Flight horror stories

[Patriotsfatboy1 1,432]

I assume that everyone saw the video of the woman that falls asleep on the guy and he taped it.

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=081Sbebdv5k

 

What flying horror stories do you have?

 

Last year, I was taking the wife and sons to Orlando. I thought I was smart by having the 3 of them across the aisle from me as there was an empty seat in the middle with a person on the window. After getting settled, these 2 fat chicks are in the seats next to me. The one in the window had to be 300 pounds and the one in the middle at least 250. Well, window fatty spills into the middle seat and then middle fatty spills over into my seat.

 

Oh, and they stunk like they decided not to shower in the last month and would just bury it with cheap perfume. :puke: My wife still about it.

[MDC 5,988]

The time we pulled out onto the runway for a connecting flight in Charlotte headed to Indy. I fell asleep before takeoff and woke up figuring we'd just landed. Instead there were mechanical problems and the flight was cancelled after hours of just sitting there.

 

That and more than a few flying while hungover stories are all I got. I actually enjoy flying and I've had good luck with it.

[southcarolina 166]

One time i was flying on a plane and a whole bunch of snakes got loose.

 

 

True story.

[Sho Nuff 720]

Hungover for one flight out of Philly after my wife had an awards thing there. Open bar the night before and went out after...

 

Get on the plane feeling like crap...dude near us opens up a can of focking Tuna. (wife hates fish smell as it is...is preggo...and Im hungover).

Awful flight.

[cyclone24 1,836]

Flight out to Hawaii (4th one....sweet vacation name drop) and parents seated their kids across the aisle next to me. The parents of course get up once in flight and start talking with their frinds 10 rows back.

 

The kids of course start throwing chips at each other. Eventually one hits me. No hesitation....picked it up and threw it as hard as i can at the kids.

 

It stopped......

 

That flight as we came on approach for landing....i would say 500 feet above ground...pilot guns it and takes back off. He came on and said he "Got a reading from a rear flap they were looking into"...got pretty quiet. Landed pretty solid though.

[BunnysBastatrds 1,958]

They didn't serve alcohol due to a one hour flight that was expecting tuberlance for the majority of it.

[The Moz 69]

in 2007 I flew from Chicago to Honk Kong with a 4 year old Boy and a 6 month year old girl -- by myself. An some seriously bitchy people around me (due to the fact they just wanted to go to sleep)-- If that don't beat anything other than outright crash I don't know what will.

[MTSkiBum 1,605]

I had a 12 hour flight recently to Qatar with a 10 year old boy behind me that kicked my seat randomly throughout the flight.

 

Also fairly recently I had a 10 hour flight from Malaysia to Amsterdam with a fat guy sitting beside me that took up 1/4 of my seat. This was followed by a 5 hour layover, and on the next leg of my journey I was surrounded by 30 middle schoolers that were coming back to the US from a school trip from Europe.

 

I narrowly avoided a terrible flight as well. A couple weeks ago I was taking the redeye from Bogota, Columbia to Houston. The flight was delayed by an hour and the entire time we were on the tarmac a crying baby was sitting the seat behind me. However as soon as we took off the baby fell asleep and so did I.

[The Moz 69]

I had a 12 hour flight recently to Qatar with a 10 year old boy behind me that kicked my seat randomly throughout the flight.

 

Also fairly recently I had a 10 hour flight from Malaysia to Amsterdam with a fat guy sitting beside me that took up 1/4 of my seat. This was followed by a 5 hour layover, and on the next leg of my journey I was surrounded by 30 middle schoolers that were coming back to the US from a school trip from Europe.

 

I narrowly avoided a terrible flight as well. A couple weeks ago I was taking the redeye from Bogota, Columbia to Houston. The flight was delayed by an hour and the entire time we were on the tarmac a crying baby was sitting the seat behind me. However as soon as we took off the baby fell asleep and so did I.

that was tough but try doing what I did and I guarantee you it wasn't that tough

[Mile High Drunk 13]

I was taking a nap and woke up to the smell of a woman changing her babies shitfilled diaper in her nap followed by 30 minutes of a tantrum by a 4 year of the same mother. Terrible flight.

