The Walking Dead Season 5

[TimmySmith 2,782]

What the fock is up with the preacher?

 

IMO the preacher is a fake. Never was a priest, just puts on the garb for recognition.

[phillybear 364]

5.14 Spend

 

Motherd!ck!! As I was settling in to watch yet another compelling episode of everybody’s favorite love to hate show, I was thinking about Buttons. Yeah, that dopey horse. How exactly does one go about tearing into a horse hide? That’s some really tough skin. How exactly does a walker with at best broken, unmanicured fingernails dig through such a resistant exterior? Not just one walker. But all of them.

 

Father Gabriel has a tough choice to make. Partake from a fresh bowl of strawberries, or rip his Bible apart like Strong Man competitor toying with a phone book. Remember, back in the day, phone books? They were these ridiculously heavy books that would be thrown out of cars into your driveways that may or may not have brained the family dog. There was no hiding a rock hammer in this Bible for Father Dufresne, as he got rid of any possible hiding spot by systematically tearing the Bible to shreds. I assumed that he was just going to attack the last book in the Bible, Revelations, since it basically covers the end of days. Father Gabriel went much, much further than that. Goes to show, the people who you would think would be the most well adjusted to assimilate into a peaceful community turn out to be the most donkey brains. Still, Gabriel must be happy to have found a new collar after discarding his previous one. Noah noshes on some oatmeal with Reg, who similarly has the exact personality of oatmeal. Noah wants to be an architectural apprentice. Reg says OK, as long as I can call you Art Vandelay. As is often the case on this show, as soon as a character finds hope and makes plans for the future, they get killed. Rick is walking a beat until he suspiciously drops in on Jessie who is examining one of her sculptures. She claims it’s broken; I contend that nobody can tell the difference. Rick wants to find the culprit who turned the scrap metal into scrap metal. I immediately guessed it’s going to be Pete, or somebody with good taste. Not quite. Pete in fact tries to make nice with Rick by offering him a beer and to be friends. Rick turns his head sideways and fantasizes about pulverizing Pete’s skull with the pointy end of a claw hammer. Note: when you see someone in your life tilt their head sideways and leer, you run. If the same person has a claw hammer, you might as well just fall and play dead. Maybe they will saunter over and sniff at you like a bear, and meander away. At least there is a chance. However, if you feel the hammer *thunk* off your skull, definitely run.

 

Daryl leaves with his new bike to recruit. If by recruit, you mean find moonshine cabins and party, sounds good to me. As I’ve asked many times before, why a noisy bike? Yeah, there is some maneuverability to go in between cars in road blocks. But it makes so much noise, it is sure to attract walkers. Are Daryl and Aaron going on separate excursions? Because you can sleep in a car, but Daryl would have to make camp with no one to stand watch if he is truly alone.

 

The oddly assembled scavenger group of Glenn, Noah, Tara, Eugene, Aiden and Nicholas take off to look for parts to repair the power system in Alexandria. It’s a large group with exactly one capable person in Glenn. Aiden and Nicholas proved useless before. Tara seems to always need to be rescued when she is killing walkers, remember after the bus overturned? Eugene is Sir Robin who ran away in instead of pursing the Holy Grail. Noah still has a limp, right? Or has that plot devise of a bad leg suddenly disappear. Jumping Jehosophat!@!# Who put together this Bad Dream Team? These are the five kids that were the last picks in every rec center game. Make that six. I’ll include Glenn too, because the little guy is going last in a basketball pickup. I think Tara could dunk on him. Eugene takes a bit of time to brag to Tara about how much of a coward he is. Yeah, we get it. You are setting up the story so that you emerge as a hero in the end. Why is your nose not broken after the road face plant? When they reach the warehouse, the scavengers find the front of the building infested with walkers. Which begs the question, in an end of the world scenario, who heads to the nearest electronics warehouse to hang out until the end of time? They enter the building, take their sweet time in turning on their flashlights, and lackadasically check for walkers. A large group of walkers are on the other side of some fencing indoors. Now, it’s a sealed off warehouse. Could you not smell the rotting flesh of the walkers? Could you not cover yourself with goo and walk into the warehouse as a preventative measure? Why do the survivors not cover themselves with goo anymore, ever, to mask their smell from walkers? Or use the Michonne technique of toothless, armless escorts? What, you don’t want to dirty up your clothes? Alexandria seems to have laundry, so what is the difference? Which begs the other question, in an end of the world scenario, who heads to the nearest electronics warehouse, and goes inside, to hang out until the end of time? A heavily armored police officers slowly stalks Aiden. Which begs the question…you get the point. Now, maybe it’s not me, put what police officer walks around with grenades hanging willy nilly off the front of his uniform, certainly no one that saw what happened to Tex Cobb from Raising Arizona, who is the biggest bad ass among bad asses, but seriously? Glenn has fought helmeted walkers before, at the prison, so due to his experience, he advises Aiden to stop shooting immediately. Aiden does no such thing because he will win a stuffed green penguin if he manages to hit one of the grenades. Cue the perfunctory explosion. Tara is hurt, Aiden is shish-ka-Bob’d, walkers are on the loose, more mayhem than an Allstate Insurance commercial. The group leaves their safe office nook to try to rescue Aiden, Deanna’s son, who was merely stunned. Norwegian blue, I believe. Which of course makes so little sense it makes more teeth hurt. The walkers follow Glenn, Tara, Eugene, and Nick the d!ck towards the office. Meanwhile, you have fresh kill in Aiden, bleeding more than Carrie on prom night just hanging around in the open. Right there. Ready to be served. Why chase to the office door? Lack of noise from Aiden maybe? They didn’t really go in his direction even after he started moaning. Are walkers picky eaters? Did Aiden reek of failure? It’s not like he had a hipster mustache and was drinking a PBR. Not that I don’t like PBR, but it’s just ironically trendy. Eugene improbably finds some courage and using the power of his head of hair, dead lifts Tara onto his shoulder, and busts out of the warehouse shooting walkers dead where they stood…dead. Yippie-Kay-Yay, Motherd!cks!! To be fair, if Tara died, nobody who is left on the planet will ever talk to Eugene and in essence will be the last man on earth. Suck it, Will Forte. Aiden is impaled and going nowhere fast. What were Glenn and Noah going to accomplish anyway? As soon as you lift him off the skewers, he was going to bleed out in minutes anyway. Why did they use the flare as a decoy to rescue Aiden, and not use the flare to escape after the initial explosion? Why do we always see such turmoil in warehouses? The helicopter on the roof store, the food bank and swimming walkers, this solar current death trap? Get it? Solar. Current. Eh. Nicholas leaves his friend far behind, an emerging Candlebox pattern of Alexandrian citizens. Glenn and Noah give up as Aiden death bed confesses he caused the death of the others on his previous team through panic, but he wants to assure them that it will never, never, never happen again. Aiden promptly gets shredded like a hunk of meat that spent 8 hours in a crock pot, on high. Glenn, Noah and Nicholas end up in different sections of a revolving door, trapped on both sides by walkers. Kind of an Saw interesting scenario. Eugene draws walkers away when he pulls up in a van, playing loud non descript hideous music as a distraction, party at the Moon Tower. Nicholas pushes his way out, panicking again but exposes the others to danger. Noah is ankle grabbed by walkers and torn apart, especially gruesome was the fish hooking of his mouth. Nicholas tries to bully Eugene into leaving his buddies behind. Glenn catches up and mushes Nicholas’ face with his fist. Glenn is leading the Alexandria UFC in knockout wins at the moment. Good thing they are bringing back Nicholas as a witness, because when you come back without the leader’s kid, you better have a good excuse.

