Bathroom attendants!

[thetxstang 0]

So, I went to a local watering hole with some of the fellas one evening last week. At some point (i.e., five or so pints later), nature called and I decided to visit the facilities. I felt some sense of dread when I stumbled in and noticed an attendant smiling by the sink area. I instantly knew the drill. I'd soon be parting with a hard earned dollar for a "service" I absolutely didn't care for. Oh, I might get a nice mint out of the deal, but that would be it.

 

At any rate, I finished up my business and headed over to wash my hands. I wasn't able to do much of anything for myself. The guy squirted some liquid soap into one of my mitts, and handed me a crumpled up paper towel afterwards. But here's the part that about did me in: The guy massaged my shoulders while I washed and dried my hands.

 

I can't say I've ever felt that uncomfortable in a bathroom. Your garden-variety bathroom attendant may be one thing, but a massaging attendant is another. I had to pee like a racehorse later on in the evening, but I elected to hold it in until I got home.

 

Final thoughts: My wallet may have been 1 clam lighter when I left the restroom, and I felt really uncomfortable with the whole massage thing, but I can feel smug in knowing I left some delightfully toxic fumes for the attendant to inhale. It's all a wash, I suppose.

[Drizzay 645]

What YMCA were you at?

[IrishDrunk 0]

So, I went to a local watering hole with some of the fellas one evening last week. At some point (i.e., five or so pints later), nature called and I decided to visit the facilities. I felt some sense of dread when I stumbled in and noticed an attendant smiling by the sink area. I instantly knew the drill. I'd soon be parting with a hard earned dollar for a "service" I absolutely didn't care for. Oh, I might get a nice mint out of the deal, but that would be it.

 

At any rate, I finished up my business and headed over to wash my hands. I wasn't able to do much of anything for myself. The guy squirted some liquid soap into one of my mitts, and handed me a crumpled up paper towel afterwards. But here's the part that about did me in: The guy put his cack in my arse while I dried my hands.

 

I can't say I've ever felt that uncomfortable in a bathroom. Your garden-variety bathroom attendant may be one thing, but a massaging attendant is another. I didn't have to pee later on in the evening, but, I sure as heckfire made my way into the men's room anyway!!!

 

Final thoughts: My wallet may have been 1 clam lighter when I left the restroom, and I felt really uncomfortable with the whole massage thing, but I can feel smug in knowing I left some delightfully toxic fumes for the attendant to inhale. It's all a wash, I suppose.

 

[thetxstang 0]

What YMCA were you at?

 

The one at Sherlock's Baker St. Pub in north Austin.

[Savage Beast 1]

But here's the part that about did me in: The guy massaged my shoulders while I washed and dried my hands.

 

Was the attendant Asian? Did the message come with a happy ending?

[TimmySmith 2,782]

Shoulder massage.

 

 

 

 

 

reacharound

[NorthernVike 2,080]

BTW that guy dose not work there.

 

 

The police escorted him out shortly after you left.

[wiffleball 4,640]

Never had the massage thing. That would be wierd. - In any context. Not fond of men touching me.

 

However, I've found most bathroom attendants to be good guys. Those guys I have no problem tipping. In fact, when I used to hit a particular strip club, I'd ask the guy what he likes to drink and buy him a drink. Dude's got a rotten job - being treated like shiit, smelling ######, dealing with drunks trying to nab all his stuff - besides, all that cologne and stuff is expensive. The guy's courteous, he's professional - hell, I'd rather give 10 bucks to him than 1 dollar to 10 of the Ngers begging for bucks in my neighborhood.

 

[Savage Beast 1]

Not fond of men touching me.

 

So, you are the pitcher, and not the catcher?

[wiffleball 4,640]

So, you are the pitcher, and not the catcher?

 

I'm sorry, I don't speak gay. Can you translate for me??

[Savage Beast 1]

I'm sorry, I don't speak gay. Can you translate for me??

 

Looks like you translated the question just fine to me.

 

You have found your life's calling, gay speech translator.

[wiffleball 4,640]

Looks like you translated the question just fine to me.

 

You have found your life's calling, gay speech translator.

 

You're not that bright, are ya?

[thetxstang 0]

Was the attendant Asian? Did the message come with a happy ending?

 

Good question. No, the attendant wasn't Asian. He was a giant black dude. He was my height (~ 6'2"), but outweighed me by about 70 pounds or so. I'm no lightweight at 212, but this guy could have easily knocked me into next week. He also had hands the size of a large dinner plate, so I wisely elected not to create a scene.

 

Oh, and no happy ending with said massage.

[thetxstang 0]

Shoulder massage.

reacharound

 

[thetxstang 0]

Never had the massage thing. That would be wierd. - In any context. Not fond of men touching me.

 

However, I've found most bathroom attendants to be good guys. Those guys I have no problem tipping. In fact, when I used to hit a particular strip club, I'd ask the guy what he likes to drink and buy him a drink. Dude's got a rotten job - being treated like shiit, smelling ######, dealing with drunks trying to nab all his stuff - besides, all that cologne and stuff is expensive. The guy's courteous, he's professional - hell, I'd rather give 10 bucks to him than 1 dollar to 10 of the Ngers begging for bucks in my neighborhood.

