MDC 5,902 Posted July 10, 2018 Back to crumbling Had a friend that worked facilities and her boss wanted her to send out an email asking employees how many squares they use while wiping. True story. She was embarrassed to do it but she did. Answers varied. WTF did he want to know that for? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Frozenbeernuts 1,652 Posted July 10, 2018 Folding is neater and cleaner all the way around. Theres no way you can reach the necessary wiping PSI with a crumpled wad and keep the sh!t off your fingers. I'm surprised you don't fold your toilet paper into triangles Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Frozenbeernuts 1,652 Posted July 10, 2018 Standing to wipe, wtf is the matter with you people? I can get it all with toilet paper. Sure it's cleaner to go over with a wipe, but thats just kind of ghey Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Frozenbeernuts 1,652 Posted July 10, 2018 There is a 100% chance that if you crumple to wipe, you get poop on your fingers at least 50% of the time Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
MDC 5,902 Posted July 10, 2018 There is a 100% chance that if you crumple to wipe, you get poop on your fingers at least 50% of the time Crumplers lick it off. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
edjr 5,583 Posted July 10, 2018 There is a 100% chance that if you crumple to wipe, you get poop on your fingers at least 50% of the time There is a 50% chance, that 25% of the time they don't even wash their hands Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
KSB2424 3,085 Posted July 10, 2018 Alright, just pooped. At work in a work stall. Tried the sit down method, lean left and go up and under. My junk hit the side of the toilet / toilet seat and I freaked out. Y'all are gross. Stand up like real men. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
KSB2424 3,085 Posted July 10, 2018 There is a 100% chance that if you crumple to wipe, you get poop on your fingers at least 50% of the time Agreed, crumpling is mathematically dumb. Surface Area is the key here and crumpling reduces surface area of the paper. This is science it cannot be refuted. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
dain11279 928 Posted July 10, 2018 I have went through the agony of running out of TP before and having to stand to go grab some more. And yet some of you choose this horrific method after each BM. You are pure focking psychopaths, delete your accounts Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
fandandy 3,311 Posted July 10, 2018 There is a 50% chance, that 25% of the time they don't even wash their hands Standing wipers almost never wash their hands and they are the sole reason that there is ever on the stall walls. Trying to balance their fat asses with their poop covered hands as they squat like savages to wipe their ass with a crumpled ball of toilet paper. Sick. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
edjr 5,583 Posted July 10, 2018 Alright, just pooped. At work in a work stall. Tried the sit down method, lean left and go up and under. My junk hit the side of the toilet / toilet seat and I freaked out. Y'all are gross. Stand up like real men. Da fuq am I reading???????? lean forward and wipe like a normal person. christ on a crutch how fat are you Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
KSB2424 3,085 Posted July 10, 2018 Standing wipers almost never wash their hands and they are the sole reason that there is ever ###### on the stall walls. Trying to balance their fat asses with their poop covered hands as they squat like savages to wipe their ass with a crumpled ball of toilet paper. Sick. Wrong. I suffer from OCD. I wash my hands probably 20 times a day. I am deathly scared of getting my junk on any toilet seat and having an grain of poo left after wiping. I stand to wipe because it is the cleanest way. Sitting is lazy. LAZY I say. L.A.Z.Y Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Reality 2,710 Posted July 10, 2018 Alright, just pooped. At work in a work stall. Tried the sit down method, lean left and go up and under. My junk hit the side of the toilet / toilet seat and I freaked out. Y'all are gross. Stand up like real men. I was correct, I underestimated the coordination it takes to lean left and wipe your ass. You guys who need to stand, I get it now, I'll no longer be confused by it. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
KSB2424 3,085 Posted July 10, 2018 Da fuq am I reading???????? lean forward and wipe like a normal person. christ on a crutch how fat are you Lean forward? Aren't you scared your junk will touch the water or front of the toilet? I am a lot of things.....fat isn't one of them. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
edjr 5,583 Posted July 10, 2018 Lean forward? Aren't you scared your junk will touch the water or front of the toilet? I am a lot of things.....fat isn't one of them. This is so confusing it hurts Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
KSB2424 3,085 Posted July 10, 2018 This is so confusing it hurts So you are sitting on the toilet seat and lean forward enough that the back of you ass lifts up enough to get a hand back there to wipe. That means your front side (if you have a pen!s) tilts down and forward. Or does it not? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
KSB2424 3,085 Posted July 10, 2018 I get women who sit and wipe sitting, they don't have any hanging undercarriage to worry about. Men? I get my prized possession away from that bowl of dirtiness as fast as I can. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
edjr 5,583 Posted July 10, 2018 So you are sitting on the toilet seat and lean forward enough that the back of you ass lifts up enough to get a hand back there to wipe. That means your front side (if you have a pen!s) tilts down and forward. Or does it not? NO!!!!!!!!!!!!! there is a focking toilet there and a toilet seat (but with you I'm wondering) Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
KSB2424 3,085 Posted July 10, 2018 NO!!!!!!!!!!!!! there is a focking toilet there and a toilet seat (but with you I'm wondering) Can you have surferskin please youtube a demonstration? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
tanatastic 2,061 Posted July 10, 2018 Standing to wipe, wtf is the matter with you people? I can get it all with toilet paper. Sure it's cleaner to go over with a wipe, but thats just kind of ghey Being cleaner is not ghey. No, you can’t get it all with TP. There is a 50% chance, that 25% of the time they don't even wash their hands True, I almost never wash my hands. I’ll even jerk off, crap then make a sandwich after no problem. Never get sick either. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Frozenbeernuts 1,652 Posted July 10, 2018 Being cleaner is not ghey. No, you cant get it all with TP. True, I almost never wash my hands. Ill even jerk off, crap then make a sandwich after no problem. Never get sick either. Washing your hands is so others remain sanitary....... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
