tony hardware 0 Posted October 26, 2006 Mine's always been pretty conventional. There was one girl where the air being forced in by my cack would make a "fart" type sound repeatedly and at first I didn't know what it was so I thought she was farting. I once passed out on a girl during sex. That kinda sucked. My roommate in college once woke up next to a girl who was so drunk she sh!t in the bed over the course of the night. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Edifice Of Shame 1 Posted October 26, 2006 The unexpected squirter before I had any idea what a squirter was Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Cdub100 3,474 Posted October 26, 2006 The knife fell out of the drawer, up the stairs and into her chest. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
jerryskids 5,461 Posted October 26, 2006 She actually said yes. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
joneo 537 Posted October 26, 2006 One time, at band camp, I stuck this girl's piccalo in her puszy. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
randandy 0 Posted October 26, 2006 The knife fell out of the drawer, up the stairs and into her chest. how does a knife "fall" out of a drawer? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Badmojo1006 0 Posted October 26, 2006 The Cat jumped up on the bed and sunk its claws into my butt I chased the cat around the house and my wife at the time just the cat survived in the garage for 2 months Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
randandy 0 Posted October 26, 2006 my mom opened the bathroom door. talk about wierd, my cack in one hand, her lotion in the other. im so glad im not thirty anymore. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Cdub100 3,474 Posted October 26, 2006 how does a knife "fall" out of a drawer? That's what made it so weird Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
joneo 537 Posted October 26, 2006 The biatch tore my mask off. #2 shovel came in handy. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
SUXBNME 1,368 Posted October 26, 2006 Honestly? Well, I can't tell the most honestly embarrassing thing that happened to me for two reasons. 1: It was after sex the next morning 2: It could possibly be construed as partially ghey (it wasn't) So I will say that this was the most embarrassing / funniest thing that ever happened (lately). We were in the middle of it, and switching positions when her dog, (a Palmerainian sp?) jumped up on the bed and started / tried to lick her down there The dog got a few licks off before she even realized that it was the dog, and not me (I think) Anyways, I started laughing my ass off, lost the boner, (obviously) and fell asleep. Sorry, but true story The girl in question is the one that some of you saw pictures of. (hot tub boobie thrusting girl) We both laugh about that night all the time (doggie lick night, that is) Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
TommyGavin 790 Posted October 26, 2006 actually farting on this broads boobs. Details? OK - she was laying on the bed and I had my knees up in her armpit and she was blowing me and my butt was right on her teets - (I mean I was sitting on her) and I let one go (not that I think I had a choice) and the sound that focker made was CRASSIC funniest farting noise I EVAH heard. Bad part of the story - I had to finish myself off - she went to sleep. and now me and your mom can laugh about it. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
GettnHuge 1 Posted October 26, 2006 a boom mic fell and hit her on the ass when I was gettin oral she was all Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
texasmouth 1 Posted October 26, 2006 My daughter knocked on the door asking for a drink of water, thankfully she didnt open the door, that would have been difficult to explain. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
GettnHuge 1 Posted October 26, 2006 My daughter knocked on the door asking for a drink of water, thankfully she didnt open the door, that would have been difficult to explain. she never did get my water Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
texasmouth 1 Posted October 26, 2006 she never did get my water Yeah....she's three you steroid pumping sicko....... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
edjr 5,784 Posted October 26, 2006 She was on top and a little piece of sh!t came out. After we were done it was dark and I felt around the bed and put my hand in it. I was like "WHAT THE FOCK IS THIS" she ran into the other room crying and locked herself in the bathroom. I was like "WHAT THE FOCK" yeah know, being real sensitive and all. She ends up telling me when she was born she was born with her a-hole messed up and she's had a bunch of surgeries in her life and sometimes it doesn't work correctly. Maybe you might want to WARN someone before you go sh!tting on them, just a thought. I literally focked the sh!t out of her. I guess. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