 

 

You make some great points, wiffle. Mind you, the attitude I'm exhibiting here is, admittedly, a bit tongue-in-cheek. He was probably a nice enough guy, and you're right, he has a rotten job and has to put up with more sh!t than than we can conceive. I feel for anyone that has to work hours upon end in a stink hole (as most mens restrooms are). But, at least the guy has a job and somehow conjures up a smile when his next "client" strolls into the restroom.

 

Still, maybe I'm just not a touchy-feely kinda guy, but I think most men wouldn't particularly enjoy some enormous guy massaging their shoulders in the mens restroom. Unless we're talking about RP, of course.

[listen2me 23 1,542]

What the hell are bathroom attendants? I've never ran into one nor did I know they existed? Why are they needed?

 

I dont get it.

[Savage Beast 1]

What the hell are bathroom attendants? I've never ran into one nor did I know they existed? Why are they needed?

 

I dont get it.

 

How is a man with no arms suposed to go to the bathroom without and attendant?

 

Do you discriminate against the armless?

[IAMWood 6]

The one at Sherlock's Baker St. Pub in north Austin.

 

Is that on Parmer?

[Me_2006 14]

Be thankful you didn't tap your foot to the tune you whistled while taking a piss, especially with Ol' Green Mile hanging out behind you.

[jcechvala 0]

I hate bathroom attendants. Their only purpose to extract tips for just doing their job.

 

My money is for spending in the bar.

[phillybear 364]

Bathroom attendants? Fock them. Tell you what, I know where you live.

 

Every other week, I'll come by your house and sh!t in your mouf. And donbt think itsw that bowl winder stuff. i eat lots of ruit s and begetabels. and fiber. I'll hit you esofagus like an open fire hydrant in an urbane heighborhood. the oteh two week, i'll show up and stick my c0ck in your arse and piss in your butte. focker.

[Me_2006 14]

Bathroom attendants? Fock them. Tell you what, I know where you live.

 

Every other week, I'll come by your house and sh!t in your mouf. And donbt think itsw that bowl winder stuff. i eat lots of ruit s and begetabels. and fiber. I'll hit you esofagus like an open fire hydrant in an urbane heighborhood. the oteh two week, i'll show up and stick my c0ck in your arse and piss in your butte. focker.

Drunk Phillybear!

[shotsup 832]

I hate bathroom attendants because I tend to take some rather LOUD craaps so I try to wait for everyone to leave - the attendant NEVER leaves. OH Well, fock him.

Suck my stench.

[thetxstang 0]

Is that on Parmer?

 

Nope, it's the Sherlock's at the 183 and Burnet Road intersection. Well, technically it's a block east of Burnet on 183.

 

Have you been there before? If so, have you ever benefited from Tyrone's services in the mens restroom?

[thetxstang 0]

Be thankful you didn't tap your foot to the tune you whistled while taking a piss, especially with Ol' Green Mile hanging out behind you.

 

"Green Mile"? The dude actually kinda of reminded me of that big fella in the movie. I suppose I'm lucky he didn't snap my shoulder blade or something...

[thetxstang 0]

Bathroom attendants? Fock them. Tell you what, I know where you live.

 

Every other week, I'll come by your house and sh!t in your mouf. And donbt think itsw that bowl winder stuff. i eat lots of ruit s and begetabels. and fiber. I'll hit you esofagus like an open fire hydrant in an urbane heighborhood. the oteh two week, i'll show up and stick my c0ck in your arse and piss in your butte. focker.

 

 

and

 

 

and

 

[thetxstang 0]

I hate bathroom attendants because I tend to take some rather LOUD craaps so I try to wait for everyone to leave - the attendant NEVER leaves. OH Well, fock him.

Suck my stench.

 

Remember, you're a dude. You have every right to crank the gas when you're dropping the kids off at the pool, and you aren't required to feel even a tinge of guilt. I think it's one of the official man-laws...

 

On occasion, I like to rip a nice, juicy fart, just to add to the aroma of the room.

 

:alsonotreally:

[shotsup 832]

Remember, you're a dude. You have every right to crank the gas when you're dropping the kids off at the pool, and you aren't required to feel even a tinge of guilt. I think it's one of the official man-laws...

 

On occasion, I like to rip a nice, juicy fart, just to add to the aroma of the room.

 

:alsonotreally:

 

 

I acree but if you sat next to me on that somewhat rare occasion when it is all out freight train SCREAMING out of the staion - its bad. I still follow though but I would rather not have an audience.

 

 

RRRRRRRIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP

[IGotWorms 3,315]

Bathroom attendants? Fock them. Tell you what, I know where you live.

 

Every other week, I'll come by your house and sh!t in your mouf. And donbt think itsw that bowl winder stuff. i eat lots of ruit s and begetabels. and fiber. I'll hit you esofagus like an open fire hydrant in an urbane heighborhood. the oteh two week, i'll show up and stick my c0ck in your arse and piss in your butte. focker.

 

[Confident Joey Harrington 0]

Some of the casinos in Las Vegas have some great bathroom attendants.

