Who was your dirtiest girlfriend (or boyfriend if you choose)

[TommyGavin 790]

Allison. She was the nerdiest nerd and no one gave her a second look with her four eyes looking back you. 
Then she became known as Anal Alley. 

[edjr 6,890]

your mom

[TommyGavin 790]

34 minutes ago, edjr said:

your mom

It’s funny because my mom told me a joke the other day and the punchline because he had a tiny D1ck. Total coincidence but Edgar probably has a tiny wiener 

[5-Points 3,750]

Jennifer. Black chick. Told me two things she'd never do, take it in the ass or swallow. 

Went ATM two weeks later.....and swallowed. 

 

[Djgb13 2,339]

Andi. 5’2 blonde with a big ass. That chick was insane. Sexual chemistry was off the charts and she’s was down for whatever. But didn’t feel right with her. But if had to choose someone to go back and bang again it would be her. I got a thing for blondes  

[BunnysBastatrds 2,583]

 Sticky Vicky. Wettest loudest pudding EVER! Loved to bang to Queensrhce.

[Djgb13 2,339]

1 hour ago, TommyGavin said:

Allison. She was the nerdiest nerd and no one gave her a second look with her four eyes looking back you. 
Then she became known as Anal Alley. 

She had Bette Davis eyes didn’t she 

[TommyGavin 790]

9 minutes ago, BunnysBastatrds said:

 Sticky Vicky. Wettest loudest pudding EVER! Loved to bang to Queensrhce.

I had a sticky Vicky. Had to jump out the back door when her husband came home. We were 18 her husband was in his 40’s. 

[TommyGavin 790]

7 minutes ago, Djgb13 said:

She had Bette Davis eyes didn’t she 

She was a four eyed geek. I have no idea who her eyes looked like. But her ballon knot winked at me. 

[Djgb13 2,339]

11 minutes ago, TommyGavin said:

She was a four eyed geek. I have no idea who her eyes looked like. But her ballon knot winked at me. 

At least you saw one of her eyes, the brown one  

[cyclone24 1,935]

Ooh. Jeni. 
She had just divorced and went out and got new . So along i come and you have to massage them bc fake are pretty hard at first…so that was a fun job. 
Took her to a football game once and she blew me in the Family Dentistry building at University of Iowa at halftime. Such a sweet girl. Would do anything. Lol. 

[Cloaca du jour 2,157]

Had one met online...was a freak to gobble the .  She was crazy and even rimmed me.  Had to break it off when she started asking me to hit her and smack her.  Turned me off.

[Djgb13 2,339]

I still got the sexy pics she sent me saved on my phone but in an app disguised as a calculator along with the rest of my exs sexy pics  

[posty 2,807]

They showered every day...

[shorepatrol 1,871]

Katie. Philthy little girl in highschool. She'd throw a pron on and want to do everything in it. She was down for EVERYTHING. She tried to stab me when I broke up with her. 

[5-Points 3,750]

2 hours ago, Djgb13 said:

I still got the sexy pics she sent me saved on my phone but in an app disguised as a calculator along with the rest of my exs sexy pics  

Link?

[jerryskids 7,062]

Fall of 1988, I'm watching A's/Dodgers world series game 1, I'm a hooge A's fan.  A's go up in the first on a grand slam by McGwire or Canseco, I can't remember.  Game over it seems and my buddies slowly trickle out, but I want to see the end and savor it.  Dodgers claw back to 4-3 and then this happens.

I was, shall we say, a bit despondent, and more than a little drunk.  I went to a party and met some weight-challenged skank who wanted to swoop me into the bathroom for a few minutes.  Sounds perfect, until she starts licking my bunghole.  These days I've come to appreciate a little play around the perineum, but hygiene is key.  At this point I had never done anything like this, and I had not done anything resembling hygiene that evening, and I found the whole thing disgusting.

I turned her around, banged her to completion, and left her there.

[BunnysBastatrds 2,583]

3 hours ago, Djgb13 said:

At least you saw one of her eyes, the brown one  

 He sleeps with one eye open gripping his pillow tight. And having one eye open blocks out the doubles. 