texasmouth 1 Posted October 26, 2006 She was on top and a little piece of sh!t came out. After we were done it was dark and I felt around the bed and put my hand in it. I was like "WHAT THE FOCK IS THIS" she ran into the other room crying and locked herself in the bathroom. I was like "WHAT THE FOCK" yeah know, being real sensitive and all. She ends up telling me when she was born she was born with her a-hole messed up and she's had a bunch of surgeries in her life and sometimes it doesn't work correctly. Maybe you might want to WARN someone before you go sh!tting on them, just a thought. I literally focked the sh!t out of her. I guess. One of the nastiest stories I have heard. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Chronic Husker 85 Posted October 26, 2006 She was on top and a little piece of sh!t came out. After we were done it was dark and I felt around the bed and put my hand in it. I was like "WHAT THE FOCK IS THIS" she ran into the other room crying and locked herself in the bathroom. I was like "WHAT THE FOCK" yeah know, being real sensitive and all. She ends up telling me when she was born she was born with her a-hole messed up and she's had a bunch of surgeries in her life and sometimes it doesn't work correctly. Maybe you might want to WARN someone before you go sh!tting on them, just a thought. I literally focked the sh!t out of her. I guess. Is there anyone who hasn't taken a crap on edger? Some of these are pretty good. In college, I got walked in on three separate occasions while my gf was giving me head. Once by my roommate, once by my next door neighbor, and once by my brother. I dunno why, but people figured they didn't have to knock before coming in my room. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
supermike80 1,357 Posted October 26, 2006 I would think the stories most of you sad lonely focks would tell would relate to having to buy a new keyboard after splooging all over it from reading posts from the attention wh0res on this bored.. Fess up..You had to have Mom buy youa new one and you were embarrassed. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
edjr 5,784 Posted October 26, 2006 One of the nastiest stories I have heard. Try living it. Just imagine the girl stands up, you feel something that shouldn't be on the back of your leg and you put your hand down there to feel around, not knowing what it is, getting it on your hand too. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Big Blue 06 195 Posted October 26, 2006 Halloween party about 5 years ago. I went with a couple of my guy friends and I met this girl at the party. Long story short, we ended up having sex in the laundry room of this house. Just after we finish, this dude walks in and sees this girl riding me. Turns out she was his girlfriend (I didn't know). Anyway, he was REALLY pissed at her, and just mildly pissed at me. We ended up being friends later and we're now in a FF league together. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
texasmouth 1 Posted October 26, 2006 Try living it. Just imagine the girl stands up, you feel something that shouldn't be on the back of your leg and you put your hand down there to feel around, not knowing what it is, getting it on your hand too. Where you still grossed out after you rubbed it all over yourself? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
golden eagles 0 Posted October 26, 2006 The unexpected squirter before I had any idea what a squirter was Same here, happened in college. I was like WTF was that!! Told some guy about it where I was working & he had a pron tape devoted to it Sort of cleared things up... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
30 Fat, Bald & Texan 5 Posted October 26, 2006 actually farting on this broads boobs. Details? OK - she was laying on the bed and I had my knees up in her armpit and she was blowing me and my butt was right on her teets - (I mean I was sitting on her) and I let one go (not that I think I had a choice) and the sound that focker made was CRASSIC funniest farting noise I EVAH heard. Bad part of the story - I had to finish myself off - she went to sleep. and now me and your mom can laugh about it. kinda like a motorboat? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
davebg 0 Posted October 26, 2006 Told some guy about it where I was working & he had a pron tape devoted to it Sort of cleared things up... Nothing like turning to a porno for some sexual edumacation. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
GettnHuge 1 Posted October 26, 2006 Yeah....she's three you steroid pumping sicko....... she said she was 5 Anyway, he was REALLY pissed at her, and just mildly pissed at me. We ended up being friends later and we're now in a FF league together. when you least expect it.. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
D'ohmer Simpson 0 Posted October 26, 2006 In college, I got walked in on three separate occasions while my gf was giving me head. Once by my roommate, once by my next door neighbor, and once by my brother. I dunno why, but people figured they didn't have to knock before coming in my room. Supposed to put a sock on the door handle. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
NewbieJr 541 Posted October 26, 2006 I got blood on my clown suit. Kids. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
babycakes 0 Posted October 26, 2006 I dunno why, but people figured they didn't have to knock before coming in my room. Your door didn't have a lock on it? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Chronic Husker 85 Posted October 26, 2006 Your door didn't have a lock on it? No, it didn't. Every time was the exact same. <door opens> "Umm......." <door closes> <GF finishes> Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
TommyGavin 790 Posted October 26, 2006 Still dating this fine woman? She was on top and a little piece of sh!t came out. After we were done it was dark and I felt around the bed and put my hand in it. I was like "WHAT THE FOCK IS THIS" she ran into the other room crying and locked herself in the bathroom. I was like "WHAT THE FOCK" yeah know, being real sensitive and all. She ends up telling me when she was born she was born with her a-hole messed up and she's had a bunch of surgeries in her life and sometimes it doesn't work correctly. Maybe you might want to WARN someone before you go sh!tting on them, just a thought. I literally focked the sh!t out of her. I guess. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
