I'm hurtin

[cmh6476 847]

i thought maybe if I came here and just typed something it would make me feel better.

 

we laid my dad in the ground today. Taking my daughter up to the casket and watching her kiss her pa-pa knowing that he will not physically be here to watch her grow up is just eating away at me. I feel lost, like a zombie, deer in headlights type words.

 

He's buried out by my brother, and the only thing comforting is that I know he is with my brother once again, and I just know my dad, grandpa and brother are all out fishin and catchin up on times lost!

 

Why was I the one that was chosen for this path? Why did God pick me to have to go through all these tough times.

 

The only thing that makes me feel better is my little girl, and if it wasn't for her I just don't know what I'd do right now.

 

 

sorry for that

[SUXBNME 1,413]

Why was I the one that was chosen for this path? Why did God pick me to have to go through all these tough times.

 

The only thing that makes me feel better is my little girl, and if it wasn't for her I just don't know what I'd do right now.

sorry for that

 

You just anwsered your own question.

 

To be there for your daughter

 

Hope it gets better for you sooner than later.

[Strike 4,433]

Sorry to hear man. Just give it some time. It won't completely heal but will get bettter.

[Rusty Syringes 478]

And your wife. You've got that to be thankful for.

 

[mobb_deep 919]

God doesn't have it out for you. It's just natural selection man. Science doesn't differentiate between the good and the bad. It just proves that god isn't responsible for either.

 

Just keep your head up knowing you need to be strong for your daughter. Atleast she got to know your father and everytime you look at her you're looking at a little bit of your father.

 

Time heals all my friend.

[stop talking cheerleader 0]

Hang in there. Sometimes it's hard to understand why we get put through such pain and such horrible circumstances. It's hard to say everything happens for a reason when it comes to your loved ones passing away, because there is nothing that important that we learn from this...except to never take loved-ones for granted and always appreciate what you have...because somewhere in the world someone has less and may have no one to love. You are blessed with a beautiful wife and a precious baby girl. Your a husband and a dad, and your family is looking down on you extending the love you've always showed them, and proud of you and the family you've made. T & P to you

[Greedo 13]

When you stop asking why (unanswerable) and start thinking about what to do now, you'll be on your way. Good luck with your journey.

[dolfan06 1]

Not to be insensitive cmh, but you have too much going for you to be asking why things are so hard for you.

[JasperisOK 0]

You just anwsered your own question.

 

To be there for your daughter

 

Hope it gets better for you sooner than later.

 

We don't always know the answers, but this may very well be your answer. Hang in there friend. Love that wife and daughter of yours. Keep making them all proud.

[redtodd 7]

I almost text messaged you yesterday to give you crap on the Chiefs. I had forgotton about your loss. I am glad I didn't.

 

My thoughts are with you and your family.

[DuckStupid 40]

I got nothin, hang in there.

[sawilson 1]

When you stop asking why (unanswerable) and start thinking about what to do now, you'll be on your way. Good luck with your journey.

You definitely need to give yourself time to grief, don't deny yourself of that natural human instinct. But make sure you don't live in the grief forever, it won't bring your dad back. And like many have said before me, you have a wonderful family that you need to be there for who needs your love and support.

 

Also be thankful that your daughter did have an opportunity to meet your dad as many children out there never get to know thier grandparents.

 

T&P - give yourself the time that you need, but remember what you still have to live and be happy for. If you ever forget, go give your wife and your little one a hug and it will quickly come back!

[Mephisto 15]

The Chiefs did look terrible. They suck. And Trent Green is a tissue-head.

[Carrie 0]

[donhaas 18]

 

[Chronic Husker 85]

Hang in there. Sometimes it's hard to understand why we get put through such pain and such horrible circumstances. It's hard to say everything happens for a reason when it comes to your loved ones passing away, because there is nothing that important that we learn from this...except to never take loved-ones for granted and always appreciate what you have...because somewhere in the world someone has less and may have no one to love. You are blessed with a beautiful wife and a precious baby girl. Your a husband and a dad, and your family is looking down on you extending the love you've always showed them, and proud of you and the family you've made. T & P to you

Damn Linz, where'd you cut and paste that from?

 

My sentiments exactly.

 

cmh, I take it you got my email.

 

You're tough. Hang in there.

 

The Chiefs did look terrible. They suck. And Trent Green is a tissue-head.

Doesn't that dumb bitch you live with have some kind of PTSD you should be tending to?

