Stanford Attack Victim's Letter

[Hardcore troubadour 12,931]

 

You've finally done it. You've outed yourself.

 

There's NO way you were a cop. No. Way.

 

NOBODY, including myself, suggested that the man isn't guilty or responsible for the assault.

 

Look, it's very simple. YOU are responsible for YOU. What happens to you, how drunk you get, whom you choose to trust.

Stop looking to BLAME someone. People do shitty things to other people, and no amount of public service announcements will stop it.

 

Yes, if someone rapes someone, they should be PUNISHED. (for the record, the kid in this story deserves a whole lot more than 6 months).

But it always takes 2 to tango, and you have to have some responsibility for yourself.

 

I'm sorry. It's just reality. Someone in LE would have seen this enough to realize that people should be prepared to defend themselves, and avoid bad situations.

I'm looking to BLAME the bad guy. Nobody else. Outed myself my ass. You know nothing about dealing with a victim of a violent crime. I never dealt with someone who raped themselves. And I wasn't "in" law enforcement, I WAS law enforcement. HTH

[parrot 789]

 

You go have hand-holding meetings and talk to them about respecting women.

See which one is more effective.

 

Seriously?

 

You act like they're mutually exclusive, they're not. Teaching guys to better respect women and teaching women to better protect themselves are both part of the solution. And if the women are more situationally aware, and guys are less predatory, there's little chance the women will be called upon to physically defend themselves. But yeah, let's just have them all carry guns in situations where alcohol and drugs are being consumed just on that off-chance anyway. No chance that goes sideways.

[cbfalcon 824]

I never dealt with someone who raped themselves.

 

In fairness, we've all done that

[Hardcore troubadour 12,931]

5 things you attempt to obtain for a police report: who, what, where, when and why. You don't ask a rape victim why though. I guess I should have.

 

Cop: Do you know WHO did this?

Victim: Yes, John Smith

Cop: What happened?

Victim: gives an account of the assault

Cop: where did it happen?

Victim: says where it happened

Cop: What time and date

Victim: gives time and date

Cop: Why did he rape you? - Yeah, I don't think that question is getting asked, but I guess the rest of you can fill us in on why and where her actions play in to it.

[peenie 1,702]

I want to hear the attackers side of the story. I am just curious how he says not guilty when he was caught in the act. Also I just read that he himnself was pretty drunk. This is all just a couple of kids getting too crazy.

 

Edit: Ok the story about the Swedish kid tackling him as he ran away is great. This dweeb thought he could beat meat then beat feet and got tackled instead.

 

It was in the article that the reason he says he is not guilty is because she consented. Although she was passed out drunk and apparently wasn't able to say another coherent word, just yes.

[wiffleball 4,679]

Sigh... If you read the woman's Very detailed statement, towards the end she specifically said that she Wanted To make this statement public In order to shine a light On the situation So that women could take steps to protect themselves and so that men knew the deep and lasting impact Upon their victims.Nobody other than tantastic is blaming her for being raped. But if other Women can learn from this experience, If men can learn from this experience, then some good Can come about from a very awful thing.

 

 

Nobody's saying That violent crime cant happen to you even if you do everything so called right.However, it's about risk mitigation. The logic some of you guys are displaying here Is akin to a couple teenagers getting killed on the road because they're texting and screwing around while they are driving And so the school holds an assembly about safe driving practices The next week. According to you guys, that would be blaming those poor teenagers for getting killed Because what the heck? Sometimes car wrecks occur Even if you're doing everything right so why bother teaching kids any sort of risk mitigation techniques?

 

Every responsible mother, every Big sister, Every woman's magazine, every rape prevention class, Have all issued the same kind of guidance I put forth in my original post And I stand by it.More importantly, The victim didn't list Such a graphic and raw Details and circumstances and emotions As a one-person pity party, again, she was very clear That she wanted to be The one shining a light on a horrific problem And the circumstances that can lead up to it and ways that women can mitigate the risk.

 

She deliberately provided a real world example And that took a lot of Courage. Every teenager and young college kid thinks that he or she is invincible and it will never happen to them. She rose up to say otherwise. And for those of you that think You shouldn't use Her powerful testimony As a teachable moment to prevent this from occurring again or at least mitigate the risk of it occurring again , You're just compounding the tragedy By staying silent and saying nothing.

 

But, there are posters on this board Who have proven repeatedly In thread after thread that they just Enjoy the bickering and the attention.

[Hardcore troubadour 12,931]

Risk mitigation is important before the crime occurs. It should be preached. But a victims actions have nothing to do with it after the fact. There aren't two victims here, only one. There is only one bad guy here and all of this is on him. End of story.