 

Now, I think Abraham is from Texas, or thereabouts, as that is roughly the part of the country when he came across Eugene and their quest was born. They sure do have some…um…interesting concepts of cuss words. Oh, at the height of exasperation, anybody can come up with a unique concatenation of unrelated words. But…Motherd!ck…? That is a new combo to me. Abraham is working construction so that Alexandria can exand their borders. The group is attacked by walkers. The crew is ordered to fall back by crew leader Tobin, as their lookout falls from a vehicle and is injured. They mean to leave Francine to die. Abraham goes Neo and attacks a hundred Agent Smiths while muttering “I’ll mace you good!!” Eventually the crew returns to help out. Abraham becomes their leader. Tobin resigns. That happened quick. But Tobin wanted no part of getting in the way of any man ready to go Motherd!ck on walkers. Deanna is worried how quickly members of Rick’s group has assumed so many leadership roles. You put at least half of them in power, remember? Meanwhile, somewhere in Russia and definitely out of sight, Putin is binge watching and taking notes. MotherRussianD!ck.

 

Sam keeps stalking Carol for more cookies. I think diabetes will kill Sam long before any walker, although maybe not as fast as Carol. Carol cuts a deal that if Sam steals more chocolate for her, she will make more horrific applesauce cookies for him. Again, the chocolate is a major plot point down the road, when it is discovered to be missing, which will lead to confrontation. Sam keeps asking prying questions and finally confesses that he “broke” Jessie’s owl sculpture. Broke, fixed, moved some parts around, it’s all in the eye of the beholder. Carol wants to talk to Pete’s family, but is told to hit the bricks. Carol tells Rick that Pete is abusing Jessie and Sam. Look, I get that you want to prevent abuse. But Carol has no evidence, no confession, no accusations, just plain nothing. Did we see a single bruise anywhere? Sure, you can have a hunch. But you need evidence. You know that Rick is nuts. So you go to wind him up some more. Carol plants the idea of killing Pete in Rick’s head. All over a hunch. Carol, the chocolate junkie. This is completely jumping to conclusions. Did Carol do the right thing in immolating a couple of residents of the prison when the flu broke out? Maybe, maybe not, but she jumped to conclusions there. Now, she is setting up the murder of Pete. I need more evidence to convict Pete.

 

Father Gabriel drops by to speak privately with Deanna, warning her not to trust Rick and the new group. Basically calling them Satan and such. Gabriel, Gabriel, snitches get stitches. Look, they rescued you several times. You’d be deader than dead. They found you on top of a rock just out of reach from walkers. They brought you food when you ran out. They fortified your church. Gabriel, your foolishness brought the walkers from the school back to the church. You saw when the Termites tried to murder a baby, a teenager, Michonne, and you, just before Rick’s group got the drop on the Termites. The group is so devoid of compassion that they tried to rescue an injured Bob, injured Tyrese, Beth, even buried all of them to honor them. Took in Noah. Offered to take in anyone else from the hospital. How bad can these savages really be? I mean, it’s not like they locked people out of shelter in a time of need, leaving them to die, right? They leave no man behind. Maggie overhears the conversation. They have a traitor in their midst to deal with. We’ve lost Bob, Tyrese, Beth, and Noah this season. Um, we’re seeing the trend, right? I’m not crazy? I mean, I most certainly am not crazy.

[frank 2,145]

That's not what begs the question means.

[phillybear 364]

That's not what begs the question means.

 

Every time you bring it up, I'm duty bound to double the amount of times I mention it the next time. Do you really want me to be that abusive?

[wiffleball 4,640]

the best way to eat a live horse is the start with the anus.

[wiffleball 4,640]

 

Every time you bring it up, I'm duty bound to double the amount of times I mention it the next time. Do you really want me to be that abusive?

 

that is not what abusive means.

[wiffleball 4,640]

Pete is a porch diick.

[frank 2,145]

Every time you bring it up, I'm duty bound to double the amount of times I mention it the next time. Do you really want me to be that abusive?

