George Carlin

[GettnHuge 1]

71 yrs young

[jerryskids 5,206]

[cgod 0]

 

ETA: I can totally imagine him having an obit recorded on video where he just comes on screen, looks at the camera, drops and F-bomb and walks off.

[Me_2006 14]

no way. seriously?

[Me_2006 14]

Apparently true.

 

 

LOS ANGELES (Reuters) - Comedian George Carlin, a counter-culture hero famed for his routines about drugs and dirty words, died of heart failure at a Los Angeles-area hospital on Sunday, a spokesman said. He was 71.

 

Carlin, who had a history of heart and drug-dependency problems, died at Saint John's Health Center in Santa Monica about 6 p.m. PDT (2 a.m. British time) after being admitted earlier in the afternoon for chest pains, spokesman Jeff Abraham told Reuters.

 

Known for his edgy, provocative material, Carlin achieved status as an anti-Establishment icon in the 1970s with stand-up bits full of drug references and a routine called "Seven Words You Can Never Say On Television." A regulatory battle over a radio broadcast of the routine ultimately reached the U.S. Supreme Court.

 

In the 1978 case, Federal Communications Commission vs. Pacifica Foundation, the top U.S. court ruled that the words cited in Carlin's routine were indecent, and that the government's broadcast regulator could ban them from being aired at times when children might be listening.

 

Carlin's comedic sensibility often came back to a central theme: humanity is doomed.

 

"I don't have any beliefs or allegiances. I don't believe in this country, I don't believe in religion, or a god, and I don't believe in all these man-made institutional ideas," he told Reuters in a 2001 interview.

 

Carlin, who wrote several books and performed in many television comedy specials, is survived by his wife Sally Wade, and daughter Kelly Carlin McCall.

 

(Reporting by Dean Goodman and Steve Gorman; Editing by Patricia Zengerle)

 

 

Link

[Voltaire 4,560]

That's one hillarious man, one of the best at making me laugh. Possibly my favoite comedian. It's sad that he died.

[GettnHuge 1]

101 Greatest George Carlin Quotes

 

By James A. on May 12th, 2007

 

1. I don’t have pet peeves — I have major psychotic ###### hatreds!

2. Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that.

3. Swimming is not a sport. Swimming is a way to keep from drowning. That’s just common sense!

4. A house is just a place to keep your stuff while you go out and get more stuff.

5. Have you ever noticed that their stuff is ###### and your ###### is stuff?

6. I wanna live. I don’t wanna die. That’s the whole meaning of life: Not dying! I figured that ###### out by myself in the third grade.

7. I used to be Irish Catholic. Now I’m an American — you know, you grow.

8. You can’t fight City Hall, but you can ###### sure blow it up.

9. If the Cincinnati Reds were really the first major league baseball team, who did they play?

10. Honesty may be the best policy, but it’s important to remember that apparently, by elimination, dishonesty is the second-best policy.

11. If it’s true that our species is alone in the universe, then I’d have to say that the universe aimed rather low and settled for very little.

12. No one knows what’s next, but everybody does it.

13. There are 400,000 words in the English language, and there are seven you can’t say on television. What a ratio that is! 399,993 to 7. They must really be baaaad. They must be OUTRAGEOUS to be separated from a group that large. “All of you words over here, you seven….baaaad words.” That’s what they told us, right? …You know the seven, don’t ya? That you can’t say on TV? ######, piss, ######, ######, cocksucker, motherfucker and ######.

14. The very existence of flamethrowers proves that sometime, somewhere, someone said to themselves, “You know, I want to set those people over there on fire, but I’m just not close enough to get the job done.”

15. The reason I talk to myself is because I’m the only one whose answers I accept.

16. Just when I discovered the meaning of life, they changed it.

17. Religion has convinced people that there’s an invisible man…living in the sky, who watches everything you do every minute of every day. And the invisible man has a list of ten specific things he doesn’t want you to do. And if you do any of these things, he will send you to a special place, of burning and fire and smoke and torture and anguish for you to live forever, and suffer and burn and scream until the end of time. But he loves you. He loves you and he needs money.

18. Weather forecast for tonight: Dark. Continued dark overnight, with widely scattered light by morning.

19. If it requires a uniform, it’s a worthless endeavor.

20. If you live long enough, sooner or later everybody you know has cancer.

21. You know the good part about all those executions in Texas? Fewer Texans.

22. Soft rock music isn’t rock, and it ain’t music. It’s just soft.

23. Reminds me of something my third-grade teacher said to us. She said, “You show me a tropical fruit and I’ll show you a cocksucker from Guatemala.”

