Stanford Attack Victim's Letter

[Hardcore troubadour 15,911]

I always think that somehow these s bags keep picking the victims that don't have a father or brother or uncle that would take matters into their own hands. My first stop would be dads house.

[tanatastic 2,062]

Girls fault for getting so drunk and being hot. Thats like dangling a ripe fruit from a tree and telling a guy not to pick it. Remember, not being able to reply may not be a yes, but its also not a no. That judge seems to agree.

[Hardcore troubadour 15,911]

So let's say someone just beat the shite out of her. Would it be her fault then?

[tanatastic 2,062]

So let's say someone just beat the shite out of her. Would it be her fault then?

No, assault would def not be her fault. He would have gotten more time most likely too.

[cbfalcon 827]

Obviously this guy's actions are absolutely inexcusable And I think castration is in order.

 

However if the only take away from this is that There are jerks out there like that, Then that only compounds the tragedy.

 

It doesn't say in the article, but elsewhere I read that this woman's BAC was .24.That's not just a matter of lowered alcohol resistance.Especially at a party where she is surrounded by dozens of people she has never met and certainly can't trust.She is not some 19 year old doe eyed freshman.

 

This is not shaming the victim, So stuff your PC b******* And your fake outrage. This is a teachable moment For those of you that have daughters And young sisters.

 

It sucks that young women have to worry About something as horrific as this. But they do. That's a fact of life. They need to be aware of their surroundings The people around them And their alcohol consumption.You don't get to three times the legal limit by having a couple of Cosmos.I am the last guy The harp on anybody's drinking habits, And if you're around friends and family or if you're at home Whatever, someplace safe, go for it. But if you're a college frat party With one younger flighty sister As your only Means of moderation and control, Watch your s***. If not for yourself, but for your little sister. If you are blackout drunk you are no good to your little sister.

 

And to you dads with sons, There's a teachable moment here too. Talk to them, really talk to them About What consent Looks like and sounds like and is.

 

 

This is a tragedy And a travesty.But as the victim stated, She hopes Her shining some light on this Might help others. You can sustain that light And spread that light And maybe just maybe help protect The women you love.

 

 

 

I said essentially the same thing on FB yesterday. Got BLASTED for it.

Didn't back down. It's YOUR responsibility to make sure you're not so goddamned wasted you can be raped behind a dumpster.

 

Yes, it's focked up he did it. But he's not the only one that way and women better learn.

 

Wiff's post gives us:

• 1 sentence saying the guy sucks.
• 4 sentences telling us things the girl did wrong
• 3 sentences defending the reasoning for telling us things the girl did wrong.
• 8 more sentences telling us what the girl did wrong.
• 2 sentences telling dad's to teach their sons to cover their asses
• 1 sentence saying the guy sucks
• 1 sentence saying woman better learn.

I get the intention. Control what you can. If you have a daughter, this is the message. But if speaking to a wider audience, it's a horrible message. It's a message that essentially accepts that dudes will rape, and focuses on woman needing to wise up and ensure that it's the girl behind them that will get raped instead of them.

 

Shouldn't the whole public message be that rapists are less than human, and anyone that commits such an act will have but a shell of a life afterward? Instead the energy is on what girls do wrong and telling them not to drink too much, dress too sexy, or flirt.

 

I know I'm toeing a fine line here, but the buzzed, flirty, sexily dressed girl is one of the greatest things in life. Not only is it fun, but the drunken bad decision can be a healthy growing experience. ......But as guys, we try to have it both ways. We want the fun that comes with a girl in a sexy outfit after few drinks. But then when one of us commits a violent and horrible crime, we seemingly imply to woman that this is the risk they run for acting in a way that all parties benefit from 99 of 100 times...................So while Wiff's message is one that if followed, ends the fun for everybody, I'd rather just focus on the rapists. Get rid of them and they are the only ones that don't get to have fun. It needs to be 100% demonized, and any commentary in regards to what the woman could have done differently should simply be a parent's message to their daughter.