[SUXBNME 1,363]

One time i was flying on a plane and a whole bunch of snakes got loose.

 

 

True story.

Beat me to it, poobreath.

By only 10 hours or so

[smashmouths@blf 33]

These stories above are far worse than mine, but I swear to god every time I get on a plane I end up sitting next to some lonely soul that would love to chat for the next 4 hours. Seriously, shut the fock up!!! Maybe I just need to be an A hole and tell them to stfu, I don't give a crap why you are flying to Pittsburgh and who you are seeing. I don't care to hear about your family history and that you get hiccups from eating carrots. That is all.

[penultimatestraw 473]

that was tough but try doing what I did and I guarantee you it wasn't that tough

Yeah, but your sh!tty flight was self-inflicted. At least you were thoughtful enough to share your children with the rest of the plane.

 

Hopefully there weren't any African Americans on your flight.

[penultimatestraw 473]

I had a 12 hour flight recently to Qatar with a 10 year old boy behind me that kicked my seat randomly throughout the flight.

 

Also fairly recently I had a 10 hour flight from Malaysia to Amsterdam with a fat guy sitting beside me that took up 1/4 of my seat. This was followed by a 5 hour layover, and on the next leg of my journey I was surrounded by 30 middle schoolers that were coming back to the US from a school trip from Europe.

 

I narrowly avoided a terrible flight as well. A couple weeks ago I was taking the redeye from Bogota, Columbia to Houston. The flight was delayed by an hour and the entire time we were on the tarmac a crying baby was sitting the seat behind me. However as soon as we took off the baby fell asleep and so did I.

I was on a nine hour overnight flight that had just reached cruising altitude. Even though I rarely can get comfortable enough on a plane, I reclined my chair in preparation for a chance at sleeping. About 45 minutes later I felt a couple taps on my chair, which repeated 30 seconds later. I figured it was an accident or the person behind me was trying to get out of their seat and brushed the back of mine.

 

A few seconds after the second tap, my seatback was shaking violently. I turned around to find an elderly women yelling at me in a foreign language, I think Cantonese. Well I don't speak Cantonese, but I tried to ask the woman what her problem was in slow deliberate English. She didn't let up, yelling or shaking. My wife had sense enough to summon the flight attendant.

 

She arrived to witness the other passenger's nutty behavior. We looked at her seatmate, presumably her husband, who also didn't speak English and did nothing to stop his wife. The attendant wagged her finger at the lady and forcibly removed her hands from my chair, but she went right back at it. Eventually I conceded and sat upright for the remainder of the flight.

 

The flight attendant explained that there was nothing she could do, that this was "their culture". She went on to explain that "these people" will spit in the aisles, throw their trash, and behave unruly; a cultural awareness portion of her training detailed that this is just the way it is.

 

On another flight, I was seated in the center aisle at the right side of a three seat row. The guy on the left side was an elderly gentleman with a military hat. The center seat guy arrived right before the flight took off. While he was normal enough, the old guy started having these violent gyrations of his right arm and leg about every 15 minutes once we were in flight. He would shake the entire row of seats, and I'm sure he hit the dude in the center seat. It was obvious he had something neurologically wrong with him, I think a condition called hemiballismus.

 

The kicker is his wife was seated across the aisle from him, surely knowing it was impossible to tolerate a flight seated right next to him. Unfortunately for the center seat guy, the flight was to Hawaii on Veteran's Day, so he sucked it up for a 6 hour trip.

[Blitzen 0]

I was on a nine hour overnight flight that had just reached cruising altitude. Even though I rarely can get comfortable enough on a plane, I reclined my chair in preparation for a chance at sleeping. About 45 minutes later I felt a couple taps on my chair, which repeated 30 seconds later. I figured it was an accident or the person behind me was trying to get out of their seat and brushed the back of mine.

 

A few seconds after the second tap, my seatback was shaking violently. I turned around to find an elderly women yelling at me in a foreign language, I think Cantonese. Well I don't speak Cantonese, but I tried to ask the woman what her problem was in slow deliberate English. She didn't let up, yelling or shaking. My wife had sense enough to summon the flight attendant.

