Funeral for a person who committed suicide

[Engorgeous George 2,331]

21 hours ago, GutterBoy said:

Nope.  I would never say this kinda stuff about someone while head d to their funeral, so pardon me for thinking that someone who would might also whisper the same under their breath to a buddy.

I'm no expert about funeral behavior but in my experience people at a funeralral of a suicide will speculate about the reasons for and the impact of the suicide.   Now those who do speculate do not do so with the immediate family, but I have even heard close friends speculate as part of their mourning process.  It is human nature to try to understand the motivation for someone taking their life especially when that someone was a friend.

 

My administrative assistant was a single mother and a devoted one.  I watched her boy grow from a toddler to a young man.  Like most boys he had a few minor kerfuffels while growing up but he seemed to get through them all and was a fine and honorable young man with many friends.  He killed himself.  I attended the funeral.  I actually paid for the funeral.  His close friends told many annecdotes about the young man while eulogizing him.  They also speculated as to his motivations or lack of faith or internal anguish while eulogizing him.  Maybe you have experienced otherwise, but in my limited experience conversations as to motivation are common at funerals and wakes, done with some caution certainly to mind the proprieties and the sensitivities of the closest relatives, but common.

[GutterBoy 2,899]

44 minutes ago, jerryskids said:

Is that how I've shown myself?  

Also, I'm glad you're sure.   

Might be a good opportunity for some self reflection 

[GutterBoy 2,899]

24 minutes ago, Engorgeous George said:

I'm no expert about funeral behavor but in my experience people at a funeeral of a suicide will speculate about the reasons for and the impact of the suicide.   Now those who do speculate do not do so with the immediate family, but I have even heard close friends speculate as part of their mourning process.  It is human nature to try to understqand the motivation for someone taking their life especially when that someone was a friend.

 

My administrative assistant was a single mother and a devoted one.  I watched her boy grow from a toddler to a young man.  Like most boys he had a few minor kerfuffels while growing up but he seemed to get through them all and was a fine and honorable young man with many friends.  He killed himself.  I attended the funeral.  I actually paid for the funeral.  His close friends told many annecdotes about the young man while eulogizing him.  They also speculated as to his motivations or lack of faith or internal anguish while eulogizing him.  Maybe you have experienced otherwise, but in my limited experience conversations as to motivation are common at funerals and wakes, done with some caution certainly to mind the proprieties and the sensitivities of the closest realtives, but common.

I've never been to the funeral for a suicide victim.  I've known people that committed suicide and have had discussions about what they might have gone through but always with respect to the victim and the family

[BufordT 434]

The well liked and respected jerryskids is taking a beating in this one.

[BeachGuy23 642]

10 minutes ago, GutterBoy said:

Might be a good opportunity for some self reflection 

Jerry self reflect?

Dude does nothing but double down on his terrible takes or he deflects or he just ignores them.

SOP for Jerry which is weird since he's someone who's been smacked around pretty hard by life, so he should know what it's like having to try overcome the crap that life throws at you.  Some of us learn from these roadblocks and become more empathetic to those suffering, some just become bigger jackholes. 

[Strike 5,538]

1 hour ago, BufordT said:

The well liked and respected jerryskids is taking a beating in this one.

He's really not.  Others in this thread might want to consider some self reflection but nothing Jerry has posted is disrespectful to the family or inappropriate to discuss in this forum.

[jerryskids 6,790]

1 hour ago, GutterBoy said:

Might be a good opportunity for some self reflection 

Good point.  I'm reflecting that it's impossible to have difficult discussions with trolls.  I could tell you how much different she looked in the past few years.  And I could tell you, as I already have, that it is normal to think about what the demons were (I noticed you've never been to such a funeral, speaking from expertise again I see).  And this used to be a place we could discuss such things.  But it wouldn't matter to you, you troll that you think I would say something at a funeral.

Gutter, the arbiter of niceness and decorum on FFT. 

