due to this, I doubt that they have a laparoscopy machine. Like I said, it's only become common in the UK in the last five years and Chinese medical practice is at least 10-15 years behind the UK. Hopefully someone there's heard of it and knows where one is though.

[jerryskids 5,215]

I'm not a doctor but as an engineer... if I think of the uterus as a ball, why does it matter where in the ball the fetus attaches? It should just grow and fill the ball, no? By no means take my non-medical advice, but I understand your concerns, and would definitely get a US opinion. At a minimum, the question I posed above should be answerable.

 

GL.

[Old School 360]

Wow, agree with Frank. Talk to a US doctor about it, if you haven't yet. If nothing on the net is definintive enough, that's exactly what you need to do. Hope everything works out right, sounds tough figuring it out over there.

 

He's working on a 12 or 14 hour time difference, which makes timing of phone calls to the states very difficult.

As for flying her out of the country, you have no idea how difficuct this is.

 

GL Voltaire- sending positive thoughts your way.

[frank 2,152]

He's working on a 12 or 14 hour time difference, which makes timing of phone calls to the states very difficult.

 

 

He could call around 10PM or midnight his time.

[spottedowl 1]

Fly her to Mexico so she can walk across the border and get free health care in California.

[redtodd 7]

I don't see the benefit of an abortion unless there is absolutely no hope in a live birth or if there is a serious threat to Mother's life.

 

Coming from someone who has lost a child at birth, I wish you all the best. The uncertainty of what you are going through right now is torture. Try your best to stay strong, be there for wife as much as you can don't give up on the baby prematurely. Unless you know for sure, if you abort the baby, you and your wife will always second guess yourself and that is not healthy for your marriage.

 

I am not religious, so I can't say I will pray. But I will send positive thoughts your way. If things take a turn for the worst, you can email me any time to discuss. These things are best to get off your chest. I had a hard time talking about it when I was going through it, but when I did talk about it, I typically felt better after.

 

Good luck, man!!!

[Voltaire 4,567]

Medical insurance is an unknown idea in China. Everything is paid out of pocket but because it's so cheap, I have no problem affording this (unless we get a chronic expensive disaster). Something like this we can handle. Returning to the States is another thing altogether, I'd have to play the indigent veteran who hasn't had a job for 7 years card. Tell 'em I moved into Chris Farley's abandoned van or something.

 

I'm starting to warm to the Chinese doctors. I didn't want to trust their advice. Still p*ssed off than one of them told my wife that it's not good to eat salads when your pregnant so my wife is spooked and doesn't touch salads anymore. (The Chinese eat fruit raw but cook everything else, it the Japanese who eat all that raw food. I was thinking no salad is cultural bias, not sound advice. When I confirmed it online I was p*ssed, wife won't listen though). So I had a bad first impression with these doctors. The doctors want to wait and see if the fetus moves away from the fallopian tube opening.

 

My current understanding, and a lot of technical stuff is lost in translation so maybe I'm wrong, apparently the fetus is still smaller than the tube opeing at this point and if it grows to close, it can get wedged in there.

Or maybe I didn't understand. That contradicts what I was thinking yesterday which is they couldn't see the tube opening on the ultrasound because the fetus was blocking it.

 

They're talking about waiting to see if the fetus moves more medially. Another thing I don't understand. My wife had had some mild bleeding when she first got pregnant, we thought it was an early onset period. It was explained as very common and that's what happens when the fetus attaches. So I was thinking once it attaches, that's it, that's the spot the placenta grows at. I can't imagine how the fetus moves. Heck, maybe I got the info wrong the first time, maybe it didn't attach, maybe it's still floating. But I wouldn't understand how it gets nourised unless it attaches.

 

Is it attached? is it moving? Can it do both? I'm only half understanding the answers I'm getting.

 

We'll do it their way for now. I see no harm in waiting and monitoring my wife in a few days with another ultrasound. If they do recommend an abortion, we'll wait and get this laparoscopy exam.