 

She arrived to witness the other passenger's nutty behavior. We looked at her seatmate, presumably her husband, who also didn't speak English and did nothing to stop his wife. The attendant wagged her finger at the lady and forcibly removed her hands from my chair, but she went right back at it. Eventually I conceded and sat upright for the remainder of the flight.

 

The flight attendant explained that there was nothing she could do, that this was "their culture". She went on to explain that "these people" will spit in the aisles, throw their trash, and behave unruly; a cultural awareness portion of her training detailed that this is just the way it is.

 

On another flight, I was seated in the center aisle at the right side of a three seat row. The guy on the left side was an elderly gentleman with a military hat. The center seat guy arrived right before the flight took off. While he was normal enough, the old guy started having these violent gyrations of his right arm and leg about every 15 minutes once we were in flight. He would shake the entire row of seats, and I'm sure he hit the dude in the center seat. It was obvious he had something neurologically wrong with him, I think a condition called hemiballismus.

 

The kicker is his wife was seated across the aisle from him, surely knowing it was impossible to tolerate a flight seated right next to him. Unfortunately for the center seat guy, the flight was to Hawaii on Veteran's Day, so he sucked it up for a 6 hour trip.

 

Should have just punched the old hag out and then told the attendants that it was a cultural thing for you. Then spit in the aisle.

[titans&bucs&bearsohmy! 2,745]

I once had a six hour layover in Memphis... on the final day of the COGIC convention (church of God in Christ, a huge black denomination). Picture a few thousand black church ladies in hats.

 

Fortunately, they gave me about a hundred bucks in airport bucks, so I just got hammered.

[The Moz 69]

 

 

Hopefully there weren't any African Americans on your flight.

No..... but damn if their wern't a lot of slant eyes though

 

You try a 14 hour flight with a 6month old baby and a 4 year old (especially after the 4 hour mark when his DS battery went dead). A crying baby that won't sleep , a 4 year old kid that asks you how much longer or says I'm bored every 10 minutes , 50 irate passengers cursing you out in many creative different ways (al be it in Cantonese). By the 10 hour mark I started thinking a crash would be mercy.

[nzoner 936]

Flight to Jamaica sitting next to a mother holding her crying kid and the she let's him hold a cup of soda thinking it'll help shut him up and the little sh!t proceeds to spill it on me.

[DankNuggs 305]

10 minute puddle jumper flight going inbetween caribbean islands. We flew into the front edge of what was to become a tropical storm. Unstable. violent drops, it was very scary. I got off the plane sweating horribly and shaking.

 

My last flight was to charlotte for bizniz and i had an awful headcold. I was defintiely that guy sneezing and blowing his nose every 5 minutes, couldn't help it. So my head is like mush, my ears all popped and messed up and i can't smell anything. Lady next to me is super old, has a cane, and for some insane reason I can smell old person on her like she was doused in it. Was all i could smell. Made no sense at all unless she was violently smelly.

 

Worst part was that due to her cane, she didn't get up in queue when it was her turn, so i was stuck beside her in the middle of the plane until the entire place cleared out. This was after an 19 hour day of flights and work and a delay for the return trip. Woke up at 4 that morning and didn't land until 11pm. Just wanted to go home so bad I wanted to fling myself over the seat in front of me.

[penultimatestraw 473]

No..... but damn if their wern't a lot of slant eyes though

 

You try a 14 hour flight with a 6month old baby and a 4 year old (especially after the 4 hour mark when his DS battery went dead). A crying baby that won't sleep , a 4 year old kid that asks you how much longer or says I'm bored every 10 minutes , 50 irate passengers cursing you out in many creative different ways (al be it in Cantonese). By the 10 hour mark I started thinking a crash would be mercy.

I'm sure it was miserable, but once again it was self-inflicted. Ask the 50 irate Chinese.

[The Moz 69]

I'm sure it was miserable, but once again it was self-inflicted. Ask the 50 irate Chinese.

Self inflicted - the wife got sick 24 hours before with a bad case of food poisoning and I had to go by myself with the kids - she met us a few days later. Not only did I suffer through maybe the most painful 14 hours of my life - I was stuck in a foriegn country with my in laws and my wife's family. To top it all off I thought at the very least the "CHINESE" FOOD WOULD BE GREAT -- NO "American" Chinese food is good - in China or at least Honk Kong it's fockign barely edible. Worst trip ever!