24. As soon as someone is identified as an unsung hero, he no longer is.

25. If a movie is described as a romantic comedy, you can usually find me next door playing pinball.

26. The IQ and the life expectancy of the average American recently passed each other in opposite directions.

27. I knew a transsexual guy whose only ambition is to eat, drink, and be Mary.

28. I put a dollar in a change machine. Nothing changed.

29. If you’ve got a cat and a leg, you’ve got a happy cat. If you’ve got a cat and two legs, you’ve got a party.

30. You can ###### your finger — just don’t finger your ######.

31. By and large, language is a tool for concealing the truth.

32. Ever notice that anyone going slower than you is an idiot, but anyone going faster is a maniac?

33. Isn’t it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do “practice”?

34. I don’t like to think of laws as rules you have to follow, but more as suggestions.

35. I think it’s the duty of the comedian to find out where the line is drawn and cross it deliberately.

36. When you’re born you get a ticket to the freak show. When you’re born in America, you get a front-row seat.

37. Eventually, alas, I realized the main purpose of buying cocaine is to run out of it.

38. I never ###### a ten, but one night, I ###### five twos.

39. I never joined the Boy Scouts. I don’t trust any organization that has a handbook.

40. I would never want to be a member of a group whose symbol was a man nailed to two pieces of wood.

41. Have you noticed that most of the women who are against abortion are women you wouldn’t want to ###### in the first place? There’s such balance in nature.

42. So I say, “Live and let live.” That’s my motto. “Live and let live.” Anyone who can’t go along with that, take him outside and shoot the motherfucker. It’s a simple philosophy, but it’s always worked in our family.

43. Catholic — which I was until I reached the age of reason.

44. Here’s a bumper sticker I’d like to see: “We are the proud parents of a child who’s self-esteem is sufficient that he doesn’t need us promoting his minor scholastic achievements on the back of our car.”

45. I love and treasure individuals as I meet them; I loathe and despise the groups they identify with and belong to.

46. Beethoven was so hard of hearing, he thought he was a painter.

47. Don Ho can sign autographs 3.4 times faster than Efrem Zimbalist Jr.

48. God bless the homicidal maniacs. They make life worthwhile.

49. I’ve never seen a homeless guy with a bottle of Gatorade.

50. One great thing about getting old is that you can get out of all sorts of social obligations just by saying you’re too tired.

51. If Helen Keller had psychic ability, would you say she had a fourth sense?

52. What year did Jesus think it was?

53. George Washington’s brother, Lawrence, was the Uncle of Our Country.

54. Have you ever wondered why Republicans are so interested in encouraging people to volunteer in their communities? It’s because volunteers work for no pay. Republicans have been trying to get people to work for no pay for a long time.

55. In America, anyone can become president. That’s the problem.

56. Once you leave the womb, conservatives don’t care about you until you reach military age. Then you’re just what they’re looking for. Conservatives want live babies so they can raise them to be dead soldiers.

57. “One thing leads to another”? Not always. Sometimes one thing leads to the same thing. Ask an addict.

58. No one who has had “Taps” played for them has ever been able to hear it.

59. Property is theft. Nobody “owns” anything. When you die, it all stays here.

60. The best thing about living at the water’s edge: You only have ###### on three sides of you, and if they come this way you can hear them splash.

61. The future will soon be a thing of the past.

62. The planet is fine. The people are ######.

63. The real reason that we can’t have the Ten Commandments in a courthouse: You cannot post “Thou shalt not steal,” “Thou shalt not commit adultery,” and “Thou shalt not lie” in a building full of lawyers, judges, and politicians. It creates a hostile work environment.

64. Boxing is a more sophisticated form of hockey.

65. The only good thing ever to come out of religion was the music.

66. I think everyone should treat one another in a Christian manner. I will not, however, be responsible for the consequences.

67. Bowling is not a sport because you have to rent the shoes.

68. “When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops?” This title offends all three major religions, and even vegetarians!

69. Thou shalt keep thy religion to thyself.

70. And now, in the interest of equal time, here is a message from the National Institute of Pancakes: It reads, and I quote, “###### waffles.”

71. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

72. Whoever coined the term “Buyer Beware” was probably bleeding from the ######.

73. Cloud nine gets all the publicity, but cloud eight actually is cheaper, less crowded, and has a better view.

74. Have you ever noticed that the lawyer always smiles more than the client?

75. I’m always relieved when someone is delivering a eulogy and I realize I’m listening to it.

76. Just think, right now as you read this, some guy somewhere is gettin’ ready to hang himself.

77. The reason they call it the American Dream is because you have to be asleep to believe it.

78. If all our national holidays were observed on Wednesdays, we could wind up with nine-day weekends.

79. “Meow” means “woof” in cat.

80. Most people with low self-esteem have earned it.

81. Most people work just hard enough not to get fired and get paid just enough money not to quit.

82. “No comment” is a comment.

83. If a man smiles all the time, he’s probably selling something that doesn’t work.

84. You can’t argue with a good blowjob.

85. Most of the time people feel okay. Probably it’s because at the moment they’re not actually dying.

86. So far, this is the oldest I’ve been.

87. Instead of warning pregnant women not to drink, I think female alcoholics ought to be told not to ######.

88. Do you think Sammy Davis ate Junior Mints?

89. When you think about it, attention-deficit order makes a lot of sense. In this country there isn’t a lot worth paying attention to.

90. The Golden Gate Bridge should have a long bungee cord for people who aren’t quite ready to commit suicide but want to get in a little practice.

91. I think I am, therefore, I am. I think.

92. If the cops didn’t see it, I didn’t do it!

93. Hooray for most things!

94. Capitalism tries for a delicate balance: It attempts to work things out so that everyone gets just enough stuff to keep them from getting violent and trying to take other people’s stuff.

95. I don’t have a fear of heights. I do, however, have a fear of falling from heights.

96. What was the best thing before sliced bread?

97. May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house.

98. Life is a zero sum game.

99. Somehow I enjoy watching people suffer.

100. I have as much authority as the Pope. I just don’t have as many people who believe it.

101. It isn’t fair: the caterpillar does all the work, and the butterfly gets all the glory.

[jerryskids 5,206]

10. Honesty may be the best policy, but it’s important to remember that apparently, by elimination, dishonesty is the second-best policy.

I read about 1/4 of those quotes, but this, or a variation thereof, is my favorite Carlin quote.

[cgod 0]

After reading a lot of those quotes you have to appreciate the irony of him playing a bishop in Dogma.

[Me_2006 14]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3M5Xm5RYTRY...feature=related

 

 

 

classic.

[shotsup 832]

Shit - The bird shit on the statue.

Piss - I have to piss like a race horse.

Fuck - fuck you.

Cunt - She has a gorgeous cunt.

Cocksucker - Go to hell, you cocksucker.

Motherfucker - You are a motherfucker.

Tits - Hey, nice tits.

 

Later, Carlin referred to three additional "auxiliary" words:

 

Fart - I farted.

Turd - Who dropped a turd in the urinal?

Twat - Shave that hairy twat.

[tikigods 76]

54. Have you ever wondered why Republicans are so interested in encouraging people to volunteer in their communities? It’s because volunteers work for no pay. Republicans have been trying to get people to work for no pay for a long time.

 

[Thornton Melon 544]

"If the black box is the only thing that survives a plane crash, why don't they make the whole damn plane out of that stuff?"

 

"He was "legally drunk". If it's legal, what's the focking problem????"

 

"There oughtta be at least one round state."

 

RIP

[cgod 0]

You can get on the plane, I'm getting in the plane.

[edjr 5,567]

I had tickets to see him in a few weeks.

 

You all know how big of a fan I was of his.

 

I might have to leave work

[cgod 0]

I had tickets to see him in a few weeks.

 

You all know how big of a fan I was of his.

 

I might have to leave work

You should post in his honor for the rest of the day.

[edjr 5,567]

You should post in his honor for the rest of the day.

 

before I read this, I had already logged in as him and made a post.

[cgod 0]

before I read this, I had already logged in as him and made a post.

 

btw - had a friend of mine named ed come play softball the other night and some of the guys thought you were making a comeback.

[George Carlin 1]

 

btw - had a friend of mine named ed come play softball the other night and some of the guys thought you were making a comeback.

 

It would be a lot more fun in the b league, that's for sure.

[cgod 0]

It would be a lot more fun in the b league, that's for sure.

Yes, yes it is. The last two have been infinitely more fun than the whoopings of the previous 4.

[heavy-set 39]

its a death pool

 

not a dead pool

 

 

HTH

[yostevo 0]

In a strange coincidence, I started rereading his book (Brain Droppings) just last week that I've had for about 7 years. Truly hilarious and whether you agree with his humor or not, he was a brilliant guy.

 

T&Ps to his family.

