cyclone24 1,814 Posted February 10, 2016 Good old Valentine's Day. The last one I spent with my wife, she went off when I brought her flowers. "I hate peach roses. After seven years of marriage, you should know that. Next time..." I cut her off... "Next time you get flowers from me is when I lay them on your focking grave." Then I ran the peach roses down the garbage disposal, and left the house. Good times. God thats romantic. I seriously welled up 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
mobb_deep 917 Posted February 10, 2016 To be fair, peach roses are something you get your grandma. I got a feeling TBBOMs ex wanted chocolate. Oink oink. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Artista 460 Posted February 10, 2016 What does she whine about the most that you don't do. Do that along with flowers/candies/nice dinner if she's into that stuff. I agree with JK on the gifts stuff. Expectations could go up. You also have an anniversary and birthday and Xmas if you celebrate that with gifts too. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Mookz 1,287 Posted February 10, 2016 Chloroform and a van. Bath and body works gift set. Gun with a silencer? I like it. I'm going to do all three. In that order. Will report back. Good old Valentine's Day. The last one I spent with my wife, she went off when I brought her flowers. "I hate peach roses. After seven years of marriage, you should know that. Next time..." I cut her off... "Next time you get flowers from me is when I lay them on your focking grave." Then I ran the peach roses down the garbage disposal, and left the house. Good times. Don't pretend you didn't already have that line queued up. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
titans&bucs&bearsohmy! 2,745 Posted February 10, 2016 To be fair, peach roses are something you get your grandma. I got a feeling TBBOMs ex wanted chocolate. Oink oink. Probably. Should have gotten her ass divorce papers. Years earlier. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
titans&bucs&bearsohmy! 2,745 Posted February 10, 2016 I like it. I'm going to do all three. In that order. Will report back. Don't pretend you didn't already have that line queued up. No. I am very good with one line retorts. I was pissed. Had already bought her gifts and taken her to dinner the weekend Before. I had been at work hearing lovey Dovey crap on the jukebox and felt like being extra romantic. Then she goes psycho kunt. And she never got flowers again. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Willis McGahee's Dentist 61 Posted February 10, 2016 By simply using two emojies, you've clearly explained why you're divorced and can't keep a woman. But at least you're macho. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
BunnysBastatrds 1,916 Posted February 10, 2016 $300 gift card to Edwin Watts. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
drobeski 3,061 Posted February 10, 2016 By simply using two emojies, you've clearly explained why you're divorced and can't keep a woman. But at least you're macho. get off Pinterest Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
KSB2424 3,083 Posted February 10, 2016 Quality thread. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Mookz 1,287 Posted February 11, 2016 Quality thread. For like, sewing and stuff? I suppose she might appreciate that. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Kanil 519 Posted February 11, 2016 Get her pregnant. Chicks love babies. Dont even joke man, thats terrifying. Seriously... A world where Tana reproduces is NOT a world I want to live in. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
IGotWorms 3,315 Posted February 11, 2016 God thats romantic. I seriously welled up I enjoyed the garbage disposal touch. Cherry on top Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
tanatastic 2,061 Posted February 11, 2016 Seriously... A world where Tana reproduces is NOT a world I want to live in. You and me both brother, you and me both. 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
IGotWorms 3,315 Posted February 11, 2016 Well fock, I didn't even think about Valentine's Day. Don't know what to do as my wifey goes not really care about flowers and the last few times I bought jewelry it has been a total fail. Would take her out to dinner but the grandparents are away so nobody to watch the kid. She doesn't get too excited when I cook at home because I do that pretty often. Fock fock fock Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
DankNuggs 305 Posted February 11, 2016 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uo0X9HcIMPw Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
drobeski 3,061 Posted February 11, 2016 Well fock, I didn't even think about Valentine's Day. Don't know what to do as my wifey goes not really care about flowers and the last few times I bought jewelry it has been a total fail. Would take her out to dinner but the grandparents are away so nobody to watch the kid. She doesn't get too excited when I cook at home because I do that pretty often. Fock fock fock justh make her a scrapbook. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
IGotWorms 3,315 Posted February 11, 2016 justh make her a scrapbook. "Honey guess what?! For Valentine's Day I got you ... A ghey hubby! Surprise!!" Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Willis McGahee's Dentist 61 Posted February 11, 2016 "Honey guess what?! For Valentine's Day I got you ... A ghey hubby! Surprise!!" Never take relationship advice from a dumbass who couldn't keep his wife from banging his friends. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
drobeski 3,061 Posted February 11, 2016 Never take relationship advice from a dumbass who couldn't keep his wife from banging his friends. how's your scrapbook coming Carlson ? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Willis McGahee's Dentist 61 Posted February 11, 2016 how's your scrapbook coming Carlson ? It's going to get my cack sucked. Much better than you getting your ex vacuum cleaners and frying pans. That just got your friends' cacks sucked. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
drobeski 3,061 Posted February 11, 2016 It's going to get my cack sucked. Much better than you getting your ex vacuum cleaners and frying pans. That just got your friends' cacks sucked. so senthative Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Willis McGahee's Dentist 61 Posted February 11, 2016 so senthative Try it. They like it. That's free advice, Igor. Maybe the next one will stick around. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
