Geeks who had kids later in life

[naomi 356]

I'm going to be 40 later this year and just recently got married (5 months in). I'm really on the fence about having kids, haven't had the ticking biological clock feeling, but I am feeling like it would be time to try if we're going to do it. And I lean toward going for two if we commit to it.

My husband has a 14-year-old son with his ex-wife. He's great with kids and would be happy with more, but he's also baseline content now. He feels like he'd be happy either way.

Curious to hear from you guys, if any geeks had kids around this age.

[weepaws 3,158]

Lots of children are available through CPS, you can foster and adopt a child for free.  

[EternalShinyAndChrome 3,953]

14 minutes ago, naomi said:

I'm going to be 40 later this year and just recently got married (5 months in). I'm really on the fence about having kids, haven't had the ticking biological clock feeling, but I am feeling like it would be time to try if we're going to do it. And I lean toward going for two if we commit to it.

My husband has a 14-year-old son with his ex-wife. He's great with kids and would be happy with more, but he's also baseline content now. He feels like he'd be happy either way.

Curious to hear from you guys, if any geeks had kids around this age.

having kids at 40?  Hell no.  First off, you're already too old as any pregnancy you have will put you and especially the unborn child at risk as a geriatric pregnancy (downs syndrome, autism, retardation, etc...).  Also, you want to be raising kids during your retirement years?  I say no way.

Having and raising kids is a young person's game.

[Engorgeous George 2,230]

4 hours ago, naomi said:

I'm going to be 40 later this year and just recently got married (5 months in). I'm really on the fence about having kids, haven't had the ticking biological clock feeling, but I am feeling like it would be time to try if we're going to do it. And I lean toward going for two if we commit to it.

My husband has a 14-year-old son with his ex-wife. He's great with kids and would be happy with more, but he's also baseline content now. He feels like he'd be happy either way.

Curious to hear from you guys, if any geeks had kids around this age.

I was 43 and my wife 40 when she delivered our last child, she was apparently the second immaculate conception ever in history.  We had just downsized our home with our first three being out of the home and away at college.  We thought about the odds the doctors shared about various potential birth defects.  We proceeded anyway.  We moved to a larger home and had fun preparing another nursery.  Everybody came out healthy and well.  She was born just days after our first grandchild so the Aunt is younger than her Niece.  Their relationship is more like siblings.  The whole experience was exhausting, but rewarding.  I swear my wife would sail again at 63 if she could.  Me, well whatever keeps my wife happy.

[Tebok 399]

I was 40 when my first kid was born. My sons are grown and self-sufficient, and I'm nowhere close to retiring, primarily because I enjoy my work and plan to keep doin it for a long time.

I say go for it. You won't regret it if you do, and you'll spend the rest of your life wondering what could have been if you don't.

And those little fookers grow up so fast. They're out of the house in a flash.

[seafoam1 2,855]

4 hours ago, naomi said:

I'm going to be 40 later this year and just recently got married (5 months in). I'm really on the fence about having kids, haven't had the ticking biological clock feeling, but I am feeling like it would be time to try if we're going to do it. And I lean toward going for two if we commit to it.

My husband has a 14-year-old son with his ex-wife. He's great with kids and would be happy with more, but he's also baseline content now. He feels like he'd be happy either way.

Curious to hear from you guys, if any geeks had kids around this age.

If by 40 your biological clock hasn't buzzed yet, you may want to rethink if you want to have one. 

But if your doctor is behind you on this from a medical standpoint,  and you can afford the time to raise them with no fear of financial issues or relationship issues. Best of luck for sure. Remember though, they may not be out of your house when you are in your sixties. So count on not being alone with your husband until you are maybe 65. Even people who are seemingly in great health can be stricken with heart problems and such as they age.  

[weepaws 3,158]

47 minutes ago, EternalShinyAndChrome said:

having kids at 40?  Hell no.  First off, you're already too old as any pregnancy you have will put you and especially the unborn child at risk as a geriatric pregnancy (downs syndrome, autism, retardation, etc...).  Also, you want to be raising kids during your retirement years?  I say no way.

Having and raising kids is a young person's game.

