I Need A Ruling

[BunnysBastatrds 2,450]

Me, Wifey, and Teen Bunny share a main bathroom. The toillet seat has had to be replaced every other year for the past few years. The three of us use this BR a lot. A few days ago I went to take a number two and noticed that the seat was broken again. I buy the most expensive seat you can buy as I like comfort. I've learned that buying Chinese made crap doesnt effect the crap we crap on apparently. So I got off the crapper and asked who broke the crapper? Me: Who broke the seat. No big deal. It's Chinese made crap! Mrs Bunny: Not me. Teeny Bunny: Not me. Me: Ok fine. I'm going to Home Depot. Do we need anything else? Mrs. Bunny: Buy a seat that can accomodate a fawt wide ass like mine. And some spider venom. And some cleaning products. (She didn't ask for cleaning products. I made that up. I wish she would get stoned and ask me that one day as I sell a shitload of coke like the movie)

 

So I go to Home Depot without my glasses and buy the biggest most expensive seat they have. I figured all toilets are the same. I go back home and install the fawker before bed-time. After my daughter uses the toilet she comes out laughing. Mrs. Bunny walks in and comes out b!tching. Mrs. Bunny: That seat is two inches longer and wider than it should be. WTF! Are you going to leave this one or replace it? Somebodys gonna piss between that gap" Me: Ooooooops. I didn't have my glasses. I thought it was standard. When I put it together I didn't raise the lid so it looked ok. I'll bring it back tomorrow and get another one. I thought you wanted a big one BTW? Mrs. Bunny looked at me, shot the stink eye, and without saying a werd went to bed.

 

Did I cross the line here? It was an innocent mistake on my part to buy the "big one". I'm drunk and confused now.

[Chronic Husker 85]

 

ETA-------> I've never given BB credit for shiot but this is the best geek club story since jets24 let the ruhtard drive the golf cart.

 

And that was a ways back.

 

[SUXBNME 1,515]

I don't get it

Then again, I've never been married

 

 

Also, TeenBunnys can size?

[SUXBNME 1,515]

 

ETA-------> I've never given BB credit for shiot but this is the best geek club story since jets24 let the ruhtard drive the golf cart.

 

And that was a ways back.

 

Fortunate or unfortunate, BB is one of the funniest posters here.

[Chronic Husker 85]

Fortunate or unfortunate, BB is one of the funniest posters here.

The Heineken hooker story was good but this is up there. Not OMN choking to death on pizza while he's worrying about his mom finding his porn box, but I hope BBs story revitalizes geek club personal anecdotes.

 

We need way more of this.

 

[Reality 3,121]

Me, Wifey, and Teen Bunny share a main bathroom. The toillet seat has had to be replaced every other year for the past few years. The three of us use this BR a lot. A few days ago I went to take a number two and noticed that the seat was broken again. I buy the most expensive seat you can buy as I like comfort. I've learned that buying Chinese made crap doesnt effect the crap we crap on apparently. So I got off the crapper and asked who broke the crapper? Me: Who broke the seat. No big deal. It's Chinese made crap! Mrs Bunny: Not me. Teeny Bunny: Not me. Me: Ok fine. I'm going to Home Depot. Do we need anything else? Mrs. Bunny: Buy a seat that can accomodate a fawt wide ass like mine. And some spider venom. And some cleaning products. (She didn't ask for cleaning products. I made that up. I wish she would get stoned and ask me that one day as I sell a shitload of coke like the movie)

 

So I go to Home Depot without my glasses and buy the biggest most expensive seat they have. I figured all toilets are the same. I go back home and install the fawker before bed-time. After my daughter uses the toilet she comes out laughing. Mrs. Bunny walks in and comes out b!tching. Mrs. Bunny: That seat is two inches longer and wider than it should be. WTF! Are you going to leave this one or replace it? Somebodys gonna piss between that gap" Me: Ooooooops. I didn't have my glasses. I thought it was standard. When I put it together I didn't raise the lid so it looked ok. I'll bring it back tomorrow and get another one. I thought you wanted a big one BTW? Mrs. Bunny looked at me, shot the stink eye, and without saying a werd went to bed.

 

Did I cross the line here? It was an innocent mistake on my part to buy the "big one". I'm drunk and confused now.

 

 

Yea, you fuked up.

 

She can say it but, you can't. You know this.

[Voltaire 5,317]

:lol:

 

You'll never live this down. Ever.

[BunnysBastatrds 2,450]

:lol:

 

You'll never live this down. Ever.

 

 

I know! Damnit to fawk.