[penultimatestraw 473]

Self inflicted - the wife got sick 24 hours before with a bad case of food poisoning and I had to go by myself with the kids - she met us a few days later. Not only did I suffer through maybe the most painful 14 hours of my life - I was stuck in a foriegn country with my in laws and my wife's family. To top it all off I thought at the very least the "CHINESE" FOOD WOULD BE GREAT -- NO "American" Chinese food is good - in China or at least Honk Kong it's fockign barely edible. Worst trip ever!

You shouldn't have been flying with kids that young in the first place. Pay a nanny or don't take the trip.

 

Even with your wife the decision was selfish - not only due to the irritation you created for your fellow passengers, but also the discomfort you likely caused your newborn.

[shotsup 832]

Self inflicted - the wife got sick 24 hours before with a bad case of food poisoning and I had to go by myself with the kids - she met us a few days later. Not only did I suffer through maybe the most painful 14 hours of my life - I was stuck in a foriegn country with my in laws and my wife's family. To top it all off I thought at the very least the "CHINESE" FOOD WOULD BE GREAT -- NO "American" Chinese food is good - in China or at least Honk Kong it's fockign barely edible. Worst trip ever!

So are u saying the resident board racist is actually married to a chink ??

 

Irony.

 

[Giants Fan 85]

I remember when you could smoke on airplanes ... and easily drink underage. Poor people took the bus, or drove because gas was 65 cents a gallon and full of lead. I used to like flying ... have a nice meal, watch a movie ... now it's a cattle call. I've told many horror stories here. This is the one with the most humor though. About 2003.

 

So, I somehow never got to designate my seat. Was coming home for the holidays, didn't want to but a ticket was purchased for me, flying from NY to AZ on some cheap ass airline. Flight was full, and I got designated the worst seat on the plane. Aisle seat, last row, next to the bathrooms.

 

Right off the bat, the guy in front of me reclines his seat. My seat does not recline, because there is a metal wall behind me. That seat did however have the buttons ... just didn't work. I literally could touch my thumb to my nose, and my pinky to the seatback in front of me. What am I gonna do? Freak out like some psycho? No, I'm gonna sit and deal with it. Then the plane got in the air. A bunch of people came back to use the bathroom. There was a line. So, one person would go in, and then as they'd leave, they would have to squeeze past the line to get back to their seat. So, I am 6 foot 1, 200 plus, I have broad shoulders. Each time, the person who just left the bathroom would have to rub their ass or their crotch on my shoulder as they left the bathroom. I started to freak out. I called a stewardess.

 

"You have to move me. This is insane. I have no room. You need to put a child in this seat." and she was all, "I believe the plane is full." and I begged her, "Please, can you check?" and there was an open middle seat a couple rows up. I moved up there and of course the guys there were all, "Pffft" angry they had to move their coats.

 

I might have some kinda phobia ... whatever it is, people you don't know, walking up from behind you and rubbing their ass on your shoulder right after going to the bathroom ... obia. Kinda bothers me. Call me weird.

 

Since that flight, I always make sure to get an aisle seat as close to the front as possible. I'm the guy who knows exactly where his carry on is, and can't friggin wait to get off the plane and have a cig. I do not focking waste time. When I hear the bell, I am up and like a ninja getting my bag out of the overhead in a split second.

 

I hate flying. Big time.

 

I once registered the domain name LessThanCoach.com with plans to complain about how bad US Airlines was. Now, American. American has gone down hill. Delta is better these days. You wanna know a good airline? Alaska Airlines ... night and day from the cheapo airlines. Coach on Alaska is like first class on US.

[Sho Nuff 720]

I remember when you could smoke on airplanes ... and easily drink underage. Poor people took the bus, or drove because gas was 65 cents a gallon and full of lead. I used to like flying ... have a nice meal, watch a movie ... now it's a cattle call. I've told many horror stories here. This is the one with the most humor though. About 2003.

 

So, I somehow never got to designate my seat. Was coming home for the holidays, didn't want to but a ticket was purchased for me, flying from NY to AZ on some cheap ass airline. Flight was full, and I got designated the worst seat on the plane. Aisle seat, last row, next to the bathrooms.

