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davebg

Had marriage counseling last nite

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I'd like to think that it's just a whole bunch of pent up frustration, but you may be right. :wacko:

I hope it is just frustration. I hate the idea of any marriage failing. If it is frustration, you need to move past it and work to resolve it. You do not appear to be in a frame of mind where any resolution outside of divorce is possible.

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It does sound like you don't like her anymore. Not sure about hate. Dude, then just move on. Why waste money and time on this?? This I don't get. You need for her to change quite a bit before you may like her again, much less love her. How many years do you want to give it a go before you see it isn't gonna happen? There's only so much a person will change if that person feels that's what he/she wants to do for HIM/HERSELF, not for the other person or the marriage- and I don't see this happening with either one of you, seriously. I think the wall has gone up so high now that I'm not sure you guys can break it down ok. You need to sit down and seriously think about how long you want to give it a shot. I'm not pro or against divorce- just into doing what feels right while you're still young. The longer it goes the harder and worse it will be. My mom held on for 17 years, and she kicked herself because she knew a couple years after getting married it just wasn't well thought out. She was 40 when we finally convinced her she needs to move on now and not be so frustrated and unhappy anymore. Now she is living a healthy and happy life, and same with my dad. If it's dead in the water, it probably won't come back to where it was when you first met. Just my 1 cent thought's worth.

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It does sound like you don't like her anymore. Not sure about hate. Dude, then just move on. Why waste money and time on this?? This I don't get. You need for her to change quite a bit before you may like her again, much less love her. How many years do you want to give it a go before you see it isn't gonna happen? There's only so much a person will change if that person feels that's what he/she wants to do for HIM/HERSELF, not for the other person or the marriage- and I don't see this happening with either one of you, seriously. I think the wall has gone up so high now that I'm not sure you guys can break it down ok. You need to sit down and seriously think about how long you want to give it a shot. I'm not pro or against divorce- just into doing what feels right while you're still young. The longer it goes the harder and worse it will be. My mom held on for 17 years, and she kicked herself because she knew a couple years after getting married it just wasn't well thought out. She was 40 when we finally convinced her she needs to move on now and not be so frustrated and unhappy anymore. Now she is living a healthy and happy life, and same with my dad. If it's dead in the water, it probably won't come back to where it was when you first met. Just my 1 cent thought's worth.

He may be at this point. That was the conclusion I drew a few posts ago. But then he backed up some. Personally I say keep going with the counseling; it is not like a few weeks or months is the same as 17 years. But if he doesn't change his attitude, he may as well end it now.

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He may be at this point. That was the conclusion I drew a few posts ago. But then he backed up some. Personally I say keep going with the counseling; it is not like a few weeks or months is the same as 17 years. But if he doesn't change his attitude, he may as well end it now.

My gut is saying this isn't going to be resolved adequately for either one of them, ever, much less in a few months. I don't know his financial status but some counselors love difficult cases cuz it means lining their pockets for a long time. They will never say this isn't going to work guys. You just won't hear it. Everything is workable in their mind, but not in reality. Not saying they are bad people, but you just have to know how those folks are trained and where their bread and butter comes from- especially if that's all they do--- kinda like lawyers. For some folks counseling works, but this one screams to me that this isn't going to be one of them. :thumbsdown:

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My gut is saying this isn't going to be resolved adequately for either one of them, ever, much less in a few months. I don't know his financial status but some counselors love difficult cases cuz it means lining their pockets for a long time. They will never say this isn't going to work guys. You just won't hear it. Everything is workable in their mind, but not in reality. Not saying they are bad people, but you just have to know how those folks are trained and where their bread and butter comes from- especially if that's all they do--- kinda like lawyers. For some folks counseling works, but this one screams to me that this isn't going to be one of them. :P

I don't have any experience with counseling, so I can't comment. Certainly seems plausible. I hope Dave is talking to people he trusts and not just taking advice from people on an internet bored though. Other than me of course, because I am always right.

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I don't have any experience with counseling, so I can't comment. Certainly seems plausible. I hope Dave is talking to people he trusts and not just taking advice from people on an internet bored though. Other than you of course, because you are always right.

 

:P

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:P

Sigh... you are proving that some women can be impossible to communicate with.

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Dave, if I knew that my husband had all of those feelings about me, I would just let it end. The counseling to me sounds like it's just killing time.

 

GL.

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If it was once in a while it would be one thing, but over time it just seems as if it gets to be more and more. I don't think it's an outrageous expectation that as someone gets older and more mature that they'd become more comfortable and confident with themselves. That doesn't seem to be happening.

 

I mean, if she needs her own personal cheering section to gather up the guts to snowboard down a trail she doens't think she can handle...I'm all there. However, when she comes to me to proof-read some silly little something for work to see if it sounds good and makes sense (it happens ALOT)...when she is an educational consultant who specializes in READING AND WRITING...well, it gets a little old. I mean, that's supposed to be her focking specialty. Schools pay her tens of thousands of dollars/year to come into their classrooms and teach reading and writing.

 

As for why I'm still around...well...one of the things that I am hoping to get from counseling is to figure out whether or not we should stay together.

 

Dude, she's just using someone she should trust as a sounding board. Maybe you're just not there for her. The people that don't bounce things off others are the ones I worry about.

 

My wife is adopted. Possibly even related to your wife. <_< I know the problems you speak of. I can tell you from expeience that it is possible for both you and her to change and not feel like death is in the air anytime the two of you guys are in the same room together. For years we were just passing time. Things are very different now. My wife is a much more confident person, a lot of fun to be around now and even becomming a very supportive person. Even if you're as much of a dickhead as your posts make you seem to be, she knows who you are and married you anyway. I'm not sure if the counseling will help any but your wife needs to decide what she wants and you need to be less abusive towards her.