[Djgb13 2,339]

20 minutes ago, 5-Points said:

Link?

Haha sorry it’s hidden on an app on my phone 

[TommyGavin 790]

11 minutes ago, BunnysBastatrds said:

 He sleeps with one eye open gripping his pillow tight. And having one eye open blocks out the doubles. 

No. My wife hates me. But I do grip the pillow tight. 

[shorepatrol 1,871]

45 minutes ago, jerryskids said:

Fall of 1988, I'm watching A's/Dodgers world series game 1, I'm a hooge A's fan.  A's go up in the first on a grand slam by McGwire or Canseco, I can't remember.  Game over it seems and my buddies slowly trickle out, but I want to see the end and savor it.  Dodgers claw back to 4-3 and then this happens.

I was, shall we say, a bit despondent, and more than a little drunk.  I went to a party and met some weight-challenged skank who wanted to swoop me into the bathroom for a few minutes.  Sounds perfect, until she starts licking my bunghole.  These days I've come to appreciate a little play around the perineum, but hygiene is key.  At this point I had never done anything like this, and I had not done anything resembling hygiene that evening, and I found the whole thing disgusting.

I turned her around, banged her to completion, and left her there.

That sounds like a horrifying 45 seconds Skids. 

 

[5-Points 3,750]

45 minutes ago, Djgb13 said:

Haha sorry it’s hidden on an app on my phone 

Un hide it.

[Utilit99 4,099]

7 hours ago, TommyGavin said:

Allison. She was the nerdiest nerd and no one gave her a second look with her four eyes looking back you. 
Then she became known as Anal Alley. 

Your two daughters. Dang. They were competing with each other the whole night when with me. So much so that after I finished with them I felt like I had a rash on every part of my body as well as feeling like I had been given an enema. 

That was some serious treatment they give as a team. 

[phillybear 366]

Well, there were a number of them. They were girls. And covered in dirt. Can't remember many details. Like names, and where I saw them last, detective.

Can you be more specific?

[TommyGavin 790]

13 minutes ago, Utilit99 said:

Your two daughters. Dang. They were competing with each other the whole night when with me. So much so that after I finished with them I felt like I had a rash on every part of my body as well as feeling like I had been given an enema. 

That was some serious treatment they give as a team. 

Good thing I have boys you creep. 

[BeenHereBefore 1,581]

2 hours ago, shorepatrol said:

Katie. Philthy little girl in highschool. She'd throw a pron on and want to do everything in it. She was down for EVERYTHING. She tried to stab me when I broke up with her. 

So that makes you stab worthy.

[jerryskids 7,062]

1 hour ago, shorepatrol said:

That sounds like a horrifying 45 seconds Skids. 

 

That Gibson HR off of Eck scarred me for life. 

Fat chick licking my ass, I recovered fine. 

 

[BunnysBastatrds 2,583]

2 hours ago, phillybear said:

Well, there were a number of them. They were girls. And covered in dirt. Can't remember many details. Like names, and where I saw them last, detective.

Can you be more specific?

 Thought it was”pacific”!

[edjr 6,890]

16 hours ago, Cloaca du jour said:

Had one met online...was a freak to gobble the .

Did she make you retarded too?

[Utilit99 4,099]

11 hours ago, TommyGavin said:

Good thing I have boys you creep. 

Crap. That was your wife and one of her friends or maybe even her sister? 

Damnit. They didn't tell me they were role playing. That's even dirtier. 

[cmh6476 1,115]

i told my girl just this weekend, we was about to get as nasty as a black jelly bean

[JustinCharge 2,397]

i duuno i guess this video goes here. Al Bundy is progressive and believes women should do dirty jobs as well, like appliance repair.

 

 

[BunnysBastatrds 2,583]

 I miss Sticky Vicki. Wettest EVER!

[MikeMatt 355]

On 2/27/2022 at 2:31 PM, TommyGavin said:

I had a sticky Vicky. Had to jump out the back door when her husband came home. We were 18 her husband was in his 40’s. 

I don’t know why I lied. They weren’t married just living together and it was back door - but second level deck !!!