[shotsup 832]

I'm drunk and confused now.

 

There's a shocker !

 

Buy the one that self closes - more or less you tap it and it eases it's way closed. No more slamming lids in the middle of the night

[Patriotsfatboy1 1,432]

There's a shocker !

 

Buy the one that self closes - more or less you tap it and it eases it's way closed. No more slamming lids in the middle of the night

That is more if you have young boys. That is what I got for our downstairs bathroom. It works great.

 

BB has a family of CBF's. I think that they may want to graduate to no seat at all. Just use the focking bowl as your seat. Those wide asses aren't going to fall through and you save some dough. Problem solved.

[Giants Fan 85]

I didn't read it ... but my ruling is:

 

Ghey

[420allstars 13]

wait......... you returned a tolite seat you fockers used!

 

 

gross...

[Riddlen 1]

toilet seats break? are you kidding me?

[kutulu 1,680]

Teach them the High Altitude Bomber method.

[shovelheadt 71]

toilet seats break? are you kidding me?

 

My guess is he's buying wooden ones as I've never seen a plastic one break.

[Mungwater 597]

Can you actually return a toilet seat after its been installed? That's nasty.

[TimmySmith 2,782]

Something smells here.

[OldMaid 2,130]

I think the best part of this story has been vastly overlooked...

 

YOU NEED GLASSES TO TELL THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A STANDARD AND ELONGATED TOLIET SEAT???

[jerryskids 6,827]

My guess is he's buying wooden ones as I've never seen a plastic one break.

I broke a plastic one. I only weigh 170 but I plopped down on it when my foot was broke.

[The Elevator Killer 564]

 

Did I cross the line here? It was an innocent mistake on my part to buy the "big one".

 

I see dead people.

 

[Franknbeans 46]

morally wrong

[BunnysBastatrds 2,450]

wait......... you returned a tolite seat you fockers used!

 

 

gross...

 

 

I will be returning it this evening. All three of us have taken a sh!t with it if my nose is correct.

 

 

I think the best part of this story has been vastly overlooked...

 

YOU NEED GLASSES TO TELL THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A STANDARD AND ELONGATED TOLIET SEAT???

 

 

I got sidetracked by a hottie in yoga pants (34B) asking me for advice about her toilet seat.

 

 

My guess is he's buying wooden ones as I've never seen a plastic one break.

 

]

 

this is the one that broke Wooden toilet seats? Last thing I need is wifey getting splinters on her ass.

[MDC 7,484]

Does fawt mean fat and hot?

[420allstars 13]

 

I got sidetracked by a hottie in yoga pants (34B)

 

 

 

Ok forget the whole tolite seat story, lets hear more about the hottie in Yoga pants...

[shotsup 832]

Ok forget the whole tolite seat story, lets hear more about the hottie in Yoga pants...

 

Gawd Bless Yoga pants

[IGotWorms 4,058]

Gawd Bless Yoga pants

 

[420allstars 13]

Gawd Bless Yoga pants

 

 

yummy

[Recliner Pilot 61]

Gawd Bless Yoga pants

http://thechive.com/2012/04/13/its-yoga-oclock-somewhere-amiright/

[BunnysBastatrds 2,450]

Does fawt mean fat and hot?

 

 

It's all in the eye of the beholder. And I love giving her over the shoulder bolder holders.

[The Elevator Killer 564]

Ok forget the whole tolite seat story, lets hear more about the hottie in Yoga pants...

 

That's because he meant Yogi pants. Isn't that right Boo Boo?

[Reality 3,121]

http://thechive.com/2012/04/13/its-yoga-oclock-somewhere-amiright/

 

Thank you.

[BunnysBastatrds 2,450]

Ok forget the whole tolite seat story, lets hear more about the hottie in Yoga pants...

 

 

She was walking aimlessly through the plumbing department looking for help in these incredibly tight purple yoga pants and yoga top. Her long brown hair was pulled into a pony tail and you could tell she had just finished working out as her hair was still sweaty. She walked past me a couple of times as I was trying to select the perfect toilet seat, without my glasses, when she asked me if I knew anything about bathroom sink faucets. She asked me with this sly "I'm hawt and you know it and how could you say anything but yes" smile and I obliged. I was in no hurry and was honored to help a a hawtie out. Me: What are you looking to do? Replacing an old faucet or are you upgrading to a new one? Yoga Pants: Looking for a new one. My old one doesnt work like it use to. :boner: Me: Kohler makes a really good faucet. They come standard but also have different sizes. Do you know how many knobs it has and what size base and spout? Yoga Pants: I took a picture. Give me a sec. So she shows me a picture and it's a standard faucet/hot-cold. So I point us in the right direction and tell her which size she needs. . She finds the one she wants and thanks me with a smile, a wink, and little extra shake with those fries as she walked away.

