What are the top posts in this boreds history?

[The Moz 69]

Mephisto and Kadaver - steak thread has to be one. Maybe the most heated debate I have seen on this bored.

 

The Swerski - CMH thread regarding CMH's dead brother was maybe the most heartless.

 

Mephisto's Nightposter - thread was maybe the most pathetic but had good hilarity.

 

 

 

What others would qualify here?

[lagarzlebrew 0]

I dont remember who posted it, but the post where his online chats were quoted about a wizard and rhino and a bunch of other really funny sh!t. Something like her vagina was like the sleeve of a wizards robe...

 

And Curly Night dying.

 

Getting banned from the Tropical Fish Forearm

[The Moz 69]

I dont remember who posted it, but the post where his online chats were quoted about a wizard and rhino and a bunch of other really funny sh!t.

 

And Curly Night dying.

 

Getting banned from the Tropical Fish Forearm

 

 

The fish board Jihad was classic

[spork in the road 2]

The thread about the chick from work who would turn tricks in the Best Buy parking lot. I think that was nafxaj.

 

Rustor's thread about not being able to pay for a pizza with a check

 

I liked the old guess the geek threads, there was some hilarity there

[RLLD 3,505]

Sippah Cup

[remote controller 136]

Mona nekid in front of her computer in the FFT shirt was good. Skins Chicks boob shot was nice. The whole Curley thing changed history as we know it. If I had to pick one it would be Meph and Kadaver.

[heavy-set 39]

qlazz not paying was good.

 

 

anything GFIAFP does is pretty good

 

cooking with sux

[pingpong 0]

The story of Ju-Dee and the falling air conditioner.

 

Mookie Wilson and the tag lines he used.

[The Elevator Killer 497]

Burt having to masterbate his dog was classic.

[RLLD 3,505]

The Curly Carly alias saga.....

[ZeroTolerance 582]

Pre- Latin Pimp: Have you ever crapped yourself?

[tikigods 76]

The fish board Jihad was classic

 

[jerryskids 5,302]

The thread about the chick from work who would turn tricks in the Best Buy parking lot. I think that was nafxaj.

 

My time at the geek club starts in 04 so I don't know some of the classics mentioned here, but the nafxaj best buy thread was the most F5'd, explosive thread I've ever seen. I was cleaning out my emails a few months ago and actually have one from him during the incident; maybe I should shoot him a message and ask him to come back with an update.

 

Also I unfortunately missed the fish forum event as it was happening, but going back and reading it was maybe the funniest shiot I've seen here.

[The Pope 8]

My time at the geek club starts in 04 so I don't know some of the classics mentioned here, but the nafxaj best buy thread was the most F5'd, explosive thread I've ever seen. I was cleaning out my emails a few months ago and actually have one from him during the incident; maybe I should shoot him a message and ask him to come back with an update.

 

Also I unfortunately missed the fish forum event as it was happening, but going back and reading it was maybe the funniest shiot I've seen here.

I missed that too. Do you have a link or something?

[crackattack 513]

I dont remember who posted it, but the post where his online chats were quoted about a wizard and rhino and a bunch of other really funny sh!t. Something like her vagina was like the sleeve of a wizards robe...

 

And Curly Night dying.

 

Getting banned from the Tropical Fish Forearm

 

 

Those are by far the funniest things I have ever read on this board.

[Lackman 0]

I dont remember who posted it, but the post where his online chats were quoted about a wizard and rhino and a bunch of other really funny sh!t. Something like her vagina was like the sleeve of a wizards robe...

 

spottedowl took on the alias of bloodninja, but he copied and pasted those prank pron chats from elsewhere. They weren't original from FFT, but they were amusing.

 

The vagina like a sleeve of a wizard's robe is line from Borat, but he may have borrowed his material too.

[Lackman 0]

My time at the geek club starts in 04 so I don't know some of the classics mentioned here, but the nafxaj best buy thread was the most F5'd, explosive thread I've ever seen. I was cleaning out my emails a few months ago and actually have one from him during the incident; maybe I should shoot him a message and ask him to come back with an update.

 

I think shovelheadt is friends with him.

[shovelheadt 62]

I think shovelheadt is friends with him.

 

Yes. He had another one where his boss was trying to get on the elevator and he purposely closed the door on his arm and wouldn't let him in. There was another one where he was going to get with the Best Buy chick and have her do some amateur porn with a director friend (me) that was coming into town.

[Lackman 0]

Yes. He had another one where his boss was trying to get on the elevator and he purposely closed the door on his arm and wouldn't let him in. There was another one where he was going to get with the Best Buy chick and have her do some amateur porn with a director friend (me) that was coming into town.