That's not what amount means. You should say number.

[phillybear 364]

5.15 Try

 

Seems that some members of our gang is somewhat restless, scratching at the door, wanting to be let out into the outside world to survive again instead of facing relative safety in a milquetoast community of useful idiots. As it was said before on this show, ain’t nothing sadder than an outdoor cat that thinks he is an indoor cat. Daryl is still out in the world; the rest of the group is now visiting the woods outside Alexandria with much more frequency. Which leads to more interesting viewing. I like the rapid jump cuts to so many characters throughout the episode, as I was worried that with such a large group of characters at the moment, it would easy to lose some of them in the shuffle. We didn’t see Abraham, Tara, Eugene, Maggie, Gabriel, Judith in the episode, but we really didn’t miss them. In a strange departure, the show opened with basically a music video montage to a new Nine Inch Nails song. Sure, the song was catchy, but is this just another obvious attempt at product placement and viral marketing to promote a new single from an artist while cross promoting the show to the artist’s fans? It just seemed so strange and out of place. So, they used electricity to play the CD, titled “run mix”, which means that Alexandrians have the ample space and time to go for jogs. Huh. Sasha up in the bell tower comes up with a magical bullet that takes down a walker outside the wall, but the wall is maybe 20 feet high, so my brain pulled a muscle trying to figure out the angle needed to hit the walker. Whoever filmed the shot probably grew up near Dealey Plaza. Or was a fan of Roger McDowell. As Aiden’s family was grieving the death of that dummy, Carol was kind enough not to write down any threats on a blank card and left a tuna casserole by the door. Very good manners in not actually wanting to talk to someone, but a ring and run routine was the way to go. Deanna did the right thing by leaving the casserole behind, because we all know there was a mountain full of applesauce in the dish. Tuna, pasta, and applesauce don’t mix. Enough about the applesauce. Deanna reads Carol’s well wishes and sets in on fire. Good thing Carol didn’t leave a bag of poo by the door. Oh, wait, she did. She calls it a tuna casserole. Guess what Carol, by leaving the concoction untouched outside, Deanna was abusing food. You want Rick to kill her too?

 

Nicholas and Glenn had extremely varying accounts of the deaths of Aiden and Noah. Nicholas also saved the President’s life, ran BeastMode-like for a gaming winning TD in the Superbowl, and is dating Anna Nicole Smith Walker. Problem was that Deanna appears to have just listened to Nicholas’s side of the situation, on video, to share with others. Because, as Congressperson, you never want to hear both sides of an issue before you cast a vote. Glenn told his story to Rick. The problem I had with this conversation was it was at night, on a porch, outdoors. It is common knowledge that even the slightest of soft spoken voices carry a great distance is such atmospheric circumstances in the still of the night, so there was zero thought given to privacy. Sam has been telling abuse stories to Carol, who immediately turns around and tells Rick as much. You know, Carol sure loves using that jump to conclusions mat, but maybe a tiny, itty bitty piece of evidence would have been useful rather than relying on the word of a kid you just met a couple of days ago. But that’s just me. Carol sure does love to instigate, and even more so when she is “invisible”. Rick stares off in the distance at a red balloon, wondering where the other 98 are hiding. Pete comes along and expresses a greeting. Rick stares for a bit and says “Go fock yourself”, although the actual words come out as “move along”. Rick pets his fire arm and says “you’re a nice gun, aren’t you buddy”.

 

Michonne and Rosita chase nuttier than a squirrel turd Sasha into the woods. They have some conversation, but I was rather bored quickly. Something about disappointment and hope and adjustment, I think. Words, words, more words. Rick encounters Deanna at the cemetery. The smart play here is to express your condolences and make is clear that Nicholas is responsible for the entire mess. Rick swims headfirst into the rapids by extolling the virtues of murdering Pete. Deanna is bewildered by the leap to this particular logic. Rick says either Pete stops hitting his wife, which Rick is aware of by conducting a thorough investigation, or maybe he heard it second hand from some kid which is not admissible in an actual court for hearsay which an officer of the law should be perfectly aware of, but Rick says they would need to kill Pete. My first reaction is that Rick would be terrific at motivating people to stop smoking for good. Or maybe he could put that super power into getting Pete to stop drinking so that might stop that other potential issue. Absolutely no time to think about it. Judge, jury, execute, all in the express lane. Kill first, ask questions later. I appreciate how things are now different in this world, but this is just over the top. Carl and Enid go for a run in the woods. They probably should have brought Aiden’s mix CD. Yes, in general, kids are dumb. I had to cringe at the sheer stupidity of hiding in hollow tree to avoid walkers. First, if Eugene can skipwalk and stay ahead of walkers, I would say walking at a normal pace for a normal human being, you’d be able to leave the walkers way behind. The only bad choices to make here are to break your leg, and I’d be willing to wager I can drag myself on the ground faster than a walker could lumber along. Or, hide somewhere that a walker can easily reach inside and tear you apart like a horse. Carl and Enid duck inside a tree, and the walkers simply walk right by them. I get the point, they want to make a romantic situation for Carl and Enid. The situation they put themselves in was ridiculous. For world weary survivors in this world, they sure are dumb. Or, they are thrill seekers and are looking for a high by purposely putting themselves in harm’s way. If in the next episode we find out Carl is cutting himself, I will kick my television to death.