[edjr 6,898]

 

 

 

Wiff's post gives us:

• 1 sentence saying the guy sucks.
• 4 sentences telling us things the girl did wrong
• 3 sentences defending the reasoning for telling us things the girl did wrong.
• 8 more sentences telling us what the girl did wrong.
• 2 sentences telling dad's to teach their sons to cover their asses
• 1 sentence saying the guy sucks
• 1 sentence saying woman better learn.

I get the intention. Control what you can. If you have a daughter, this is the message. But if speaking to a wider audience, it's a horrible message. It's a message that essentially accepts that dudes will rape, and focuses on woman needing to wise up and ensure that it's the girl behind them that will get raped instead of them.

 

Shouldn't the public message be that rapists are less than human, and anyone that commits such an act will have but a shell of a life afterward? Instead the energy is on what girls do wrong and telling them not to drink too much, dress too sexy, or flirt.

 

I know I'm toeing a fine line here, but the buzzed, flirty, sexily dressed girl is one of the greatest things in life. Not only is it fun, but the drunken bad decision can be a healthy growing experience. ......But as guys, we try to have it both ways. We want the fun that comes with a girl in a sexy outfit after few drinks. But then when one of us commits a violent and horrible crime, we seemingly imply to woman that this is they risk they run for acting in a way that all parties benefit from 99 of 100 times...................So while Wiff's message is one that if followed, ends the fun for everybody, I'd rather just focus on the rapists. Get rid of them and they are the only ones that don't get to have fun. It needs to be 100% demonized, and any commentary in regards to what the woman could have done differently should simply be a parent's message to their daughter.

 

[wiffleball 4,797]

Falcon, please quote me where I talked about flirting or dressing too sexy. Thanks in advance.

[Hardcore troubadour 15,911]

No, assault would def not be her fault. He would have gotten more time most likely too.

So her drinking isn't a factor in this. Good. Wiffle gets it wrong again.

[MDC 7,887]

I'm with wiffle on this one. I should be able to walk through North Philadelphia dressed well and carrying a briefcase at all hours of the night without being accosted. But if I did that, I would be drastically increasing my chances of being a target.

 

That's not victim blaming or letting the perp off the hook: It's acknowledging reality. Nobody would ever suggest that we focus our efforts on teaching criminals not to commit muggings. How is this situation so much different?

[Hardcore troubadour 15,911]

I'm with wiffle on this one. I should be able to walk through North Philadelphia dressed well and carrying a briefcase at all hours of the night without being accosted. But if I did that, I would be drastically increasing my chances of being a target.

 

That's not victim blaming or letting the perp off the hook: It's acknowledging reality. Nobody would ever suggest that we focus our efforts on teaching criminals not to commit muggings. How is this situation so much different?

Your trolling efforts grow more transparent every day. Rmff

[cbfalcon 827]

Falcon, please quote me where I talked about flirting or dressing too sexy. Thanks in advance.

You didn't. You spoke at length about her drinking alcohol.

 

While your words invoked my response, it's a message directed to all. And most would agree, flirting, attire, etc are often also cited by the same people that focus on how much the rape victim had to drink.

[BLS 314]

 

 

 

Wiff's post gives us:

• 1 sentence saying the guy sucks.
• 4 sentences telling us things the girl did wrong
• 3 sentences defending the reasoning for telling us things the girl did wrong.
• 8 more sentences telling us what the girl did wrong.
• 2 sentences telling dad's to teach their sons to cover their asses
• 1 sentence saying the guy sucks
• 1 sentence saying woman better learn.

I get the intention. Control what you can. If you have a daughter, this is the message. But if speaking to a wider audience, it's a horrible message. It's a message that essentially accepts that dudes will rape, and focuses on woman needing to wise up and ensure that it's the girl behind them that will get raped instead of them.

 

Shouldn't the whole public message be that rapists are less than human, and anyone that commits such an act will have but a shell of a life afterward? Instead the energy is on what girls do wrong and telling them not to drink too much, dress too sexy, or flirt.

