Do you have female friends?

[WhiteWonder 2,723]

@TheNewGirls post about apologizing to an ex for some reason got me thinking about this topic. 

A lot of women seem to always say or think that a woman can be friends with a man with no ulterior motive but men can't do the same. I think women overestimate their ability but I do think there are lots of women who like having gay guys as friends... so that alone makes it more likely. 

So I am curious if posters here legitimately have female friends they have never slept with, don't want to sleep with OR who don't want to sleep with THEM. 

 

I don't think that I do. I'm not counting co workers who I get along with at work because I generally don't consider them friends. My best female friend is a woman I slept with numerous times roughly 15 years ago. I have 2 other women I consider to be my friends currently who I don't feel the urge to sleep with. However, one of them who I find attractive enough has become a sort of friend with benefits (she initiated) and the other flat out told me she wants to have secks, but she is not at all my type physically and the friend group dynamic would become awkward. 

 

This is obviously easier for married geeks, so the question also includes "if you were not married". Meaning is the existence of your wife the only thing stopping you from wanting to bang that female friend? How many of these female friends are just her friends who have become part of your social circle... do you really consider them to be your friends? 

[Bier Meister 1,687]

i do... and i would if not married

[WhiteWonder 2,723]

9 minutes ago, Bier Meister said:

i do... and i would if not married

fair. I have always been on the slightly introverted side and prefer to keep my friend groups smaller. I'm sure that plays into it.  When i've been in longer relationships, I end up becoming friendly with some of her friends but never to the point where i'd consider them friends after we've broken up. 

I do make an effort to have more female friends but it genuinely seems like every time I make a female friend who I get along with personality wise and have no attraction to, they are attracted to me. Or vice versa. 

[Bier Meister 1,687]

I would add to your comment that i think that developing platonic friendships with females is also very strategically beneficial if single.  some of my best girl friends were my best "wingmen."

 

Met my wife via our mutual female friend

[Strike 5,445]

Besides your mom?

[HellToupee 1,721]

Does a work wife count?

[TheNewGirl 1,473]

Very interesting topic. 

 Men are socially programmed by peers and by media to sexualize women. This is a fact, and even has some biological lizard-brain programming that men inherently have to "further the population." It just happens. Men look at ANY woman and within minutes they are thinking about focking her or what she looks like naked. 

Women don't typically tend to sexualize men, society doesn't really push this on us. Of course, things have changed some and you DO see it more often now, in terms of social media, but take away social media and it's not as prevalent in normal society or just on TV. 

My running coach is my friend. I've been with his team for over 10 years and it's more of a friendship than business relationship. I don't want to fock him, I never have, and I never would even if not married. He's probably the only one. 

I have other male friends (mostly from my running team) that I'd consider focking if I weren't married, but it's not something I think or fantasize about. 

[Engorgeous George 2,291]

Currently, no.  In my lifetime, many, but only with women who were potential sexual partners.  I'm shallow, no ugos as friends though I would have them as cordial acquaintences.   I'm not proud of it, but there it is.

[frank 2,295]

 

[BunnysBastatrds 2,413]

  I was better friends with the wemens. Had about seven. And the treated mme like a big brother. I wanted them all so damn bad, but understood our friendships. Patio, Monique, Gina, knew all of them since third grade. Roxanne, Sloan, and a stripper. All HS. I did finger two of them. Gina was on the rag so I got a bloody nose and and a bJ from the Jewish stripper. 

[Maximum Overkill 1,915]

I have a lot of female friends, mostly ones that I've served with over the years. I'm so close with one of them that she moved her entire Family just so we could closer to each other. She's like my Sister and my Wife's best friend now. 

[seafoam1 2,939]

It's often the very effeminate "guys" who had a lot of girls as friends only. It's easy for the women to not be attracted to them.  