 

I definitely remember the pron attempt.

 

I didn't associate the elevator thread with him, but I will in the future.

[parrot 789]

Burt having to masterbate his dog was classic.

 

[Lackman 0]

OK. Let me throw one out there. I have no idea if anybody else remembers this one.

 

There was a poster by the name of pennken. He started a thread one day that he thought a guy working next to his cubicle had killed somebody and buried the body, and that pennken was fearing for his own life because he thought the murderer was starting to suspect that pennken knew what happened or overhead something. That was pennken's last post ever. He hasn't been active at this site since 2005. Greatest bored suicide evah.

[Recliner Pilot 61]

"Being here illegally is not a crime"-Torrid

[The Pope 8]

OK. Let me throw one out there. I have no idea if anybody else remembers this one.

 

There was a poster by the name of pennken. He started a thread one day that he thought a guy working next to his cubicle had killed somebody and buried the body, and that pennken was fearing for his own life because he thought the murderer was starting to suspect that pennken knew what happened or overhead something. That was pennken's last post ever. He hasn't been active at this site since 2005. Greatest bored suicide evah.

 

I remember that. And you are correct. Greatest bored suicide evah.

 

[GettnHuge 1]

there was this guy who had just washed his new customized car, but it started to rain one night so he decided to drive

home through the woods because the canopy would shield it from getting dirty again. Rumour has it he died.

[ADD1CT36 1]

Nafxaj best buy posts were so hilarious.

And I hate to say it, but some bigpete/ sawilson drama was entertaining in a real world / jersey shore kinda way.

BLS has posted some substantial drama as well... There may be more...

 

Maybe there should be a subcategory of most dramatic?

[RLLD 3,505]

The warranty

[Eagles Green 34]

Also I unfortunately missed the fish forum event as it was happening, but going back and reading it was maybe the funniest shiot I've seen here.

I still laugh thinking about it.

[Lackman 0]

There was a very fun thread back in 2005 that completely devolved into calling Bill Swerski a fatso. And not just the typical way. The sea was angry that day. Many, many creative aliases were created, not so much for content, but their actual user name, one after another, piling on. Some of them were subtle, such as

Swerski's Fat Man Smell

Swerski's Pending Heart Attack

Swerski's Cholesterol Level

Swerski's Inner Thigh Friction

 

to the not so subtle

Swerski Is A Fat Fucking Pig

 

Good times, good times.

[Jeff Garcia 8]

Not sure if this was on this bored or the other, but the Tommy Maddox for 5,000 yards was pretty good.

 

 

 

 

ok, realize that i am a steeler fan, but also realize that this is an un-biased opinion. these r my true thoughts on tommy gun this year, and i fully expect him to prove me right.

 

first of all, there is no quarterback, and there hasnt been since warner in 1999 w/ as many weapons in the passing game as tommy has this year. hines ward is the most polished wr in football, and plaxico burress is going to show this year how elite of a wr he really is. these guys both will have 12-15 tds each, and both will eclipse 1,300 yds receiving, w/ plax closer to 1,600. randle el in the slot is absolutely impossible to cover 1 on 1 w/out a shut down corner, and u cannott afford that w/ the 2 elite wrs lined up outside. randle el will be good for 500-700 yds receiving this year, and a couple of trick plays as well. zereoue out of the back field will be a huge upgrade over bettis between the 20s, and he has developed into an outstanding receiver and they will find ways to get him the ball through the air. he should get 400-600 yds receiving. rhiemersma is a huge upgrade over bruener as the starting te. rhiemersma is a polished wr, and can make tough catches and keep a linebacker honest at all times, giving maddox more time to throw w/ less blitzes. i look for rhiemersma to accumulate 450-600 yds receiving as well. of course the other backs, fullbacks, and tes, and wrs will get a handfull of catches and yds as well.when u add all of these #s together, u start to realize that tommy maddox will have some serious weapons to throw to this season. he is healthy, confident, playing for a contract, and poised to take this offense to the next level. there will be no defense capable of stopping, or even slowing down this juggernaut.bottom line, maddox can break the all time passing yds record if he stays healthy, and im boldly predicting him for 5,000+ yards passing this season. teams predictions:

 

maddox: 5,100 yds passing, 36-38 tds, 150 yds rushing, 0-1 tds.

 

zereoue: 1,100 yds rushing, 4-6 tds, 400-600 yds receiving, 2-3 tds.

 

bettis: 400-500 yds rushing, 6-8 tds, 100-150 yds receiving, 0 tds.

 

ward: 110 receptions, 1,350-1,400 yds, 13-15 tds

and a handful of rushing yds)

 

burress: 85-90 catches, 1,500-1,700 yds, 12-14 tds

 

randle el: 500-700 yds receiving, 3-5 tds

 

rhiemersma: 400-500 yds receiving, 2-4 tds

 

rest of backs/wrs/tes: 300-400 yds receiving, 2-4 tds.

 

this may seem like its high balling, but ive been doing this for a while, and i see this offense as unbelievably special, and motivated to prove how dominant they can be. u heard it here first, maddox will have a special year in 2003. get him in the last year that hes available after rd 2...

[RLLD 3,505]

There was a very fun thread back in 2005 that completely devolved into calling Bill Swerski a fatso. And not just the typical way. The sea was angry that day. Many, many creative aliases were created, not so much for content, but their actual user name, one after another, piling on. Some of them were subtle, such as

Swerski's Fat Man Smell

Swerski's Pending Heart Attack

Swerski's Cholesterol Level

Swerski's Inner Thigh Friction

 

to the not so subtle

Swerski Is A Fat Fucking Pig

 

Good times, good times.

 

His car crash produced some epic subsidiary threads....

[heavy-set 39]

recidivist posts some funny stories

[ZeroTolerance 582]

Not sure if this was on this bored or the other, but the Tommy Maddox for 5,000 yards was pretty good.

That was main bored. Another classic from the main bored was the "Guess which NFL kicker I am" thread where some moron tried to convince posters that he was an actual active NFL kicker...eventually someone found out his real identity and linked to his website where he took people out for fishing tours (the thread reached 10 pages in the course of a few hours).

[The Pope 8]

That was main bored. Another classic from the main bored was the "Guess which NFL kicker I am" thread where some moron tried to convince posters that he was an actual active NFL kicker...eventually someone found out his real identity and linked to his website where he took people out for fishing tours (the thread reached 10 pages in the course of a few hours).

 

I remember that. What was his screen name?

[RLLD 3,505]

There was the Star Wars jihad.....

 

Of course the GTG stuff, of which bigtraine's thread was perhaps one of the funniest things I have ever read....

[KSB2424 3,086]

recidivist posts some funny stories

The one where he drove to the Mexican eatery, caused a big commontion because they put cheese in his burrito, cussed out the owner, and upon exiting from the door, turned and yelled to the everyone inside "You all live in FILTH!!"

 

Or something like that. Cracked me up.

[ZeroTolerance 582]

I remember that. What was his screen name?

Wish I could remember, that was waaaaay back in the day. Captain Ron or something similar.

[KSB2424 3,086]

The one where he drove to the Mexican eatery, caused a big commontion because they put cheese in his burrito, cussed out the owner, and upon exiting from the door, turned and yelled to the everyone inside "You all live in FILTH!!"

 

Or something like that. Cracked me up.

Found it.

 

No, it was not a Taco Bell. There is a small chain (three) of Mexican restaurants down here. Their food is pretty good and they enjoy a loyal clientele. They all share the same name, followed by Uno, Dos, etc. They used to be under one ownership and as such were fairly uniform and consistent. However, they are now each independently owned and Number Dos has slipped in quality.

 

Late yesterday afternoon I went over to a friend's house to drink, drug and kick his a$s in Madden. When his wife returned home, she announced she wanted take out from Numero Dos (the closest of the three establishments). I had previously cautioned them of their decline, but they were undeterred. WTF I figured, I hadn't eaten all day so I decided to get something as well. Not only would I call in the order, heck, I'll go pick it up and pay for it too. What can I say . . . I was raised right.

 

At this juncture, it is paramount to understand that Recidivist does not and will not eat cheese. I do not know how more clearly and explicitly I can make this point. My cheese-induced psychotic episodes are legendary. When placing an order, I go to great lengths to stress how important it is that my food is completely and totally cheeseless. I've been known to request to speak to someone else when placing an order if I have the slightest reservation about the initial call-taker's comprehension of the English language (yes, I could improve my fluency in Spanish, but this is America goddammnit).

 

I placed the order and was satisfied that my request for a "steak fajita burrito without cheese" would be fulfilled. I went to the restaurant at the prescribed time and was advised it would be a "few more minutes . . . perhaps you'd like to have a drink in the bar?". Great idea, as I had left my beer in the car and was indeed thirsty. I went to the bar and orderd a shot of Patron silver. I immediately realized shooting tequila is an ineffective time-killing activity. I promptly ordered another shot and downed it.

 

After 10 minutes my food arrived. Before leaving, I needed to check my order to make sure it was cheeseless. As I opened the lid, I smelled it before I saw it. Focking drenched in cheese. It looked like that Primus album cover. I told myself to cool out, they would fix it.

 

I politely informed them of their error. At first they wanted to suggest one hadn't been made. Stay cool I kept telling myself. Sure enough, the order had been taken correctly, but the beaner in the back neglected to take note of the "NO CHEESE" written next to it. It'll take 5 minutes to fix I was told.

 

Alright, back to the bar. This time, I just went ahead and ordered a double Patron silver. Ten minutes later, my food is back and looks to be correct - no cheese on the exterior of the burro. Cool.

 

Back at my friend's house he and his wife were aware of the hold-up and eagerly awaiting the arrival of their meal. We sit down to eat. I cut open my burrito and to my absolute horror I discover that they used the same cheese laden steak pieces. The outside was clean, but the innards were totally contaminated. These fockers do not understand "No Cheese". At this point, I'm still cooled out. I resolve to not be upset, I'll just call them up, advise them of their error, and request they deduct the $13.95 for my steak fajita burrito from the credit card charge. That's fair.

 

I called, advised them of the situation and my request. I was asked to hold on a moment. A woman (who turns out is the owner) gets on and asks what the problem is. I coolly and politely recount the events that have thus transpired and my seemingly wholly reasonable request for a refund. Her response? "That's not possible, as we do not put cheese on the inside." I told her that in this instance, it appears the kitchen violated their recipe as there is a distinct and appreciable quantity of cheese on the inside of this particular burrito.

 

After repeated denials on her part and protestations to the contrary on mine, she tells me that if I want a refund of any kind, I would have to come in so she could see this cheese covered meat I was complaining about. Flabbergasted, I advised the dear woman that the last thing she wanted was for me to return to her establishment. No return, no refund she maintained. At approximately this point I uttered my first F-bomb (in gerund form, modifying "nuts") and the line went dead.

 

My buddy, being the great friend he is, insists that I have no choice but to press on for the refund. In fact, he wants to come and watch (which he did from a safe distance while not letting on he was in anyway remotely associated with moi).

 

Upon my entrance to the restaurant, I shout out "WHERE'S THE MANAGER? I'M HERE TO SHOW HER MY MEAT!" The place was about 3/4 full at the time and I had commanded everyone's attention as I was speaking as loudly and lasciviously as possible. The hostess was just staring at me, mouth agape, so I implored her to "GO GET HER! SHE ASKED TO SEE MY MEAT AND I AM HERE TO SHOW IT TO HER!"

 

As she retreated to the back, I was glaring back at any customer or employee who had the temerity to attempt eye contact with me. Soon this fat POS (turns out was the owner's son) comes waddling out from the back. He got about 20' from me when I shouted "WHAT, YOU WANT TO SEE MEAT TOO?" He stopped in his tracks and returned from whence he came.

 

Soon, the woman I spoke to on the phone came out followed by her husband. They looked none too happy. I announced that I "BROUGHT MY MEAT FOR YOU TO LOOK AT". I was shocked that she actually intended to check it out before granting a refund. I obliged her by picking out several pieces. I would hold a piece up for her inspection, shout "LOOKS LIKE CHEESE TO ME!" and discard each piece onto the floor. After the fourth piece she told me she would need my credit card to process the refund. I told her that was "ABSOLUTEFUCKINGBULLSHIT" as she already had all my info at her disposal.

 

Her husband left briefly and returned with the refund slip and meekly stated that I was no longer welcome at Numero Dos. "THAT'S FOCKING PRESUMPTUOUS. YOU SHOULD REMAME THIS PLACE EL BANO".

 

On my way out the door I advised everyone "YOU ALL LIVE IN FILTH."

 

On the ride home my friend expressed regret in that he would have probably eaten my burrito dinner.

[Lackman 0]

Wish I could remember, that was waaaaay back in the day. Captain Ron or something similar.

 

Captain Allen

[Bert 1,101]

The crapper bustin' fatty thread was a classic.

[Lackman 0]

That was main bored. Another classic from the main bored was the "Guess which NFL kicker I am" thread where some moron tried to convince posters that he was an actual active NFL kicker...eventually someone found out his real identity and linked to his website where he took people out for fishing tours (the thread reached 10 pages in the course of a few hours).

 

Also, VikesNation half heartedly claimed he was Matt Stover for some time, but I could never see the end game to that bit.

 

There was another guy that claimed some related nonsense connected with an NFL player or was an NFL player. Was it Da Bomb (the lesser known one, since there have been a couple of them)?