Sperm off to the cvvm filled crepes thread (sorta?). I know I'll get solid advice here

[edjr 5,567]

My 5 year old (6 in August) says to me Sunday.

We are sitting on the couch watching golf. I was watching golf, I guess he was day dreaming of god knows what"

"Dadda, why does my peeper keep getting bigger and then smallerl"

I was like, oh Jesus what do I say. I ended up saying, just leave it alone, don't keep touching it. we will talk about it when you're older. He says "how old, 6, 7, 10"

 

 

[lickin_starfish 1,482]

And you said "I don't know, son. Mine has always been small."

[DonS 3,067]

Maybe you should stop fondling him while watching golf?  

 

(sorry, too easy) 

[bostonlager 2,465]

Just let him figure it out. Once he does he won't leave his room for weeks. 

[edjr 5,567]

Just now, DonS said:

Maybe you should stop fondling him while watching golf?  

 

(sorry, too easy) 

Everyone needs a good waggle?

[dain11279 928]

Shouldn’t you at least wait til he’s in his teens til you start doing coke with him?

[edjr 5,567]

Just now, dain11279 said:

Shouldn’t you at least wait til he’s in his teens til you start doing coke with him?

 

and his mother asks me why he is always snifflin

[Filthy Fernadez 2,696]

Blend it in with golf.

"Son, there are stiff shafts and whippy shafts............."

[vuduchile 1,941]

Just tell him the truth

[fandandy 3,311]

bunnybastrds: Sounds about right.  First time I had sex I was 5.

[edjr 5,567]

4 minutes ago, fandandy said:

bunnybastrds: Sounds about right.  First time I had sex I was 5.

[wiffleball 4,642]

 do you guys ever watch Gladiator movies together?

[edjr 5,567]

1 hour ago, wiffleball said:

 do you guys ever watch Gladiator movies together?

He's too little for that.

[Filthy Fernadez 2,696]

Just now, edjr said:

He's too little for that.

Has he ever been in a Turkish prison?

[DonS 3,067]

Start saving money to make sure he can go to Penn State. 

[Patriotsfatboy1 1,432]

I got nuthin'.  My teenage boys are going to learn about sex the same way that I did - on the streets and by looking at porn.  I had Penthouse, they have the Internet.  They should be fine. 

[edjr 5,567]

4 minutes ago, Patriotsfatboy1 said:

I got nuthin'.  My teenage boys are going to learn about sex the same way that I did - on the streets and by looking at porn.  I had Penthouse, they have the Internet.  They should be fine. 

My father's idea of birds and the bees was "keep it in your sneaker" he said to me before I left for my 1st date. I not only did not keep it in my sneaker, after the 1st time I didn't even keep it in a rubber

[DonS 3,067]

Just now, edjr said:

My father's idea of bids and the bees was "keep it in your sneaker" he said to me before I left for my 1st date

Keep it in your sneaker?  Was he referring to your chloroform soaked rag?  Solid advice, she'll never expect it if you hide it there. 

[edjr 5,567]

2 minutes ago, DonS said:

Keep it in your sneaker?  Was he referring to your chloroform soaked rag?  Solid advice, she'll never expect it if you hide it there. 

Worst part was trying to chase a girl into the woods with one foot asleep.

[TimmySmith 2,782]

I hope it was women's golf.  

[edjr 5,567]

Just now, TimmySmith said:

I hope it was women's golf.  

The way they played this weekend, you'd have thought it was.

[DonS 3,067]

Flash forward 30 years into the future. Junior Edjr is at a sex therapist: "I don't understand it doc, but I can only get an erection if there's men's golf on the TV.  I wish I knew why..." 

 

[tanatastic 2,061]

What’s wrong with the truth? “Son, it’s called an erection, it happens sometimes, dont worry about it.”

[Patriotsfatboy1 1,432]

1 minute ago, tanatastic said:

What’s wrong with the truth? “Son, it’s called an erection, it happens sometimes, dont worry about it.”

Let me guess, you have no kids.  If you had kids, you would know that it doesn't stop there.  You will get hounded with questions like, "What's an erection?", "When does it go down?", "How long does it stay there?", "Do you get erections?", etc., etc., etc.

[edjr 5,567]

2 minutes ago, Patriotsfatboy1 said:

Let me guess, you have no kids.  If you had kids, you would know that it doesn't stop there.  You will get hounded with questions like, "What's an erection?", "When does it go down?", "How long does it stay there?", "Do you get erections?", etc., etc., etc.

Yup. best to leave it alone, so to speak 

[Filthy Fernadez 2,696]

18 minutes ago, Patriotsfatboy1 said:

Let me guess, you have no kids.  If you had kids, you would know that it doesn't stop there.  You will get hounded with questions like, "What's an erection?", "When does it go down?", "How long does it stay there?", "Do you get erections?", etc., etc., etc.

Convo should go "Son, that thing right there will only get you in trouble. Every time it gets up, beat it back down"

[titans&bucs&bearsohmy! 2,745]

4 hours ago, Patriotsfatboy1 said:

Let me guess, you have no kids.  If you had kids, you would know that it doesn't stop there.  You will get hounded with questions like, "What's an erection?", "When does it go down?", "How long does it stay there?", "Do you get erections?", etc., etc., etc.

I don't even have kids and I know this. Then he's running around nursery School showing it to kids and yelling erection over and over.

[wiffleball 4,642]

 no kidding, in the hospital,, the nurses are taught to flick it. It actually works. One solid flick to the tip and that things down for the count.