 

Sitting at my wife's hospital bed typing this right now on the laptop.

[Voltaire 4,567]

I don't see the benefit of an abortion unless there is absolutely no hope in a live birth or if there is a serious threat to Mother's life.

 

Coming from someone who has lost a child at birth, I wish you all the best. The uncertainty of what you are going through right now is torture. Try your best to stay strong, be there for wife as much as you can don't give up on the baby prematurely. Unless you know for sure, if you abort the baby, you and your wife will always second guess yourself and that is not healthy for your marriage.

 

I am not religious, so I can't say I will pray. But I will send positive thoughts your way. If things take a turn for the worst, you can email me any time to discuss. These things are best to get off your chest. I had a hard time talking about it when I was going through it, but when I did talk about it, I typically felt better after.

 

Good luck, man!!!

 

We don't want an abortion. This is very planned, very wanted, we were both very excited. The doctors here are numb to the concept that abortion is more than just any other procedure. The culture embraces it. In China, Ob/Gyn doctors are the front lines of the one child policy. And there are nasty stories. These doctors have a reputation, and I have to believe ours are guilty as well, to have performed coerced abortions by physically restraining uncooperative, unwilling, screaming, crying women.

 

Man I don't want to think about this.

[Concrete Charlie 0]

I have no medical training so i can't offer that sort of advice to you. But i am willing to contact someone i know who may be able to give an opinion. I will email you ASAP if he has anything to add.

 

The gov't policy promoting abortions has me thinking that, possibly, your's is not a situation calling for intervention, but rather an opportunity for one more abortion they can claim.

Do you know if there are incentives offered to the medical community for performing abortions?

[foxboro74 0]

I'm sorry to hear your problem, but my advice would be to talk to an american doc and wait it out to see

if it grows to be healthy and if it does then you made the right choice.

[Know Doubt 0]

Sorry, cannot help, however...

 

 

T&P factory going 24/7!

[Voltaire 4,567]

I have no medical training so i can't offer that sort of advice to you. But i am willing to contact someone i know who may be able to give an opinion. I will email you ASAP if he has anything to add.

 

The gov't policy promoting abortions has me thinking that, possibly, your's is not a situation calling for intervention, but rather an opportunity for one more abortion they can claim.

Do you know if there are incentives offered to the medical community for performing abortions?

 

Thanks.

 

Spending my second day at the hospital to be with my otherwise normal wife. So bored. Turned on the laptop computer. I went out to the grand opening of a new all-you-can-eat pizza place at lunch and stuffed my face. I still feel full.

 

I don't watch much TV in China, but there's not much going on at the hospital and my wife of course loves her Korean soap opera. So last night, I was watching as the show ends and my wife starts channel surfing. For a split second, I saw a flash on the screen of some big guy lifting heavy weights in some comp with the MetRx logo in the background and I immediatly knew. I was like "Hey, hey put that back on." The World's Strongest Man Competition. Fock Yeah. I use to love that, but hadn't thought about it in years. Apparently they were in China in September filming the 2006 event. So we watched and she got into it too, now she digs it, the girl in the other bed and the nurse all did too. And what luck too, this episode was the first day, so I didn't/won't miss any but the first little bit of the first episode. The interviews were in English and not voice overed, just with Chinese subtitles. Cool.

 

Small thing to be grateful for, I know. Hopefully it's the first signal my luck is changing. Looking forward to episode two in a few hours.

[Franknbeans 46]

Got nothing Voltaire except good wishes for you and the wife. Hope it all turns out as you desire.

[dolfan06 1]

The only suggestion I'd have, which doesn't seem workable in your case, is to move to a country with a modern health care system.

[joneo 529]

http://www.middakotaclinic.com/location/details.asp?ID=10

 

Above is a link for you. My wife and I have personally had dealings with Dr. Rany Corfman and would HIGHLY recommend you contact him. I would trust this guy with any fertility issue.