 

I know I'm toeing a fine line here, but the buzzed, flirty, sexily dressed girl is one of the greatest things in life. Not only is it fun, but the drunken bad decision can be a healthy growing experience. ......But as guys, we try to have it both ways. We want the fun that comes with a girl in a sexy outfit after few drinks. But then when one of us commits a violent and horrible crime, we seemingly imply to woman that this is the risk they run for acting in a way that all parties benefit from 99 of 100 times...................So while Wiff's message is one that if followed, ends the fun for everybody, I'd rather just focus on the rapists. Get rid of them and they are the only ones that don't get to have fun. It needs to be 100% demonized, and any commentary in regards to what the woman could have done differently should simply be a parent's message to their daughter.

 

Yep.

 

Because just like every other crime out there, history has PROVEN, beyond any reasonable doubt, that it can and WILL happen.

You can take (this is metaphorical, not towards you per se) your feelings about rape and toss em out the window. Because as long as men have sex drive, and woman are alive, rape will happen. You better get used to REALITY.

[MDC 7,887]

Your trolling efforts grow more transparent every day. Rmff

I am not trolling but I absolutely am living in your head rent free.

[Sho Nuff 720]

Girls fault for getting so drunk and being hot. Thats like dangling a ripe fruit from a tree and telling a guy not to pick it. Remember, not being able to reply may not be a yes, but its also not a no. That judge seems to agree.

If you are not fishing, you are a focking moron with this .

[Hardcore troubadour 15,911]

 

Yep.

 

Because just like every other crime out there, history has PROVEN, beyond any reasonable doubt, that it can and WILL happen.

You can take (this is metaphorical, not towards you per se) your feelings about rape and toss em out the window. Because as long as men have sex drive, and woman are alive, rape will happen. You better get used to REALITY.

But assaults and other crimes have always and will always happen. Why is rape being singled out? That's not the only bad thing that can happen, right?

[cbfalcon 827]

 

Yep.

 

Because just like every other crime out there, history has PROVEN, beyond any reasonable doubt, that it can and WILL happen.

You can take (this is metaphorical, not towards you per se) your feelings about rape and toss em out the window. Because as long as men have sex drive, and woman are alive, rape will happen. You better get used to REALITY.

 

BLS: "Because as long as men have sex drive, and woman are alive, rape will happen. You better get used to REALITY"

CBF: "Because as long as woman have sex drive, and men are alive, flirting and drinking a bit too much will happen. You better get used to REALITY.

 

Guess what. We are both right. Now where should we focus?

1. Do we focus on putting a dent in the 800 guys per day in this country (or whatever) that rape woman? Keeping in mind that any dent would directly reduce rapes.
2. Or do we try and put a dent in the hundreds of millions of females drinking and flirting? Keeping in mind that any dent would be unlikely to reduce rapes, but would instead just change the name of the victim. Really, the only thing you'd put a dent in is alcohol aided consensual sex.

[wiffleball 4,797]

Whatever guys, I swear I think There are many of you who actually enjoy the silly ass slap fights And would say the sky is green if somebody said it was blue Just for the sake of Bitching back and forth.

 

If you think any responsible parent Hasn't had the kind of conversation that I referred to With their daughters Going off to college Or elsewhere, you are mistaken. Basic common-sense things like Know your environment Maintain your wits about you Don't go anywhere alone.It sure as hell doesn't mean That if they don't do these things they deserve to be violently Raped Or anything else. It is just basic common sense that Any and every good parent would impart upon their daughters As part of growing up.

[MDC 7,887]

I agree with you wiffle.

 

My stepdaughter is 16 and my wife already warns her about drinking to excess and/or ending up alone with guy(s) she doesn't know well. That's just common sense.

[Hardcore troubadour 15,911]

I agree with you wiffle.

 

My stepdaughter is 16 and my wife already warns her about drinking to excess and/or ending up alone with guy(s) she doesn't know well. That's just common sense.

And, what if she has a momentary lapse of reason? And what if she doesn't drink at all, but trusts a guy? And what if she just flat out gets assaulted? I guess we can always place some blame on the victim, a lot of good it will do. It will help the perp get a lighter sentence though. Boys will be boys

[Cruzer 1,996]

Girls fault for getting so drunk and being hot. Thats like dangling a ripe fruit from a tree and telling a guy not to pick it. Remember, not being able to reply may not be a yes, but its also not a no. That judge seems to agree.

