Did any of you get married because ...

[Chasers Dawg 9]

Your Dad told you to do right by her. It's been 25 years, all the kids are grown up and moved out, but I still feel like I have to maintain a family for their sake. The kids haven't started their familys yet, but I feel the need to keep setting an example

[Eagles Green 34]

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I got nothing

[Chasers Dawg 9]

Ya, I know. Take it to the Curly Board. But how long should someone keep tryin' ?? for the sake of honour/family ??

[SUXBNME 1,352]

Ya, I know. Take it to the Curly Board. But how long should someone keep tryin' ?? for the sake of honour/family ??

 

If you still love her, keep trying.

If not, ...Awww...WTF do I know..I'm a life batchlor

 

 

carry on

[Badmojo1006 0]

You have been together for 25years? Why now?

[Chasers Dawg 9]

 

If you still love her, keep trying.

 

 

 

That's it though. Wasn't "Love", Dad said and then I made a promise before God 'til death do us part. Done 25 years worth and now it's down to 2 things.

 

1 - Grandkids being able to spend an X-Mas at grampa and grammas house or one or the other

 

2 - Listening to the raggin' and naggin' 'til the day I brush my teeth with a 12 guage

 

 

 

Wow, Those are the same option, Is there any way to make a "Split-Tail" bearable over the long haul ??

[football_scooter 0]

Ya, I know. Take it to the Curly Board. But how long should someone keep tryin' ?? for the sake of honour/family ??

 

have you tried to spice things up with a little anal?

 

 

also, can size?

[Chasers Dawg 9]

also, can size?

 

Very Large, but after 35 that is not a good thing

[PackerAttacker 0]

That's it though. Wasn't "Love", Dad said and then I made a promise before God 'til death do us part. Done 25 years worth and now it's down to 2 things.

 

1 - Grandkids being able to spend an X-Mas at grampa and grammas house or one or the other

 

2 - Listening to the raggin' and naggin' 'til the day I brush my teeth with a 12 guage

 

 

 

Wow, Those are the same option, Is there any way to make a "Split-Tail" bearable over the long haul ??

 

If its gotten that bad why not just have a serious talk with her. Tell her how she makes you feel with the constant naggin'. Tell her you will try harder too.... dont just throw it away. Sounds like you two had a good thing going. Being able to spend your golden years with someone has got to be better than living them alone.

[hoytdwow 202]

CDIAFP

[peenie 1,701]

i just want to congratulate you on doing the right thing.

you stood by your wife and your children all these years for the good of the family.

god only knows i wish i had more examples of that in my own life, sadly i have none.

if you are unhappy, i would suggest couples counseling or simply getting some therapy for yourself.

you really should go to the curly bored for this type of question, we are much more supportive.

here we are!

[Big Blue 06 195]

I read all this and I'm still not sure why you even married her, let alone stayed with her for 25 years.

 

WTF? If she annoys you that much, tell her so. She needs to know how you feel rather than just telling a bunch of guys on the internet.

[itsjjw 0]

Marriage is a commitment make it work.

[Patriotsfatboy1 1,432]

How much money do you have?

 

[RLLD 3,539]

Marriage is all about the woman, make it work.

 

[itsjjw 0]

Marriage is all about the woman, make it work.

Wrong. Its all about the children.

[TimmySmith 2,782]

I would start with taking time apart from your wife. Your kids are going to think you are crazy, but you put in your time.

[tony hardware 0]

I read all this and I'm still not sure why you even married her, let alone stayed with her for 25 years.

 

WTF? If she annoys you that much, tell her so. She needs to know how you feel rather than just telling a bunch of guys on the internet.

 

One would think, but how realistic is this? Women refuse to accept that they're not perfect. It sounds like he never loved her in the first place. How does she feel about you? It sounds like you got her pregnant and got married, maybe you too can sit down and truly discuss that your marriage has served its purpose, it's time to be friends and start living a little more independently. If you have sex once/year and its only when you're drunk, theres a good chance you've lost your passion for each other. Maybe she feels the same way? There's only one way to find out and that's broaching the subject. The worst that can happen? She kills you, the best? She knows how you feel.

[resser2 0]

You have been together for 25years? Why now?

 

he finally got the prescription for the "little blue pill" after 24 years of impotency?

j/k

 

 

i just want to congratulate you on doing the right thing.

you stood by your wife and your children all these years for the good of the family.

 

 

I disagree on what you concider the right thing. the "right thing" maybe different depending on the situation.

 

 

Let me ask you this, Which is a better environment for childeren to group up in

 

Assuming this wasn't a very happy home....