tanatastic 2,061 Posted July 10, 2018 Washing your hands is so others remain sanitary....... Other people aren’t me, I don’t give a fock. Numero uno esta mas importante. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Frozenbeernuts 1,652 Posted July 10, 2018 I have went through the agony of running out of TP before and having to stand to go grab some more. And yet some of you choose this horrific method after each BM. You are pure focking psychopaths, delete your accounts That's what Im saying. The poo squishes in the cheeks. Ew Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
tanatastic 2,061 Posted July 10, 2018 I’ve tried many times to sit and wipe, I really have. I’m an average build, no restrictions there. It just doesn’t give me the leverage and efficiency needed to complete the job thoroughly. I’ll even try again today. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
edjr 5,583 Posted July 10, 2018 Out of all the threads I have opened in my life. This one has given me the most regret. I have lost faith in humanity Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
dain11279 928 Posted July 10, 2018 Out of all the threads I have opened in my life. This one has given me the most regret. I have lost faith in humanity Right? Sometimes I think this place is make-believe Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Reality 2,710 Posted July 10, 2018 Right? Sometimes I think this place is make-believe Seriously, I am pretty sure people are just focking with us.. Could you imagine walking in on some dude standing up and wiping his a$$? 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
edjr 5,583 Posted July 10, 2018 Seriously, I am pretty sure people are just focking with us.. Could you imagine walking in on some dude standing up and wiping his a$$? I've told the story before. My best friend and I were roomates way back, we were 21. I woke up and walked into the bathroom, and there he was, sitting on the shitter, wiping his ass FROM THE FRONT I was horrified. I ran and hid in the closet and tried to pretend it was a dream. and he crumples too! I asked him if he grew up in the woods being raised by animals. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
tanatastic 2,061 Posted July 10, 2018 Seriously, I am pretty sure people are just focking with us.. Could you imagine walking in on some dude standing up and wiping his a$$? Google it, its a popular topic that divides people every time its brought up. Either side cant believe how the other manages it. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
edjr 5,583 Posted July 10, 2018 Google it, its a popular topic that divides people every time its brought up. Either side cant believe how the other manages it. much like politics Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
jerryskids 5,213 Posted July 10, 2018 Anybody here a standing wiper AND a crumpler??? I'd have thought evolution would have taken care of those moufbreathers already. Lean forward? Aren't you scared your junk will touch the water or front of the toilet? I am a lot of things.....fat isn't one of them. If my junk hit the water I wouldn't need TP, I'd have a supermodel there to lick me clean. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Patriotsfatboy1 1,432 Posted July 10, 2018 Out of all the threads I have opened in my life. This one has given me the most regret. I have lost faith in humanity The Bell Curve is definitely strong in this place. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Frozenbeernuts 1,652 Posted July 10, 2018 Ive tried many times to sit and wipe, I really have. Im an average build, no restrictions there. It just doesnt give me the leverage and efficiency needed to complete the job thoroughly. Ill even try again today. Is your poo the consistency of concrete and silly puddy mixed together? Why would you need so much leverage? Do you have comically short arms? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
fandandy 3,311 Posted July 10, 2018 Is your poo the consistency of concrete and silly puddy mixed together? Why would you need so much leverage? Do you have comically short arms? He's prolly got one of those shag rugs in front of his toilet that is just chocked full of and ground up bits of toilet paper. I can't imagine the flies in there. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
tanatastic 2,061 Posted July 10, 2018 Is your poo the consistency of concrete and silly puddy mixed together? Why would you need so much leverage? Do you have comically short arms? It’s just an inferior position, that’s all I can say. I need range of motion and room to inspect my work, analyze wiping needs, reach wipes. I can’t be bothered with the bowl in my way, no room to swipe, have to look back to inspect. I’m just at a higher level of advanced wiping. You can get there too one day I’m sure of it. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
tanatastic 2,061 Posted July 10, 2018 Ill bet you sitters dont even look at the paper after you wipe. You just wipe a set amount of times (2-3) and move on. Gross. Theres a reason your friends call you The streak, it aint because you are fast. 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Frozenbeernuts 1,652 Posted July 10, 2018 I check until there is no brown. If you go through all this Tan, do you at least have a mirror to inspect your work after you're done? And it's just freaky that you are so cool with that squishy poo feeling when you stand up. That's therapist worthy right there Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
tanatastic 2,061 Posted July 10, 2018 I check until there is no brown. If you go through all this Tan, do you at least have a mirror to inspect your work after you're done? And it's just freaky that you are so cool with that squishy poo feeling when you stand up. That's therapist worthy right there Theres no squishy poo feeling. My poop goes in the toilet, I dont let a log hang out. When you wipe and theres nothing there, you are done. I use at least 3 baby wipes per crap to ensure it. I need to be Newbie ready after every dump. Wasnt always like that, as a little kid I would constantly stain my tighty whiteys and have poop butt. Pretty nasty. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
vuduchile 1,941 Posted July 10, 2018 If I can tolerate the mos, dykes and trannys, I guess I can tolerate the sitting wipers. LBGTSW! Crumplers deserve a proper shunning. We'll make them wear a russet letter so they can be easily identified and ridiculed. And any living soul who wipes back to front goes immediately to the firing squad. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Cruzer 1,992 Posted July 10, 2018 You wouldn't believe how many attorneys bolt out of the stall, sail right past the sink - and keep on going. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
