I recently joined a new club . . . it's called AA for short . . .

[Recidivist 1]

Approximately two weeks ago I started going to meetings at Alcoholics Anonymous everyday (sometimes twice a day). Today will be the 12th day I have not consumed any drugs or alcohol. I didn't stop cold turkey, but I weened myself pretty drastically. The most severe withdrawal symptom I endured was insomnia - I slept about all of one hour total for the first 10 days (when I was weening and then when I stopped completely).

 

I've tried quitting my use of drugs and alcohol several times over the past three years - I had a stretch of sobriety which lasted 56 days in the fall of 2007. During that time I was seeing a psychologist (he specializes in addiction therapy) on a weekly basis. He told me at the end of the first session (which was in Spring 2007) that I was a full-blown alcoholic/drug addict and needed to go to rehab immediately. I declined but continued to see him.

 

By this time my wife and I were separated and I was engaging in increasingly bizarre behavior - I haven't written about any of these episodes, but briefly, they included the following: removing all of the exterior doors on my house (the weather was great and I wanted to bring the outside into my living room), showing up to work in full drag (mini-skirt, painted nails, the whole works), not leaving the house unless I had face paint on (usually Native-American motif), calling the cops to my house so I could file a complaint against my Dad for grand-theft auto (he knew how far out I had gotten and was trying to protect me and the general public from myself by taking my car), installing a rope swing in the dry-storage section of the warehouse at my job (I wanted to play Tarzan) . . . . I could go on.

 

After the rope swing incident, my boss suggested I take a leave of absence (paid of course) and that I needed to get medical clearance to return to work. I saw a psychiatrist for a few months - he diagnosed me as bi-polar and prescribed me a series of meds with increasing potency . On my last visit (I of course showed up drunk and high) I told him the meds were not working and I wanted to stop taking them. He advised against that and said that if I didn't cooperate with his methods that perhaps I should find another doctor. I let loose on him and his profession ("focking quackery!"); after refusing to pay $150 for what was a two minute session, on my way out I proclaimed to his full waiting room (they were all staring at me as they had heard the commotion in his office moments earlier) that, "I can stop getting focked up but you guys will always be crazy!"

 

Fortunately, I had already gotten him to sign my medical clearance so I was back at work. By now I had been divorced for almost three months - although it was definitely for the best, I was still a little heartbroken and my consumption was steadily increasing as my tolerances were decreasing. I made the mistake of dipping my pen in the company ink by regularly focking this gal (5'4", 125lbs, brunette, 36C) at work who had been pursuing me since the day she met me - though she wasn't techincally my boss, she was the #3 person (after the owner/CEO and COO) in the chain of command and acted like she was the HNIC. She made the mistake of telling me I needed to clean up - I responded by using even more and breaking off our personal relationship.

 

By summer of '09 I was eating less and less - I would go days without food - my weight dropped from 165lbs to 129lbs (I'm 6'2"). My family was convinced I was going to die of an overdose or accident. My sister (she specializes in estate planning) prepared a new will for me together with a living will, health care surrogate designation, power of attorney, etc. She and my Mom actually pre-arranged and pre-paid for my funeral - they were certain my demise was near and were afraid that planning my funeral would be too difficult if they had to do so after I died.

 

I had a few run-ins with the cops this fall but was fortunately not arrested. The most recent event occurred a couple weeks ago and I was sure I was going to get arrested. I assumed that part of my punishment for the offense (I ultimately have not been charged and am fairly certain I won't be) would be mandatory AA meetings and probation with drug testing. With that in mind, I decided that there was no time like the present.

 

Thus, I have been going to AA on a regular basis and have ceased all drug and alcohol use. There is no way I could have quit and stayed sober for this long without it. I know I am in the very early stages of recovery, but I am committed to the program. I heartily recommend AA to anyone who is thinking about quitting their drinking. I truly believe it is going to save my life.

[Big_Pete 0]

Thus, I have been going to AA on a regular basis and have ceased all drug and alcohol use. There is no way I could have quit and stayed sober for this long without it. I know I am in the very early stages of recovery, but I am committed to the program. I heartily recommend AA to anyone who is thinking about quitting their drinking. I truly believe it is going to save my life.

I've heard this before.

[Strike 4,081]

Approximately two weeks ago I started going to meetings at Alcoholics Anonymous everyday (sometimes twice a day). Today will be the 12th day I have not consumed any drugs or alcohol. I didn't stop cold turkey, but I weened myself pretty drastically. The most severe withdrawal symptom I endured was insomnia - I slept about all of one hour total for the first 10 days (when I was weening and then when I stopped completely).