[tanatastic 2,061]

 

It was in the article that the reason he says he is not guilty is because she consented. Although she was passed out drunk and apparently wasn't able to say another coherent word, just yes.

Oh ok, so the real crime here was the kid didnt get better legal representation. A better lawyer would have gotten him off with no time at all.

[wiffleball 4,679]

Case in point.

 

 

 

 

And God forbid we learn From other people's experiences. Did you miss the part about her wanting to shine a light? Again, do you think she was just looking for pity?

 

 

And HT, It's pretty clear that you just enjoy bumping your gums. And that's fine, So did Giants fan. But it doesn't mean I have to feed the beast.So, agree or disagree I don't really give a s***. If you drive some sort of self-worth by quote end quote winning On this message board Well, good luck with that.

[Sho Nuff 720]

Oh ok, so the real crime here was the kid didnt get better legal representation. A better lawyer would have gotten him off with no time at all.

 

Not really...only if you listen to just a cliffs notes version of his side of things rather than take the whole case in consideration.

[tanatastic 2,061]

 

Not really...only if you listen to just a cliffs notes version of his side of things rather than take the whole case in consideration.

well obviously he is a guilty dirtbag, but I still say a better lawyer gets him off scott free.

[Hardcore troubadour 12,931]

Case in point.

 

 

 

 

And God forbid we learn From other people's experiences. Did you miss the part about her wanting to shine a light? Again, do you think she was just looking for pity?

 

 

And HT, It's pretty clear that you just enjoy bumping your gums. And that's fine, So did Giants fan. But it doesn't mean I have to feed the beast.So, agree or disagree I don't really give a s***. If you drive some sort of self-worth by quote end quote winning On this message board Well, good luck with that.

Riiiiight. Ok then

[MDC 5,961]

Risk mitigation is important before the crime occurs. It should be preached.

Then why do you call it victim blaming.

[Hardcore troubadour 12,931]

Then why do you call it victim blaming.

Because it should not factor in after the crime is committed. It's irrelevant. You would ask a rape victim if their actions played a role? No rapist, no rape. Simple isn't it?

[MDC 5,961]

Because it should not factor in after the crime is committed. It's irrelevant. You would ask a rape victim if their actions played a role? No rapist, no rape. Simple isn't it?

I said my wife warns my stepdaughter about dangerous situations. Your reply was:

 

And, what if she has a momentary lapse of reason? And what if she doesn't drink at all, but trusts a guy? And what if she just flat out gets assaulted? I guess we can always place some blame on the victim, a lot of good it will do. It will help the perp get a lighter sentence though. Boys will be boys

Warning women to avoid high risk situations isn't "blame."

 

HTH

[Hardcore troubadour 12,931]

I said my wife warns my stepdaughter about dangerous situations. Your reply was:

 

 

Warning women to avoid high risk situations isn't "blame."

 

HTH

What is the purpose then in bringing up her level of intoxication in this case? You can certainly warn against it without using this example. Besides, sober women get raped too. Yes, it may be a small level, but you are placing some of the blame on her.

[cbfalcon 824]

 

Nobody's saying That violent crime cant happen to you even if you do everything so called right.

 

Well, BLS says "it always takes 2 to tango".......so some people ARE saying it only happens to those that bring it upon themselves.

 

As for the rest of your post, I am in support of the message you are trying to send.......But as a father of a girl that pretty much is my entire heart, I wish we could heavily adjust the way we try to send that message.

 

This is kind of stream of consciousness, but I think it could be a male/female communication issue. As men, we just consider it an understood given that the guy is wrong, so we gloss over it quickly and then focus on trying to teach our woman how to protect themselves.......But I think woman feel the opposite. To them, it's an understood given that they should be aware and protect themselves, as being weaker and whatnot is a reality they live with every moment of their lives. So that's the given we should address quickly, before we go on and on about and needing to teach men what's going to happen to them if they ever rape someone...................................and lets face it, most rapists are dumbasses. And when a dumbass hears so little about why it's wrong to rape someone, and instead constantly hears lists of things woman did wrong to cause their own rape, a dumbass probably doesn't have to work too hard to find some implicit societal permission to fingerbang a girl behind a dumpster because she kissed him and the words she mumbled were too unintelligible to be a clear no.

[MDC 5,961]

What is the purpose then in bringing up her level of intoxication in this case? You can certainly warn against it without using this example. Besides, sober women get raped too. Yes, it may be a small level, but you are placing some of the blame on her.