drobeski 3,061 Posted February 11, 2016 Try it. They like it. That's free advice, Igor. Maybe the next one will stick around. they don't, unless they're into gay men. I mentioned it to my live in girlfriend of 3 years or so...she laughed. She's also into Pinterest like you. No normal woman wants a scrapbook from their "man". Sorry bud, you got a weird one. Congratulations Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
TD Ryan2 314 Posted February 11, 2016 a photo montage slide show. 100 (or so) pictures and memories of you and her set to music. and then a voice over of you saying/reading your message to her. sappy? yup. cheesy? maybe. will she love it? yes. how do you do it? - Get photos (from Facebook on Instagram?) - Get music - Get iMovie App (or some free video editor) - record voice message on smart phone - import photos, music, voice message into iMovie, save. send. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Patriotsfatboy1 1,432 Posted February 11, 2016 a photo montage slide show. 100 (or so) pictures and memories of you and her set to music. and then a voice over of you saying/reading your message to her. sappy? yup. cheesy? maybe. will she love it? yes. how do you do it? - Get photos (from Facebook on Instagram?) - Get music - Get iMovie App (or some free video editor) - record voice message on smart phone - import photos, music, voice message into iMovie, save. send. [drobeski] Now, at what point do you take the c0ck out of your mouf? [/drobeski] Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
drobeski 3,061 Posted February 11, 2016 [drobeski] Now, at what point do you take the c0ck out of your mouf? [/drobeski] don't forget, I KNOW you're a big time scrapbooker Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
TD Ryan2 314 Posted February 11, 2016 the photo montage is to scrapbooking as the 6 minute abs are to the 10 minute abs - it's the way of the scrap booking future Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Patriotsfatboy1 1,432 Posted February 11, 2016 don't forget, I KNOW you're a big time scrapbooker My wife is a big time scrap booker. I only do stuff on the 'puter. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
tanatastic 2,061 Posted February 11, 2016 My wife is a big time scrap booker. I only do stuff on the 'puter. You spelled pooper wrong. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
titans&bucs&bearsohmy! 2,745 Posted February 12, 2016 I did a scrapbook for my ex wife once, early on. Pictures of us, tickets from early dates, some poems and song lyrics she likes, etc. She loved it. Got me laid big time. Seriously, part of the fun of romance is putting aside your manly machismo and doing something nice for her. Kind of like how a real man is comfortable letting his daughter put make up on him or having a tea party. I should really update that book. Pressed flower petals from a peach rose, the condom wrapper from one of the hookers I banged, a piece of our divorce decree... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
tanatastic 2,061 Posted February 12, 2016 I did a scrapbook for my ex wife once, early on. Pictures of us, tickets from early dates, some poems and song lyrics she likes, etc. She loved it. Got me laid big time. Seriously, part of the fun of romance is putting aside your manly machismo and doing something nice for her. Kind of like how a real man is comfortable letting his daughter put make up on him or having a tea party. I should really update that book. Pressed flower petals from a peach rose, the condom wrapper from one of the hookers I banged, a piece of our divorce decree... This touching sentiment makes my peemus weep yellowish green tears. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
jerryskids 5,206 Posted February 12, 2016 This touching sentiment makes my peemus weep yellowish green tears. Sorry, that's the syphilis. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Franknbeans 46 Posted February 12, 2016 sherries berries. nothing says i love you and appreciate you more than mail order strawberries. I go all Rocky Mozell and have a star named after her. Instant tossed salad. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Willis McGahee's Dentist 61 Posted February 12, 2016 they don't, unless they're into gay men. I mentioned it to my live in girlfriend of 3 years or so...she laughed. She's also into Pinterest like you. No normal woman wants a scrapbook from their "man". Sorry bud, you got a weird one. Congratulations Your he-man, tough guy act already drove your wife into the arms of another man. I'm just trying to prevent it from happening again. No one wants a hairy-backed, grunting dooshnozzle. And the reason your new chick laughed is because she could never imagine you having a romantic idea like that. The very thought of it made her laugh. If it came from me, she'd be throating me like there was no tomorrow. Don't pass up good advice when it's offered. Grunt twice if you understand. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
hoytdwow 202 Posted February 12, 2016 I did a scrapbook for my ex wife once, sounds like it worked out well Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
MDC 5,891 Posted February 12, 2016 About a year ago I got a Bluetooth mini stereo and made a mix CD of songs we'd listen to when we were dating and got mocked for it here but she loved it. It's pretty easy to see why so many geeks are divorced. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
drobeski 3,061 Posted February 12, 2016 Your he-man, tough guy act already drove your wife into the arms of another man. I'm just trying to prevent it from happening again. No one wants a hairy-backed, grunting dooshnozzle. And the reason your new chick laughed is because she could never imagine you having a romantic idea like that. The very thought of it made her laugh. If it came from me, she'd be throating me like there was no tomorrow. Don't pass up good advice when it's offered. Grunt twice if you understand. hope you're using pink construction paper Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
titans&bucs&bearsohmy! 2,745 Posted February 12, 2016 sounds like it worked out well Well, when you stupidly marry a woman you never should have married, nothing will save the situation long term. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