 

Glenn gives Nicholas a speech. I half expected Nicholas to utter some remark about Asians. Yeah, Merle was a riot. I think he’s off in another project, My Name is Merle. Never the less, Glenn has put Nicholas on double secret probation. On my scorecard, that is now one episode in a row where Glenn has not punched anybody. I’d say it would have been one episode since we’ve seen a work accident, but, you know, the fight. Daryl and Aaron go to investigate a light they saw in the dark through the trees. They find severed limbs and stumble upon a woman tied to a tree that was devoured by walkers. There is a “W” carved into her head, which is the new rage with walkers. They are all getting tear drop tattoos and carving “W” into their heads. They’re everywhere. Now, do not overlook that this woman getting eaten is the EXACT scenario that Carol threatened Sam with when Carol was stealing guns. Sure, this is likely a coincidence. But, if I were writing this show, this would be a subtle reveal that Carol is a double agent playing a long con. She got kicked out of the prison by Rick. She met a group called “Wolves” and joined them as a vehicle to get her revenge on Rick and the group. Sure, she rescued the group from Terminus, but that is because she wants the revenge to come by her hand. She shot Lizzie because she was worried she might kill her traveling party, including Carol, in their sleep. Sure, the hospital and getting hit by a car was a set back. She knows how the “Wolves” deal with hostages with the tree thing. She got Rick all wound up and Alexandria is on the verge of a civil war, with Carol pulling the puppet strings. Did anybody else focus in on the smile of pure satisfaction on Carol’s face during Rick’s speech post fight? She did all that. Blood will flow in the streets on the upcoming episode, while Carol sits back and enjoys her revenge, by carving a “W” into Rick’s head and tying Sam to an elm. None of that will happen, but I can dream. That dead woman is a huge coincidence. I had speculated that Enid stole Rick’s gun in a blender, but it turns out Nicholas has it. He will try to and possibly succeed in killing Glenn. I’m more curious how he found it in the first place, as Rick hid it before ever arriving in Alexandria. Was Nicholas on a scavenging run and saw Rick hide it? It’s the same gun, since the letter “J” was prominently on the handle.

 

Sasha is running around in the woods, wasting precious bullets. Michonne and Rosita catch up with Sasha and we get to watch a preview of Charlie’s Angels 3. I was racking my brains to think if we had any other scenes of just women fighting the walkers, and I think it might have been Andrea and Michonne prior to arriving at Woodbury. Sasha protests against getting help from the other ladies. More than that, I think it set up Michonne’s mind set as to what may happen to the rest of the group when they start sliding into the deep end as Sasha has done, motivating her actions later on in hitting Rick. Sasha is trying to exact revenge on the world one walker at a time after experiencing a series of deaths to people she cared about in such a short amount of time. She is wasting bullets. How much ammo could they possibly have?

 

Rick invades Jessie’s garage, well she calls it a work studio I suppose. He leaves, comes back a minute later by barging into the house uninvited. He explains in very intense words that Pete is not a nice guy so let’s get him good. We’ll kill him and then the jokes on him. At no point in the conversation was divorce brought up. How about some counseling? Zero to 60, death. I love it. Why does Rick keep saying Pete is going to kill Jessie? He is not Tom Cruise reading the thoughts of some psychics in the future world trying to prevent crime. For a brief moment, in between tears, Jessie points out to Rick “What are you doing? I’m married!” Somebody said it. I’m not taking crazy pills. Pete walks into his living room in his house and sees Jessie and Rick about to kiss. Maybe he’s drunk. Alcohol doesn’t make you bad person. But Rick had been a d!ck to Pete the other day, “move along”, so Pete has no reason to like Rick. I think the writers needed to have Pete throw the first punch so that they can justify Rick killing him sometime soon. A wild melee breaks out with heads thrown into walls, tossing a Pete through a window, eye gouges that somehow didn’t result in a smushed skull, chokeholds, collateral damage as Jessie and Carl get tossed aside, and through out the entire scuffle, Rick did not once, not once, utter that magical word that would have been so perfect. “CLAIM”. That’s all you have to do in this wild and wacky world. Claim Jessie. Done deal. Right? Did Rick learn nothing from Claimer Joe. Just “CLAIM” Alexandria already and be done with it. As I’m rooting for Pete to kick Rick’s ass, because it’s lazy to cheer for the “hero”, Sasha is lining up to shoot a wall full of walkers from her perch in the tower as little imaginary tweeting birds are circling her head. What exactly happens to the walkers that they kill outside the wall? They don’t just leave them there to rot and decompose, right? They have to remove them or something. Burn them? They never really tell us. Rick Grimes then gives the speech of his lifetime while waving a gun around. Far surpassing any craziness that would have come from the mouth of Shane. Here’s…..Ricky. The Shaning. Deanna threatens to exile Rick. Rick gives a facsimile of the Taxi Driver speech, you talking to me? Rick is incredulous that Deanna is enabling a rumored abuser. Well, he is the doctor, so let’s just say it’s a gray area. Deanna, look at me, look at me, I’m the Captain no…Michonne hits Rick in the back of the head and those little imaginary tweeting birds have migrated from the bell tower. I’m glad the show took the time to make a public service announcement about the dangers of the donkey punch. Michonne knocked out Rick to keep him from getting the entire group thrown out of Alexandria. So much for trying to fit in.

[tanatastic 2,061]

Phillyghey, whatever your doing...please stop.

 

So on a whim I decided to read every single one of the so far 138 issues of the walking dead comic (the show was adapted from a comic book series.). The comic is better than the show. Better pacing, more exciting, just great all around. The show really does a great job of using plots and characters tho. There are differences but I like seeing the characters Iv been watching. It's a ways ahead of the show so Iv also pretty much spoiled myself on the major upcoming plot points, but it was worth it.

[IGotWorms 3,315]

Comic books are ghey.

 

Also these last few episodes have kinda sucked. Yeah we know there's going to be an us vs them battle coming - get on with it. Enough of the terrible acting already.

 

It was interesting though that michonne turned on Rick. Yeah ol' Rick has gone a little batty but that's still your leader

[phillybear 364]

Phillyghey, whatever your doing...please stop.

 

Your complaint has been noted. And set on fire.

[mighty_thor 115]

Comic books are ghey.