The girl getting drunk doesn't endanger, violate or harm the guy. Him throwing her behind a dumpster, raping the shiat out of her kind of does.

 

Some of you people are ridiculous.

[MDC 7,887]

And, what if she has a momentary lapse of reason? And what if she doesn't drink at all, but trusts a guy? And what if she just flat out gets assaulted? I guess we can always place some blame on the victim, a lot of good it will do. It will help the perp get a lighter sentence though. Boys will be boys

I disagree with the premise that telling women there are things they can do to reduce their odds of being a target in any way = blaming the victim.

[Sho Nuff 720]

I disagree with the premise that telling women there are things they can do to reduce their odds of being a target in any way = blaming the victim.

You can't use reason with unreasonable people.

[Hardcore troubadour 15,911]

I disagree with the premise that telling women there are things they can do to reduce their odds of being a target in any way = blaming the victim.

Of course. But only in rape do you point a finger at her and her actions. A guy gets shithoused and jumped, you don't bring up his actions.

[vuduchile 1,947]

Girls fault for getting so drunk and being hot. Thats like dangling a ripe fruit from a tree and telling a guy not to pick it. Remember, not being able to reply may not be a yes, but its also not a no. That judge seems to agree.

Your board persona is nearly enough to qualify you for the sexual offenders registry.

 

How can you even type this with a straight face?

[MDC 7,887]

Of course. But only in rape do you point a finger at her and her actions. A guy gets shithoused and jumped, you don't bring up his actions.

If I told my son not to get sh1thoused and wander around a bad neighborhood alone at night nobody would call that victim blaming. I wouldn't be pointing a finger or issuing an "I told you so" either way.

[Hardcore troubadour 15,911]

If I told my son not to get sh1thoused and wander around a bad neighborhood alone at night nobody would call that victim blaming. I wouldn't be pointing a finger or issuing an "I told you so" either way.

Why does it have to be a bad neighborhood? This rape happened at one of the best colleges in the world. So we can forget about that part of it.

[parrot 789]

One thing I haven't heard discussed much is the two guys who stepped in and stopped the assault. We need more of those guys, we need to BE those guys, and probably more pertinently, we need our sons to BE those guys. Sure, BLS is right, rape is going to happen, but we - AS MEN - can go along way towards reducing this kind of rape it if we recognize it for what it is before it happens and have the guts to step in and stop it.

[MDC 7,887]

Why does it have to be a bad neighborhood? This rape happened at one of the best colleges in the world. So we can forget about that part of it.

Because a frat house party is a high risk environment. They didn't teach you this at cop school?

[BLS 314]

But assaults and other crimes have always and will always happen. Why is rape being singled out? That's not the only bad thing that can happen, right?

 

Because it's the thread topic?????

[Cruzer 1,996]

One thing I haven't heard discussed much is the two guys who stepped in and stopped the assault. We need more of those guys, we need to BE those guys, and probably more pertinently, we need our sons to BE those guys. Sure, BLS is right, rape is going to happen, but we - AS MEN - can go along way towards reducing this kind of rape it if we recognize it for what it is before it happens and have the guts to step in and stop it.

These guys will prolly be sued for assaulting the piece of crap dude.... Bcoz, as some here have pointed out, he wasn't doing anything wrong - it was her fault....

[BLS 314]

 

 

BLS: "Because as long as men have sex drive, and woman are alive, rape will happen. You better get used to REALITY"

CBF: "Because as long as woman have sex drive, and men are alive, flirting and drinking a bit too much will happen. You better get used to REALITY.

 

Guess what. We are both right. Now where should we focus?

1. Do we focus on putting a dent in the 800 guys per day in this country (or whatever) that rape woman? Keeping in mind that any dent would directly reduce rapes.
2. Or do we try and put a dent in the hundreds of millions of females drinking and flirting? Keeping in mind that any dent would be unlikely to reduce rapes, but would instead just change the name of the victim. Really, the only thing you'd put a dent in is alcohol aided consensual sex.

 

 

I'll arm em all, and teach em how to be careful.

 

You try to teach men that rape is wrong, try to ban internet porn, and do whatever else is necessary to stop it.