[posty 2,296]

Not a big fan, but RIP George...

[NorthernVike 2,080]

Not a big fan, but RIP George...

 

 

I was begining to think I was the only one here that thout the same.

 

RIP George

[dain11279 928]

I'm gona smash a watermelon over his gravestone.

 

He would love it.

[George Carlin 1]

I was begining to think I was the only one here that thout the same.

 

RIP George

 

Posty is completely humorless, what is your excuse?

[George Carlin 1]

I'm gona smash a watermelon over his gravestone.

 

He would love it.

 

Are you going to dress up as Gallagher too?

[NorthernVike 2,080]

Posty is completely humorless, what is your excuse?

 

 

In the 70's and 80's your schtick was funny. After that not so much. Went to see you live in about 91' My girlfriend at the time actualy fell asleep during the show

[George Carlin 1]

In the 70's and 80's your schtick was funny. After that not so much. Went to see you live in about 91' My girlfriend at the time actualy fell asleep during the show

 

In 1991 edjr went to one of my shows and fell asleep too. He left saying it was one of the worst shows he had ever seen in his life. edjr later in life realized he was far too immature to understand my humor. the older edjr got, the more he appreciated what I had to say. it takes a certain sense of humor and wisdom to understand a lot of my comedy.

[patweisers44 697]

In the 70's and 80's your schtick was funny. After that not so much. Went to see you live in about 91' My girlfriend at the time actualy fell asleep during the show

I saw him a few years back and was incredibly disappointed. This time his whole show was bad political rants and/or semi-funny jokes. If i wanted that i could have just logged in here.

[NorthernVike 2,080]

I saw him a few years back and was incredibly disappointed. This time his whole show was bad political rants and/or semi-funny jokes. If i wanted that i could have just logged in here.

 

 

Now thats funny

[Big Blue 06 195]

I was begining to think I was the only one here that thout the same.

 

RIP George

 

Same here. This will not affect me at all.

[wiffleball 4,642]

I saw him a few years back and was incredibly disappointed. This time his whole show was bad political rants and/or semi-funny jokes. If i wanted that i could have just logged in here.

 

Funny, I had the same experience in Vegas. I was really bummed because it may have been the first (and definitely last) think all three of us brothers did together. Certainly the first in at least 30 years.

 

Seemed like he was either

 

1) Working on this stuff for a new show or

 

2) Just sick of doing the same crap 2 times a night every focking night in Vegas.

 

I was hoping it was #1. But it sure seemed like a bunch of #2. (I made a funny)

 

Either way, there's no denying the guy's genius. He had some amazing lines - a true original.

 

Also probably no denying that if there's an after life, George feels really focking uncomfortable right now.

 

"Uh, Just Kidding"??

[wiffleball 4,642]

Don Ho can sign autographs 3.4 times faster than Efrem Zimbalist Jr.

 

[yostevo 0]

Also probably no denying that if there's an after life, George feels really focking uncomfortable right now.

 

"Uh, Just Kidding"??

 

George is probably emptying God's septic tank as we speak.

[dain11279 928]

Are you going to dress up as Gallagher too?

 

Yup. My stache is gonna rock.

[lambert58 56]

NOOOOOOO!!

 

 

I am saddened by this news. Even though Carlin was still very much relevent today, it was when I was young that he was so cutting edge. The early to mid-seventies had Pryor and Carlin and not much else... I loved his HBO shows and wished I had the chance to watch him live. Those who did not find him funny have that right but there is no denying that he was at the forefront of changing comedy forever. Lenny Bruce and Red Foxx might have been the leaders of the group but Pryor and Carlin brought it to the mainstream and made it so that everyone would listen instead of just a few.

 

 

One of his classics..

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YphEUa5LPjM

[Franknbeans 46]

Considering how hard it is to write good material, his work is prodigious. Truly one of a kind.

[GettnHuge 1]

its a death pool

 

not a dead pool

HTH

 

wiki

A dead pool, also known as a death pool, death watch or ghoul pool, is a game of prediction which involves guessing when someone will die.

 

Sometimes it is a bet where money is involved. The combination of dead or death and betting-pool, refers to such a gambling arrangement. A typical modern dead pool might have players pick out celebrities who they think will die within the year. Most games start on January 1, and run for 12 months although there are some variations on game length and timing.

[IGotWorms 3,315]

He was the sh!t 20-30 years ago. I actually saw him about 10 years ago and he wasn't very funny, but hey, it is hard to stay on top for that long. I will miss him and his older stuff.