[seafoam1 2,939]

11 minutes ago, Maximum Overkill said:

I have a lot of female friends, mostly ones that I've served with over the years. I'm so close with one of them that she moved her entire Family just so we could closer to each other. She's like my Sister and my Wife's best friend now. 

If they start out as work relationships that's a bit different. But if you go out and meet a chick in a grocery store or the like and become friends, but nothing more, it's kind of odd.

 

[Maximum Overkill 1,915]

Just now, seafoam1 said:

If they start out as work relationships that's a bit different. But if you go out and meet a chick in a grocery store or the like and become friends, but nothing more, it's kind of odd.

 

Ohh no, my Wife would kill a biatch. 

[seafoam1 2,939]

Just now, Maximum Overkill said:

Ohh no, my Wife would kill a biatch. 

Back in the early day I had a roommate once, who only had girl friends. I think like one guy friend. And 90% of the girls were hotties. All my friends and I thought he was gay but he never gave evidence of being either gay or straight. Never dated anyone. Fun guy but so odd. I met a few girls through him though. 

[Bier Meister 1,687]

24 minutes ago, seafoam1 said:

It's often the very effeminate "guys" who had a lot of girls as friends only. It's easy for the women to not be attracted to them.  

once again, you demonstrate how little you know.

[Maximum Overkill 1,915]

7 minutes ago, seafoam1 said:

Back in the early day I had a roommate once, who only had girl friends. I think like one guy friend. And 90% of the girls were hotties. All my friends and I thought he was gay but he never gave evidence of being either gay or straight. Never dated anyone. Fun guy but so odd. I met a few girls through him though. 

It always pays to have a Homo friend,  they draw in the phag hags. The slutz love hanging with the pillow biters. 

[WhiteWonder 2,723]

2 hours ago, Engorgeous George said:

Currently, no.  In my lifetime, many, but only with women who were potential sexual partners.  I'm shallow, no ugos as friends though I would have them as cordial acquaintences.   I'm not proud of it, but there it is.

So your answer is mostly no, even in the past. That was kind of my point. If you feel like you’d want to sleep with them, they don’t count for this discussion. 

[WhiteWonder 2,723]

16 minutes ago, seafoam1 said:

If they start out as work relationships that's a bit different. But if you go out and meet a chick in a grocery store or the like and become friends, but nothing more, it's kind of odd.

 

If you have a friend group (you probably don’t) and you are introduced to a cool chick who has some similar interests, the idea is you can become friends, hang at the bar, etc. 

[Engorgeous George 2,291]

5 minutes ago, WhiteWonder said:

So your answer is mostly no, even in the past. That was kind of my point. If you feel like you’d want to sleep with them, they don’t count for this discussion. 

Exactly correct.  I'm shallow.

[seafoam1 2,939]

6 minutes ago, Bier Meister said:

once again, you demonstrate how little you know.

I see. You are one of those effeminate  guys. Got it. 

That must hurt looking back on your past and realizing it now. Ouch. 

[WhiteWonder 2,723]

2 hours ago, TheNewGirl said:

Very interesting topic. 

 Men are socially programmed by peers and by media to sexualize women. This is a fact, and even has some biological lizard-brain programming that men inherently have to "further the population." It just happens. Men look at ANY woman and within minutes they are thinking about focking her or what she looks like naked. 

Women don't typically tend to sexualize men, society doesn't really push this on us. 

My running coach is my friend. I've been with his team for over 10 years and it's more of a friendship than business relationship. I don't want to fock him, I never have, and I never would even if not married. He's probably the only one. 

I have other male friends (mostly from my running team) that I'd consider focking if I weren't married, but it's not something I think or fantasize about. 

So for the first part, I disagree and I think women sexualize men WAY more than they want to admit. Not as much as men do to women, but it’s there. I can’t even count the number of times I had a group a female coworkers comment about a cute client, guy in a different department, etc. 

