mobb_deep 920 Posted November 3, 2006 The question: How many 5 year-olds could you take on at once? The specifics: - You are in an enclosed area, roughly the size of a basketball court. There are no foreign objects. - You are not allowed to touch a wall. - When you are knocked unconscious, you lose. When they are all knocked unconscious, they lose. Once a kid is knocked unconscious, that kid is "out." - I (or someone else intent on seeing to it you fail) get to choose the kids from a pool that is twice the size of your magic number. The pool will be 50/50 in terms of gender and will have no discernable abnormalities in terms of demographics, other than they are all healthy. - The kids receive one day of training from hand-to-hand combat experts who will train them specifically to team up to take down one adult. You will receive one hour of "counter-tactics" training. - There is no protective padding for any combatant other than the standard-issue cup. * The kids are motivated enough to not get scared, regardless of the bloodshed. Even the very last one will give it his/her best to take you down. I think I can take out about 40 or so before I got too tired. Granted I don't have the sugar stamina that a pack of rabid 5 year-olds would. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
phillybear 366 Posted November 3, 2006 I once kicked the asses of 42 midgets in Cambodia. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
tony hardware 0 Posted November 3, 2006 5 years old isn't even fair. One kick/punch to the dome and they're done. It's basically how many can you hit with one shot before your fat ass collapses. For me, the question is really, under the same circumstances, how many 13-16 year olds can you take down because there are many that age that I would like to beat down. I put myself at about 4-5 13 year olds simultaneously. 16? Maybe 3. At 16 they start to know where to hit. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
paradoxical 1 Posted November 3, 2006 40 is a lot to take on at once, if they all had a day of training you'd be in trouble i think. I'd say 25 maybe. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
frank 2,336 Posted November 3, 2006 When you say "take on".. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
resser2 0 Posted November 3, 2006 intresting.... concidering they don't come back after they are hit, I think I could take down over 250. At the start I would yell "Look Santa!" and as they all turned and were distracted, I would open up the offensive spree! (I started the Black Belt Training 2002) During my Black Belt Test in July we did over 1000 kicks (total for both legs). Assuming that I didn't have to Kick over 3' high, and I time it like a video game Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
cbfalcon 827 Posted November 3, 2006 Great topic. Best I've seen in awhile. 1st off, 13-16 year olds is not a good question as by that age the kids are getting as big as some adults. 5 year olds......hmmm. I think 20-25. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
jerryskids 7,040 Posted November 3, 2006 intresting.... concidering they don't come back after they are hit, I think I could take down over 250. At the start I would yell "Look Santa!" and as they all turned and were distracted, I would open up the offensive spree! Besides...... Here is me..... (date is wrong 2002 is when I started the Black Belt Training) During my Black Belt Test in July we did over 1000 kicks (total for both legs). Assuming that I didn't have to Kick over 3' high, and I time it like a video game Hey, always good to have another martial artist here. I'm a 2nd degree BB in taekwondo (ATA). Also I suggest you remove your link unless you want the tards here to know your name. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Big Blue 06 196 Posted November 3, 2006 Good topic. At 5 years old, I would guess 40. I'm 6'4", in good shape, I play sports, I have good stamina. I think I could knock around about 40 before I get tired enough to be overtaken. Also, 5 year olds isn't really fair, as they are really small. One good kick and it's all over for them. If we're talking about 11-14 year olds, then it would get tougher. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
resser2 0 Posted November 3, 2006 Hey, always good to have another martial artist here. I'm a 2nd degree BB in taekwondo (ATA). Also I suggest you remove your link unless you want the tards here to know your name. Good Call! Thanks! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Big Blue 06 196 Posted November 3, 2006 Good Call! Thanks! Too late! I know who you are!! And have no desire to do anything with that info. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
resser2 0 Posted November 3, 2006 no desire Thanks - Its because I am a black belt, or because where I live got over 6inches of snow last night with more coming ? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
hoytdwow 202 Posted November 3, 2006 Can we all get undressed first? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Electric Mayhem 35 Posted November 3, 2006 I think you are all overestimating your abilities. If they have a little training, you wouldn't get off more than a couple shots before they swarmed your limbs, took you down and gave you a beating. I would say probably more like 7 or 8. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
