Stuff they make me do in Medical School

[SUXBNME 1,595]

You live in earthquake central.

~40~times better then living in oil slicked, poverty stricken, vomit smelling, hurricane central.

[MedStudent 56]

You are training for an emergency. I'm suprised they didn't tell you this. You live in earthquake central. I imagine there are 10 to 15 emergency room doctors, on staff or call, maybe more. If there is a major earthquake, you'll be spending more than thirty six hours at a time treating. That's also why ER Doctors get paid big bucks coming out of school.

 

The fact that I live in an earthquake zone has nothing to do with working long hours. Interns and residents in columbus ohio work the same hours as the doctors in Los Angeles.

 

I have heard other arguments about how it is educational to be with a patient throughout their ordeal and if you have a shorter shift you will need to hand off the patient to the next intern or resident. Turning over a patient is also a source of medical errors. its an archaic system that is better now than it was 10 years ago but it is still not perfect.

[SUXBNME 1,595]

The fact that I live in an earthquake zone has nothing to do with working long hours. Interns and residents in columbus ohio work the same hours as the doctors in Los Angeles.

 

I have heard other arguments about how it is educational to be with a patient throughout their ordeal and if you have a shorter shift you will need to hand off the patient to the next intern or resident. Turning over a patient is also a source of medical errors. its an archaic system that is better now than it was 10 years ago but it is still not perfect.

Do you know what area of medicine that you want to specialize in yet?

Besides the obvious (proctology, urinology, polyorchid studies..etc)

[Voice_Of_Reason 0]

Teaching hospital, government hospital. All the same crap. we're screwed.

I had an emergency visit to a private hospital once and they found nothing after 8 hours. I then went to a teaching hospital the next day when the pain didn't go away and it took them 1 hour to find the problem and schedule surgery for the next day. I gotta say personal choice.....teaching hospital.

[MedStudent 56]

Do you know what area of medicine that you want to specialize in yet?

Besides the obvious (proctology, urinology, polyorchid studies..etc)

I think I want to be Cardiothoracic (heart and lungs) surgeon. But I am going through the rotations and still finding out what interests me. Getting into a surgeon residency is a bit harder than the other specialties, so I am keeping all options open.

 

I had my anesthesiology and urology rotationS so far. anesthesiology is too boring for me. It was an easy rotation but I didn't like it. Urology wasn't that bad but I don't see myself going that way either.

[gocolts 300]

Gotta agree. The most interesting threads are the personal stories. Keep it up Med. We want to hear about you having to finger an 80 year fagina to check for some lumps or something. It's absolutely something I know nothing about.

[tikigods 76]

I had an emergency visit to a private hospital once and they found nothing after 8 hours. I then went to a teaching hospital the next day when the pain didn't go away and it took them 1 hour to find the problem and schedule surgery for the next day. I gotta say personal choice.....teaching hospital.

 

Dartmouth Hitchcock Medical Center is a teaching hospital...I would go there before a regular medical hospital.

[MedStudent 56]

Gotta agree. The most interesting threads are the personal stories. Keep it up Med. We want to hear about you having to finger an 80 year fagina to check for some lumps or something. It's absolutely something I know nothing about.

 

Fingering the faginas is a coming attraction. It will be released in early October shortly after I sart my OB/GYN rotation. I have no desire to become an OB/GYN because I think Male Dr's who go into that field are a little weird and malpractice in that field is a killer but I am looking forward to that rotation. As a matter of fact, I lay awake at night and fantasize about that rotation.

[IGotWorms 4,063]

You always hearing about anesthesia going awry during operations and killing people. Is it really that hard or do anesthesiologists just suck?

[MedStudent 56]

You always hearing about anesthesia going awry during operations and killing people. Is it really that hard or do anesthesiologists just suck?

 

Its pretty easy stuff and the ones in the hospitals are pretty good. Any time someone dies from anesthesia its going to be big news with a big lawsuit. I mean someone goes in for something like hand surgery and dies and its going to make the news. If someone dies because of a fockup by a brain surgeon then its tougher to prove fault and the hospital can just say the dr did everything he could.