[Cdub100 3,607]

I lost most of my family when I was young. So I have no idea what your going through.

 

All I can say is when I'm going through hard time I like to remind myself I'm not the only one this has happened to. Everyone will lose their parents at some point. You are no different and you will get through this a better man.

 

Stay strong be there for your family and don't let this take you away from them.

 

You have my #

[Guest Davaco]

god has a big calendar in the sky with everyones name on it. it was just their day and time to pass. this is why you must live life to the fullest.

 

fullest meaning 10 hours of on-line poker and message boards per day.

[nobody 2,303]

Sorry, cmh, we aren't sending you any money.

[Patriotsfatboy1 1,432]

Losing a loved one is something that you will never get over. However, time passes and life moves on. When my FIL died a couple of years ago, it was very hard on my wife and my oldest son. But time has a way of healing those wounds.

 

I would think that you would want to think about what your Dad would want right now. Would he want you feeling sorry for yourself and getting overly caught up in his death? I know that I would want my kids and my family to raise a quick toast each year to remember me, but not to get overly sad or melodramatic about my death.

 

Chin up.

[Brown Eyed Girl 1]

CMH... Hang in there.

 

I know no words can make this hurt go away for you and the words "Be Strong" are much easier said than done.

 

Time is the only thing that will make the hurt a little less. Be sure to keep close in your heart all of the wonderful memories you shared with your Dad. Hold them close and never let them fade away. Your Dad, Grandfather and Brother are all looking over you. Take what you've learned from each of them and use it to be the best father, husband and man you can be. If you can do that, I'm sure they'll all 3 be proud of you.

 

So very sorry for your loss.

[Q.Lazzarus 0]

Mojo sent cmh. Hang in there.

[Chronic Husker 85]

Sorry, cmh, we aren't sending you any money.

Weak.

[jets24 6]

Hang in there CMH. You will one day know the answers to all of your questions. Until then, live life to the fullest. Enjoy your daughter.

[Odie 0]

Sorry, cmh, we aren't sending you any money.

 

 

 

 

CMH... like one poster said before, you answered your own question in your post. Your here to show your daughter the way, much like im sure your father showed you. And your father and brother will live on through you now.

 

I cant imagine what your going thru dude, and I dont know ya from a hole in the wall, but my thoughts and prayers are with you.

[Guest Black Label Society]

CMH....I have a buddy, who always lacked direction in his life...kind of just lived life day to day.

I love him like a brother.

 

About 10 years ago, he got engaged (shocker for all of us) to a very sweet woman.

He asked me to be his best man, I accepted. The night before the wedding we all (buddy, myself and his soon to be FIL...who was a GREAT guy)sat outside and drank beers, talked life, looked at the stars.

 

I remember walking away thinking...wow that guy is as nice as they get. Christian, raisesd a 23 virgin daughter, etc (please don't turn this into THAT discusssion).

 

They got married the next day...and they promptly left for their honeymoon.

 

That night his FIL died in his sleep.

 

I always wondered why God would take away such a wonderful man from his new bride daughter on her happiest night....

 

Since then, my buddy has put every effort into taking care of her, and they truly have a relationship that almost anyone would be envious of.

 

point is toofy.....first off...I'm sorry for your loss. My heart is with you. It really is.

Maybe you will learn something about yourself you always knew, yet never saw???

 

This kind of thing can be life changing....grieve......cry, if you must. All of that is OK man.

But look inside for answers....not here.

 

Best wishes man.

[sawilson 1]

CMH....I have a buddy, who always lacked direction in his life...kind of just lived life day to day.

I love him like a brother.

 

About 10 years ago, he got engaged (shocker for all of us) to a very sweet woman.

He asked me to be his best man, I accepted. The night before the wedding we all (buddy, myself and his soon to be FIL...who was a GREAT guy)sat outside and drank beers, talked life, looked at the stars.

 

I remember walking away thinking...wow that guy is as nice as they get. Christian, raisesd a 23 virgin daughter, etc (please don't turn this into THAT discusssion).

 

They got married the next day...and they promptly left for their honeymoon.

 

That night his FIL died in his sleep.

 

I always wondered why God would take away such a wonderful man from his new bride daughter on her happiest night....

 

Since then, my buddy has put every effort into taking care of her, and they truly have a relationship that almost anyone would be envious of.

 

point is toofy.....first off...I'm sorry for your loss. My heart is with you. It really is.

Maybe you will learn something about yourself you always knew, yet never saw???

 

This kind of thing can be life changing....grieve......cry, if you must. All of that is OK man.

But look inside for answers....not here.

 

Best wishes man.

Wow - very well said!

[Mile High Drunk 13]

Best wishes man.

 

 

 

 

Just remember who you still have with you.

[Guest Black Label Society]

Wow - very well said!

 

I hope he's ok. I can't imagine.

As a person with no 'faith'....I can't even imagine...and I know it's coming.....

[sawilson 1]

I hope he's ok. I can't imagine.

As a person with no 'faith'....I can't even imagine...and I know it's coming.....

From what I can tell, he's a strong guy, he'll be OK, he just doesn't know how yet.

 

The old saying "and this too shall pass" is a load of crap here, because it won't. But it will get easier to wake up every day and not have his father as the first thing that crosses his mind, and he will begin to grieve less and less until one day it doesn't hurt so bad at all and he will begin to focus on the good times instead of the one bad one that is consuming him now.

[Guest Black Label Society]

From what I can tell, he's a strong guy, he'll be OK, he just doesn't know how yet.

 

The old saying "and this too shall pass" is a load of crap here, because it won't. But it will get easier to wake up every day and not have his father as the first thing that crosses his mind, and he will begin to grieve less and less until one day it doesn't hurt so bad at all and he will begin to focus on the good times instead of the one bad one that is consuming him now.

 

IE..Time heals all wounds....

 

 

agreed. but time is the last thing he's got right now. those 2 to 3 weeks it may take to even tolerate that pit in his gut is a lifetime away.

 

As a person who doesn't have 'faith', I have no other place to look but inward.

I've always believed that all answers are inside of yourself. Looking outwards for answers only blurs the image. JMHO.

[nobody 2,303]

Weak.

 

 

Just so we're clear, fuck you and everyone else here.

[sawilson 1]

IE..Time heals all wounds....

agreed. but time is the last thing he's got right now. those 2 to 3 weeks it may take to even tolerate that pit in his gut is a lifetime away.

 

As a person who doesn't have 'faith', I have no other place to look but inward.

I've always believed that all answers are inside of yourself. Looking outwards for answers only blurs the image. JMHO.

I basically agree with this, basically. And I say that because I do have faith, but I also believe that in a time like this you do need to look for inner strength as well as outer. And when I say outer strength, I mean not only any faith you may have, but to be able to lean on those closest to you as well. The worse thing to do at a time like this is to close down completely and not talk about things.

 

But - like you said, to sum it up, Time heals all wounds, mostly.

[Guest Black Label Society]

I basically agree with this, basically. And I say that because I do have faith, but I also believe that in a time like this you do need to look for inner strength as well as outer. And when I say outer strength, I mean not only any faith you may have, but to be able to lean on those closest to you as well. The worse thing to do at a time like this is to close down completely and not talk about things.

 

But - like you said, to sum it up, Time heals all wounds, mostly.

 

No I understand what you mean, but in my life, I've been the only one to rely on.

It's a painful reality, but it is what it is.

 

Not that clsoing down is the answer..I agree.

But for me these times are a time for inner reflection.

Maybe that's not good advice for toofy, but I don't want to hijack this thread.

it's about him.

[sawilson 1]

No I understand what you mean, but in my life, I've been the only one to rely on.

It's a painful reality, but it is what it is.

 

Not that clsoing down is the answer..I agree.

But for me these times are a time for inner reflection.

Maybe that's not good advice for toofy, but I don't want to hijack this thread.

it's about him.

Everyone deals with things like this differently and I really doubt that much of what we say here is going to change the way he does in his life. But it's still nice to have an outlet.

[peenie 1,759]

be glad that you feel pain for losing your father, that you know your father. if my father died it would not hurt as we were not close. i was raised by my mother. i did not know, never met my paternal grandfather. i only met my maternal grandfather twice in my life. be glad you have memories and loving experiences to look back on. be glad your father has left an imprint on your life. be glad you can grieve for him. all i have is a great big hole. (not that one!) you are truly blessed to have had a brother and father to miss.

sympathy and a great big hug.

[TommyGavin 790]

I have nothing to say that already hasn't been said. Good Luck kid, love your family. Come here for laughs. You know it gets (a little) better with time.

[Voltaire 4,782]

Wishing the best for you in your difficult times. The roller coaster of life's ups and downs seems to be spinning, reversing, and changing directions far too quickly and too often in your family.

[Ravens 03 0]

Sorry to hear cmh.

 

 

And I'm almost as old as your Dad.