 

I've tried quitting my use of drugs and alcohol several times over the past three years - I had a stretch of sobriety which lasted 56 days in the fall of 2007. During that time I was seeing a psychologist (he specializes in addiction therapy) on a weekly basis. He told me at the end of the first session (which was in Spring 2007) that I was a full-blown alcoholic/drug addict and needed to go to rehab immediately. I declined but continued to see him.

 

By this time my wife and I were separated and I was engaging in increasingly bizarre behavior - I haven't written about any of these episodes, but briefly, they included the following: removing all of the exterior doors on my house (the weather was great and I wanted to bring the outside into my living room), showing up to work in full drag (mini-skirt, painted nails, the whole works), not leaving the house unless I had face paint on (usually Native-American motif), calling the cops to my house so I could file a complaint against my Dad for grand-theft auto (he knew how far out I had gotten and was trying to protect me and the general public from myself by taking my car), installing a rope swing in the dry-storage section of the warehouse at my job (I wanted to play Tarzan) . . . . I could go on.

 

After the rope swing incident, my boss suggested I take a leave of absence (paid of course) and that I needed to get medical clearance to return to work. I saw a psychiatrist for a few months - he diagnosed me as bi-polar and prescribed me a series of meds with increasing potency . On my last visit (I of course showed up drunk and high) I told him the meds were not working and I wanted to stop taking them. He advised against that and said that if I didn't cooperate with his methods that perhaps I should find another doctor. I let loose on him and his profession ("focking quackery!"); after refusing to pay $150 for what was a two minute session, on my way out I proclaimed to his full waiting room (they were all staring at me as they had heard the commotion in his office moments earlier) that, "I can stop getting focked up but you guys will always be crazy!"

 

Fortunately, I had already gotten him to sign my medical clearance so I was back at work. By now I had been divorced for almost three months - although it was definitely for the best, I was still a little heartbroken and my consumption was steadily increasing as my tolerances were decreasing. I made the mistake of dipping my pen in the company ink by regularly focking this gal (5'4", 125lbs, brunette, 36C) at work who had been pursuing me since the day she met me - though she wasn't techincally my boss, she was the #3 person (after the owner/CEO and COO) in the chain of command and acted like she was the HNIC. She made the mistake of telling me I needed to clean up - I responded by using even more and breaking off our personal relationship.

 

By summer of '09 I was eating less and less - I would go days without food - my weight dropped from 165lbs to 129lbs (I'm 6'2"). My family was convinced I was going to die of an overdose or accident. My sister (she specializes in estate planning) prepared a new will for me together with a living will, health care surrogate designation, power of attorney, etc. She and my Mom actually pre-arranged and pre-paid for my funeral - they were certain my demise was near and were afraid that planning my funeral would be too difficult if they had to do so after I died.

 

I had a few run-ins with the cops this fall but was fortunately not arrested. The most recent event occurred a couple weeks ago and I was sure I was going to get arrested. I assumed that part of my punishment for the offense (I ultimately have not been charged and am fairly certain I won't be) would be mandatory AA meetings and probation with drug testing. With that in mind, I decided that there was no time like the present.

 

Thus, I have been going to AA on a regular basis and have ceased all drug and alcohol use. There is no way I could have quit and stayed sober for this long without it. I know I am in the very early stages of recovery, but I am committed to the program. I heartily recommend AA to anyone who is thinking about quitting their drinking. I truly believe it is going to save my life.

 

Didn't know you were a BLS alias. Noted.

[Rusty Syringes 478]

[Rusty Syringes 478]

I'm curious to how much you were drinking daily.

[kpbuckeye 2]

You will never be the quitter that edjr is.

[Recidivist 1]

I'm curious to how much you were drinking daily.

 

It varied - usually as little a pint of liquor, sometimes upward of a quart. I started each day with two shots of frozen stoli followed by a double stoli and OJ, grapefruit juice, cranberry juice or lemonade.

 

I would go through three to four 1.75L bottles of Stoli a week.

 

And this of course was in conjunction with my regular daily intake of oxys or roxys plus at least a half gram of blow per day and then xanax or valium later in the evening

[dain11279 931]

Nobody likes a quitter.

[Big_Pete 0]

It varied - usually as little a pint of liquor, sometimes upward of a quart. I started each day with two shots of frozen stoli followed by a double stoli and OJ, grapefruit juice, cranberry juice or lemonade.

 

I would go through three to four 1.75L bottles of Stoli a week.

 

And this of course was in conjunction with my regular daily intake of oxys or roxys plus at least a half gram of blow per day and then xanax or valium later in the evening

Not too bad. All of that in a 129 lb person? Bravo sir, Bravo!!!

