Weirdest thing to ever happen to you during sex

[tony hardware 0]

Mine's always been pretty conventional. There was one girl where the air being forced in by my cack would make a "fart" type sound repeatedly and at first I didn't know what it was so I thought she was farting. I once passed out on a girl during sex. That kinda sucked. My roommate in college once woke up next to a girl who was so drunk she sh!t in the bed over the course of the night.

[Edifice Of Shame 1]

The unexpected squirter before I had any idea what a squirter was

 

 

[Cdub100 3,442]

The knife fell out of the drawer, up the stairs and into her chest.

[jerryskids 5,340]

She actually said yes.

[joneo 532]

One time, at band camp, I stuck this girl's piccalo in her puszy.

[randandy 0]

The knife fell out of the drawer, up the stairs and into her chest.

 

how does a knife "fall" out of a drawer?

[Badmojo1006 0]

The Cat jumped up on the bed and sunk its claws into my butt

 

 

I chased the cat around the house and my wife at the time just

 

the cat survived in the garage for 2 months

[randandy 0]

my mom opened the bathroom door.

 

talk about wierd, my cack in one hand, her lotion in the other.

 

im so glad im not thirty anymore.

[Cdub100 3,442]

how does a knife "fall" out of a drawer?

That's what made it so weird

[joneo 532]

The biatch tore my mask off. #2 shovel came in handy.

[SUXBNME 1,352]

Honestly?

Well, I can't tell the most honestly embarrassing thing that happened to me for two reasons.

1: It was after sex the next morning

2: It could possibly be construed as partially ghey (it wasn't)

 

So I will say that this was the most embarrassing / funniest thing that ever happened (lately).

 

We were in the middle of it, and switching positions when her dog, (a Palmerainian sp?) jumped up on the bed and started / tried to lick her down there

 

The dog got a few licks off before she even realized that it was the dog, and not me (I think)

 

Anyways, I started laughing my ass off, lost the boner, (obviously) and fell asleep.

 

Sorry, but true story

 

The girl in question is the one that some of you saw pictures of. (hot tub boobie thrusting girl)

We both laugh about that night all the time (doggie lick night, that is)

[TommyGavin 790]

actually farting on this broads boobs. Details? OK - she was laying on the bed and I had my knees up in her armpit and she was blowing me and my butt was right on her teets - (I mean I was sitting on her) and I let one go (not that I think I had a choice) and the sound that focker made was CRASSIC funniest farting noise I EVAH heard.

 

Bad part of the story - I had to finish myself off - she went to sleep.

and now me and your mom can laugh about it.

[GettnHuge 1]

a boom mic fell and hit her on the ass when I was gettin oral

she was all

[texasmouth 1]

My daughter knocked on the door asking for a drink of water, thankfully she didnt open the door, that would have been difficult to explain.

[GettnHuge 1]

My daughter knocked on the door asking for a drink of water, thankfully she didnt open the door, that would have been difficult to explain.

 

she never did get my water

[texasmouth 1]

she never did get my water

Yeah....she's three you steroid pumping sicko.......

[edjr 5,656]

She was on top and a little piece of sh!t came out. After we were done it was dark and I felt around the bed and put my hand in it. I was like "WHAT THE FOCK IS THIS" she ran into the other room crying and locked herself in the bathroom. I was like "WHAT THE FOCK" yeah know, being real sensitive and all. She ends up telling me when she was born she was born with her a-hole messed up and she's had a bunch of surgeries in her life and sometimes it doesn't work correctly. Maybe you might want to WARN someone before you go sh!tting on them, just a thought. I literally focked the sh!t out of her. I guess.

[texasmouth 1]

She was on top and a little piece of sh!t came out. After we were done it was dark and I felt around the bed and put my hand in it. I was like "WHAT THE FOCK IS THIS" she ran into the other room crying and locked herself in the bathroom. I was like "WHAT THE FOCK" yeah know, being real sensitive and all. She ends up telling me when she was born she was born with her a-hole messed up and she's had a bunch of surgeries in her life and sometimes it doesn't work correctly. Maybe you might want to WARN someone before you go sh!tting on them, just a thought. I literally focked the sh!t out of her. I guess.

One of the nastiest stories I have heard.