 

 

Note: This kind of sh!t happens to me all the time since I got married. It's all innocent but sometimes it's too funny. I'm happily married and I get the feeling they know it and are just having fun at my expense.

 

Also, the plumbing department at Home Depot sucks ass. I've never been there in the evening and gotten any decent help. I've heard that a great place to meet womens is at the grocery store. Fawk that. They always have wemens at Home Depot and some of them have that look on their faces like "Why won't anybody help me?" I worked at Hoseworks when I got out of high school and learned a very valuable lesson making $3.75 an hour: Wemens love when you help them and you are sincere about it. Met more wemen there than any other job I ever had.

[NorthernVike 2,087]

http://thechive.com/2012/04/13/its-yoga-oclock-somewhere-amiright/

[The Elevator Killer 564]

 

 

Also, the plumbing department at Home Depot sucks ass. I've never been there in the evening and gotten any decent help.

 

Maybe they are busy restocking used toillet seats.

 

[jerryskids 6,827]

She was walking aimlessly through the plumbing department looking for help in these incredibly tight purple yoga pants and yoga top. Her long brown hair was pulled into a pony tail and you could tell she had just finished working out as her hair was still sweaty. She walked past me a couple of times as I was trying to select the perfect toilet seat, without my glasses, when she asked me if I knew anything about bathroom sink faucets. She asked me with this sly "I'm hawt and you know it and how could you say anything but yes" smile and I obliged. I was in no hurry and was honored to help a a hawtie out. Me: What are you looking to do? Replacing an old faucet or are you upgrading to a new one? Yoga Pants: Looking for a new one. My old one doesnt work like it use to. :boner: Me: Kohler makes a really good faucet. They come standard but also have different sizes. Do you know how many knobs it has and what size base and spout? Yoga Pants: I took a picture. Give me a sec. So she shows me a picture and it's a standard faucet/hot-cold. So I point us in the right direction and tell her which size she needs. . She finds the one she wants and thanks me with a smile, a wink, and little extra shake with those fries as she walked away.

 

 

Note: This kind of sh!t happens to me all the time since I got married. It's all innocent but sometimes it's too funny. I'm happily married and I get the feeling they know it and are just having fun at my expense.

 

Also, the plumbing department at Home Depot sucks ass. I've never been there in the evening and gotten any decent help. I've heard that a great place to meet womens is at the grocery store. Fawk that. They always have wemens at Home Depot and some of them have that look on their faces like "Why won't anybody help me?" I worked at Hoseworks when I got out of high school and learned a very valuable lesson making $3.75 an hour: Wemens love when you help them and you are sincere about it. Met more wemen there than any other job I ever had.

I call bullshiot on a hottie in yoga pants needing help at Home Depot from a customer. Every time I go there, the helpers are climbing over each other to help the hot chicks, which is why I don't ever get help.

[NorthernVike 2,087]

I call bullshiot on a hottie in yoga pants needing help at Home Depot from a customer. Every time I go there, the helpers are climbing over each other to help the hot chicks, which is why I don't ever get help.

Meybe you should try wearing yoga pants next time you go there.

[The Elevator Killer 564]

Meybe you should try wearing yoga pants next time you go there.

 

\

[IGotWorms 4,058]

Meybe you should try wearing yoga pants next time you go there.

 

I dunno, I bet jerry's bum looks pretty cute in a pair of jorts.

 

 

 

[Blitzen 0]

I call bullshiot on a hottie in yoga pants needing help at Home Depot from a customer. Every time I go there, the helpers are climbing over each other to help the hot chicks, which is why I don't ever get help.

 

There are helpers at Home Depot? Most of the people who work there know less than I do about renos.

[BunnysBastatrds 2,450]

I call bullshiot on a hottie in yoga pants needing help at Home Depot from a customer. Every time I go there, the helpers are climbing over each other to help the hot chicks, which is why I don't ever get help.

 

 

After 6:00 PM you can't find any help at the Home Depot near my house. The plumbing department is the worst. If you know anything about plumbing, why would you work there and not as a plumber or plumbers helper making at least twice as much as you would at HD? The people in plumbing will tell you they don't know what they are talking about most of the time and were moved there from another department. The paint department and garden department are where the helpers are.