 

Right off the bat, the guy in front of me reclines his seat. My seat does not recline, because there is a metal wall behind me. That seat did however have the buttons ... just didn't work. I literally could touch my thumb to my nose, and my pinky to the seatback in front of me. What am I gonna do? Freak out like some psycho? No, I'm gonna sit and deal with it. Then the plane got in the air. A bunch of people came back to use the bathroom. There was a line. So, one person would go in, and then as they'd leave, they would have to squeeze past the line to get back to their seat. So, I am 6 foot 1, 200 plus, I have broad shoulders. Each time, the person who just left the bathroom would have to rub their ass or their crotch on my shoulder as they left the bathroom. I started to freak out. I called a stewardess.

 

"You have to move me. This is insane. I have no room. You need to put a child in this seat." and she was all, "I believe the plane is full." and I begged her, "Please, can you check?" and there was an open middle seat a couple rows up. I moved up there and of course the guys there were all, "Pffft" angry they had to move their coats.

 

I might have some kinda phobia ... whatever it is, people you don't know, walking up from behind you and rubbing their ass on your shoulder right after going to the bathroom ... obia. Kinda bothers me. Call me weird.

 

Since that flight, I always make sure to get an aisle seat as close to the front as possible. I'm the guy who knows exactly where his carry on is, and can't friggin wait to get off the plane and have a cig. I do not focking waste time. When I hear the bell, I am up and like a ninja getting my bag out of the overhead in a split second.

 

I hate flying. Big time.

 

I once registered the domain name LessThanCoach.com with plans to complain about how bad US Airlines was. Now, American. American has gone down hill. Delta is better these days. You wanna know a good airline? Alaska Airlines ... night and day from the cheapo airlines. Coach on Alaska is like first class on US.

 

They were pissed because a 6ft 1 200+ (meaning likely 250 or more) fatty was going to be sitting in between them and yapping non-stop the whole trip because you don't know how to shut the fock up.

[Giants Fan 85]

 

They were pissed because a 6ft 1 200+ (meaning likely 250 or more) fatty was going to be sitting in between them and yapping non-stop the whole trip because you don't know how to shut the fock up.

 

Oh, hey is that you Steve?

 

Do you still have my business card?

 

No, they understood. I was very apologetic. I can understand having that seat gap and thinking you had it for the entire flight ... and the losing it ... but that seat was hell. I was 215 ... max ... more likely 205. Doesn'y matter, I have broad shoulders either way.

[Giants Fan 85]

Here's a picture of me, years later ... metal detecting in Canada with a distant relative who was also tall, and with big shoulders.

 

He's whatever .. 6 foot 5? I had bigger shoulders.

 

http://img823.imageshack.us/img823/4556/ulk4.jpg

 

I'm not fat ... I just have big shoulders.

[Sho Nuff 720]

 

Oh, hey is that you Steve?

 

Do you still have my business card?

 

No, they understood. I was very apologetic. I can understand having that seat gap and thinking you had it for the entire flight ... and the losing it ... but that seat was hell. I was 215 ... max ... more likely 205. Doesn'y matter, I have broad shoulders either way.

 

Guarantee you were not 205....but nice try.

[The Moz 69]

You shouldn't have been flying with kids that young in the first place. Pay a nanny or don't take the trip.

 

Even with your wife the decision was selfish - not only due to the irritation you created for your fellow passengers, but also the discomfort you likely caused your newborn.

Ummm It was for my (now EX) wife's grand mothers 85th birthday - her whole family was going to Honk Kong. You think it was selfish - dude go fock yourself you don't know a damn thing about what happened. I would of MUCH rather of not gone and only went after she complained for like a month

[The Moz 69]

So are u saying the resident board racist is actually married to a chink ??

 

Irony.