 

a) Parents married to each other but not in love with each other?

(Most likely fighting/name calling/expressing resentment towards each other, which the kids learn their behavior from but are staying together?

 

or

B ) Parents that get a divorce after deciding to try to work it out.

(most likely each of the parents will remarry and end up providing 2 happy house holds for the kids to grow up in and learn the correct behavior.

 

 

 

 

Let me go one step further.... How would you like it if you were the child(ren) involed?

 

would you want to have your parents together but at each others' throats all the time or have your parents divorce and be happy with someone else and you have to split your time with them?

 

 

 

Imagine marrying the child of parents that did the "right thing" how focked up in the head would they be.

 

I say if you aren't happy, and you have made a legitamite effort to work it out (therapy/counciling) .... then it is time to get out.

 

IMO

[itsjjw 0]

he finally got the prescription for the "little blue pill" after 24 years of impotency?

j/k

I disagree on what you concider the right thing. the "right thing" maybe different depending on the situation.

Let me ask you this, Which is a better environment for childeren to group up in

 

Assuming this wasn't a very happy home....

 

a) Parents married to each other but not in love with each other?

(Most likely fighting/name calling/expressing resentment towards each other, which the kids learn their behavior from but are staying together?

 

or

B ) Parents that get a divorce after deciding to try to work it out.

(most likely each of the parents will remarry and end up providing 2 happy house holds for the kids to grow up in and learn the correct behavior.

Let me go one step further.... How would you like it if you were the child(ren) involed?

 

would you want to have your parents together but at each others' throats all the time or have your parents divorce and be happy with someone else and you have to split your time with them?

Imagine marrying the child of parents that did the "right thing" how focked up in the head would they be.

 

I say if you aren't happy, and you have made a legitamite effort to work it out (therapy/counciling) .... then it is time to get out.

 

IMO

I hope quitters like you end up paying child support for the rest of your frigging life.

[RLLD 3,539]

Wrong. Its all about ME, and my own needs.

 

[Rusty Syringes 478]

Wrong. Its all about the children.

 

 

Wrong. It's all about money and sex.

[tony hardware 0]

Lets just face it, since the Feminist movement, marriage does not work in today's society because women are no longer suppressed members of society.

[stop talking cheerleader 0]

You have a lot of honor for not taking the easy road and trying to work it out for 25 years for the kids sake. That alone shows that you haven't thought about this lightly. Life's too short to go through it unhappy and un-satisfied with your life, relationship or both. If counseling doesn't work and you really aren't in love I think you two need a heart to heart and see what needs to happen from here. Most likely she already senses it and knows everything isn't passionate and a-ok anymore. Changes need to be made so you both are happy, rather thats together or apart its for the best.....for you and your family. They may not understand it now, but in time they will. Hope I could help, I'm not married but am from a divorced family.

[Patriotsfatboy1 1,432]

A couple of thoughts on this one:

1. This is what we call a mid-life crisis. Get a new sportscar and bang a college girl.

 

2. I disagree with many folks here. Never stay together for your kids. My parents are divorced and it was the best thing for all involved. You are far better off having parents who have an amicable divorce than spending 25 years pretending (probably badly) that you have a good relationship. Kids model their parents. If you are miserable and spend all of your time bickering with your wife, your resentment will shine through. That is not setting a good example.

 

I would suggest you discuss this with the wife. After 25 years together, you owe it to each other to determine what will make you each happy. If you are miserable, chances are she is too. Discussing it on a bored like this is probably not going to get it done, so have a nice sit down and have a frank discussion.

[DaWeffa 0]

Marriage is a job I have to fire you.

 

 

Wrong. Its all about the bling.

 

 

I hope quitters like you end up paying allamony for the rest of your frigging life.

 

you are sick sick sick!!!!

[RLLD 3,539]

you are sick sick sick!!!!

 

You owe me a new keyboard focker!!!!!!

[bostonlager 2,497]

Had my last relationship not ended I am certain I would be entering this problem myelf. A big reason why we were together was because of the relationship I had with her family and her relationship with my family.

[Jeremy 0]

I think it's very admirable of you to stay together for the sake of the family. I don't know if it's better for the kids for the parents stay together and spare them the trauma of a divorce or not. I've heard there's disagreement among child developement experts regarding that. Some will say stay the course for the sake of the kids and even a loveless marriage is better than divorce. Some will say just the opposite. I'm not qualified to offer an opinion either way. But it's clear you made a selfless decision, so props for that.