[Voltaire 4,567]

http://www.middakotaclinic.com/location/details.asp?ID=10

 

Above is a link for you. My wife and I have personally had dealings with Dr. Rany Corfman and would HIGHLY recommend you contact him. I would trust this guy with any fertility issue.

 

Thanks. This is the kind of thing I need.

 

Tomorrow or the day after they'll take a second ultrasound. If things are OK, then great. If not, I suspect they'll recommend an abortion. At that point, I'm going to ask for a second opinion from a doctor that can perform a laproscopic exam. This clinic has an 800 number and I'll call at that point.

 

I've got a friend who knows a medical student and has told me this student will translate my wife/child's condition and the different tests done into English.

 

October 1st is Chinese Independence Day and lots of things shut down for a full week. Lots of patriotic red Army cr@p on TV this week, including right at this moment. My wife and I aren't working; she chose this time to get her exam not just because it was the appropriate time for it but also because she didn't want to take time off her job to do it.

 

Anyways, that's why I can give her the Rocky II bedside treatment. A postive thing is that it's pulled us closer together, she'd been really irritable and grumpy for over a month, since this happened she's more cuddly.

[Fervid Ro 0]

hugmeat V-

t and ps your way.

[Voltaire 4,567]

I have no medical training so i can't offer that sort of advice to you. But i am willing to contact someone i know who may be able to give an opinion. I will email you ASAP if he has anything to add.

 

The gov't policy promoting abortions has me thinking that, possibly, your's is not a situation calling for intervention, but rather an opportunity for one more abortion they can claim.

Do you know if there are incentives offered to the medical community for performing abortions?

 

I don't know that the one child policy really affects us. We're married, I'm foreign, and this would be our first child so we don't have much to fear from that.

 

Now, so far as money in health care goes, the same problem exists all over the world. There's a financial disincentive for doctors advising against surgical procedures. I mean they don't make any money if my wife is OK and they just send us home. But keeping her in the hospital, running tests, performing an abortion, I pay for all these things. You run the risk of getting financially squeezed in any health care envinronment, that's international.

 

I haven't felt they've done anything particularly wrong and I don't feel like a cash cow (yet).

 

They've diagnosed my wife as a 宫角 pregnancy. The med student can't find the condition in an English medical translation dictionary. The first word 'gong' is 'palace' the second 'jiao' is 'angle'. Palace? Angle? Palace angle? WTF? Chinese is like this, it's a visual language. I imagine some ancient Chinese doctor dissecting a uterus and saying 'this part here looks like the angle of a palace'.

 

Like I said, it means the baby is in the corner of the uterus -ay hopefuly in the uterus- near the opening of the fallopian tube. A fertilized egg is supposed to flow through the tube, bounces off the cillia lining, and attach in the uterus. If it attaches in the tube, it's ectopic. Ectopic means it cannot survive and jeopardizes the mother's life. Ours, hopefully, probably, made it out of the tube. But if it did, not very far. Hopefully it's not in the opening of the tube, maybe it's a millimeter away, maybe a centimeter. Obviously, the further away towards the center of the uterus the better.

[Voltaire 4,567]

Great news. Whatever the doctors were looking for (meaning the baby moving) happened. Well, it's still not perfect, but it's heading in the right direction. I can't explain, I'd need to be a better poet to say how wonderful listening to the doctor and watching Shen Juan's smile grow and grow. I haven't seen that smile for a long time; even in the weeks before we came to the hospital she was usually irritable and generally miserable to be around.

 

Then watching her on the phone with her mom, she was so happy. Laying on her hospital bed with a big smile, a real Kodak moment, but I don't have a camera. Oh what a relief.

 

The doctor was recommending that my wife not work but I already knew before Shen Juan told me that this advice would not be heeded. Earlier this morning, I was so ready to go to war with this doctor, later as it began to dawn on me how cute she is, even in that ugly baggy white robe, I had to supress the urge to kiss her on the forehead.