Disagree.   I think in your 40es a great age to raise children, you’re much more mature, and not chasing has many false hopes and dreams like one does in their younger years.  But, I would look into CPS foster care and free adoption.   I’ll be praying for OP.  

[Drizzay 709]

I was 44 and my wife was 40.5 when our last one was born.  I see no problem with it.

The risks are higher for women when they are over 35.  But the screenings are much more advanced now.  40 is the new 30.

Kids are worth any sort of "hardship".

[Engorgeous George 2,230]

3 hours ago, Tebok said:

I was 40 when my first kid was born. My sons are grown and self-sufficient, and I'm nowhere close to retiring, primarily because I enjoy my work and plan to keep doin it for a long time.

I say go for it. You won't regret it if you do, and you'll spend the rest of your life wondering what could have been if you don't.

And those little fookers grow up so fast. They're out of the house in a flash.

It is approximately 1000 weekends from conception to getting them off to college.  That is a bit of a commitment.  Also, one has to consider the risks of pregnancy to the mother and for the child at that age.  We did it anyhow.  Our outcome was very favorable,  That is not always true and we (I) can't say we were very relieved at the first ultrasound, the first amniocentiusis, and at the birth.

[Mark Davis 364]

3 hours ago, naomi said:

I'm going to be 40 later this year and just recently got married (5 months in). I'm really on the fence about having kids, haven't had the ticking biological clock feeling, but I am feeling like it would be time to try if we're going to do it. And I lean toward going for two if we commit to it.

My husband has a 14-year-old son with his ex-wife. He's great with kids and would be happy with more, but he's also baseline content now. He feels like he'd be happy either way.

Curious to hear from you guys, if any geeks had kids around this age.

My wife had our daughters when I was 35 and 39.  But I more have experience here from the child's point of view.  My dad was 52 and mom 42 when I was born.  I was an only child, they assumed they couldn't have kids, then at that late age they had me.  There are pros and cons.  My dad, although he lived to be 98 and had great health, never could play ball much with me beyond just the standard tossing the baseball etc.  Physically it was tougher on them no doubt.  But they were also more financially stable.  And while we weren't well off, for where I grew up we certainly were on the better side of things.  They were set in life, not a lot of drama, good stable upbringing. 

Like someone else mentioned, there are more risks as you get older.  Even back when I was born there were some tests they could do and at some point the doc asked my mom did she really need the tests and what would she do if something were wrong.  They decided to just go forward and luckily everyone was healthy.

 

[weepaws 3,158]

37 minutes ago, Engorgeous George said:

It is approximately 1000 weekends from conceptiion to getting them off to college.  That is a bit of a commitment.  also, one has to consider the risks of pregnancy to the mother and for the child at that age.  We did it anyhow.  Our outcome was very favorable,  That is not always true and we (I) can't say we were not very relieved at the first ultrasound, the first amniocentiusis, and at the birth.

A favorable outcome isn’t always true when one has children when they are younger.   

Look at the amount of children are in the care of CPS, the avg age of parents in Washoe country is 23, last meeting I was at, we have 682 children in foster care in CPS just in this county, I think we see better parents, more stable parents, more financially stable parents when they are older in age, less children would be in foster care, less abortions, less hungry children and less neglected children.   

[Hardcore troubadour 15,110]

It’s different for women. They would be better suited for your point of view. As for me I don’t regret a thing.  I can still keep up though. 

[kilroy69 1,231]

3 hours ago, naomi said:

I'm going to be 40 later this year and just recently got married (5 months in). I'm really on the fence about having kids, haven't had the ticking biological clock feeling, but I am feeling like it would be time to try if we're going to do it. And I lean toward going for two if we commit to it.

My husband has a 14-year-old son with his ex-wife. He's great with kids and would be happy with more, but he's also baseline content now. He feels like he'd be happy either way.

Curious to hear from you guys, if any geeks had kids around this age.