The second part is why I put the preface of “if you were not married”  so the answer for you is yes. You have guys in your life you consider to be friends that you would also want to bang if you were a single woman. The running coach for example. You might not want to but do you think he would want you?

Marriage makes it easier to have strictly “friends” of the opposite sex. It’s easy to say “I would never think about sleeping with them, I’m married!”, but the question is would they still be your purely platonic friend if your significant other didn’t exist. 

[Engorgeous George 2,291]

2 minutes ago, WhiteWonder said:

So for the first part, I disagree and I think women sexualize men WAY more than they want to admit. Not as much as men do to women, but it’s there. I can’t even count the number of times I had a group a female coworkers comment about a cute client, guy in a different department, etc. 

The second part is why I put the preface of “if you were not married”  so the answer for you is yes. You have guys in your life you consider to be friends that you would also want to bang if you were a single woman. The running coach for example. You might not want to but do you think he would want you?

Marriage makes it easier to have strictly “friends” of the opposite sex. It’s easy to say “I would never think about sleeping with them, I’m married!”, but the question is would they still be your purely platonic friend if your significant other didn’t exist. 

Those are cordial acquaintances.  They are tolerated and treated cordially due to the other half of the couple and out of respect for your other half.  In those instances when the wife islooking for trouble and asks if her friend, the married friend is attractive or looked good tonight or any other iteration of the trap question the man's proper response is "she's attractive enough to be with him but she's not remotely in your league baby, not remotely!

[Bier Meister 1,687]

8 minutes ago, seafoam1 said:

I see. You are one of those effeminate  guys. Got it. 

That must hurt looking back on your past and realizing it now. Ouch. 

Once again incorrect. 
 

you just step in crap at every opportunity 

[jerryskids 6,736]

3 hours ago, TheNewGirl said:

Very interesting topic. 

 Men are socially programmed by peers and by media to sexualize women. This is a fact, and even has some biological lizard-brain programming that men inherently have to "further the population." It just happens. Men look at ANY woman and within minutes they are thinking about focking her or what she looks like naked. 

Women don't typically tend to sexualize men, society doesn't really push this on us. Of course, things have changed some and you DO see it more often now, in terms of social media, but take away social media and it's not as prevalent in normal society or just on TV. 

My running coach is my friend. I've been with his team for over 10 years and it's more of a friendship than business relationship. I don't want to fock him, I never have, and I never would even if not married. He's probably the only one. 

I have other male friends (mostly from my running team) that I'd consider focking if I weren't married, but it's not something I think or fantasize about. 

I've told my wife that for every woman I meet, within seconds I decide if I would hypothetically bang her.  She doesn't mind that I think this, because she understands men, but it does kinda bug her to think that other guys think this when they meet her.

[supermike80 1,887]

Used to have a really close friend before she and her husband moved.  She was hot with a great rack.  But we were only friends and it was cool.

Once her, my wife, and i were at a bar. She grabbed my wifes head and said to her.."im not gonna fock your husband" right in front of me.

It was a killer move.  Wife never worried about us going out or working together.  It was a good friendship and i got along great with her husband as well.

Always proud of that one.  Generally yes guys wanna do their hot girl "friends" but in this case it was a true friendship.

[5-Points 3,485]

I've been married for almost 27 years, so any female friends I have are our friends. I don't have any female friends my wife doesn't know. 

Before we met? Yeah, I had a couple. Just cool chicks that were fun to hang out with. 

[jerryskids 6,736]

36 minutes ago, 5-Points said:

I've been married for almost 27 years, so any female friends I have are our friends. I don't have any female friends my wife doesn't know. 

Before we met? Yeah, I had a couple. Just cool chicks that were fun to hang out with. 

This is pretty much me.  Although, I do have one female friend through a volunteer activity we co-manage.  My wife hasn't met her, but not because I've avoided it, it just hasn't worked out.  She's a few years younger than me (I'm 58 this July) and her husband passed away about a year ago.  She's passable looking, which is to say I'd hit it if I were single.  But she has some personality quirks which would prohibit an ongoing relationship IMO.  So since she is a friend, I wouldn't hit it and cause that grief to our friendship.  