 

I'd still like to get more information because I still don't fully understand everything and I'm not 100% certain everything is OK. Mostly, I'd like to know the English name for a gong jiao pregnancy.

 

But today is a happy day.

[Big Blue 06 195]

Glad things are turning in the right direction for you. Good luck and T&P for you guys.

[Voltaire 4,567]

Glad things are turning in the right direction for you. Good luck and T&P for you guys.

 

Things are going great. I thank you and appreciate your celebrating this wonderful news together with us. I hadn't paid much attention but I'm vaguely aware your team beat mine today. I'm the happiest Tiger fan on earth today, I've been in full rejoicing celebration mode for an hour and a half. My personal World Series is already won.

[yanko 11]

I wish you the best but why the hell are you looking for help at a focking fantasy football site? Is this really Reggie Bush's illegitimate child?

[joneo 529]

If you need any answers, please refer to my link.

 

 

Things are going great. I thank you and appreciate your celebrating this wonderful news together with us. I hadn't paid much attention but I'm vaguely aware your team beat mine today. I'm the happiest Tiger fan on earth today, I've been in full rejoicing celebration mode for an hour and a half. My personal World Series is already won.

 

 

News flash: Tigers suck.

[jerryskids 5,215]

Great news. Whatever the doctors were looking for (meaning the baby moving) happened. Well, it's still not perfect, but it's heading in the right direction. I can't explain, I'd need to be a better poet to say how wonderful listening to the doctor and watching Shen Juan's smile grow and grow. I haven't seen that smile for a long time; even in the weeks before we came to the hospital she was usually irritable and generally miserable to be around.

 

Then watching her on the phone with her mom, she was so happy. Laying on her hospital bed with a big smile, a real Kodak moment, but I don't have a camera. Oh what a relief.

 

The doctor was recommending that my wife not work but I already knew before Shen Juan told me that this advice would not be heeded. Earlier this morning, I was so ready to go to war with this doctor, later as it began to dawn on me how cute she is, even in that ugly baggy white robe, I had to supress the urge to kiss her on the forehead.

 

I'd still like to get more information because I still don't fully understand everything and I'm not 100% certain everything is OK. Mostly, I'd like to know the English name for a gong jiao pregnancy.

 

But today is a happy day.

Man, I couldn't be happier for ya. Although I don't understand the urge to supress the urge to kiss her on the forehead. Enjoy this moment, moments like these make living worthwhile. Give that girl a big sloppy kiss on the forehead.

[joneo 529]

Man, I couldn't be happier for ya. Although I don't understand the urge to supress the urge to kiss her on the forehead. Enjoy this moment, moments like these make living worthwhile. Give that girl a big sloppy kiss on the forehead.

 

and splooge on her face.

[Concrete Charlie 0]

Great news. Whatever the doctors were looking for (meaning the baby moving) happened. Well, it's still not perfect, but it's heading in the right direction. I can't explain, I'd need to be a better poet to say how wonderful listening to the doctor and watching Shen Juan's smile grow and grow. I haven't seen that smile for a long time; even in the weeks before we came to the hospital she was usually irritable and generally miserable to be around.

 

Then watching her on the phone with her mom, she was so happy. Laying on her hospital bed with a big smile, a real Kodak moment, but I don't have a camera. Oh what a relief.

 

The doctor was recommending that my wife not work but I already knew before Shen Juan told me that this advice would not be heeded. Earlier this morning, I was so ready to go to war with this doctor, later as it began to dawn on me how cute she is, even in that ugly baggy white robe, I had to supress the urge to kiss her on the forehead.

 

I'd still like to get more information because I still don't fully understand everything and I'm not 100% certain everything is OK. Mostly, I'd like to know the English name for a gong jiao pregnancy.

 

But today is a happy day.

 

 

 

nice

[Fervid Ro 0]

Great news.

But today is a happy day.

Hey-

the geek club remote prayers must have worked!