I never felt the pull to have kids. All my friends had them and it was fun to be the cool uncle. My brothers started having them and my view started to soften. By the time I was 38 I had found someone to settle down with and we had a son. I thought I knew what I was getting into. I had NO FOCKING clue how much he changed my life. He is THE best thing I have ever been a part of. Being a parent changed me in a profound way that you will never really understand without being a parent. It has been a challenge for sure. Parenting is flying by the seat of your pants and trying NOT to fock up you kid while also guarding to make sure others to not either. I have 2 sets of people who know me. The ones who knew me pre being a parent knew me as a couch surfing fockup that did not have a career. Just jobs. When my son was born something in me snapped and I KNEW I had to do better. BE better.  People who know me NOW laugh at the idea of me EVER being a fockup. They literally do not believe me when I tell them. All they see is superdad. The guy who has a stay at home job and shows up to all his stuff. I grinded from 7 bucks an hour when he was born to 60 now just an average joe with a HS diploma. Worked for companies that everyone has heard of. All because of him.I would not change anything in the world. When you are trying That MOMENT when you look into your kids eyes you KNOW this is what you wanted and as an older parent I think you appreciate it more. 

 

I will mention that as an older parent it makes for super strange situations where as a 40 year old,  you may be crossing paths with parents who cannot even buy beer yet. Or possibly drive 

[Horseman 2,429]

2 hours ago, Tebok said:

I was 40 when my first kid was born. My sons are grown and self-sufficient, and I'm nowhere close to retiring, primarily because I enjoy my work and plan to keep doin it for a long time.

I say go for it. You won't regret it if you do, and you'll spend the rest of your life wondering what could have been if you don't.

And those little fookers grow up so fast. They're out of the house in a flash.

The guys who are no where near retirement that use the I like my job excuse are my favorite. 

[jbycho 694]

2 hours ago, Mark Davis said:

I had my daughters at 35 and 39.  But I more have experience here from the child's point of view.  My dad was 52 and mom 42 when I was born.  I was an only child, they assumed they couldn't have kids, then at that late age they had me.  There are pros and cons.  My dad, although he lived to be 98 and had great health, never could play ball much with me beyond just the standard tossing the baseball etc.  Physically it was tougher on them no doubt.  But they were also more financially stable.  And while we weren't well off, for where I grew up we certainly were on the better side of things.  They were set in life, not a lot of drama, good stable upbringing. 

Like someone else mentioned, there are more risks as you get older.  Even back when I was born there were some tests they could do and at some point the doc asked my mom did she really need the tests and what would she do if something were wrong.  They decided to just go forward and luckily everyone was healthy.

 

Are you a female? 

[Mark Davis 364]

Just now, jbycho said:

Are you a female? 

No, but if that's the only grammatical misspeak I make today I'll be under my average

[weepaws 3,158]

1 minute ago, jbycho said:

Are you a female? 

Can’t fix stupid.  Amen 

[Mark Davis 364]

24 minutes ago, kilroy69 said:

I never felt the pull to have kids. All my friends had them and it was fun to be the cool uncle. My brothers started having them and my view started to soften. By the time I was 38 I had found someone to settle down with and we had a son. I thought I knew what I was getting into. I had NO FOCKING clue how much he changed my life. He is THE best thing I have ever been a part of. Being a parent changed me in a profound way that you will never really understand without being a parent. It has been a challenge for sure. Parenting is flying by the seat of your pants and trying NOT to fock up you kid while also guarding to make sure others to not either. I have 2 sets of people who know me. The ones who knew me pre being a parent knew me as a couch surfing fockup that did not have a career. Just jobs. When my son was born something in me snapped and I KNEW I had to do better. BE better.  People who know me NOW laugh at the idea of me EVER being a fockup. They literally do not believe me when I tell them. All they see is superdad. The guy who has a stay at home job and shows up to all his stuff. I grinded from 7 bucks an hour when he was born to 60 now just an average joe with a HS diploma. Worked for companies that everyone has heard of. All because of him.I would not change anything in the world. When you are trying That MOMENT when you look into your kids eyes you KNOW this is what you wanted and as an older parent I think you appreciate it more. 