[BunnysBastatrds 2,598]

I think I want to be Cardiothoracic (heart and lungs) surgeon. But I am going through the rotations and still finding out what interests me. Getting into a surgeon residency is a bit harder than the other specialties, so I am keeping all options open.

 

I had my anesthesiology and urology rotationS so far. anesthesiology is too boring for me. It was an easy rotation but I didn't like it. Urology wasn't that bad but I don't see myself going that way either.

 

 

You and every other doctor wants to be a cardio. You have to be the best at it to make serious money or be considered the best early. That means you have to be dedicated and almost God-Like to be on or earn that posistion. Good luck. Here in New Orleans, when you go to the ER, they fill the ER with every problem from gerbals to dancing rabbits in their heads. Have a heart attack, you'll be seen quickly. That's where the money is today. Gun shot wound, yep, you are in the first rotation. Hospital makes zero money, but you learn a lot. Break an arm or step on a nail, wait for hours. West Jeff, East Jeff, Oschner, and Tulane need future doctors like you. Put your residency in a place like New Orleans and I will have 100% respect for you or any doctor. Want to make a difference, prove it. LSU/Tulane Medical is where the best surgeons came from regarding gun shots, fatties, and cancer. They are working their way back and a young DOC like you is where the action is.

 

You keep saying "easy". Rotations aren't meant to be easy. Being an M.D. is difficult. Just curious? What were you expecting? Vet school may be your obvious option next. Anesthesiology is the most rewarding field of medicine if you aren't willing to see yourself try harder. Boring? Maybe! Easy? Yes!?

 

Good luck! I mean that.

[MedStudent 56]

You and every other doctor wants to be a cardio. You have to be the best at it to make serious money or be considered the best early. That means you have to be dedicated and almost God-Like to be on or earn that posistion. Good luck. Here in New Orleans, when you go to the ER, they fill the ER with every problem from gerbals to dancing rabbits in their heads. Have a heart attack, you'll be seen quickly. That's where the money is today. Gun shot wound, yep, you are in the first rotation. Hospital makes zero money, but you learn a lot. Break an arm or step on a nail, wait for hours. West Jeff, East Jeff, Oschner, and Tulane need future doctors like you. Put your residency in a place like New Orleans and I will have 100% respect for you or any doctor. Want to make a difference, prove it. LSU/Tulane Medical is where the best surgeons came from regarding gun shots, fatties, and cancer. They are working their way back and a young DOC like you is where the action is.

 

You keep saying "easy". Rotations aren't meant to be easy. Being an M.D. is difficult. Just curious? What were you expecting? Vet school may be your obvious option next. Anesthesiology is the most rewarding field of medicine if you aren't willing to see yourself try harder. Boring? Maybe! Easy? Yes!?

 

Good luck! I mean that.

I'm not looking for easy. I said I didn't want to be an Anesthesiologist because I found it boring.

 

As for where my residency ends up being, I just want to get into a good program. My preference is a major city in a big hospital that will provide many learning opportunities. If that's in louisiana then I would be ok with it.

Thanks for the good wishes.

[phillybear 366]

I'm not looking for easy. I said I didn't want to be an Anesthesiologist because I found it boring.

 

As for where my residency ends up being, I just want to get into a good program. My preference is a major city in a big hospital that will provide many learning opportunities. If that's in louisiana then I would be ok with it.

Thanks for the good wishes.

 

You will spend the rest of your life pinching 'roids in the folds of fat of obese people and pulling sh!t nuggets off your privileged, delicate fingers.

[drobeski 3,061]

I'm not looking for easy. I said I didn't want to be an Anesthesiologist because I found it boring.

 

As for where my residency ends up being, I just want to get into a good program. My preference is a major city in a big hospital that will provide many learning opportunities. If that's in louisiana then I would be ok with it.

Thanks for the good wishes.

Hurry up and start making money at it so you can become a conservative.

[MedStudent 56]

Just thought I would share a patient story from yesterday before I go to sleep.