[KSB2424 3,087]

Good luck to you sir.

 

Probably the worst part would be that you should no longer associate with your old friends. Well, those that you drank and used with. While they may have kind hearts, they are the worst thing for you. New relationships should be formed with those of non-dependence in their lives.

 

I wish you the best.

[phillybear 365]

I would go through three to four 1.75L bottles of Stoli a week.

 

I can drain a 1.75L bottle of rum any given night, and wake up fine for work the next day. Hell, I did it each of the last two nights.

 

Sorry to hear about your recovery. Hopefully you get back to getting focked up soon.

[Recidivist 1]

Good luck to you sir.

 

Probably the worst part would be that you should no longer associate with your old friends. Well, those that you drank and used with. While they may have kind hearts, they are the worst thing for you. New relationships should be formed with those of non-dependence in their lives.

 

I wish you the best.

 

Thanks for your kind words and suggestions. I have stopped hanging out with most of the folks who I used/drank with, but I still talk with them - mostly in hopes they will consider recovery.

 

Today is my 22nd day sobriety. Industry standard is 90 meetings and 90 days, but I plan on going to at least one meeting everyday for the rest of my life. I have had so many close calls over the past few years (heck my whole life for that matter) that I am convinced God (or if you prefer, my Higher Power) has some greater calling for me other than using my powers to help people beat (cheat) the system and use my earnings to drink and drug.

 

If anyone thinks they may have a problem with alcohol and or drugs, don't hesitate to check out a meeting. It seemed kind of cultish to me at first, but thus far, for me, it has been nothing short of a miracle.

 

I will close with my recovery-inspired haiku:

 

Sobriety sucks!

Not all of the time, but when

You want to get high

[Chronic Husker 85]

Thanks for your kind words and suggestions. I have stopped hanging out with most of the folks who I used/drank with, but I still talk with them - mostly in hopes they will consider recovery.

I wouldn't push recovery on them if they're not receptive. Only they can decide for themselves if they're alcoholic/addicts.

 

You have a sponsor?

[cbfalcon 824]

I'm so high right now. It's amazing.

[Recidivist 1]

I wouldn't push recovery on them if they're not receptive. Only they can decide for themselves if they're alcoholic/addicts.

 

You have a sponsor?

 

I'm not pushing recovery on them . . . I'm just letting them know what I'm up to and that help is available if and when they are ready.

 

I do have a sponsor and he's been very helpful.

 

I never thought I could go a whole weekend without getting even just a little buzz, but sometimes life can surprise you if you give it a chance

[Recidivist 1]

I'm so high right now. It's amazing.

 

Enjoy

[Chronic Husker 85]

I'm not pushing recovery on them . . . I'm just letting them know what I'm up to and that help is available if and when they are ready.

 

I do have a sponsor and he's been very helpful.

 

I never thought I could go a whole weekend without getting even just a little buzz, but sometimes life can surprise you if you give it a chance

[Me_2006 14]

If I can drop the typical attitude of this place for a second: awesome job so far dude. Good to see that you understand that it's an ongoing process and are keeping everything in perspective.

 

 

You should post here each day that you go through sober as sort of an accountability thing.

 

 

 

Keep at it. God bless.

[Voltaire 4,584]

Props for getting your act together.

 

I wouldn't push recovery on them if they're not receptive. Only they can decide for themselves if they're alcoholic/addicts.

 

Recidivist was there not long ago. I've got a feeling he knows this already.

[Voltaire 4,584]

I can drain a 1.75L bottle of rum any given night, and wake up fine for work the next day. Hell, I did it each of the last two nights.

 

Sorry to hear about your recovery. Hopefully you get back to getting focked up soon.

 

Last summer's scare wasn't enough I see. Too much funny around here would disappear if/when you wind up six feet underground in a box.

 

We'll leave the light on for you to get straight.

[Eagles Green 34]

You should post here each day that you go through sober as sort of an accountability thing. :thumbsup

Please don't.

I hate when people fock up my high.

[NorthernVike 2,080]

AA is for quitters

[TheNewGirl 1,059]

I wish you the best of luck.

[remote controller 136]

I am holding my beer glass high for you! This took alot of guts, and best of luck to you in the future!

[BunnysBastatrds 1,954]

How bad were the withdrawls?

[MedStudent 56]

I'm not pushing recovery on them . . . I'm just letting them know what I'm up to and that help is available if and when they are ready.

 

I do have a sponsor and he's been very helpful.

