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BiffTannen

****Final Countdown: The 100 GREATEST HAIR SONGS OF ALL TIME: ACCORDING TO ME****

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The greatest music genre/decade of all time is one that should be celebrated and appreciated. I'm sure there will be songs that some believe should be included in this countdown that I do not, so I apologize in advance. With that said let's get this kicked off with...... 

Master List

100. KISS - Tears Are Falling

99. Damn Yankees - Come Again

98. Poison - Every Rose Has It's Thorn

97. Europe - Rock the Night

96. Krokus - Screaming In The Night

95. Def Leppard - Pour Some Sugar On Me

94. Warrant - Cherry Pie

93. XZY - Inside Out

92. Alice Cooper - Poison

91. Y&T - Summertime Girls

90. Bon Jovi - Born To Be My Baby

89. Motley Crue - Dr. Feelgood 

88. Scorpions - Rock You Like A Hurricane

87. Guns N' Roses - My Michelle 

86. Van Halen - Jump

85. RATT - I Want A Woman

84. Dokken - Just Got Lucky

83. Cinderella - Somebody Save Me

82. Skid Row - Monkey Business

81. Def Leppard - Animal 

80. KIX - Blow My Fuse

79. W.A.S.P. - Blind In Texas

78. L.A. Guns - Electric Gypsy

77. Motley Crue - Looks That Kill

76. Slaughter - Up All Night

75. Whitesnake - Fool for Your Loving 

74. BulletBoys - Smooth Up In Ya

73. Def Leppard - Let It Go

72. Saigon Kick - Love Is On The Way

71. Cinderella - Don't Know What You Got (Til It's Gone) 

70. Great White - Lady Red Light

69. Sammy Hagar - Heavy Metal 

68. Dokken - In My Dreams 

67. KISS - Lick It Up

66. Winger - Madalaine

65. Scorpions - Tease Me Please Me

64. Firehouse - All She Wrote

63. Motley Crue - Live Wire

62. RATT - Slip Of The Lip

61. W.A.S.P. - I Wanna Be Somebody

60. Def Leppard - Foolin' 

59. Quiet Riot - Bang Your Head (Metal Health)

58. Twisted Sister - I Wanna Rock

57. Van Halen - Panama

56. McAuley Schenker - Anytime

55. L.A. Guns - Sex Action

54. KIX - Get It While It's Hot

53. Dokken - Unchain The Night

52. Great White - House of Broken Love

51. Britny Fox - Girlschool

50. Warrant - Down Boys

49.

48.

47.

46.

45.

44.

 

 

 

 

 

100. KISS - Tears are Falling

KISS sucked balls in the 1970's, but once they 80's rolled around and they took the paint off they were awesome. 

 

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By the time the 80s rolled around, Paul Stanley was tired of hiding his gayness, he let it all out in the 80s.

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Even as ridiculous as we looked/dressed back then, the 80's were great.

I'm glad I was a teenager then and not today.

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1 minute ago, Cruzer said:

Even as ridiculous as we looked/dressed back then, the 80's were great.

I'm glad I was a teenager then and not today.

watch your tongue!!

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99. Damn Yankees - Come Again

The original super group featuring one of the greatest Americans to ever live -Uncle Ted

 

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I'm sure I have this song ranked way low according to fellow HAIR nerds, but lets call it like it is. 

I like Poison. Poison played a huge part in the 80s HAIR movement. Poison is also a bubblegum pusssy band. That said, their #1 ballad deserves a spot on the countdown. 

98. Poison - Every Rose Has It's Thorn

 

 

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14 minutes ago, BiffTannen said:

I'm sure I have this song ranked way low according to fellow HAIR nerds, but lets call it like it is. 

I like Poison. Poison played a huge part in the 80s HAIR movement. Poison is also a bubblegum pusssy band. That said, their #1 ballad deserves a spot on the countdown. 

 

 

 

For what they were. Poison had to be up there with Motley Crue when it came to scoring puzzy

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Just now, edjr said:

For what they were. Poison had to be up there with Motley Crue when it came to scoring puzzy

Without a doubt. BM is probably in Wilt Chamberlin territory. 

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2 minutes ago, edjr said:

For what they were. Poison had to be up there with Motley Crue when it came to scoring puzzy

Does it count if they were fingering themselves

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America is way better than Europe, but Europe rocked it out with this one.....

97. Europe - Rock the Night

 

 

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1 minute ago, BiffTannen said:

Without a doubt. BM is probably in Wilt Chamberlin territory. 

and STILL AT IT

I really enjoyed Rock of Love season 1, 2 and 3 . lots of sluts on those shows :wub:

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These guys are one of the most overlooked/underrated HAIR bands of the 80s and I can't figure out why. This song is great for grabbing a 12 pack and going for a summer cruise with the windows down. 

96. Krokus - Screaming In The Night

 

 

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Some people are beer snobs, others are porn snobs, I am a HAIR snob. This next band will show up multiple times in this countdown and while this is their most famous/recognizable hit, and while I also appreciate it, it is bubblegum trash. 

95. Def Leppard - Pour Some Sugar On Me

 

 

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Just now, BiffTannen said:

Some people are beer snobs, others are porn snobs, I am a HAIR snob. This next band will show up multiple times in this countdown and while this is their most famous/recognizable hit, and while I also appreciate it, it is bubblegum trash. 