 

4 year old leukemia patient. When we saw her, she was in the pediatric ICU, with at least four different tubes running in and out of her. She had just survived a crisis with the quick administration of blood pressure drugs, but an unfortunate side effect was that the persistent blood vessel constriction so severely decreased the blood flow to her extremities that her petite legs were darkened up to the knees, her hands darkened to the wrists.

 

After examining the extremities, the attending physician looked at us, then said rather bluntly, "It's all coming off." Auto-amputation. This child's legs, blackened by an acute case of severe lack of blood flow, were becoming necrotic. Her body would soon recognize this process and wall off the dead tissue over the course of the next few weeks, culminating in this poor child’s extremities literally falling off, without the aid of any knife, scalpel, or blunt object.

 

The poor child was sedated and looked so peaceful sleeping. I still can't get that image out of my head.

[gocolts 300]

Just thought I would share a patient story from yesterday before I go to sleep.

 

4 year old leukemia patient. When we saw her, she was in the pediatric ICU, with at least four different tubes running in and out of her. She had just survived a crisis with the quick administration of blood pressure drugs, but an unfortunate side effect was that the persistent blood vessel constriction so severely decreased the blood flow to her extremities that her petite legs were darkened up to the knees, her hands darkened to the wrists.

 

After examining the extremities, the attending physician looked at us, then said rather bluntly, "It's all coming off." Auto-amputation. This child's legs, blackened by an acute case of severe lack of blood flow, were becoming necrotic. Her body would soon recognize this process and wall off the dead tissue over the course of the next few weeks, culminating in this poor child’s extremities literally falling off, without the aid of any knife, scalpel, or blunt object.

 

The poor child was sedated and looked so peaceful sleeping. I still can't get that image out of my head.

That is freaking horrible, poor little girl. Glad I didn't see it.

[MedStudent 56]

Before I plunge into a glorious sleep known as the post-call nap, I thought I'd share an anecdote from what I saw last night taking trauma call. Now, one of my goals during my surgery rotation was to take a night call shift during a weekend night (i.e. Friday or Saturday) to see what kind of crazy stuff goes down at an urban trauma center. I imagined all sorts of chaos, including hordes of patients, cops following patients to the floor, and drunk patients assaulting anyone who might be in the way. It turns out, however, that things aren't really that exciting, and that 'er' is a rather grand overdramatization of the chaos that occurs in the ER at your average hopsital.

 

That said, if you are lucky, you still get to see things that a select few will ever get to witness, things that are so undescribeably awful that no words really do them justice, other than to say that it must really suck to be the guy that shows up the ER with that. Here is one from last night:

 

"Gunshot wound, right scrotum."

 

I'll let you digest that for a second.

 

 

Basically, there are no words to describe the sight of a man being wheeled into the ER, initially calm, on pain medications, and totally unaware of the ball-bleeding occuring under the sheets the EMTs placed over his wound, right at that moment when he is placed on the bed, the sheets are removed, and we all see the perforated scrotum and the bleeding that has ensued. Rather than wax philosophical on this now (frankly, I couldn't do this topic justice in my totally sleep-deprived anyways), I'll just say that, as a fellow ball-possessing individual, it was one of the more painful things I think I could ever witness. I regret that I could not follow what happened with him (he was admitted to another service), but I hope you all have learned a valuable lesson from this: Don't get shot in the nuts.

[tikigods 76]

Just thought I would share a patient story from yesterday before I go to sleep.

 

4 year old leukemia patient. When we saw her, she was in the pediatric ICU, with at least four different tubes running in and out of her. She had just survived a crisis with the quick administration of blood pressure drugs, but an unfortunate side effect was that the persistent blood vessel constriction so severely decreased the blood flow to her extremities that her petite legs were darkened up to the knees, her hands darkened to the wrists.

 

After examining the extremities, the attending physician looked at us, then said rather bluntly, "It's all coming off." Auto-amputation. This child's legs, blackened by an acute case of severe lack of blood flow, were becoming necrotic. Her body would soon recognize this process and wall off the dead tissue over the course of the next few weeks, culminating in this poor child’s extremities literally falling off, without the aid of any knife, scalpel, or blunt object.