resser2 0 Posted November 3, 2006 I think you are all overestimating your abilities. If they have a little training, you wouldn't get off more than a couple shots before they swarmed your limbs, took you down and gave you a beating. I would say probably more like 7 or 8. maybe, but training doesn't mean that they will be commited to the full assault. Like I said, I would distract them with the Santa thing and assume the rest. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Electric Mayhem 35 Posted November 3, 2006 maybe, but training doesn't mean that they will be commited to the full assault. Like I said, I would distract them with the Santa thing and assume the rest. I would think the first part of combat training would include such wisdom as "don't fall for the 'Look - Santa!' and 'Close your eyes and I'll give you a peice of candy'" tactics. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
NewbieJr 541 Posted November 3, 2006 My strategy would be to knock out the first five year old I see, and then use the unconscious one as a club. I'd swing him around to knockout the other kids. A good counter strategy would be for about five or six of them to bum rush me, but I'd doubt they'd have the brains or the guts to do that, seeing as I'd be swinging their bloody friend around so effortlessly. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
jerryskids 7,040 Posted November 3, 2006 maybe, but training doesn't mean that they will be commited to the full assault. Like I said, I would distract them with the Santa thing and assume the rest. Also, I saw you are from the Soo. My inlaws live in Cedarville, we go there every summer for a vacation. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Cdub100 3,995 Posted November 3, 2006 A lot I would say the whole court First off 5 y/o don't hit hard Secondly only so many can get around you at a time The only way I think I would lose is if I were to fall down on my back Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
tony hardware 0 Posted November 3, 2006 I think you are all overestimating your abilities. If they have a little training, you wouldn't get off more than a couple shots before they swarmed your limbs, took you down and gave you a beating. I would say probably more like 7 or 8. DOOD! They're 5. Do you know how small five year olds are? PS - Newbies club idea is crassic!! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
phillybear 366 Posted November 3, 2006 I am going to start my own organization, in a dingy basement of a bar. I'll get a group of raging 5 year olds in a circle, then fight them bareknuckle to the death, one by one. I think I'll call it the Fight fiveyearolds Club. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Electric Mayhem 35 Posted November 3, 2006 DOOD! They're 5. Do you know how small five year olds are? Maybe I'm overestimating their height/weight. I wasn't about to do a search for five year old children on Google. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
hellothere 1 Posted November 3, 2006 i misread the title, and supposed it was drunken 5 years olds, in which case the answer might have been....all of them. the cup is key to this whole debate. as well as they don't all get knives like chucky or something. either one of those factors drops the numbers hugely. by your standards set up, it would depend on their state of mind. they can be motivated to attack, but then feel the pain of a punch to the face and quit real quick. or they are "zombies" and will attach regardless of pain until death. normal five year olds....50 "zombie" five year olds....25 drunken five year olds....800 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
De Novo 0 Posted November 3, 2006 Well, to knock me out they need to get in a whoooole lot of punches/kicks to the head. Since they're so short, they won't get any in with me standing up... but if they go for the groin, I think anyone is in trouble. No fewer than 15. Probably no more than 50. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
shovelheadt 71 Posted November 3, 2006 It's a simple matter of physics. You could simply just run through them and they'd part like the red sea. Just the force of your swinging arms and lifting knees would be enough to destroy most of them. Me at 200-215lbs vs. multiple 5 year olds at 40-50lbs = no contest. It would be like running through a pasture of dandelions. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
BMoney 0 Posted November 3, 2006 i think u can fight em like bob probert in his roid days... until the MILFs start showing up to watch....in their thin stretched out cotton tops... youd go down all right.... i heard michael jackson can take a lot of them on.... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
NewbieJr 541 Posted November 3, 2006 i think u can fight em like bob probert in his roid days... until the MILFs start showing up to watch....in their thin stretched out cotton tops... youd go down all right.... i heard michael jackson can take a lot of them on.... Dear BMoney, Michael jackson jokes are hilarious! Signed, 2004 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Big Blue 06 196 Posted November 3, 2006 Dear BMoney, Michael jackson jokes are hilarious! Signed, 2004 Newbie is on a roll today. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
edjr 6,849 Posted November 3, 2006 Dear BMoney, Michael jackson jokes are hilarious! Signed, 1995 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