95. Def Leppard - Pour Some Sugar On Me

 

 

No better song to get the old hags dancing than this and Shook me all night long

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1 minute ago, edjr said:

No better song to get the old hags dancing than this and Shook me all night long

Agreed, but as far as music goes, High and Dry album kicked the shitt out of their later stuff that MTV spooged over. 

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We will proceed to get the bubblegum out of the way as we travel down the road to a real man's list of great HAIR. 

Great song when shittfaced at the titttybar after you've just snorted a ginormous gagger. 

94. Warrant - Cherry Pie

 

 

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2 hours ago, edjr said:

95. Def Leppard - Pour Some Sugar On Me

No better song to get the old hags dancing than this and Shook me all night long

This alone should have this song higher I think.

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If you do not like HAIR band videos shot in a junkyard, in the desert, with barrel trash cans on fire, you are not my friend. 

93. XYZ - Inside Out

 

 

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IT'S THE VINYL COUNTDOWN!!!!

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When I was a kid, this guy scared the shitt out of me. This song reminds me of times I have had flings with crazy chicks that could fock like champions. 

92. Alice Cooper - Poison 

 

 

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This song makes me wish I was 20 years younger and going on spring break with a pocket full of rubbers and trunk full of Busch Light. 

91. Y&T - Summertime Girls

 

 

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2 minutes ago, kutulu said:

 

Holy crap!  I haven’t heard Helix 25 years. 

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9 minutes ago, Herbivore said:

looking forward to your list.  Summertime Girls..should be higher.

I used to really like Y&T... until that song/album. saw them quite a bit.

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11 hours ago, BiffTannen said:

I'm sure I have this song ranked way low according to fellow HAIR nerds, but lets call it like it is. 

I like Poison. Poison played a huge part in the 80s HAIR movement. Poison is also a bubblegum pusssy band. That said, their #1 ballad deserves a spot on the countdown. 

98. Poison - Every Rose Has It's Thorn

 

 

Shoulda been top 25

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Awesome man. Krokus, Y&T, Helix. Memories of a simpler time. :cheers:

Don't forget Zebra!

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You won't find this one celebrated by very many people, but it was always one of my favorite cheese tracks by the New Jersey bandit. 

90. Bon Jovi - Born To Be My Baby 

 

 

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Here is another group that will make multiple appearances on the greatest countdown to ever be counted. As with a few choices above, I'm sure some will feel this is way too low, but when it comes to great HAIR, most of the best songs are B sides and the ones not played on the radio. This one got played a little too much over time, but is still a kickass song. 

89. Motley Crue - Dr. Feelgood

 

 

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In a weird way. This won't feel right if The Final Countdown isn't #1

 

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1 minute ago, Kopy said:

In a weird way. This won't feel right if The Final Countdown isn't #1

 

I want to avoid spoilers, but that song isn't going to make the list at all. 

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2 hours ago, DonS said:

 

Don't forget Zebra!

One of the few bands of that era that I'll personally give a :thumbsup:

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1 hour ago, BiffTannen said:

I want to avoid spoilers, but that song isn't going to make the list at all. 

That's like going to a steak restaurant and asking for chicken. :(

 

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Yet another band that will be making multiple appearances. This song gets played on the radio/jukebox the most and is a great song, but not their best. 

88. Scorpions - Rock You Like A Hurricane

 

 

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23 hours ago, BiffTannen said:

These guys are one of the most overlooked/underrated HAIR bands of the 80s and I can't figure out why. This song is great for grabbing a 12 pack and going for a summer cruise with the windows down. 

96. Krokus - Screaming In The Night

 

 

Great selection on your part. 

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On 12/13/2019 at 9:01 AM, BiffTannen said:

The greatest music genre/decade of all time 

 

:lol:

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21 hours ago, BiffTannen said:

When I was a kid, this guy scared the shitt out of me. This song reminds me of times I have had flings with crazy chicks that could fock like champions. 

92. Alice Cooper - Poison 

 

This is just one example of the "Decade / Genre" point ( My angle )  I'm posting here. This is on your list but it's probably about #100 down the list of Alice Coopers greatest songs. Sure it was a hit, but it pretty much sucks compared to his / their 70's stuff. 

 

BUT HEY........this is YOUR LIST, and I love that you're honest about that, kudos!  :thumbsup:

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20 hours ago, Bier Meister said:

I used to really like Y&T... until that song/album. saw them quite a bit.

I saw them on that tour, for sure the earlier stuff is better

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I have went back and forth on these guys numerous times the last 20 years in trying to decide if they belong in the HAIR category or if they are just good old fashioned rock n roll. As of today, I am going to call them HAIR and include them in the countdown. This is one of the few albums ever produced where every track was a home run. Coming in next....

87. Guns N' Roses - My Michelle 

 

 

 

 

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I am prepared for the hate I will get on this one and the comments that it should be much higher, but it's in that bubblegum category. 

86. Van Halen - Jump

 

 

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On 12/13/2019 at 12:47 PM, BiffTannen said:

Some people are beer snobs, others are porn snobs, I am a HAIR snob. This next band will show up multiple times in this countdown and while this is their most famous/recognizable hit, and while I also appreciate it, it is bubblegum trash. 

95. Def Leppard - Pour Some Sugar On Me

 

 

It might have been bubblegum trash, but this song was sure a panty dropper...

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