 

I will mention that as an older parent it makes for super strange situations where as a 40 year old,  you may be crossing paths with parents who cannot even buy beer yet. Or possibly drive 

When my youngest daughter was in three year old preschool I took her to a birthday party.  She was born a few months before I turned 40.  The mom of the girl having the birthday had her at 18 I think.  So I go into the jump zone place where the party is and there is this cheerleader looking girl doing flips and everything.  Figure I got there too early or whatever.  She comes down off the thing and introduces herself as the mom.  At most she had to barely be 21 and I had started to gray.  That made me feel old.

[jbycho 694]

10 minutes ago, Mark Davis said:

No, but if that's the only grammatical misspeak I make today I'll be under my average

No big deal. I just wondered. 

[kilroy69 1,231]

4 minutes ago, Mark Davis said:

When my youngest daughter was in three year old preschool I took her to a birthday party.  She was born a few months before I turned 40.  The mom of the girl having the birthday had her at 18 I think.  So I go into the jump zone place where the party is and there is this cheerleader looking girl doing flips and everything.  Figure I got there too early or whatever.  She comes down off the thing and introduces herself as the mom.  At most she had to barely be 21 and I had started to gray.  That made me feel old.

I had one of these smart ass parents ask me I had served in Vetnam. VIETNAM

[Engorgeous George 2,230]

43 minutes ago, kilroy69 said:

I never felt the pull to have kids. All my friends had them and it was fun to be the cool uncle. My brothers started having them and my view started to soften. By the time I was 38 I had found someone to settle down with and we had a son. I thought I knew what I was getting into. I had NO FOCKING clue how much he changed my life. He is THE best thing I have ever been a part of. Being a parent changed me in a profound way that you will never really understand without being a parent. It has been a challenge for sure. Parenting is flying by the seat of your pants and trying NOT to fock up you kid while also guarding to make sure others to not either. I have 2 sets of people who know me. The ones who knew me pre being a parent knew me as a couch surfing fockup that did not have a career. Just jobs. When my son was born something in me snapped and I KNEW I had to do better. BE better.  People who know me NOW laugh at the idea of me EVER being a fockup. They literally do not believe me when I tell them. All they see is superdad. The guy who has a stay at home job and shows up to all his stuff. I grinded from 7 bucks an hour when he was born to 60 now just an average joe with a HS diploma. Worked for companies that everyone has heard of. All because of him.I would not change anything in the world. When you are trying That MOMENT when you look into your kids eyes you KNOW this is what you wanted and as an older parent I think you appreciate it more. 

 

I will mention that as an older parent it makes for super strange situations where as a 40 year old,  you may be crossing paths with parents who cannot even buy beer yet. Or possibly drive 

My wifes best friend for a few years after our youngest was born was a superhot 25 year old who was around a lot.  She had a twin sister who was a fitness model.  

[Frozenbeernuts 2,190]

Have more kids. The more the better.

I'm 41 with a 6 year old with my current wife, and I want at least 1 more. My wife is 31. Kids are great. They keep you young.

I have a feeling the covid shot may have done in my fertility because she should have gotten pregnant again by now. Which would suck not having another chance at a daughter.

[EternalShinyAndChrome 3,953]

Is everyone forgetting Naomi's age here?  She's 40, not 25.  She's a full 5 years PAST the age where they consider it high risk.  I would not be pushing a 40 year old woman to have kids simply for the risk factor for her and her unborn child.

[Tebok 399]

1 hour ago, Horseman said:

The guys who are no where near retirement that use the I like my job excuse are my favorite. 

I own my own business, set my own schedule, work like 25 hours a week and probably make more money than anyone else here.

I don't envy the retirements of dolts like you and HT, who have nothing better to do than post here day and night. 

That's a kick-ass retirement you got there. 

Woo!

[Engorgeous George 2,230]

21 minutes ago, Frozenbeernuts said:

Have more kids. The more the better.

I'm 41 with a 6 year old with my current wife, and I want at least 1 more. My wife is 31. Kids are great. They keep you young.

I have a feeling the covid shot may have done in my fertility because she should have gotten pregnant again by now. Which would suck not having another chance at a daughter.

I make nothing but daughters.  4 for 4 on that count.  Happy to help if needed.