 

I'll race you.

[Jetdoc 20]

One thing I haven't heard discussed much is the two guys who stepped in and stopped the assault. We need more of those guys, we need to BE those guys, and probably more pertinently, we need our sons to BE those guys. Sure, BLS is right, rape is going to happen, but we - AS MEN - can go along way towards reducing this kind of rape it if we recognize it for what it is before it happens and have the guts to step in and stop it.

 

Exactly. I think we should encourage people that witness rape to go ahead and rape the rapist. That'll teach 'em something fierce.

[tanatastic 2,062]

I want to hear the attackers side of the story. I am just curious how he says not guilty when he was caught in the act. Also I just read that he himnself was pretty drunk. This is all just a couple of kids getting too crazy.

 

Edit: Ok the story about the Swedish kid tackling him as he ran away is great. This dweeb thought he could beat meat then beat feet and got tackled instead.

[parrot 789]

 

I'll arm em all, and teach em how to be careful.

 

 

Yeah, let's introduce firearms into college frat parties. That should end well.

[Hardcore troubadour 15,911]

Because a frat house party is a high risk environment. They didn't teach you this at cop school?

Nope. I doubt frat house was ever mentioned.

[BLS 314]

And, what if she has a momentary lapse of reason? And what if she doesn't drink at all, but trusts a guy? And what if she just flat out gets assaulted? I guess we can always place some blame on the victim, a lot of good it will do. It will help the perp get a lighter sentence though. Boys will be boys

 

You've finally done it. You've outed yourself.

 

There's NO way you were a cop. No. Way.

 

NOBODY, including myself, suggested that the man isn't guilty or responsible for the assault.

 

Look, it's very simple. YOU are responsible for YOU. What happens to you, how drunk you get, whom you choose to trust.

Stop looking to BLAME someone. People do shitty things to other people, and no amount of public service announcements will stop it.

 

Yes, if someone rapes someone, they should be PUNISHED. (for the record, the kid in this story deserves a whole lot more than 6 months).

But it always takes 2 to tango, and you have to have some responsibility for yourself.

 

I'm sorry. It's just reality. Someone in LE would have seen this enough to realize that people should be prepared to defend themselves, and avoid bad situations.

[cbfalcon 827]

I disagree with the premise that telling women there are things they can do to reduce their odds of being a target in any way = blaming the victim.

 

Here is the issue.

 

Before the crime, we should 100% educate our daughters. I don't think many disagree. But we should also spend time putting the message out there that if you rape a chick, ruining her and her family's life in many cases, you are scum and your life will be ruined. That message isn't out there.

 

After the crime, nobody should say a goddammned word to a girl about how she could have ensured the girl behind her got raped instead. She didn't do a damn thing wrong by getting drunk. She didn't do a damn thing wrong by dancing with a guy. She didn't do a damn thing wrong by not staying with her sister. She didn't do a damn thing wrong by acting like a normal human being.

[BLS 314]

 

Yeah, let's introduce firearms into college frat parties. That should end well.

 

You go have hand-holding meetings and talk to them about respecting women.

See which one is more effective.

 

Seriously?

[Sho Nuff 720]

I want to hear the attackers side of the story. I am just curious how he says not guilty when he was caught in the act. Also I just read that he himnself was pretty drunk. This is all just a couple of kids getting too crazy.

He claimed they were making out and hooking up. Then he asked to finger her and she passed out. Of course, doesn't explain why he keeps going after she did or why he ran when caught leaving her there naked and passed out.

There is no story of his that makes him sound good.

[MDC 7,887]

 

Here is the issue.

 

Before the crime, we should 100% educate our daughters. I don't think many disagree. But we should also spend time putting the message out there that if you rape a chick, ruining her and her family's life in many cases, you are scum and your life will be ruined. That message isn't out there.

 

After the crime, nobody should say a goddammned word to a girl about how she could have ensured the girl behind her got raped instead. She didn't do a damn thing wrong by getting drunk. She didn't do a damn thing wrong by dancing with a guy. She didn't do a damn thing wrong by not staying with her sister. She didn't do a damn thing wrong by acting like a normal human being.

 

We are in total agreement here.