 

Also these last few episodes have kinda sucked. Yeah we know there's going to be an us vs them battle coming - get on with it. Enough of the terrible acting already.

 

It was interesting though that michonne turned on Rick. Yeah ol' Rick has gone a little batty but that's still your leader

I thought the last couple of episodes have been pretty good.

[IGotWorms 3,315]

I thought the last couple of episodes have been pretty good.

Really? Maybe I'm just getting too cynical

[DonS 3,067]

5.15 Try

 

In a strange departure, the show opened with basically a music video montage to a new Nine Inch Nails song. Sure, the song was catchy, but is this just another obvious attempt at product placement and viral marketing to promote a new single from an artist while cross promoting the show to the artist’s fans? It just seemed so strange and out of place.

 

Except it wasn't a new NIN song. "Somewhat Damaged" came out in 1999 on The Fragile. The lyrics tie in pretty well with this episode, though they turned it off before the refrain of "Too focked up to care anymore".

[Saint Elistan 106]

Comic books are ghey.

 

Also these last few episodes have kinda sucked. Yeah we know there's going to be an us vs them battle coming - get on with it. Enough of the terrible acting already.

 

It was interesting though that michonne turned on Rick. Yeah ol' Rick has gone a little batty but that's still your leader

 

She didn't really turn on him...that was basically the only way for their group to get out of that situation in one piece.

 

I think that her little spree in the woods means that Michonne came back to reality.

[phillybear 364]

 

Except it wasn't a new NIN song. "Somewhat Damaged" came out in 1999 on The Fragile. The lyrics tie in pretty well with this episode, though they turned it off before the refrain of "Too focked up to care anymore".

 

D'oh.

 

More embarrassingly, I was a fan of the band back when I still listened to music.

[IGotWorms 3,315]

 

She didn't really turn on him...that was basically the only way for their group to get out of that situation in one piece.

 

I think that her little spree in the woods means that Michonne came back to reality.

The Hispanic chick, who isn't even hot anymore...wtf?, was putting a bug in michonne's ear about sticking with the civilization thing.

 

But you're probably right

[Magnificent Bastard 190]

The Hispanic chick, who isn't even hot anymore...wtf?, was putting a bug in michonne's ear about sticking with the civilization thing.

 

But you're probably right

 

 

 

You're a a Racist.

[shotsup 832]

The Hispanic chick, who isn't even hot anymore...wtf?, was putting a bug in michonne's ear about sticking with the civilization thing.

 

But you're probably right

That was Rosita ?? WtF happened ?

 

I thought it was Not hot Tara in the woods.

[parrot 789]

I have no idea why I'm still watching this. None. After every episode I think "That sucked." But then, there I am next week, watching again. Only to be disappointed again. Is this what it's like to be a Jets fan?

[edjr 5,567]

I have no idea why I'm still watching this. None. After every episode I think "That sucked." But then, there I am next week, watching again. Only to be disappointed again. Is this what it's like to be a Jets fan?

 

[CantTouchThis 23]

Last episode features Knife Party, and this episode features NIN. They have great taste in music

[Saint Elistan 106]

You're a a Racist.

 

Is it a stereotype if it's always true? Hispanic women never keep their looks.

[gocolts 300]

Last episode of the season coming up. Saw an interview on some morning show with Norman Reedus a couple weeks back and the reporter asked him what to expect in the season finale. He said "Get your tissues ready and get ready to scream at your television."

 

This season has been a let down, so this last one better be good.

[tanatastic 2,061]

Last episode of the season coming up. Saw an interview on some morning show with Norman Reedus a couple weeks back and the reporter asked him what to expect in the season finale. He said "Get your tissues ready and get ready to scream at your television."

 

This season has been a let down, so this last one better be good.

All the talk of an epic finale was a bit of a letdown. I mean, decent episode, but nothing unpredictable or dramatic concerning our main group. Pretty much this last episodes storylines should have been concluded within the last few episodes and we could've gotten a better finale. I won't spoil it, but the Alexandria arc is far from finished, they dragged the season out and barely scratched the surface of the storylines we should see next season.

 

I'll say the season overall was good, but the 2nd half was worse than the 1st.

[Magnificent Bastard 190]

Ok, spring training is over, now the real GAME is about to begin. The trailers look awesome.

[parrot 789]

Thought for sure Gabriel would die. Aren't they over their black guy quota with Morgan back in the picture?

[IGotWorms 3,315]

All the talk of an epic finale was a bit of a letdown. I mean, decent episode, but nothing unpredictable or dramatic concerning our main group. Pretty much this last episodes storylines should have been concluded within the last few episodes and we could've gotten a better finale. I won't spoil it, but the Alexandria arc is far from finished, they dragged the season out and barely scratched the surface of the storylines we should see next season.

 

I'll say the season overall was good, but the 2nd half was worse than the 1st.

Second half kinda sucked. Finale was decent but otherwise pretty lame.

 

Except Carrol. She was focking awesome

[phillybear 364]