[thetxstang 0]

Some of the casinos in Las Vegas have some great bathroom attendants.

 

Do they give shoulder massages, as well?

 

I want to concede a point. While I despise being fussed over when I am ready to wash my fargin' hands, and would love to be left alone, I've always felt sorry for the older gents working the restrooms. Some of the ones I've seen appear to be in their 60s and 70s. It makes me wonder if that's all they have done in their lives. Seems like a crappy (no pun intended) living to begin with, and even more so if that's what their occupation has been for years on end. I always leave them a healthy tip...as long as I don't get massaged.

[naomi 343]

Didn't know bathroom attendants existed either. So you're drunk and he takes the opportunity to massage your shoulders? Nevermind the fact hetero guys don't like being touched by guys...hetero guys don't choose to touch other guys. He had to have been gay or oddly nurturing for a straight guy.

[ERZER 0]

Was the attendant Asian? Did the message come with a happy ending?

 

 

Classic

[$epphori$ 118]

the thought of sum 1 else wiping my a$$ is intriguing.

[nospk 230]

The one at Sherlock's Baker St. Pub in north Austin.

moral of story: no sh!t at Sherlock's.

[NorthernVike 2,080]

Do they give shoulder massages, as well?

 

I want to concede a point. While I despise being fussed over when I am ready to wash my fargin' hands, and would love to be left alone, I've always felt sorry for the older gents working the restrooms. Some of the ones I've seen appear to be in their 60s and 70s. It makes me wonder if that's all they have done in their lives. Seems like a crappy (no pun intended) living to begin with, and even more so if that's what their occupation has been for years on end. I always leave them a healthy tip...as long as I don't get massaged.

 

 

That is why they all retire multi millionaires. They collect big tips from every Tom, D1ck and Harry while they listen to their conversations about their businesses and invest accordingly. They have more insider information than anyone and they use it to their advantage. HTH

[BMoney 0]

there have to be better ways to make a buck...ie..doormen...the ones who greet you at the hotel...give u general info...fock your wife while u and the kids are at the pool...

 

i want my hands to be clean..i dont want anyone else helping me to clean my hands..

 

do i need help lugging up that 3rd bulky bag that my gal insisted on bringing? sure...

 

do i need help washing my hands? no...

 

but if u fear the brother in the bathroom, maybe you would tip..i wouldnt..

 

i had a guy in milwaukee at a stop light..offer to wash my windows for me..i know everyone needs a living..but the fact that a monster storm was rolling in pretty much said no to that idea...

[thetxstang 0]

Didn't know bathroom attendants existed either. So you're drunk and he takes the opportunity to massage your shoulders? Nevermind the fact hetero guys don't like being touched by guys...hetero guys don't choose to touch other guys. He had to have been gay or oddly nurturing for a straight guy.

 

Oh, restroom attendants exist all right. Maybe not in the wimmenz can where you all do your business, but they can be found in the mens room at many of your finer restaurants, pubs, nightclubs, casinos, etc. Heck, as someone mentioned above, they can be viewed in all their glory at airports, of all places.

 

I used to pride myself on my gaydar aptitudes, but sadly, it doesn't function as well as it used to. That said, I'm still about 99.5% positive that Tyrone wasn't . He was very much your typical...er, black gentleman. You know, the kind that had to throw around a bit of steet slang mixed in with some ebonics. There wasn't anything swishy about him. But if I'm wrong, for whatever reason, Tyrone looks like he would be the pitching type.

 

To explain Tyrone's peculiar bathroom maneuvers, I'm latching on to my new theory: I believe he was simply exercising one of his skillz learned at BAU (Bathroom Attendants University). Perhaps all fresh graduates from BAU have been taught this step when "servicing" their clients.

[IrishDrunk 0]

Link

 

Wow.

 

The attendant may turn on the tap and provide soap and towels. An assortment of toiletries may be available for sale or free such as perfume/cologne, mouthwash, chewing gum or cigarettes.

 

In North America, they could previously only be found at extravagant restaurants or bars. More recently they have begun to appear in moderately priced bars.

 

In Asian countries, they may provide a massage and hot face towel.

 

It is thought that such services apply implied pressure to offer financial reward for a conceivably limited service, and as such have seen the discussion of social etiquette in such situations. Bathroom attendants may even pressure the bathroom-goer to accept a spray of aftershave in exchange for a tip.

 

At a moderately priced establishment, a bathroom attendant can make anywhere from $90 to $280 in a matter of five hours (one shift). In a higher priced establishment, an attendant can make upwards of $450 a shift. Most attendants do not make an hourly wage, and are totally reliant upon tips to make an earning, making the wages very conditional upon the amount of patrons entering the bathroom during the course of the shift.

 

90 to 280 a night?! JC.

[thetxstang 0]

Link

In Asian countries, they may provide a massage and hot face towel.

 

But, I don't live in Asia.

 

Maybe more of the Asian bathroom attendant practices are on the way. If so, Tyrone will soon be handing out hot face towels.

 

Great Wikipedia article, by the way. I never thought to look there and I use Wiki all the time.