[WhiteWonder 2,723]

So I see a lot of married geeks saying things similar to Jerry above .., “she’s passable looking, which is to say I’d hit it if I were single “

I think these statements mean that if you didn’t have a wife, these female friends would be women you want to bang… or not really friends. 

[seafoam1 2,939]

4 hours ago, Bier Meister said:

Once again incorrect. 
 

you just step in crap at every opportunity 

Well, I stepped in you again, so I guess you are right at least part of the time. 

It's a shame you don't know much about being male.  

[Bier Meister 1,687]

Poor peetilt can’t find a fact if it bit him in the knee

[seafoam1 2,939]

 

7 minutes ago, Bier Meister said:

Poor peetilt can’t find a fact if it bit him in the knee

Hey, I agreed that you knew personally that BB gives bad hand jobs Pee Meister. 

I considered your experience with him and could see that as true. You know it first HAND.  

[Bier Meister 1,687]

Just now, seafoam1 said:

 

Hey, I agreed that you knew personally that BB gives bad hand jobs. 

I considered your experience with him and could see that as true. You know it first HAND.  

Poor guy. Can’t decipher fact from fiction from satire.

 

just a pathetic troll 

[seafoam1 2,939]

1 hour ago, Bier Meister said:

Poor guy. Can’t decipher fact from fiction from satire.

 

just a pathetic troll 

Poor Pee Meister can't decipher winning from losing.

[Kopy 565]

I feel like age has a lot to do with the question also.

30 year's ago I would've banged a hole in a tree. Now. I'm good. I'd rather just grab a burger and a beer.

 

[Hardcore troubadour 15,282]

But it poses the eternal question: How can we be lovers if we can’t be friends? 

[jbycho 754]

1 minute ago, Hardcore troubadour said:

But it poses the eternal question: How can we be lovers if we can’t be friends? 

"I love you, but I'm not IN love with you." 

Sounds like a rusty type dilemma during pride month. . 

[jerryskids 6,736]

12 hours ago, WhiteWonder said:

So I see a lot of married geeks saying things similar to Jerry above .., “she’s passable looking, which is to say I’d hit it if I were single “

I think these statements mean that if you didn’t have a wife, these female friends would be women you want to bang… or not really friends. 

Eh... it's a spectrum I think.  There are plenty of women in our circle of friends/acquaintances who, if neither of us were married, I'd be humping their legs like a dog in heat.  Most of the women we see regularly are friends from our gym, so they are fit and generally younger than me.  The one I mentioned, as I said she's passable, but combined with some personality things and her situation, I don't think I'd do it.  I certainly don't think about it.

Heck, I've been married for 30+ years.  If I woke up single tomorrow, I'd have no idea how to approach a woman.  Is there an app for that? I'd probably just give all my money to some ho on Chaturbate or something.   

 

[TheNewGirl 1,473]

16 hours ago, WhiteWonder said:

So for the first part, I disagree and I think women sexualize men WAY more than they want to admit. Not as much as men do to women, but it’s there. 

I agree with you, I thought I said this above? 

It happens, but not as often as with men. 

And...I wouldn't equate someone saying that a man is cute or good looking means they'd fock him. I can totally look at a man and think, "Wow, he's hot." and still not want to bang him. 

[seafoam1 2,939]

13 minutes ago, TheNewGirl said:

I agree with you, I thought I said this above? 

It happens, but not as often as with men. 

And...I wouldn't equate someone saying that a man is cute or good looking means they'd fock him. I can totally look at a man and think, "Wow, he's hot." and still not want to bang him. 

This is not true. Women do it just as much. Maybe once you get over 60 men still admire women more than the other way around, but no way is there a difference between the two prior to that.