5.16 Conquer

All in all, I could have been watching WrestleMania. Instead, we received a better than average extended episode that kind of just sat there. We’ve had good season finales. And poor ones. I think what was lacking was there was no tangible villainous evil antagonist. No Governor. No cannibal cult. It was more of a struggle within the main characters as they went through inner turmoil of deciding whether to go ahead and kill who they were face to face with, or allow them to live. As the title of episode may allude to, the characters were in a sense conquering the preconceived notions of the Alexandrians as what they really were, savages instead of people. And then there was the conquering of Alexandria as far as mindset, leadership and future direction. Morgan said, every life is precious. Morgan allows the Wolves to live. Sasha allowed Gabriel, Glenn with Nicholas, Gabriel allowed himself to live, Carol and Pete, Aaron in the car with Daryl, and Rick with Pete (until Deanna changed Rick’s mind). The show has also morphed from The Walking Dead to The Weekly Speech which seems to be the extreme fulcrum of each episode. This week was no exception, as we were made witness to the single greatest speech in entertainment history. Among the all time greats. “I’m mad as Hell and I’m not going to take this anymore.” “How do you like them apples?” Ladies and gentleman, may I present the instant classic: “Simply put, there is a vast ocean of sh!t that you people don’t know sh!t about. Rick knows every fine grain of said sh!t. And then some.” I couldn’t have said it any more perfectly as a single tear rolled down my face and sighed. People are starting to mumble that Rick could be in the running for an Emmy. I doubt it. I would endorse Mellissa McBride as Carol for Supporting Actress in a Drama series myself. Back on point, when Abraham orates about grains of sh!t, it’s like angels trumpeting dulcet tones from the highest of highs. Ultimately, I wouldn’t categorize the season 5 finale as boring, as it did just enough to keep my interest and I didn’t look at the time remaining of the episode more than 3 or 4 times. Was I disappointed in the lack of deaths? Of course. Nobody from the main group died despite constant teasing. We lost Bob, Beth, Tyrese, and Noah this season, but I think I’ll miss Gareth most of all. I suppose that we will be spending a lot more time in Alexandria next season, which is a bummer. I like new scenery and meeting new characters. The cast at the moment is rather sizable with the addition of the town of Alexandria, so there should be concern that we have too many characters and not enough episode time to make them all active and interesting. Think about the storylines of the overcrowded prison at the start of Season 4. Now, in a departure from the typical, I’ll just throw out some random thoughts…

I thought the most crucial part of the episode was discovering who the Wolves are and how they were able to overthrow Shirewilt, the home of Noah. Morgan carved up a healthy chunk of screen time to start and seems like a character that will fit in very nicely with our main cast. In a previous narrative, I had been facetious in suggesting that walkers were mutilating themselves by carving “W” into their foreheads, but it turns out these partially insane humans had actually done just that very thing, carving the “W” into their own foreheads, and into the walkers as well as an identifying tag, a branding if you will since they are treating their walkers like a herd of infectious weaponized cattle. The real Mad Cow Disease. The lone wolf explained to Morgan that there was some type of hunting game from the very early settlement days in this part of the world, speculatively I’d say one of them may have been Roanoke, also known as the Lost Colony at the end of the 1500’s. Apparently, some settlers were branded with “W” and hunted for sport in the woods. They even incoporated the native inhabitants to join in the hunt. The present day post apocalyptic Wolves are turning the tables and they are now the hunters with their proudly displayed W’s. I’d suggest adding a “2” after the “W” and then go around calling themselves the IRS, which is far more intimidating. Ultimately, The Wolves are marauders who are robbing supplies away from other survivors, then killing them. Morgan shows off mad ninja skills and carries a big stick. He defeats the Wolves but does not terminate them, leaving the men to fend for themselves in his wake.

Elsewhere, about 50 miles outside the walls of Alexandria, which would put them roughly equidistant between Shirewilt and Alexandria, Daryl and Aaron are busy tracking other possible survivors. They spot one in a red poncho and attempt to observe him. Plenty of symbolism abounds. Since this episode has fully substantiated the Wolves, note the red poncho as homage to Little Red Riding Hood, the heroine of a tale starring a wicked wolf. One can further extrapolate that the final pairing of Morgan, Daryl, and Aaron are the three little pigs, once again the heroes in a tale involving a wicked wolf. Aaron and Daryl lose track of the Little Red Riding Hood and shift gears, instead try to gather supplies in a food warehouse parking lot full of tractor trailers. It’s bothersome that despite being an expert tracker and trapper, Daryl seems to hesitate in scavenging a bit, then plunges recklessly into the task of opening the trailer up. He could have at least put his ear up to the door and listened for a spell. Or maybe noticed the intricate string network connecting each truck door to one another. Aaron has a mystifying yet extremely annoying hobby of collecting license plates. I’d really enjoy watching him trying to remove a plate from the back of a Suge Knight vehicle. Hundreds of walkers are unleashed like participants at a Halloween rave chasing the only two guys with bottled water. It’s not enough that Daryl rides a motorcycle. He now is able to whip a chain around and brain three walkers at a time. Daryl is The Ghost Rider. When trapped in a vehicle, I’d consider rolling a window down a smidge and try poking a few walkers in the skull with your blade to improve your odds of escape by thinning the herd. Unfortunately, I suppose these new fangled cars nowadays force you to turn on the power of the car first, so cars are pretty much useless. It has been maybe 2 years in this world. I’ve read that gasoline would no longer be useable after this much time sitting in a tank of a car. But everybody is driving around willy nilly. It’s another logical error we need to accept. Morgan shows up to save the day for Aaron and Daryl. Morgan shows Daryl the map that Abraham left for Rick in Gabriel’s church. However, I call shenanigans. I have no reason to think that Morgan is traveling any other way but by foot. That’s how he was tracking Rick’s group. He was sleeping in a totaled car as protection, not a source of transport. Rick’s group just drove up to Alexandria, 500+ miles away, from Georgia to Virginia, just a couple of days ago at most. How the f0ck did Morgan get here so fast? That’s a month of walking through walker territory I’d reckon. Well, it is a show about zombies, so suspending belief must be a prerequisite. Morgan joins Daryl and Aaron on the trip to Alexandria, and arrives just in time to see Rick execute Pete in cold blood. While Morgan sees every life as precious, Rick believes murder is how you get a date. So this sets up some conflict for next season. Which I think is just fine. Rick is now in a domineering position with few candidates that seem capable in challenging his authority. We’ve seen Michonne, Glenn, Daryl, Abraham question Rick from time to time this season, but when it came down to it, they acquiesced rather quickly when they were given orders. Pete was not a good guy at all. I thought, more importantly, he did represent a challenge to Rick’s authority in that he was not taking any guff and did in fact fight Rick to a standoff. His pound of flesh was being summarily executed. Deanna represented the old guard authority, which Rick has now usurped due to the sudden deaths of Deanna’s son and husband, leaving her numb with a touch of blood lust for revenge. It’s likely her metamorphosis is complete, or at the very least, in progress. Morgan may be one of the few that have any semblance of a chance of keeping Rick from unhinging so much that he implodes in spectacular fashion. In the post credits, the Wolves bring the captured Little Red Riding Hood back to the food warehouse and add him to the walker army. There is no Huntsman to save the day. The Wolves showcase the method of herding the walkers back into the trailers with music and flashing lights. While I don’t know if there are more than 2 Wolves, and I would strongly suspect at least a few more members, please remember how the back wall was smashed in Shirewilt and a few walkers were wandering around town. Bingo. The Wolves drive a tractor trailer in reverse, smash through the wall, open the trailer door, unleash the walkers inside. During the mayhem, the Wolves pillage, plunder, and spray paint. When they are finished, they return to the trailer, turn on music and flashing lights, and reassemble their walker army, gathering up as many as they can, and return to their warehouse lair. The Wolves have weaponized the walkers to their advantage, which is quite clever. Very similar to when Carol weaponized a walker to kill Gareth’s mother at Terminus. In the forthcoming Season 6, the expectation is that since the Wolves found Aaron’s backpack and photographs in the car at the warehouse, they have come to the realization that an Alexandria community exits. Full of wonderful supplies and plenty of walls to spray paint. The Wolves will eventually attack Alexandria with their walker minions, in Despicable 3: Electric Boogaloo.