 

I never thought I could go a whole weekend without getting even just a little buzz, but sometimes life can surprise you if you give it a chance

 

keep it up the good work dude!

[Recidivist 1]

Thanks to everyone (Chronic Husker, Me_2006, TNG, MS, rc, et al) for the encouragement. I also sincerely appreciate the mocking comments as well

 

Today is the 24th day of no drinking nor drugging. I passed up an opportunity to partake of some super kind bud (supposedly Jack Herer strain) a couple of hours ago before playing some pick-up b-ball. I did at least inspect it before it was smoked and it would have been superb to partake, but I abided.

 

I've resolved that if I am going to relapse, it ain't gonna be just a few bong hits or a few beers/cocktails or few lines or a few pills: it will be an all-out effort including all of the above and then some (which means I'll have to track down that dude I used to score PCP from).

 

I won't post daily updates, but I will advise if any relapse occurs - I should be cool through '09. I will of course update my sig line accordingly.

 

In closing, after reading BLS's thread about improving the bored, I will try to do my part. Thus, my thought for the day: We esteem lowly that which we acquire cheaply (or easily).

[Recidivist 1]

How bad were the withdrawls?

 

It of course depends upon what you are withdrawing from. I'll start with the least painful and proceed to the most painful. These are my personal experiences - results may vary.

 

Marijuana: I've never had any physical withdrawal symptoms, only psychological ones (e.g., strong urges to smoke).

 

Cocaine: Moderate physical withdrawal symptoms (basically sluggishness/lethargy) but intense psychological symptoms (anxiety, irritability, extremely strong urges to use).

 

Anti-anxiety meds (xanax, klonopin, valium, etc): Physical symptoms can be severe depending upon daily intake - mine were minor (basically insomnia), but I have a friend who has been hospitalized twice for seizures he's suffered after going a couple of days without. Psychological symptoms include irritability, anxiety (duh!) and moderate urge to use.

 

Alcohol: Moderate to severe physical symptoms (dry heaving, shakes/twitching, hot/cold spells, body aches, severe insomnia) with severe psychological symptoms (basically an unceasing voice in my head telling me to at least chug a beer or do a shot as it would alleve, albeit temporarily , the physical suffering). These symptoms began appearing after I had been drinking at least 12 or more drinks a day (usually 20) for a few months and would then try to stop cold turkey. Definitely have to ween yourself off.

 

Opiates: Perhaps the most agonizing physical withdrawal symptoms I have ever experienced - severe insomnia (at least a whole week of sleepless nites), overall aching body pain that swings from dull to sharp, severe fever/chills (as soon as you get warm, you start to sweat and as the sweat evaporates, you are cold all over again - rinse and repeat for several days, perhaps a week). Most folks have vomiting/and or diarrhea - I fortunately did not, but that was likely because I was eating so little. Extremely severe psychological symptoms (i.e., you will do anything to get fixed). My lowpoint was driving down to Miami with my buddy a few times to score heroin. We usually just did oxys or roxys, but there was a shortage this past spring - the manufacturer literally could not keep up with the demand and all the local pharmacies were out. We had spent the whole day trying to find them and finally, by nitefall, and being totally dopesick, drove to one of the most God-foresaken neighborhoods (Little Haiti actually) and bought some decent quality H from my buddy's friend. Despite wanting to get out of that neighborhood as quickly as possible, we were both feeling so ill we got fixed while still in the parking lot (my buddy shot, I snorted and have never used needles). We made a couple trips down there over the next several weeks until we were able to get our regular brand.

 

Getting off of opiates is tough - that is why there are pharmacuetical remedies like methadone and suboxone. But the line in Woody Allen's "Annie Hall" is so true: "I used to be a heroin addict, now I am a methadone addict." The stuff they put you on to get you off of what you were using is usually harder to quit. I usually just weened myself off gradually, but this also accelerated my alcohol consumption. That's why there is the saying, "Show me a recovered heroin addict and I'll show you a new alcoholic." There is also the option of rapid detox treatment where you get sedated and cleaned out over a few days - I looked into this but felt it would be too easy and that I would just go back to using within a few days of being cleaned.

 

I hope I answered your questions. My best advice is, like what Mikey's brothers told him in the Life cereal commercial: "Try it . . . you'll like it!" but tempered with the caveat of "But be careful, you might like it too much!".

[shotsup 832]

You should post here each day that you go through sober as sort of an accountability thing.

 

Jebus Christmas please do not suggest this.............. You never tell someone in AA to share more stories ................ Amatuer.

[heavy-set 39]

if this thread is 50% true, its still the greatest thread evah, and should be pinned