 

She is 1/2 Chinese 1/2 Irish. But yeah I guess you got it right But she is my ex wife. Sop yes that makes my kids maybe 40% white and 60% made up of - Colombian,Lebanese, Chinese. thank God we all at least look white

[IGotWorms 3,445]

Fat people

Smelly people

Babies

Hyperactive kids

Hungover flying

Airplane food I probably shouldn't have eaten

Questionable landings in really sh!tty weather

 

That pretty much covers it for me

[penultimatestraw 473]

Ummm It was for my (now EX) wife's grand mothers 85th birthday - her whole family was going to Honk Kong. You think it was selfish - dude go fock yourself you don't know a damn thing about what happened. I would of MUCH rather of not gone and only went after she complained for like a month

Yes it was selfish - your children didn't NEED to fly. You placed your personal priorities ahead of the other passengers on that flight. The details of the birthday celebration are irrelevant.

 

It isn't the rest of the world's responsibility to deal with your kids and/or unreasonable (ex)-wife's demands. It is predicable that the youngest would have a tough time during such a trip, in part due to their developing eustachian tubes. You wouldn't tolerate an adult screaming the entire trip, so why should your co-passengers have to tolerate your children?

 

Children shouldn't fly free, their fare should be increased to discourage travel. Or they should have family flights to herd all the breeders together.

[Patriotsfatboy1 1,432]

Yes it was selfish - your children didn't NEED to fly. You placed your personal priorities ahead of the other passengers on that flight. The details of the birthday celebration are irrelevant.

 

It isn't the rest of the world's responsibility to deal with your kids and/or unreasonable (ex)-wife's demands. It is predicable that the youngest would have a tough time during such a trip, in part due to their developing eustachian tubes. You wouldn't tolerate an adult screaming the entire trip, so why should your co-passengers have to tolerate your children?

 

Children shouldn't fly free, their fare should be increased to discourage travel. Or they should have family flights to herd all the breeders together.

I hope that you've castrated yourself.

[penultimatestraw 473]

I hope that you've castrated yourself.

Nobody said being a parent is easy. Because most people have children at some time, society overlooks behavior that is otherwise unacceptable.

 

Do you disagree that bringing young kids on a plane is selfish?

[Patriotsfatboy1 1,432]

Nobody said being a parent is easy. Because most people have children at some time, society overlooks behavior that is otherwise unacceptable.

 

Do you disagree that bringing young kids on a plane is selfish?

 

Yes, I disagree wholeheartedly. Kids and parents have as much right to be on a plane as anyone else. If you want to fly without kids in your presence, fly First Class, you cheap bastard.

[penultimatestraw 473]

 

Yes, I disagree wholeheartedly. Kids and parents have as much right to be on a plane as anyone else. If you want to fly without kids in your presence, fly First Class, you cheap bastard.

I didn't say they don't have the right to fly, I just said it is selfish. I did say families should be herded together. Apparently I am not alone:

An overwhelming majority of air travelers to a recent survey by Skytrax -- 9 in 10 respondents -- said families with children should be seated in a separate section on flights, presumably not in first class.

The problem is, first class doesn't restrict children on most, if not all, airlines. It has nothing to do with being cheap. An interesting article on the topic:http://www.cnn.com/2009/TRAVEL/06/29/kids.on.planes/index.html

No four words incite more acrimonious debate among air travelers. Not "your flight is delayed." Not "here's a new fee." Not even "snakes on a plane."

On one side, you have childless customers who just want a little civility while they're locked inside a pressurized aluminum tube. And on the other, parents who believe airlines should accommodate anyone, anytime -- particularly their beloved offspring.

Talk about oil and water. Or maybe, nitroglycerin.

Children and planes can be a combustible mix. Consider:

Two hours into her recent JetBlue flight from New York to Las Vegas, Marilyn Parver watched as a loud child that had been annoying other passengers nonstop since takeoff finally made one of them snap. She videotaped the ensuing fight (http://www.elliott.org/blog/heres-the-video-that-got-grandmother-detained-on-jetblue-flight/), and oddly, was threatened with arrest after refusing to delete the footage.

When Tamera Jo Freeman's kids began to argue about a window shade on a Frontier Airlines flight and spilled a Bloody Mary into her lap, she spanked her offspring, which provoked a confrontation with a flight attendant. Freeman threw a can of tomato juice on the floor, and was arrested and convicted of a federal felony defined as an act of terrorism under the Patriot Act.