 

The poor child was sedated and looked so peaceful sleeping. I still can't get that image out of my head.

 

 

This is why I don't believe in God.

[hdaddy 18]

Keep it coming Med! Good stuff!

[MedStudent 56]

During the process of pre-rounding and recording vitals for sixteen (yes, sixteen) of our team's patients yesterday morning (what, you have something better to do between 5 AM and 6:30 AM on a Sunday after having been up the whole night?), I found myself incredibly frustrated trying to decipher what the nurses had written in the chart over the course of the last 24 hours. 300 cc urine at 4AM, with the 3 crossed out, a 0 added in front, a 2.7 thrown in the middle, and a drop of espresso covering the remainder of the corrections. Unreadable abbreviations for things that make no sense, like BRP X F (I know the BRP is for "bathroom privileges", but that's about it) and JPDNC (not even going to try with that one). Of course, this is ignoring all of the times where there is absolutely nothing recorded for an entire shift (no BP, no pulse, no ins/outs...nada), leaving me with nothing to report when we round. This then leads to the chief checking the chart during rounds and often finding vitals recorded at "5:30AM", with a full set of vitals that has miraculously appeared during a time vortex somewhere between 5:30 and 7:00 AM that allowed the nurse to travel back through time, take the vitals, record them, and return just in time to watch me look like a total idiot in front of everyone.

 

Add to this the frustration of being screamed at by scrub nurses for the cursed sin of taking up space, being given attitude for going so far as to ask a nurse how a patient was doing, and being accused by one nurse of being a prank caller when I asked about one patient's antibiotics over the local phone system from a floor below ("How do I really know you are a medical student and not some prank caller?"), and it's pretty clear that my introduction to the doctor-nurse divide has not been that smooth.

 

All that being said, there are a couple of hot filipina nurses who I would love to get in a "menage a trois".

[The Elevator Killer 714]

(I know the BRP is for "bathroom privileges", but that's about it)

 

Privileges? Obamacare is worse then I thought.

 

[patweisers44 865]

Just thought I would share a patient story from yesterday before I go to sleep.

 

4 year old leukemia patient. When we saw her, she was in the pediatric ICU, with at least four different tubes running in and out of her. She had just survived a crisis with the quick administration of blood pressure drugs, but an unfortunate side effect was that the persistent blood vessel constriction so severely decreased the blood flow to her extremities that her petite legs were darkened up to the knees, her hands darkened to the wrists.

 

After examining the extremities, the attending physician looked at us, then said rather bluntly, "It's all coming off." Auto-amputation. This child's legs, blackened by an acute case of severe lack of blood flow, were becoming necrotic. Her body would soon recognize this process and wall off the dead tissue over the course of the next few weeks, culminating in this poor child’s extremities literally falling off, without the aid of any knife, scalpel, or blunt object.

 

The poor child was sedated and looked so peaceful sleeping. I still can't get that image out of my head.

Somewhere Phillybear has his pants around his ankles reading this post.

[Secret Asian Man 54]

 

All that being said, there are a couple of hot filipina nurses who I would love to get in a "menage a trois".

 

Gaylord Focker not from Philippines.

 

[Recliner Pilot 61]

(I know the BRP is for "bathroom privileges", but that's about it)

 

 

If that's about all you know about doctoring you should stick to ameteur nertz nuzzling.

[MedStudent 56]

So, I learned how to deal with patients trying to sponge off of medicaid late last night. This is the conversation between a grouchy doctor I was working with and a patient. Its pretty much word for word as I remembered it and certain sentences were unforgettable:

 

Dr. : Hi, I'm Dr.____. I'm the doctor in charge of the EMERGENCY Department tonight. I see that you came by AMBULANCE. What was so bad that you had to call 9-1-1 at 3 AM to be rushed to the EMERGENCY ROOM by AMBULANCE? What is your MEDICAL EMERGENCY? What is your LIFE OR LIMB THREATENING problem??