[Engorgeous George 2,230]

3 hours ago, EternalShinyAndChrome said:

Is everyone forgetting Naomi's age here?  She's 40, not 25.  She's a full 5 years PAST the age where they consider it high risk.  I would not be pushing a 40 year old woman to have kids simply for the risk factor for her and her unborn child.

As I said, we worried about the risks.  My wife wanted to proceed.  She would even have proceeded if we found out it would have Down's. That possibility scared me, but not her.  Sometimes I try to imagine what it would have been like to have a Down's kid.  They all seem sweet when they are young.  but I wonder, now at 66 could I deal with a 23 year old me with minimal intelligence and occassional flashes of frustrated anger.  A 6'3' 250 pound  mentally 4 to 8 year old would be quite the challenge.

[Horseman 2,429]

6 minutes ago, Tebok said:

I own my own business, set my own schedule, work like 25 hours a week and probably make more money than anyone else here.

I don't envy the retirements of dolts like you and HT, who have nothing better to do than post here day and night. 

That's a kick-ass retirement you got there. 

Woo!

Hey Mr. Nowhere Near Retirement.  Check my posting history.  I missed almost the entire sweet 16 because Ive got so many things to do.  

Retirement isn't an age. It isn't stopping working if you don't want to. It's a dollar amount. The amount that says you can do whatever the fok you want. HTH. 

[EternalShinyAndChrome 3,953]

 

9 minutes ago, Engorgeous George said:

As I said, we worried about the risks.  My wife wanted to proceed.  She would even have proceeded if we found out it would have Down's. That possibility scared me, but not her.  Sometimes i try to imagine waht it would have been like to have a Down's kid.  They all seem sweet when they are young.  but I wonder, now at 66 could I deal with a 23 year old me with minimal intelligence and occassional flashes of frustrated anger.  A 6'3' 250 pound  mentally 4 to 8 year old would be quite the challenge.

And now you know what Rusty's and Tebok's parents are dealing with. 

[Nomad99 713]

If that's  what it takes to keep you in the kitchen........

 

 

 

I kid.....do what makes you happy but that's a heck of a commitment heading into a time of life that's usually the time you get your freedom back & resume doing what brought you together. Good luck.

[Mark Davis 364]

21 minutes ago, Engorgeous George said:

As I said, we worried about the risks.  My wife wanted to proceed.  She would even have proceeded if we found out it would have Down's. That possibility scared me, but not her.  Sometimes i try to imagine waht it would have been like to have a Down's kid.  They all seem sweet when they are young.  but I wonder, now at 66 could I deal with a 23 year old me with minimal intelligence and occassional flashes of frustrated anger.  A 6'3' 250 pound  mentally 4 to 8 year old would be quite the challenge.

Got a friend who had a son with Downs, they had two older daughters.  He used to play in our weekly poker game.  This was just after my first daughter was born so been about 14 years ago.  He hasn't played more than a handful of times over those 14 years and none in recent years.  Pretty much as soon as he leaves work he's headed home to be with his son.  The time commitment can't be overestimated.

[Tebok 399]

1 hour ago, Horseman said:

Hey Mr. Nowhere Near Retirement.  Check my posting history.  I missed almost the entire sweet 16 because Ive got so many things to do.  

Retirement isn't an age. It isn't stopping working if you don't want to. It's a dollar amount. The amount that says you can do whatever the fok you want. HTH. 

I do whatever the fook I want, and I can run my business from anywhere.

Sad that you hated what you did for a living so much that you had to retire from it, but me retiring from something I enjoy doing because knuckleheads such as you think people should retire when they can is just stoopid thinking, Mr. I Got So Many Things To Do Including Spending All Day and Night Here.

[Tebok 399]

1 hour ago, Mark Davis said:

Got a friend who had a son with Downs, they had two older daughters.  He used to play in our weekly poker game.  This was just after my first daughter was born so been about 14 years ago.  He hasn't played more than a handful of times over those 14 years and none in recent years.  Pretty much as soon as he leaves work he's headed home to be with his son.  The time commitment can't be overestimated.

Well, God bless your friend for his dedication to taking care of Peefoam.