Rick wakes up from a medically induced coma/beatdown to learn of Pete and Jessie’s separation and the upcoming town hall meeting. The wheels start turning slowly, the planks of a water mill at low tide. Rick plans to defend his stance and philosophy of killing first, asking questions never, but sets up a contingency plan to overthrow the Alexandrian government at knife point. It’s a bad plan, but that’s what makes Rick, Rick. Rick visits Jessie to humble brag about how he kicked Pete’s ass and take a head held high victory lap at the Westminster Kennel Club. Rick later levels with Michonne about the deceptions, the guns, and everything in order to get a gauge on where Michonne’s loyalty lays, since she is the one the brained him with a rock yesterday. Carol barges into Pete’s new digs to bring him a gluttonous, culinary concoction and to put a blade to his throat. Carol is a seriously intimidating character and the actress playing her has done an amazing job this entire season at being coy and seemingly insignificant in ugly sweaters yet maintaining a cauldron of bubbling rage within. Very tense scene before and after Pete fills his socks up with pee. After Carol leaves, Pete tosses the casserole to the floor. While this may not quell his desire to punch somebody, Carol’s casseroles may have the density of tungsten and could put up a fight. Nevertheless, it’s abuse of food. Pete better hide from the wrath of Carol. Without hesitation, Pete sulkily lumbers into another room to throw sh!t around. “This isn’t my house”..with a beautiful wife, and you may ask yourself, well… how did I get here?...letting the days go by…once in a lifetime…

Aside from giving a rousing, inspiring, rally the troops to run through a wall for you type of speech, Abraham reconnected with Eugene as both apologized in cringe inducing fashion. It’s amazing how Eugene can sound so pompous even when baring his soul. Abraham apologized for the whole trying to kill Eugene prank. Thank God, no hugs. Rosita dropped a platter. Luckily, Carol was not around. A week after speculating what happened to the walkers that the Alexandrian citizens kill all along the watchtower/wall, the show absolutely answered the question and slaked my thirst for this knowledge. Bring out your dead. The walking dead are gathered and stacked on a platform, transported to a mass grave, and buried. Sasha is completely insane as she decides the most comfortable place to take a nap, a dirt nap in fact, is to lay down with the corpses in the hole. So, to answer my original query, the bodies are disposed of by converting them into mattresses and pillows for the people who are nuts. Nicholas lures Glenn outside the walls even though both are grounded and not allowed to leave. There was absolutely no reason for Glenn to follow, none whatsoever, and for that lack of perception Glenn gets shot in the shoulder. Glenn has a death wish as his character is in constant peril every single episode. They proceed to brawl their way through a ladder, tables and chairs match in the woods for hours. Nicholas shows far more passion in fighting right now than he ever did in fighting walkers or trying to save people on the scavenging team. In the end, Glenn has a chance to put a bullet in Nicholas’s skull, but doesn’t. They end up hoofing it back towards Alexandria in a three legged race. I guess once you brawl with someone in the school yard, you really can become friends afterward.

Father Gabriel took a really dark road. First, he puts on white garb symbolically and tries to commit death by letting a walker bite him. It’s an odd decision since suicide is a mortal sin in the Catholic religion, a definite faux pas for a priest. Maybe it was the noose around the walker’s neck that reminded him of this belief. Gabriel can’t go through with it. The most disconcerting part of this scene was the walker that was eating another walker in the road. That did not look like fresh kill. I thought walkers could only eat fresh meat, not other walkers. Don’t we have rules about walkers that need to be universal. Random thought: once a walker falls over, can it gather itself to stand up again, or is it doomed to crawl for eternity? After two years, I’m shocked more walkers haven’t tripped. After returning from a failed mission, Gabriel is tasked with closing the fence gate, which he is also unable to complete with his ever present preoccupation with feeling sorry for himself. Gabriel is a catalyst for destructive behavior all around him in every thing he does. Sasha seeks Gabriel’s help, which works out as well as you can expect. Sasha is feeling suicidal; Gabriel throws gasoline on the fire and tells her she is to blame for everything that has gone wrong, including Bob’s death. Now, as we pass the collection plate, I hope you will be generous. As Sasha is about to kill Gabriel, Maggie shows up. Gabriel ends up confessing his sins but it’s hard to imagine he will ever be anything other than the least popular character on the show. So he’ll be around for a while.

