How common is sharting?

[shovelheadt 71]

Always thought it was an old dude type thing, but I see a bunch of peeps on here talking about it happening once or twice. So how many of you have had it happen, and what's your age?

[RLLD 4,254]

Once ever, was simply trying too hard....

[Patriotsfatboy1 1,432]

You mean today?

[drobeski 3,061]

42 ....got my blackbelt at age 33

[Meglamaniac 535]

42 ....got my blackbelt at age 33

Don't you mean brownbelt?

[Patriotsfatboy1 1,432]

Don't you mean brownbelt?

 

He has gastro-intestinal issues that are unresolved.

[SUXBNME 1,517]

No comment

[shovelheadt 71]

Ok, I'm relieved now. Seems to be more common than I thought.

[BunnysBastatrds 2,460]

When you turn forty, the only time you get to be a true daredevil anymore is when you don't know if it's a sh!t or a fart but you let it rip anyway.

[star69 5]

Every stain this isnt the result of bad wiping is the direct result of a shart...unless u r into some weird stuff.

[Brad GLuckman 519]

I did it once. Ate some bad chicken in Africa for dinner, at least I think that's what it was.

 

Next day I'm in front about 10 guys from the Algerian Army, giving a presentation. So I'm doing my thing, powerpoint and such... and it happened. Nobody noticed, but talk about panicking.

 

So I tell the guys we're going to take a quick break, and tell the guy I'm with to take over...I need to go to the bathroom.

 

Now I don't know if anyone here has ever been to a shithole country before, but they don't always have toilets. These guys just had holes in the ground. When you're done, there is no toilet paper...only a little spray hose to use. It's just absolutely disgusting. I never took a crap there for this reason, I'd always wait to get back to my hotel. Obviously this time I didn't have a choice.

 

So I go into the little "stall" thing. And I manage to take my pants completely off. Mind you I'm trying to do this without letting my feet touch the nasty ass ground there. So I take off one shoe, pull off one pant leg, while balancing on the other foot (still in the other shoe) until they're off.

 

Then I throw the pants over my shoulder, take off my underwear completely, finish shitting, spray off my ass...then I look around. I never thought about this before. WTF do these people dry there ass off with when they're done spraying it? I still have no idea, guess they just walk around with a wet ass all day.

 

So I take my underwear and try to find a spot that isn't covered in shit...and kind of dab around my ass a bit until it's somewhat dry.

 

Now what to do with my underwear? THere is no trash can in this "bathroom". I thought about just leaving them there, but I was paranoid. I thought, do these people even wear underwear? If they do they probably wrap a towel around themselves like a freakin diaper or something. So if I just left it...they'd know it's an American. THere were only two Americans there so that limits it down quite a bit.

So I take my underwear and fold it into my pocket it trying to:

 

1) Not let the shit touch the inside of my pocket

2) Not get my pants all wet from drying my ass off

 

I failed at both.

 

So I leave and I am walking around this place with a giant bulge in my pocket (my underwear) trying to find somewhere to toss it where nobody will know what happened. Mind you, I'm not supposed to go anywhere but the bathroom unescorted. So I try to look nonchalant like, so I light up a cigarette so it looks like I'm just kind of maybe...pacing around while I smoke. I was not too excited about putting my hands anywhere near my mouth after what I just went through. Mind you, I didn't wash my hands. We always brought bottles of antibacterial hand sanitizer but it was back where I was giving the presentation...so I just feel disgusting right about now.

 

Eventually, I threw the underwear away, got back, told the dude I was with I had to go back to the hotel for the day, called the driver and got the hell out of there.

 

Which leads the the creed both I and the guys I work with now live by

 

"Never trust a fart overseas"

 

and that's my sharting story.

[MDC 7,500]

Happened to me maybe 2-3 times in my life. Last time was rough. I was visiting a client for work and when I left, I farted on the way to the car and a little rhea squirted out. I had to stop at a Burger King to finish dumping, wipe my ass clean, wash my boxers off and put a layer of paper towels between my ass crack and my pants like a fvcking maxi pad. It wouldn't have been that bad if I didn't have to drive 2 hours home like that.

 

My sister one time was on the way to a job interview and outright crapped right down her pantyhose. So it could be worse. I can't believe my mom told me that sh1t.

[drobeski 3,061]

Happened to me maybe 2-3 times in my life. Last time was rough. I was visiting a client for work and when I left, I farted on the way to the car and a little rhea squirted out. I had to stop at a Burger King to finish dumping, wipe my ass clean, wash my boxers off and put a layer of paper towels between my ass crack and my pants like a fvcking maxi pad. It wouldn't have been that bad if I didn't have to drive 2 hours home like that.