 

[5-Points 3,526]

2 hours ago, BufordT said:

The well liked and respected jerryskids is taking a beating in this one.

I'm not seeing what you're seeing. He poasted about going to the funeral of some broad that decided to clock out of life early. 

Then the usual suspects showed up, nitpicked and misconstrued Jerry's post to make it mean what they wanted it to mean. 

Jerry didn't disparage her in any way.

[jerryskids 6,790]

7 minutes ago, Strike said:

He's really not.  Others in this thread might want to consider some self reflection but nothing Jerry has posted is disrespectful to the family or inappropriate to discuss in this forum.

Thanks.  I try very hard to not accuse people who commit suicide as being selfish, as I don't think of them as being able to make a rational decision.  That's why I said "inconsiderate" in the OP, which in hindsight wasn't the best word, but I was looking for a better word than selfish, and I meant it in the denotative sense of "not considering, or not capable of considering."  It's a terrible sickness, one that would cause you to think death is better than living.

But Worms drunk read the thread and accused me of calling her a "raging biotch" or similar, Gutter decided to troll, BeachBlade spewed out some words, and here we are.

[EternalShinyAndChrome 4,099]

4 minutes ago, jerryskids said:

Thanks.  I try very hard to not accuse people who commit suicide as being selfish, as I don't think of them as being able to make a rational decision.  That's why I said "inconsiderate" in the OP, which in hindsight wasn't the best word, but I was looking for a better word than selfish, and I meant it in the denotative sense of "not considering, or not capable of considering."  It's a terrible sickness, one that would cause you to think death is better than living.

But Worms drunk read the thread and accused me of calling her a "raging biotch" or similar, Gutter decided to troll, BeachBlade spewed out some words, and here we are.

Well, technically, it really is selfish, especially if they have kids and a family.  It's a very selfish act - that's not even debatable and don't let anyone tell you differently.

[weepaws 3,191]

21 hours ago, jerryskids said:

If a parishioner of your cult committed suicide, would you attend?  Would the cult even give them a memorial service?

Don’t know, I’ve never known someone that has done something so selfishly like take their own life.  

Good day sir. 

[weepaws 3,191]

20 hours ago, Strike said:

Maybe this was God's plan?  Who are you to question God? 

Do you really think it’s God’s plan for someone to kill them self, thou shall not kill.  No silly fool. No. 

[GutterBoy 2,899]

49 minutes ago, jerryskids said:

Good point.  I'm reflecting that it's impossible to have difficult discussions with trolls.  I could tell you how much different she looked in the past few years.  And I could tell you, as I already have, that it is normal to think about what the demons were (I noticed you've never been to such a funeral, speaking from expertise again I see).  And this used to be a place we could discuss such things.  But it wouldn't matter to you, you troll that you think I would say something at a funeral.

Gutter, the arbiter of niceness and decorum on FFT. 

 

Awfully defense over just a troll.

It is pretty telling that you consider anyone that offers a different perspective as just a troll.

[GutterBoy 2,899]

Can we cut the sh1t with suicide being selfish or inconsiderate of others.  From the victims perspective it's usually the opposite.  They feel they don't matter, they're a burden to others, and often their pain is so much that they feel they have no other choice but to end it and remove their burden from others.  That's why it's important to tell people you care about them and they matter in this world.

The only time I would possibly consider suicide selfish or cowardly is when the person is facing consequences for their crimes and takes their own life as a way of avoiding accountability.

[weepaws 3,191]

Suicide when facing prosecution for ones wrong doing, is exactly a puzzy selfless move.  

So gutter just made my point. 

Amen 

Thanks. 

[Strike 5,538]

21 minutes ago, weepaws said:

Do you really think it’s God’s plan for someone to kill them self, thou shall not kill.  No silly fool. No. 

I don't presume to understand God's infinite wisdom.  It goes beyond my puny little brains ability the understand.