 

But I'll agree with the others here that you should talk this over with your wife. I'm a big proponent of "'till death do us part" and feel most give up too easily, but if you didn't love her when you got married and none developed after 25 years, I certainly wouldn't judge you a bad person if you called quits at this point. It doesn't sound like you ever really had a marriage to start with.

[The Total Package 0]

Lets just face it, since the Feminist movement, marriage does not work in today's society because women are no longer suppressed members of society.

 

www.nomarriage.com

[tony hardware 0]

www.nomarriage.com

 

No, I'm not going to buy your book.

 

(though I agree with the part about taking your lumps without complaint like men do - a women scorned is a complainer eternal).

[jerryskids 5,340]

Seems to me that you know in your heart you should leave, but you fear the unknown. Your life is comfortable, and you probably can't point to a single specific thing that you hate about her, but... it just isn't there.

 

I'm guessing also that you had the kids young, so you are prolly in your mid 40's, so there is plenty of life ahead.

 

I like the idea of some time apart.

 

GL

[stop talking cheerleader 0]

Talk to your wife, your in this together even if the outcome means being apart

[Toro 1]

Nagging?

 

What does she nag you about?

[Fervid Ro 0]

Talk to your wife, your in this together even if the outcome means being apart

maybe she'd be relieved and in such case you'd be off the hook.

[Brown Eyed Girl 1]

Now that your children are grown you have completed and accomplished one phase of your life and are now faced with this next wonderful phase which should be 'you and your wife's time together'.

 

Determine first just what YOU want the rest of your life to include. What things do you want to do and experience, how do you want to feel about the person who shares all of this with you - and how do you want that person to feel about you? Then ask yourself if she's that person? Does she even want the same things out of life and for her future that you do? Think about that for awhile and determine if you will be happy with this woman by your side sharing the rest of your lives together. Your happiness and fulfillment in your life is absolutely important and you should not negotiate it just because you think you should 'do the right thing for everyone else.' You've already done that... sounds like you've done a good job of it too. Reward yourself now by sitting back and watching your children make their own lives with the values and tools you and your wife have instilled in them. But don't forget about one very important person in this equation: YOU!

 

You have a huge portion of life ahead of you, but it goes by so fleeting! Don't waste a second of it, because it sure won't come around again. And life is too wonderful to not be able to share with someone you absolutely love and who loves you back.

 

Good luck to you.

[Chiefs04 0]

And life is too wonderful to not be able to share with someone you absolutely love and who loves you back.

 

 

 

 

And its to short to be with someone you don't like or for the wrong reasons. If you don't want to be there.... then leave. Don't waste time being miserable.

[TheNewGirl 1,057]

A couple of thoughts on this one:

1. This is what we call a mid-life crisis. Get a new sportscar and bang a college girl.

 

2. I disagree with many folks here. Never stay together for your kids. My parents are divorced and it was the best thing for all involved. You are far better off having parents who have an amicable divorce than spending 25 years pretending (probably badly) that you have a good relationship. Kids model their parents. If you are miserable and spend all of your time bickering with your wife, your resentment will shine through. That is not setting a good example.

 

I would suggest you discuss this with the wife. After 25 years together, you owe it to each other to determine what will make you each happy. If you are miserable, chances are she is too. Discussing it on a bored like this is probably not going to get it done, so have a nice sit down and have a frank discussion.

 

I completely agree.

 

My husband and I have talked and both of us agree that we would NOT stay together for the kids. Showing them to live in an unhappy home, not liking your spouse isn't a good example, and likely one that they will imitate, or think is "right" when they get older.

 

It's been 25 years. 25!!! Something other than the kids has kept you there for that long, IMO. That's a LONG time to just "stick it out."

 

You need to talk to her, find out if she's miserable, too. ITA that you need to have a nice sit down and talk with her.

 

GL.

[Wildman 0]

I completely agree.

 

My husband and I have talked and both of us agree that we would NOT stay together for the kids. Showing them to live in an unhappy home, not liking your spouse isn't a good example, and likely one that they will imitate, or think is "right" when they get older.

 

It's been 25 years. 25!!! Something other than the kids has kept you there for that long, IMO. That's a LONG time to just "stick it out."

 

You need to talk to her, find out if she's miserable, too. ITA that you need to have a nice sit down and talk with her.

 

GL.

 

Absolutely. Don't teach the kids that marriage is a sham or ONLY a sacrifice. I think people that stay together, although very well-intentioned, are just shaming themselves into doing something that in most cases won't help the family in the long run. I know a guy that did this and I just don't understand his thinking. You're just teaching kids to live a lie or to perceive it as such.