 

My sister one time was on the way to a job interview and outright crapped right down her pantyhose. So it could be worse. I can't believe my mom told me that sh1t.

It's a tip, underwear is cheap, throw them out

[JTB 52]

Happened to me maybe 2-3 times in my life. Last time was rough. I was visiting a client for work and when I left, I farted on the way to the car and a little rhea squirted out. I had to stop at a Burger King to finish dumping, wipe my ass clean, wash my boxers off and put a layer of paper towels between my ass crack and my pants like a fvcking maxi pad. It wouldn't have been that bad if I didn't have to drive 2 hours home like that.

 

My sister one time was on the way to a job interview and outright crapped right down her pantyhose. So it could be worse. I can't believe my mom told me that sh1t.

 

 

Pantyhose - What the fock?

 

What real women wears those ugly ass things? Oh, that's right MDC's sister!!!!!

[Voltaire 5,322]

I did it once. Ate some bad chicken in Africa for dinner, at least I think that's what it was.

 

Next day I'm in front about 10 guys from the Algerian Army, giving a presentation. So I'm doing my thing, powerpoint and such... and it happened. Nobody noticed, but talk about panicking.

 

So I tell the guys we're going to take a quick break, and tell the guy I'm with to take over...I need to go to the bathroom.

 

Now I don't know if anyone here has ever been to a shithole country before, but they don't always have toilets. These guys just had holes in the ground. When you're done, there is no toilet paper...only a little spray hose to use. It's just absolutely disgusting. I never took a crap there for this reason, I'd always wait to get back to my hotel. Obviously this time I didn't have a choice.

 

So I go into the little "stall" thing. And I manage to take my pants completely off. Mind you I'm trying to do this without letting my feet touch the nasty ass ground there. So I take off one shoe, pull off one pant leg, while balancing on the other foot (still in the other shoe) until they're off.

 

Then I throw the pants over my shoulder, take off my underwear completely, finish shitting, spray off my ass...then I look around. I never thought about this before. WTF do these people dry there ass off with when they're done spraying it? I still have no idea, guess they just walk around with a wet ass all day.

 

So I take my underwear and try to find a spot that isn't covered in shit...and kind of dab around my ass a bit until it's somewhat dry.

 

Now what to do with my underwear? THere is no trash can in this "bathroom". I thought about just leaving them there, but I was paranoid. I thought, do these people even wear underwear? If they do they probably wrap a towel around themselves like a freakin diaper or something. So if I just left it...they'd know it's an American. THere were only two Americans there so that limits it down quite a bit.

So I take my underwear and fold it into my pocket it trying to:

 

1) Not let the shit touch the inside of my pocket

2) Not get my pants all wet from drying my ass off

 

I failed at both.

 

So I leave and I am walking around this place with a giant bulge in my pocket (my underwear) trying to find somewhere to toss it where nobody will know what happened. Mind you, I'm not supposed to go anywhere but the bathroom unescorted. So I try to look nonchalant like, so I light up a cigarette so it looks like I'm just kind of maybe...pacing around while I smoke. I was not too excited about putting my hands anywhere near my mouth after what I just went through. Mind you, I didn't wash my hands. We always brought bottles of antibacterial hand sanitizer but it was back where I was giving the presentation...so I just feel disgusting right about now.

 

Eventually, I threw the underwear away, got back, told the dude I was with I had to go back to the hotel for the day, called the driver and got the hell out of there.

 

Which leads the the creed both I and the guys I work with now live by

 

"Never trust a fart overseas"

 

and that's my sharting story.

 

Yes, I read all of it... I don't know why.

 

My biggest similar story doesn't involve a shart, it involves a long inter-city bus ride in China. I suffer for over an hour but I'll spare you the details. It ends with me getting off one stop before where I wanted, running into an alley with nobody around, launching onto the pavement, and wiping my ass with a plastic bag I had with me.

[MDC 7,500]

It's a tip, underwear is cheap, throw them out

 

I didn't get much on the boxers, just a little squirt and it came out with water. I figured 'why waste a good pair of undies'? :banana;

[IGotWorms 4,059]

Only drunks shart. So yeah it has happened to me a couple of times, but not in a few years.

[joeshushu 51]

Happens to me almost every day that's why I keep a case of underpants in the trunk of my car. It's possible I have some problems. Maybe I got Charlie Angel's butt.