[Tebok 399]

1 hour ago, Engorgeous George said:

 but I wonder, now at 66 could I deal with a 23 year old me with minimal intelligence and occassional flashes of frustrated anger.  A 6'3' 250 pound  mentally 4 to 8 year old would be quite the challenge.

Maxipad Overdrive's parents have to deal with that 24-7.

[Horseman 2,429]

1 minute ago, Tebok said:

I do whatever the fook I want, and I can run my business from anywhere.

Sad that you hated what you did for a living so much that you had to retire from it, but me retiring from something I enjoy doing because knuckleheads such as you think people should retire when they can is just stoopid thinking, Mr. I Got So Many Things To Do Including Spending All Day and Night Here.

My posts

Fri - 0

Thur - 1

Wed - 1

Now check yours. So your narrative that I post all day and night is as wrong as convincing yourself that you want to work because you have no other choice.  

[Tebok 399]

1 minute ago, Horseman said:

My posts

Fri - 0

Thur - 1

Wed - 1

Now check yours. So your narrative that I post all day and night is as wrong as convincing yourself that you want to work because you have no other choice.  

Whoresman

Content count: 10,791.

Days won: 25.

Tebok

Content count: 874.

Days won: 1.

• 10,791

• 10,791

[Horseman 2,429]

And let's be real. Your financial adviser business is fake. You sell insurance for an insurance company, not your own business.  In fact they tell you specifically that you cannot provide financial advise.  

[Tebok 399]

42 minutes ago, Horseman said:

And let's be real. Your financial adviser business is fake. You sell insurance for an insurance company, not your own business.  In fact they tell you specifically that you cannot provide financial advise.  

Zero idea what you're talking about.

But you should try to wrap your ignorant mind around people who keep working because they enjoy it.

Do the Rolling Stones need money?

Does Dave Grohl need money?

Do all these classic actors who still perform need money?

Does Elon Fooking Musk need money?

Does Mark Zuckerberg need money?

By your logic, they should all just quit what they love doing just because they don't need money.

I'll work until I'm physically or mentally can't because I love what I do. You must not have, or you'd still be doing it instead of spending all day and night here, but hey you won the day 25 times!

Woo!

Game. Set. Match.

[jbycho 694]

17 minutes ago, Tebok said:

Zero idea what you're talking about.

But you should try to wrap your ignorant mind around people who keep working because they enjoy it.

Do the Rolling Stones need money?

Does Dave Grohl need money?

Do all these classic actors who still perform need money?

Does Elon Fooking Musk need money?

Does Mark Zuckerberg need money?

By your logic, they should all just quit what they love doing just because they don't need money.

I'll work until I'm physically or mentally can't because I love what I do. You must not have, or you'd still be doing it instead of spending all day and night here, but hey you won the day 25 times!

Woo!

Game. Set. Match.

Wow. You really try hard to sound like a fool. 

Believe me, you are a natural at it. Take it easy old man Rusty and let your TDS flow as you normally do. 

Classic broke old man story trying to sound like he is in any way successful. 

[Tebok 399]

10 minutes ago, jbycho said:

Wow. You really try hard to sound like a fool. 

Believe me, you are a natural at it. Take it easy old man Rusty and let your TDS flow as you normally do. 

Classic broke old man story trying to sound like he is in any way successful. 

You should try to come up with something original instead of going back to your tired well of responses.

It won't be funny or interesting, but at least it will be original.

You're like  broken record of lameness.

[Horseman 2,429]

36 minutes ago, Tebok said:

Zero idea what you're talking about.

But you should try to wrap your ignorant mind around people who keep working because they enjoy it.

Do the Rolling Stones need money?

Does Dave Grohl need money?

Do all these classic actors who still perform need money?

Does Elon Fooking Musk need money?

Does Mark Zuckerberg need money?

By your logic, they should all just quit what they love doing just because they don't need money.

I'll work until I'm physically or mentally can't because I love what I do. You must not have, or you'd still be doing it instead of spending all day and night here, but hey you won the day 25 times!

Woo!

Game. Set. Match.

Learn to read retard.  

2 hours ago, Horseman said:

Retirement isn't an age. It isn't stopping working if you don't want to. It's a dollar amount. The amount that says you can do whatever the fok you want. HTH.