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Give your wife my email. I' ll keep her happy and out of your hair :shocking:

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It does sound like you don't like her anymore. Not sure about hate. Dude, then just move on. Why waste money and time on this?? This I don't get. You need for her to change quite a bit before you may like her again, much less love her. How many years do you want to give it a go before you see it isn't gonna happen? There's only so much a person will change if that person feels that's what he/she wants to do for HIM/HERSELF, not for the other person or the marriage- and I don't see this happening with either one of you, seriously. I think the wall has gone up so high now that I'm not sure you guys can break it down ok. You need to sit down and seriously think about how long you want to give it a shot.

davebg 1

 

CurlyNight 0

 

:Mr-T:

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so how did it play out?

Well...it's almost four years later, we're still married and have a wonderful kid.

 

So, I guess Curly didn't know WTF he/she was talking about.

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Well...it's almost four years later, we're still married and have a wonderful kid.

 

So, I guess Curly didn't know WTF he/she was talking about.

Awesome, glad to hear it dude. :shocking:

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Well...it's almost four years later, we're still married and have a wonderful kid.

 

So, I guess Curly didn't know WTF he/she was talking about.

so, is it a good marriage? or still married because you have a kid? you said you have a wonderful kid, but you didn't say you have a wonderful marriage.

also, does she finally wear sexy stuff for you?

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Mrs. DaveBG was NONE too pleased.

 

Our homework from last week was to have a nice date nite on Sat...dinner, drinks, sex.

 

We did and it was OK...a little awkward at times, but OK.

 

So, this week the doc wanted to do some communication exercise where we're supposed to phrase things like an invitation and the other person responds in a polite manner.

 

He asks one of us to start. Mrs. daveBG had nothing, so I gave it a whirl.

 

I asked/called her out on why she couldn't have dressed all sexy for date nite. First, I started w/the lingere.

 

Mrs. DaveBG: I was wearing nice underwear.

 

DaveBG: Looked like the same beige padded bra you always wear & some new blue panties. May have been nice, but certainly not sexy.

 

Then I got into her not wearing a sexy outfit.

 

Mrs. DaveBG: I wore something nice.

 

DaveBG: I didn't say you didn't wear something nice...I said you didn't wear something sexy.

 

Mrs. DaveBG: What sexy outfit?

 

DaveBG: EXACTLY!!! You don't have/wear any!

 

Mrs. DaveBG: Why should I dress sexy?

 

DaveBG: BECAUSE YOU ARE A WOMAN AND I AM A MAN!!! If you were single in the city and going out on a hot date w/a guy you liked you'd do it, right?

 

Mrs. DaveBG: <makes a face>

 

DaveBG: You are a prude.

 

Doc: I really don't think DaveBG is making an unreasonable request.

 

DaveBG: Yeah, it's not like I asked you to break out the 6 inch stilettos and gimp mask.

 

Doc: Yeah, that's for next time...jk :lol:

 

Mrs. DaveBG: Why should I do it...you are so mean to me.

 

Doc: Sorry, you can't answer his invitation w/a condition...that's not how this exercise works.

 

DaveBG: :lol:

 

Mrs. DaveBG: Why is it always about what I do wrong...things DaveBG doesn't like?

 

DaveBG: You had an opportunity to bring up something that you don't like about me for this exercise, but you didn't want to, so I took the lead and we're talking about what I want to talk about. You had your chance.

 

Doc: He's right. :clap:

 

:thumbsup:

 

 

;)

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What most men want in the world from women

 

We want women who take it in the rear, watch porn, will perform MFF sex and not ask for MMF sex, do it 5 times per week with sexy outfits and use toys....let us videotape them, let us watch them masturbate (to us only) not ###### like their mothers, stay fit (because after all we want to be able to look at them) and much much more...

 

Ill clue you in....if you can get 1-3 of these above things count yourself fortunate and if you dont get any of these things then your in the vast majority.

 

0-fer-those reasons is a big factor in why I got divorced.

 

Clean sweep of those reasons is why I'm the happiest remarried boy in the whole wide world! :rolleyes:

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On 3/30/2006 at 3:22 PM, SUXBNME said:

 

 

That's it...I'm going out the garage and play with sharp things :dunno:

 

 

TheNewGirl never came over last night :huh: I wonder why?

This thread...lol

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11 minutes ago, SUXBNME said:

This thread...lol

🤣. Was I supposed to come over that night? Damn, 3/30/2006...I had a fücking newborn. She’s 15 now. 

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Read the first page. 3 divorced guys chiming in with their advice. Lol. One of them was Rusty! 

  • Haha 1

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49 minutes ago, TheNewGirl said:

🤣. Was I supposed to come over that night? Damn, 3/30/2006...I had a fücking newborn. She’s 15 now. 

Christ we’re all old now 😢

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I bet Davebg is still a douche though. I always thought he was back then. 
 

 

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5 minutes ago, TheNewGirl said:

I bet Davebg is still a douche though. I always thought he was back then. 
 

 

Davebag 😂 

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Here’s a tip:

Buy your wife something sexy to wear.

 

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8 hours ago, Hardcore troubadour said:

Read the first page. 3 divorced guys chiming in with their advice. Lol. One of them was Rusty! 

rustys posts are interesting.  even in 2006, you can tell he treats people like objects.

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6 hours ago, peenie said:

Here’s a tip:

Buy your wife something sexy to wear.

 

Sure.  Where were you with that advice 15 years ago??

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On 4/9/2021 at 7:57 PM, TheNewGirl said:

🤣. Was I supposed to come over that night? Damn, 3/30/2006...I had a fücking newborn. She’s 15 now. 

Can size? :mad:

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