Of course, the gate being left open by Gabriel was a major problem and ultimately the solution to everything. Rick is the only one who discovers the breach, because the Alexandrians still haven’t figure out that you need sentries, but we have no way of knowing how many walkers have danced their way inside under the limbo stick. We see walker droplets of goo on the ground to indicate some had snuck inside and more goo scraped up on the metal. Remember the van flipping off the bridge in a major gaffe in filming. Well, Rick runs off like Paul Revere in broad daylight. The town hall meeting, where everybody is in attendance, is bathed in midnight darkness. Cut to Rick killing walkers in midnight darkness. It was really nice of Rick to spend the last 6 hours after discovering walkers are inside to do absolutely nothing but sit around and wait until darkness. I understand that filming schedules are tight, but this was distractingly bad, completely taking me out of the show for some time, almost to the very end. Rick very sloppily kills a few walkers while managing to cover every inch of himself with rotten guts and fluids. When it comes time to make a speech, Rich needs to appear as disheveled and toxic as possible. In this situation, a couple of dozen bandaids on a face just won’t do. Besides, when you squeeze a walker’s head like a zit, aren’t you expectinig some leakage? Then ever so slowly inserting a knife through a walkers skull, Rick was just having way too much pleasure disposing of the invaders. In a semi-spoof of Eugene rescuing Tara, Rick arrives with a walker slung over his shoulder to interrupt criminal proceedings against him. It was a real kangaroo court of Judge Judy listening to people talking, but not listening, looking with derision and scorn at everybody that spoke. Like a politician would do. Deanna introduces Gabriel’s hearsay words of warning about Rick’s group. Never mind that Gabriel has gone bananers at the moment. At the penultimate moment, Deanna brags that she has erased all emails on her server and what are you going to do about it, arrest me? Hahaha!! After Rick crashes the party, Pete crashes the party. Pete figured all parties have booze. In his zeal to attack Rick, Pete kills the intervening Reg. In Alexandria, everybody seems to be brittle. As Reg was bleeding out, Deanna turns and tells Rick to do it. Rick turns to Jessie and smiles. No, you fool. Stop picturing her naked. Do the other thing. I thought some consideration should have been given to putting a bullet into Reg’s head before he reanimated. Another truism, if you have any medical training whatsoever on this show, you will die. The only exception is that one doctor at Grady Hospital that tricked Beth into killing the other doctor. Everybody else he have met with medical ability is dead. The folks at the CDC. Hershel. Milton. The other medical guy at the Prison. Bob. Pete. As Pete was getting stiffer, I imagine that Carol went over to Sam’s house and asked the young lad, “Sam, who has two parents and loves my cookies?” “Me!!” “Not so fast, kid.”

[parrot 789]

Second half kinda sucked. Finale was decent but otherwise pretty lame.

 

Except Carrol. She was focking awesome

 

I shouldn't watch shows like The Americans if I'm going to continue watching TWD. It just makes it almost painful how bad it really is.

[IGotWorms 3,315]

 

I shouldn't watch shows like The Americans if I'm going to continue watching TWD. It just makes it almost painful how bad it really is.

The acting is mostly atrocious and the story lines get tedious at times. But it still has its virtues

[edjr 5,567]

The acting is mostly atrocious

 

it really is.

[parrot 789]

The acting is mostly atrocious and the story lines get tedious at times. But it still has its virtues

 

Honestly it has entered "it's so bad it's good" territory for me at this point. They've dumbed us all down so much with the lazy writing that we don't even bat an eye when Glenn just randomly shows up in a scene even though the last time we saw him he was pinned to the ground by a walker and about to get swarmed by others. No explanation, it's just "Hey, there's Glenn." It's so focking bad.

[edjr 5,567]

How about Rick is running in the day light and next thing you know, it's dark everywhere

 

They aren't even trying anymore

[parrot 789]

How about Rick is running in the day light and next thing you know, it's dark everywhere

 

They aren't even trying anymore

[Kopy 491]

As long as you take it for what it is. (A comic book zombie show). And just watch it for an hour of entertainment.

Then it's a great show to have a couple beers watching to end up your weekend before you go back to your crappy work week.

If you disect it, it's gonna suck.

 

My question is. How long can it sustain it's numbers? We got the spinoff coming this summer. Znation will be back for season 2. Over saturation of the zombie product could be the killer. And not the crappy acting or the plot holes.

If AMC was smarter. They'd go from a 16 episode show to a 18 episode show, and double it's budget. Not make a spinoff. They could potentially kill their own product.

[edjr 5,567]

 

My chick was like WHAT THE FOCK! It was just light out! They cut to the meeting and it's dark. I say, don't worry, when they cut back to Rick it will be light out. How dumb of me to think they gave a sh1t about night and day

[edjr 5,567]

 

Honestly it has entered "it's so bad it's good" territory for me at this point. They've dumbed us all down so much with the lazy writing that we don't even bat an eye when Glenn just randomly shows up in a scene even though the last time we saw him he was pinned to the ground by a walker and about to get swarmed by others. No explanation, it's just "Hey, there's Glenn." It's so focking bad.

He had a pair of chop sticks in his pocket, he stabbed them all in the eye.

[parrot 789]

Here's what pisses me off; NOTHING about the show is realistic, not the zombies, not the characters, not the situations they find themselves, or how they end up being resolved. Fine, we're all good with that, it's all in fun. Then WHY can't we keep the hot chicks looking hot?! Did we really need to take away Rosita's Daisy Dukes and turn her into Tara's doppelganger?! I say NO Goddammit! It's like the one dose or reality they need to interject is frumpying up the Rositas and Maggies, like that will make the rest of stupidity any less unbelievable!