[weepaws 3,191]

2 minutes ago, Strike said:

I don't presume to understand God's infinite wisdom.  It goes beyond my puny little brains ability the understand.

It’s very simple, Jesus Christ Your Lord and Savior.  Can’t be any more simple.  HTH. 

Amen. 

Thanks. 

[cmh6476 1,025]

if there's something I subscribe to a liberal philosophy about, it's attending funerals.

[jerryskids 6,790]

3 hours ago, GutterBoy said:

I've never been to the funeral for a suicide victim.  I've known people that committed suicide and have had discussions about what they might have gone through but always with respect to the victim and the family

So, having discussions on a lightly-trafficked FF board is disrespectful to the victim and family?

[edjr 6,580]

2 minutes ago, jerryskids said:

So, having discussions on a lightly-trafficked FF board is disrespectful to the victim and family?

You should delete this thread to hide your ugly intolerance 

[BeachGuy23 642]

2 minutes ago, jerryskids said:

So, having discussions on a lightly-trafficked FF board is disrespectful to the victim and family?

No it's perfectly fine.

Hey let's make fun of those who've had serious illnesses too.  And man if those folks have had any kind of permanent, life impacting challenges, all the better.

Many on your side think that's a hoot!

What say you Jer?

[GutterBoy 2,899]

3 minutes ago, jerryskids said:

So, having discussions on a lightly-trafficked FF board is disrespectful to the victim and family?

I would think sh1t talking her physical appearance on the day of her funeral probably qualifies, yes.  But I'm just a troll so ignore everything I say.

[jerryskids 6,790]

3 minutes ago, BeachGuy23 said:

No it's perfectly fine.

Hey let's make fun of those who've had serious illnesses too.  And man if those folks have had any kind of permanent, life impacting challenges, all the better.

Many on your side think that's a hoot!

What say you Jer?

I have never done that to you or anyone else, and I have voiced my objection in the past when people have done that to you.

And before you say it, not every time, but I've done it.

[EternalShinyAndChrome 4,099]

6 minutes ago, GutterBoy said:

But I'm just a troll so ignore everything I say.

Yep.  Glad we could finally agree on something about you. 

To be fair, though, most everyone has been doing that already for quite some time now.

[Strike 5,538]

Libs showing their "tolerance" of different points of view again lol

[EternalShinyAndChrome 4,099]

9 minutes ago, Strike said:

Libs showing their "tolerance" of different points of view again lol

tolerant liberal is an oxymoron. 

[IGotWorms 4,058]

2 hours ago, jerryskids said:

Thanks.  I try very hard to not accuse people who commit suicide as being selfish, as I don't think of them as being able to make a rational decision.  That's why I said "inconsiderate" in the OP, which in hindsight wasn't the best word, but I was looking for a better word than selfish, and I meant it in the denotative sense of "not considering, or not capable of considering."  It's a terrible sickness, one that would cause you to think death is better than living.

But Worms drunk read the thread and accused me of calling her a "raging biotch" or similar, Gutter decided to troll, BeachBlade spewed out some words, and here we are.

My first post in this thread told you that I understood where you were coming from. Yes she probably has given that son some rather focked up sh1t for life. Of course the husband will be scarred as well. My only point was, rather than just criticizing her and making yourself out as a saint for deigning to go to her funeral anyway, maybe think about how awful it must’ve been for her to resort to suicide, and also how nobody really gives a g0ddamn what you think — it’s not about you.

But go ahead and keep ignoring the message. I don’t care. It’s my last post on the subject as we’re just going round and round here.

[wiffleball 4,790]

I remember my uncle the monsignor having the temerity to tell my mom and dad, who had been friends with him  - very close friends, for at least 30-40 years at that point that my Brother wasn't going to Heaven or Narnia or WTF ever because Suicide is a "sin". 

 

You know what, ? Let's go a couple rounds on Kid Raping vs Gut Wrenching Depression. 