I said my wife brought up being intoxicated with men you don't know as a high risk situation.

 

You're having a pretty bad week so far.

[Sho Nuff 720]

I said my wife brought up being intoxicated with men you don't know as a high risk situation.

 

You're having a pretty bad week so far.

 

When is he not having a pretty bad week?

And damn right being intoxicated...that intoxicated around guys like that is most certainly something I will warn my daughter about.

[Hardcore troubadour 12,931]

I said my wife brought up being intoxicated with men you don't know as a high risk situation.

 

You're having a pretty bad week so far.

Yeah, you're doing great taking down multiple posts you have made. That is your MO though

[drobeski 3,061]

Yeah, you're doing great taking down multiple posts you have made. That is your MO though

he has ?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[MDC 5,961]

Yeah, you're doing great taking down multiple posts you have made. That is your MO

though

Like what?

 

Your MO is changing your handle after Mag Bastard got a timeout for sharing Recliner Pilot's IP addy.

 

That, and getting your ass kicked daily.

[Hardcore troubadour 12,931]

Like what?

 

Your MO is changing your handle after Mag Bastard got a timeout for sharing Recliner Pilot's IP addy.

 

That, and getting your ass kicked daily.

Get help for your RPTSD. He occupies way too much of your psyche at this point. He did some number on you.

[Hardcore troubadour 12,931]

he has ?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Oh yeah. But when he gets busted it's because he was doing the right thing. Our hero.

[tanatastic 2,061]

Great thread so far.

[MDC 5,961]

Get help for your RP PTSD. He occupies way too much of your psyche at this point. He did some number on you.

It's cool I got rid of him.

 

What posts did I supposedly delete, Mag Pilot?

[Hardcore troubadour 12,931]

It's cool I got rid of him.

 

What posts did I supposedly delete, Mag Pilot?

You deny you did? If you do I guess I stand corrected. So, did you?

[MDC 5,961]

You deny you did? If you do I guess I stand corrected. So, did you?

Yes I deny taking down multiple posts as claimed by you. In reality I removed one line from a post and admitted it.

 

You just don't tire of being wrong and getting clobbered do you?

[Hardcore troubadour 12,931]

Yes I deny taking down multiple posts as claimed by you. In reality I removed one line from a post and admitted it.

 

You just don't tire of being wrong and getting clobbered do you?

Half right. Good enough. And of course your actions were heroic.

[Hardcore troubadour 12,931]

 

When is he not having a pretty bad week?

And damn right being intoxicated...that intoxicated around guys like that is most certainly something I will warn my daughter about.

Yeah, I said not to warn them. Listen to Mitch, a real bad ass. "Damn right I'll warn her". You are quite the rebel, with all those people telling you not too. Way to man up.

[MDC 5,961]

Half right. Good enough. And of course your actions were heroic.

Posts I deleted? Link to me claiming I was being heroic?

 

You're having a rough one Hardcore Pilot.

[Hardcore troubadour 12,931]

Posts I deleted? Link to me claiming I was being heroic?

 

You're having a rough one Hardcore Pilot.

Nerve struck. I win

[Cruzer 1,993]

I'm confused - didn't MDC and HT start out in this thread on the same side of this?

[Hardcore troubadour 12,931]

I'm confused - didn't MDC and HT start out in this thread on the same side of this?

Probably. He likes to take me on. It never takes him long to throw out some troll nonsense and then the inevitable RP reference. It's like clockwork.

[MDC 5,961]

I'm confused - didn't MDC and HT start out in this thread on the same side of this?

Yes. But HT is smarting from the beatdown he took in another thread and he's desperate to find a point if contention in this one.

[BunnysBastatrds 1,954]

We are in total agreement here.

This.

[vuduchile 1,941]

Yep. An endless argumentative thread full of rmff references and requests for "links to where I said this or that" and we're right back where we started a few months ago.

 

You people suck.

[MDC 5,961]

Yep. An endless argumentative thread full of rmff references and requests for "links to where I said this or that" and we're right back where we started a few months ago.

 

You people suck.

What else are you going to read here? You should he thanking me for today's entertainment. I'll get busy at work tomorrow and you'll complain about how slow the bored is.

[Hardcore troubadour 12,931]

Yep. An endless argumentative thread full of rmff references and requests for "links to where I said this or that" and we're right back where we started a few months ago.

 

You people suck.

BS. I bring it. You know this

[tanatastic 2,061]

What else are you going to read here? You should he thanking me for today's entertainment. I'll get busy at work tomorrow and you'll complain about how slow the bored is.

Thank you.