 

Patient (clueless to the Dr's sarcasm): Oh, I think I'm pregnant again.

 

Dr (more sarcasm that this clueless girl still didn't get): You must be in a lot of pain or bleeding severely to come in by ambulance, huh?

 

Patient: No. I just didn't have a ride.

 

Dr: So you're not having any pain or vaginal bleeding?

 

Patient: No, no pain. No bleeding.

 

Dr: Did you take a home pregnancy test?

 

Patient: I didn't have one.

 

Dr: You know they sell them at Walmart. They're open 24 hrs.

 

Patient: Well I couldn't go to Walmart in the middle of the night.

 

Dr: So you took an ambulance?

 

Patient: Yeah, but my insurance will pay for it.

 

Dr: Insurance? It says here that you've got Medicaid.

 

Patient: Yeah, that's my insurance.

 

Dr: No, dear. Medicaid is not insurance.

 

Patient: Yes it is! That's my insurance!

 

Dr: No, dear. Medicaid is not insurance. Medicaid is a government hand out! It's only called insurance if you're paying for it.

 

Patient: Well, what ever! Medicaid will pay for it.

 

Dr: Good grief! You didn't have to take a $400 ambulance to the hospital for a simple pregnancy test.

 

Patient: But I didn't have a ride.

 

Dr: You could have taken a cab. Surely you got $20 bucks for a cab. And those pregnancy tests are under $20 bucks at Walmart ya know. $400 bucks ambulance ride versus $20 bucks...You could have save us tax payers a lot of money, ya know.

 

Patient: My insurance will pay for the ambulance.

 

Dr: Good grief! How many times do I have to tell you that Medicaid is not insurance? And it won't pay for nonemergent problems.

 

A quick 5 seconds physical exam. Push on the belly, no pain. Doctor scribbled the discharge instructions and handed to patient to sign:

 

Go to local pharmacy and buy a home pregnancy test. Follow up with your medicaid assigned gynecologist if positive. If having pain or vaginal bleeding, return to ER.

 

Patient: So you're not gonna run a test to see if I'm pregnant?

 

Dr: No, a possible pregnancy is not a medical EMERGENCY.

 

Patient: But my insurance will pay for it.

 

Dr: Not if I don't order it. And even if I did order it, Medicaid...Oh never mind, just go to Walmart or any drug store and get yourself a home pregnancy test, alright. They're the same urine pregnancy test that we use in the hospital anyway, and it's much cheaper, too.

 

Patient: So how am I gonna get home now? I got 4 kids at home.

 

Dr: Well, you should have thought about that before you took an ambulance. Surely you didn't think that we would admit you to the hospital for a possible pregnancy, did you? Your kids are not at home by themselves are they?

 

Patient: You're a mean doctor!

 

Dr: No I'm not! If I was, I wouldn't have ask about your kids. They're not home alone by themselves are they?

 

Patient: No, they're with a friend of mine.

 

Dr: Alright. I'll see if the charge nurse can help you with a cab voucher home. There's also a cop here from your part of town. Maybe he can let you hitch a ride home in a while.

[DankNuggs 305]

Get used to it, Obamacare is coming, just imagine the entire country trying to be leaches like this, fighting for rationed care... Don't worry, we'll pay for it by limiting the amount of money you doctors can make. All will be well...

 

 

lol

[SUXBNME 1,595]

So, I learned how to deal with patients trying to sponge off of medicaid late last night. This is the conversation between a grouchy doctor I was working with and a patient. Its pretty much word for word as I remembered it and certain sentences were unforgettable:

 

Dr. : Hi, I'm Dr.____. I'm the doctor in charge of the EMERGENCY Department tonight. I see that you came by AMBULANCE. What was so bad that you had to call 9-1-1 at 3 AM to be rushed to the EMERGENCY ROOM by AMBULANCE? What is your MEDICAL EMERGENCY? What is your LIFE OR LIMB THREATENING problem??