 

Aw man, I was SO focking pissed.  So much so that they knew to have a chaperone on me. 

 

Just to prove what a swell club it was, Nonsignor Leo actually told my folks - his own Brother , that if they put part of Bros ashes in an above ground crypt.  Well now, that would go a long way...

Geesus Christ, do you get a kickback ?  

"Well, if you don't want to spend $2500 annually on your own sons Eternal Repose..."

 

 

- Enjoy the Leukemia fock face. Pretty sure that was God's commission.

Sorry to hijerk. 

[weepaws 3,191]

47 minutes ago, wiffleball said:

I remember my uncle the monsignor having the temerity to tell my mom and dad, who had been friends with him  - very close friends, for at least 30-40 years at that point that my Brother wasn't going to Heaven or Narnia or WTF ever because Suicide is a "sin". 

 

You know what, ? Let's go a couple rounds on Kid Raping vs Gut Wrenching Depression. 

 

Aw man, I was SO focking pissed.  So much so that they knew to have a chaperone on me. 

 

Just to prove what a swell club it was, Nonsignor Leo actually told my folks - his own Brother , that if they put part of Bros ashes in an above ground crypt.  Well now, that would go a long way...

Geesus Christ, do you get a kickback ?  

"Well, if you don't want to spend $2500 annually on your own sons Eternal Repose..."

 

 

- Enjoy the Leukemia fock face. Pretty sure that was God's commission.

Sorry to hijerk. 

Lol at you , your a pathetic piece of

[jerryskids 6,790]

1 hour ago, IGotWorms said:

My first post in this thread told you that I understood where you were coming from. Yes she probably has given that son some rather focked up sh1t for life. Of course the husband will be scarred as well. My only point was, rather than just criticizing her and making yourself out as a saint for deigning to go to her funeral anyway, maybe think about how awful it must’ve been for her to resort to suicide, and also how nobody really gives a g0ddamn what you think — it’s not about you.

But go ahead and keep ignoring the message. I don’t care. It’s my last post on the subject as we’re just going round and round here.

You said you understand it, then typed a lot of words that showed you didn't.  Particularly the "disparaging words," which I stand by my assertion that you drunk-scanned the thread, saw some disparaging words, and attributed them to me.  When I asked about you said I thought she was a "horrible biotch" I believe.  Then when I responded that I said no such thing, you responded with something like "we all know your judgments."

So you'll excuse me if I didn't think you were being complimentary. 

 

[cmh6476 1,025]

Glad to see the holier than thou crowd show up.  Also my grandma passed today, the last of all my grandparents.   She didn't commit suicide though, they think it was a great attack.   RIP

[nobody 2,669]

19 hours ago, weepaws said:

Do you really think it’s God’s plan for someone to kill them self, thou shall not kill.  No silly fool. No. 

Thou shall not bear false witness either.

You ever going to tell us about the multiple times you physically removed men from women's bathrooms?

[Hardcore troubadour 15,416]

17 hours ago, wiffleball said:

I remember my uncle the monsignor having the temerity to tell my mom and dad, who had been friends with him  - very close friends, for at least 30-40 years at that point that my Brother wasn't going to Heaven or Narnia or WTF ever because Suicide is a "sin". 

 

You know what, ? Let's go a couple rounds on Kid Raping vs Gut Wrenching Depression. 

 

Aw man, I was SO focking pissed.  So much so that they knew to have a chaperone on me. 

 

Just to prove what a swell club it was, Nonsignor Leo actually told my folks - his own Brother , that if they put part of Bros ashes in an above ground crypt.  Well now, that would go a long way...

Geesus Christ, do you get a kickback ?  

"Well, if you don't want to spend $2500 annually on your own sons Eternal Repose..."

 

 

- Enjoy the Leukemia fock face. Pretty sure that was God's commission.

Sorry to hijerk. 

That must have been a long time ago. That’s not the way the church handles suicide today. 

[kutulu 1,676]