Kate Penland's toddler son wouldn't stop repeating the words "bye, bye plane" as a Continental Express flight from Atlanta to Oklahoma City taxied down the runway. A flight attendant suggested that Penland administer baby Benadryl, a medication that's often used to sedate overactive kids. When Penland refused, the flight turned around and both passengers were kicked off the plane.

And who can forget the case of Daniel Reed Cunningham, the Northwest Airlines flight attendant charged with spiking a 19-month-old girl's apple juice with Xanax, a prescription depressant?

Question is, what to do about the littlest air travelers?

A decade ago, the last time I wrote about this issue, my sympathies were with solo passengers who wanted to ban babies on board. But now I have three kids -- ages 6, 4 and 2 --and I'm leaning to the parents' side.

Kinda.

Here are five ways we might approach the kids-on-a-planes problem -- and what you can do to become part of the solution:

Kids-only section

"I would gladly pay an extra $20 each way to avoid the noise and headaches," says Randy Gillespie, a travel agent from Collingswood, New Jersey, adding that such an option should be built into the fare rather than offered as an optional add-on.

Kids-only sections have been tried on an informal basis in the past, but never quite caught on. Families couldn't be forced into one section of a plane any more than kids could be excluded from, say, first class. But you can still find your own "kid free" section on a plane. On domestic flights, children may not sit in exit rows, and they're unlikely to make an appearance in business- and first-class sections, where seats are super-expensive.

Ban 'em

"I don't know whether it would be practical to have child-free flights," says Bill Armstrong, an information technology consultant from Calgary. "But certainly, I am on the list of people who would pay a little extra for that." Armstrong recently endured a nine-hour flight with a child that "had developed a uniquely annoying scream" that didn't stop and could be heard even while Armstrong wore headphones.

But is getting rid of all children a viable solution? Probably not. That's not to say crewmembers shouldn't be more vigilant about looking for potentially disruptive kids during boarding and warning their parents that outbursts and other forms of unapproved behavior won't be tolerated.

If you suspect you'll have a problem with an unruly child sitting next to you -- and this is especially true if it's your own child -- then speak up before the cabin doors close. A crewmember might be able to move you to a different section. Or a different flight.

No, get rid of the annoying adults!

In fairness, I can't raise the issue of banning kids without handing the mic to angry parents who think annoying adults should be banned, too. So here it goes.

"Are there really more disruptive kids on planes than obnoxious adults?" asks Hayley Schultz, who travels with her three kids, ages 5, 7, and 9, and notes that they sit in their seats, read books and watch TV without incident. Good point.

If you want to see annoying adults, just take a red-eye flight from Las Vegas, where half the unlucky passengers are trying to drown their sorrows one mini-bottle of cheap whiskey at a time. Or board a wintertime flight from any New York airport to Palm Beach, Florida, a route known for its preponderance of irritating passengers.

Schultz represented some of the more levelheaded comments I've received from parents who thought this whole debate shouldn't be happening at all. Point taken -- but not enough to end the discussion.

Encourage responsible parenting

Many in-flight altercations are a result of negligent parenting, to hear some passengers talk about it.

A 5-year-old on a flight from Charlotte to Albany, New York, recently kicked Mauranna Sherman, an administrative assistant from Forest, Virginia, repeatedly. When she turned around, the boy's mother just shrugged. "Mom had no bag of toys or books or techie stuff" to distract her son, she remembered.

Airlines bear some responsibility in helping adults prepare for a flight with their offspring, and their Web sites could do a far better job of telling new parents what to expect on a flight. But ultimately, of course, it's the parents' job to make sure they've packed enough food and entertainment for the flight.

I've heard of childless passengers packing their own snacks, toys and games to deal with stressed-out kids they might encounter on a flight. That's not a bad idea.

Pass new seatbelt laws

"I would like to see kids more secure during flight," says Nancy Hatten, a flight attendant who lives in Farmington, Minnesota. "Parents of children under two should be required to purchase a passenger seat for the child and then keep them buckled in a child car seat during flight."

That would require parents to buy a seat for their kids, which they currently aren't required to do. But it would almost certainly make air travel safer and saner for everyone else. Toddlers strapped in a car seat usually come to terms with their circumstances quickly and know that a stroll down the aisle to visit the pilot is not possible.

Airlines can make it easier for parents to buy an extra seat by offering a discount and providing parents with special seats or child-friendly seatbelts, the same way car rental companies do.

Even though I have three children, I still can't quite bring myself to siding with many parents, who seem to feel as if their kids should be able to fly anywhere, anytime and behave in any way they want to. (They're kids, after all!)

My offspring are capable of some of the most annoying behavior ever. After all, I'm their father. So when a flight attendant tells me my kids are out of line, I'm the first to agree. I wouldn't dream of seating my children in business- or first class even if I could afford it. That's a topic for another column, though.

But ban kids outright? I used to like the idea, at least in theory, but now see eye-to-eye with readers like Lisa Hirsch, a Los Angeles-based entertainment journalist.

"What are parents with small children supposed to do?" she asked me. "Never travel?"

My response to the last question in the article: Find child care or wait until your kids are old enough to behave themselves. Doesn't seem that difficult.

[JackARoot 2]

Years ago, I was boarding a plane with Wifey, and my two oldest sons who were 6 and 2 at the time. Had to bring a car seat for the 2 year old, and everybody is visibly hoping we don't have the seats next to them. We find our row, wife and 6 year old are on one side of the aisle, me and 2 year old and car seat on the other side. A guy is in the window seat, I put the 2 year old in the aisle seat, and I take the middle seat. I'm a little self-conscious and am hoping my kids behave well.

 

So, a few minutes into the flight, the guy in the window seat had ordered a cup of coffee, then fell asleep, then jerked awake and knocked the whole cup of hot coffee into my lap So, I was no longer worried about my kids' behavior for the rest of the flight.

[Patriotsfatboy1 1,432]

I didn't say they don't have the right to fly, I just said it is selfish. I did say families should be herded together. Apparently I am not alone:

The problem is, first class doesn't restrict children on most, if not all, airlines. It has nothing to do with being cheap. An interesting article on the topic:http://www.cnn.com/2009/TRAVEL/06/29/kids.on.planes/index.html

My response to the last question in the article: Find child care or wait until your kids are old enough to behave themselves. Doesn't seem that difficult.

 

Or, you could demand a separate section from airlines. The reality is that people with kids travel quite often and it is part of the deal when you travel. I travel a ton for business and go all over the place. I don't want the screaming kid on a red-eye from the West Coast and I don't want a kid kicking the back of my chair.

 

I also don't want the drunk guy or the obnoxious person who thinks that they should travel with every worldly possession in the overhead space and under the seats. I don't like traveling with fat, smelly people overwhelming my personal space.

 

You may see something common in that all of these people get on planes and they travel. If you want your own little world without these distractions and issues, you might want to get your own jet. To say that taking your kid on a flight to see their grandparents or to move across country is somehow selfish, it patently absurd and frankly, selfish.

 

I think that there are things that responsible parents can do to make it so that their kids are better behaved on flights and I have always looked to tap into those options (flying JetBlue is great). However, your approach that this is something where kids should not be flying if they can't act like the Sound of Music for all 6 hours of the cross country flight is way off base.

[jerryskids 5,424]

I didn't say they don't have the right to fly, I just said it is selfish.

...

My response to the last question in the article: Find child care or wait until your kids are old enough to behave themselves. Doesn't seem that difficult.

What is "selfish?" Pretty much anything we do in life is for our interests. Anyway, a few thoughts.

 

There is a difference between infants/toddlers and unruly kids. The former are pretty much uncontrollable and often cry or have tantrums. I've flown a million zillion times and it never bothers me because... I am an adult and I control my reaction. Also I've been there as the parent of a 20 month old who on a cross country flight would not... stop... crying. Now I just tune it out.

 

The latter sometimes upsets me for a bit, not the behavior per se but the fact that many parents these days don't even try to control their spoiled little brats. Then I go back to whatever I was doing. Because I am an adult and I control my reaction.

[The Moz 69]

Nobody said being a parent is easy. Because most people have children at some time, society overlooks behavior that is otherwise unacceptable.

 

Do you disagree that bringing young kids on a plane is selfish?

Yet another person w/o kids trying to pretend he knows best go back to being the resident Pretend board doctor.