DaWeffa 0 Posted October 26, 2006 i was focking this chick in my room one time (we were hammered)....my friend walks in when he hears all the comotion....well....he didnt leave....he stayed and ended up in her other hole...we focked the $hit out of her for hours.... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
frank 2,177 Posted October 26, 2006 He escaped. I mean she! SHE! dammit Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
resser2 0 Posted October 26, 2006 i was focking this chick in my room one time (we were hammered)....my friend walks in when he hears all the comotion....well....he didnt leave....he stayed and ended up in her other hole...we focked the $hit out of her for hours.... Two Girls & One Guy = Great Two Guys & One Girl = Gay Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
phillybear 365 Posted October 26, 2006 She was on top and a little piece of sh!t came out. After we were done it was dark and I felt around the bed and put my hand in it. I was like "WHAT THE FOCK IS THIS" she ran into the other room crying and locked herself in the bathroom. I was like "WHAT THE FOCK" yeah know, being real sensitive and all. She ends up telling me when she was born she was born with her a-hole messed up and she's had a bunch of surgeries in her life and sometimes it doesn't work correctly. Maybe you might want to WARN someone before you go sh!tting on them, just a thought. I literally focked the sh!t out of her. I guess. The mysterious origins of Tubgirl finally revealed. Tonight. On the History Channel. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Recidivist 1 Posted October 26, 2006 The summer after my freshman year in college, my then GF was living with her Dad and step-mother. They were cool people. They totally condoned my coming over and boning their daughter whenever, which contrasted sharply with her previous living situation: her Mom & step-father were super religious and her Mom later prohibited her daughter/GF from dating me - hence the move to Dad's place. One nite, we discovered that my GF's 12 year old step-brother was watching us. Their bedroom shared a bathroom - it was in between the two bedrooms and could only be accessed from either bedroom. He was watching from the bathroom. We later found out he had been doing this for several weeks; we focked every single nite there, sometimes twice a nite. Thus, he probably watched us having sex in every conceivable position - my GF was very accomodating. I saw my former GF last year at a reunion. In catching up, she informed me that her step-brother, in addition to being a pilot, is also homosexual. I couldn't help but wonder what effect watching his step-sister and I had on him. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
phillybear 365 Posted October 26, 2006 The summer after my freshman year in college, my then GF was living with her Dad and step-mother. They were cool people. They totally condoned my coming over and boning their daughter whenever, which contrasted sharply with her previous living situation: her Mom & step-father were super religious and her Mom later prohibited her daughter/GF from dating me - hence the move to Dad's place. One nite, we discovered that my GF's 12 year old step-brother was watching us. Their bedroom shared a bathroom - it was in between the two bedrooms and could only be accessed from either bedroom. He was watching from the bathroom. We later found out he had been doing this for several weeks; we focked every single nite there, sometimes twice a nite. Thus, he probably watched us having sex in every conceivable position - my GF was very accomodating. I saw my former GF last year at a reunion. In catching up, she informed me that her step-brother, in addition to being a pilot, is also homosexual. I couldn't help but wonder what effect watching his step-sister and I had on him. And now you have a spiffy anecdote that one day you can tell your grandkids. About the time you turned a straight man into a h0m0.. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
resser2 0 Posted October 26, 2006 And now you have a spiffy anecdote that one day you can tell your grandkids. About the time you turned a straight man into a h0m0.. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
tony hardware 0 Posted October 26, 2006 The summer after my freshman year in college, my then GF was living with her Dad and step-mother. They were cool people. They totally condoned my coming over and boning their daughter whenever, which contrasted sharply with her previous living situation: her Mom & step-father were super religious and her Mom later prohibited her daughter/GF from dating me - hence the move to Dad's place. One nite, we discovered that my GF's 12 year old step-brother was watching us. Their bedroom shared a bathroom - it was in between the two bedrooms and could only be accessed from either bedroom. He was watching from the bathroom. We later found out he had been doing this for several weeks; we focked every single nite there, sometimes twice a nite. Thus, he probably watched us having sex in every conceivable position - my GF was very accomodating. I saw my former GF last year at a reunion. In catching up, she informed me that her step-brother, in addition to being a pilot, is also homosexual. I couldn't help but wonder what effect watching his step-sister and I had on him. And that night you felt a finger slip into your ass . . . makes you wonder . . . Share this post Link to post Share on other sites