 

Patient (clueless to the Dr's sarcasm): Oh, I think I'm pregnant again.

 

Dr (more sarcasm that this clueless girl still didn't get): You must be in a lot of pain or bleeding severely to come in by ambulance, huh?

 

Patient: No. I just didn't have a ride.

 

Dr: So you're not having any pain or vaginal bleeding?

 

Patient: No, no pain. No bleeding.

 

Dr: Did you take a home pregnancy test?

 

Patient: I didn't have one.

 

Dr: You know they sell them at Walmart. They're open 24 hrs.

 

Patient: Well I couldn't go to Walmart in the middle of the night.

 

Dr: So you took an ambulance?

 

Patient: Yeah, but my insurance will pay for it.

 

Dr: Insurance? It says here that you've got Medicaid.

 

Patient: Yeah, that's my insurance.

 

Dr: No, dear. Medicaid is not insurance.

 

Patient: Yes it is! That's my insurance!

 

Dr: No, dear. Medicaid is not insurance. Medicaid is a government hand out! It's only called insurance if you're paying for it.

 

Patient: Well, what ever! Medicaid will pay for it.

 

Dr: Good grief! You didn't have to take a $400 ambulance to the hospital for a simple pregnancy test.

 

Patient: But I didn't have a ride.

 

Dr: You could have taken a cab. Surely you got $20 bucks for a cab. And those pregnancy tests are under $20 bucks at Walmart ya know. $400 bucks ambulance ride versus $20 bucks...You could have save us tax payers a lot of money, ya know.

 

Patient: My insurance will pay for the ambulance.

 

Dr: Good grief! How many times do I have to tell you that Medicaid is not insurance? And it won't pay for nonemergent problems.

 

A quick 5 seconds physical exam. Push on the belly, no pain. Doctor scribbled the discharge instructions and handed to patient to sign:

 

Go to local pharmacy and buy a home pregnancy test. Follow up with your medicaid assigned gynecologist if positive. If having pain or vaginal bleeding, return to ER.

 

Patient: So you're not gonna run a test to see if I'm pregnant?

 

Dr: No, a possible pregnancy is not a medical EMERGENCY.

 

Patient: But my insurance will pay for it.

 

Dr: Not if I don't order it. And even if I did order it, Medicaid...Oh never mind, just go to Walmart or any drug store and get yourself a home pregnancy test, alright. They're the same urine pregnancy test that we use in the hospital anyway, and it's much cheaper, too.

 

Patient: So how am I gonna get home now? I got 4 kids at home.

 

Dr: Well, you should have thought about that before you took an ambulance. Surely you didn't think that we would admit you to the hospital for a possible pregnancy, did you? Your kids are not at home by themselves are they?

 

Patient: You're a mean doctor!

 

Dr: No I'm not! If I was, I wouldn't have ask about your kids. They're not home alone by themselves are they?

 

Patient: No, they're with a friend of mine.

 

Dr: Alright. I'll see if the charge nurse can help you with a cab voucher home. There's also a cop here from your part of town. Maybe he can let you hitch a ride home in a while.

WOW

 

Pretty sad of the mind set that some people have.

I applaud the Doctors way of handling the dumb kunt.

[MedStudent 56]

Quote of the night last night at the hospital:

 

Hysterical patient with a stuffy nose kept complaining that she couldn't breathe.

 

Nurse: "Ma'am, if you can talk, you can breathe...Ma'am, just calm down...Ma'am that hole in your mouth is bigger than the two holes in your nose! If you can talk, you can breathe!"

[Mookz 1,374]

So Charlie Brown became a doctor! Good for him!

[The Elevator Killer 714]

So Charlie Brown became a doctor! Good for him!

 

Borat Voice: "That's not good for me." :Borat Voice.

[IGotWorms 4,063]

Get used to it, Obamacare is coming, just imagine the entire country trying to be leaches like this, fighting for rationed care... Don't worry, we'll pay for it by limiting the amount of money you doctors can make. All will be well...

 

 

lol

 

Like Obama created the problem.