[Chronic Husker 85]

She was on top and a little piece of sh!t came out. After we were done it was dark and I felt around the bed and put my hand in it. I was like "WHAT THE FOCK IS THIS" she ran into the other room crying and locked herself in the bathroom. I was like "WHAT THE FOCK" yeah know, being real sensitive and all. She ends up telling me when she was born she was born with her a-hole messed up and she's had a bunch of surgeries in her life and sometimes it doesn't work correctly. Maybe you might want to WARN someone before you go sh!tting on them, just a thought. I literally focked the sh!t out of her. I guess.

Is there anyone who hasn't taken a crap on edger?

 

Some of these are pretty good. In college, I got walked in on three separate occasions while my gf was giving me head. Once by my roommate, once by my next door neighbor, and once by my brother. I dunno why, but people figured they didn't have to knock before coming in my room.

[supermike80 1,325]

I would think the stories most of you sad lonely focks would tell would relate to having to buy a new keyboard after splooging all over it from reading posts from the attention wh0res on this bored..

 

 

Fess up..You had to have Mom buy youa new one and you were embarrassed.

[edjr 5,656]

One of the nastiest stories I have heard.

 

Try living it. Just imagine the girl stands up, you feel something that shouldn't be on the back of your leg and you put your hand down there to feel around, not knowing what it is, getting it on your hand too.

[Big Blue 06 195]

Halloween party about 5 years ago. I went with a couple of my guy friends and I met this girl at the party. Long story short, we ended up having sex in the laundry room of this house. Just after we finish, this dude walks in and sees this girl riding me. Turns out she was his girlfriend (I didn't know).

 

Anyway, he was REALLY pissed at her, and just mildly pissed at me. We ended up being friends later and we're now in a FF league together.

[texasmouth 1]

Try living it. Just imagine the girl stands up, you feel something that shouldn't be on the back of your leg and you put your hand down there to feel around, not knowing what it is, getting it on your hand too.

Where you still grossed out after you rubbed it all over yourself?

[golden eagles 0]

The unexpected squirter before I had any idea what a squirter was

 

Same here, happened in college. I was like WTF was that!!

 

Told some guy about it where I was working & he had a pron tape devoted to it Sort of cleared things up...

[30 Fat, Bald & Texan 5]

actually farting on this broads boobs. Details? OK - she was laying on the bed and I had my knees up in her armpit and she was blowing me and my butt was right on her teets - (I mean I was sitting on her) and I let one go (not that I think I had a choice) and the sound that focker made was CRASSIC funniest farting noise I EVAH heard.

 

Bad part of the story - I had to finish myself off - she went to sleep.

and now me and your mom can laugh about it.

kinda like a motorboat?

[davebg 0]

Told some guy about it where I was working & he had a pron tape devoted to it Sort of cleared things up...

Nothing like turning to a porno for some sexual edumacation.

[GettnHuge 1]

Yeah....she's three you steroid pumping sicko.......

 

she said she was 5

 

Anyway, he was REALLY pissed at her, and just mildly pissed at me. We ended up being friends later and we're now in a FF league together.

 

when you least expect it..

[D'ohmer Simpson 0]

In college, I got walked in on three separate occasions while my gf was giving me head. Once by my roommate, once by my next door neighbor, and once by my brother. I dunno why, but people figured they didn't have to knock before coming in my room.

Supposed to put a sock on the door handle.

[NewbieJr 541]

I got blood on my clown suit.

 

Kids.

[babycakes 0]

I dunno why, but people figured they didn't have to knock before coming in my room.

 

 

Your door didn't have a lock on it?

[Chronic Husker 85]

Your door didn't have a lock on it?

No, it didn't.

 

Every time was the exact same.

 

<door opens>

 

 

"Umm......."

 

<door closes>

 

<GF finishes>

[TommyGavin 790]

Still dating this fine woman?

 

She was on top and a little piece of sh!t came out. After we were done it was dark and I felt around the bed and put my hand in it. I was like "WHAT THE FOCK IS THIS" she ran into the other room crying and locked herself in the bathroom. I was like "WHAT THE FOCK" yeah know, being real sensitive and all. She ends up telling me when she was born she was born with her a-hole messed up and she's had a bunch of surgeries in her life and sometimes it doesn't work correctly. Maybe you might want to WARN someone before you go sh!tting on them, just a thought. I literally focked the sh!t out of her. I guess.

[DaWeffa 0]

i was focking this chick in my room one time (we were hammered)....my friend walks in when he hears all the comotion....well....he didnt leave....he stayed and ended up in her other hole...we focked the $hit out of her for hours....

[frank 2,165]

He escaped.

 

 

 

 

I mean she! SHE!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

dammit

[resser2 0]

i was focking this chick in my room one time (we were hammered)....my friend walks in when he hears all the comotion....well....he didnt leave....he stayed and ended up in her other hole...we focked the $hit out of her for hours....

 

 

Two Girls & One Guy = Great

Two Guys & One Girl = Gay

[phillybear 365]

She was on top and a little piece of sh!t came out. After we were done it was dark and I felt around the bed and put my hand in it. I was like "WHAT THE FOCK IS THIS" she ran into the other room crying and locked herself in the bathroom. I was like "WHAT THE FOCK" yeah know, being real sensitive and all. She ends up telling me when she was born she was born with her a-hole messed up and she's had a bunch of surgeries in her life and sometimes it doesn't work correctly. Maybe you might want to WARN someone before you go sh!tting on them, just a thought. I literally focked the sh!t out of her. I guess.

 

The mysterious origins of Tubgirl finally revealed. Tonight. On the History Channel.

[Recidivist 1]

The summer after my freshman year in college, my then GF was living with her Dad and step-mother. They were cool people. They totally condoned my coming over and boning their daughter whenever, which contrasted sharply with her previous living situation: her Mom & step-father were super religious and her Mom later prohibited her daughter/GF from dating me - hence the move to Dad's place.

 

One nite, we discovered that my GF's 12 year old step-brother was watching us. Their bedroom shared a bathroom - it was in between the two bedrooms and could only be accessed from either bedroom. He was watching from the bathroom.

 

We later found out he had been doing this for several weeks; we focked every single nite there, sometimes twice a nite. Thus, he probably watched us having sex in every conceivable position - my GF was very accomodating.

 

I saw my former GF last year at a reunion. In catching up, she informed me that her step-brother, in addition to being a pilot, is also homosexual. I couldn't help but wonder what effect watching his step-sister and I had on him.

[phillybear 365]

The summer after my freshman year in college, my then GF was living with her Dad and step-mother. They were cool people. They totally condoned my coming over and boning their daughter whenever, which contrasted sharply with her previous living situation: her Mom & step-father were super religious and her Mom later prohibited her daughter/GF from dating me - hence the move to Dad's place.

 

One nite, we discovered that my GF's 12 year old step-brother was watching us. Their bedroom shared a bathroom - it was in between the two bedrooms and could only be accessed from either bedroom. He was watching from the bathroom.

 

We later found out he had been doing this for several weeks; we focked every single nite there, sometimes twice a nite. Thus, he probably watched us having sex in every conceivable position - my GF was very accomodating.

 

I saw my former GF last year at a reunion. In catching up, she informed me that her step-brother, in addition to being a pilot, is also homosexual. I couldn't help but wonder what effect watching his step-sister and I had on him.

 

And now you have a spiffy anecdote that one day you can tell your grandkids. About the time you turned a straight man into a h0m0..

[resser2 0]

And now you have a spiffy anecdote that one day you can tell your grandkids. About the time you turned a straight man into a h0m0..

[tony hardware 0]

The summer after my freshman year in college, my then GF was living with her Dad and step-mother. They were cool people. They totally condoned my coming over and boning their daughter whenever, which contrasted sharply with her previous living situation: her Mom & step-father were super religious and her Mom later prohibited her daughter/GF from dating me - hence the move to Dad's place.

 

One nite, we discovered that my GF's 12 year old step-brother was watching us. Their bedroom shared a bathroom - it was in between the two bedrooms and could only be accessed from either bedroom. He was watching from the bathroom.

 

We later found out he had been doing this for several weeks; we focked every single nite there, sometimes twice a nite. Thus, he probably watched us having sex in every conceivable position - my GF was very accomodating.

 

I saw my former GF last year at a reunion. In catching up, she informed me that her step-brother, in addition to being a pilot, is also homosexual. I couldn't help but wonder what effect watching his step-sister and I had on him.

 

And that night you felt a finger slip into your ass . . . makes you wonder . . .