mobb_deep 920 Posted November 3, 2006 I think you are all overestimating your abilities. If they have a little training, you wouldn't get off more than a couple shots before they swarmed your limbs, took you down and gave you a beating. I would say probably more like 7 or 8. That's what i'm thinking. Once a few grappled onto your legs you would be pretty immobile. Considering they're all 5 even an average sized man would have a hard time swinging that low. Your legs would really be your best weapon in this sort of combat. Once the swarm is all over you it would be like a pack of killer bees. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Riddlen 1 Posted November 3, 2006 That's what i'm thinking. Once a few grappled onto your legs you would be pretty immobile. Considering they're all 5 even an average sized man would have a hard time swinging that low. Your legs would really be your best weapon in this sort of combat. Once the swarm is all over you it would be like a pack of killer bees. true, but i still think its 10-15... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
rallo 136 Posted November 3, 2006 if they were trained by anyone intelligent, they'd go right for your bean-bag... that would lower a lot of your numbers previously posted. A few unsuspecting shots to your gonads would probably make you a little weary of 5 year olds because they are at the correct height to do so. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
resser2 0 Posted November 3, 2006 Newbie is on a roll today. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
BMoney 0 Posted November 4, 2006 Dear BMoney, Michael jackson jokes are hilarious! Signed, 2004 i know..it wasnt funny..everyone automatically thinks of the obvious..i just went ahead and posted it.. im no redtodd Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
brinett9 0 Posted November 4, 2006 I'd build up a defensive position in a corner using the bodies of the fallen. If they had to step over or on other kids to get to you, they'd be at a distinct disadvantage. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Big_Pete 0 Posted November 4, 2006 I think it all depends on how packed the basketball court is allowed to get.. now, is it an nba stadium where you have seating? or the cheesy high school gyms where there's a court and then 5ft way there is wall? IF you have a bit of wiggle room (i.e; they aren't packed in like sheep) then I'd say the only thing stopping you from knocking every kid out is your stamina. Also, I think regardless of training, once you knock the fock out like 10+ of those beotches, the rest of the 5 year olds would lose motivation. I mean, when you are 5, you are too young to have the ego that would keep you going after you see someone effortlessly take down your fellow comrads. And also, just wear a cup. That way if they punch in the sack, they'll hurt themselves more than you. Yeah you'll feel it, but not nearly as bad. Plus they cant kick that high, so the thread of that is out. Really their only hope is to trip you up by bashing the back of your legs till you fall over and they can pile ontop of you, in which case you have a much better chance of just suffocating till you pass out than actually getting "knocked out" cause 5 year olds cant hit hard at all. So my # would be probably 1000+. Even if you are dead tired and are slumped over, by that time, the majority of them will be down and all you'd have to do is muster up enough strength to just stick your arm out and tap them on the nose and they'll fall. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Quickolas1 80 Posted November 4, 2006 if the "one day of training" is telling them all to bumrush you and pile on top, i would think anymore than 25 would be impossible Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Big_Pete 0 Posted November 4, 2006 if the "one day of training" is telling them all to bumrush you and pile on top, i would think anymore than 25 would be impossible nahh.. they're only 5... way too uncoordinated at that point to pull it off.. They'd end up trampling eachother in the mad dash to pile on you, thus still easy pickings until you passed out from exhaustion Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
brinett9 0 Posted November 4, 2006 if the "one day of training" is telling them all to bumrush you and pile on top, i would think anymore than 25 would be impossible That wouldn't really work. Once they have you down in a big pile, it'd be near impossible for them to knock you out. The pile itself would protect you. Yud only have to defend your mouth and nose so they couldn't suffocate you. What about grabbing one by the ankles and swinging it round and round, knocking away any would-be attackers? There's no foreign objects, but there are 50 lb kids. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Big Blue 06 196 Posted November 4, 2006 That wouldn't really work. Once they have you down in a big pile, it'd be near impossible for them to knock you out. The pile itself would protect you. Yud only have to defend your mouth and nose so they couldn't suffocate you. What about grabbing one by the ankles and swinging it round and round, knocking away any would-be attackers? There's no foreign objects, but there are 50 lb kids. Scroll up a bit. Newbie suggested using the first kid as a club to swing at the rest of them. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites