What's the longest you've gone without - ya know

[wiffleball 4,797]

I'm heading into my third month now. That can't be normal. I mean sure, being surrounded by 37 crucifixes and whatnot CAN'T be a turn-on, but still.

 

(insert priest joke here)

 

 

And seriously? Not that I've been out a LOT - and I'm sure there are hot chicks in the city, but here in the Burbs? - I guess it's the ability to wear sweaters and hoodies 8 months out of the year, but the best I can say is "Meh" - And trust me, I ain' that picky.

 

These girls just do NOT give a carp about how they look or dress, how they do their hair, make up, - I mean damn... It's pretty slim pickins.

[frank 2,353]

You don't have to worry about me. I won a contest.

[CantTouchThis 23]

9 days just recently while on vacation for the holidays with the family. It's one of the reasons I kind of wanted to come back. It's the longest I can remember. I don't do it every single day, but more than 3 days and I start to get irritable. Definitely couldn't go 3 months. By then I imagine I would start having wet dreams again

[lickin_starfish 2,027]

It's been about a week right now. I don't really care either. I've been with my wife for almost fifteen years, and her little grizzle ###### and fat stomach are a turn off. So are the flaky psoriasis patches.

 

I'd rather just jerk off at this point.

[wiffleball 4,797]

I'd rather just jerk off at this point.

 

Actually that's what the thread's about.

[lickin_starfish 2,027]

Oh.

 

I crank out a couple every day, and dream of how my life could have been.

[IGotWorms 4,063]

And seriously? Not that I've been out a LOT - and I'm sure there are hot chicks in the city, but here in the Burbs? - I guess it's the ability to wear sweaters and hoodies 8 months out of the year, but the best I can say is "Meh" - And trust me, I ain' that picky.

 

These girls just do NOT give a carp about how they look or dress, how they do their hair, make up, - I mean damn... It's pretty slim pickins.

 

Most of the West is like that. You think Denver's bad? Check out places like Seattle and Portland.

 

They're just as good looking as women elsewhere though. You just have to get over expecting expensive hairdoes and layers and layers of makeup.

[wiffleball 4,797]

 

You just have to get over expecting expensive hairdoes and layers and layers of makeup.

 

No, that's Dallas. Houston chicks are more natural. Honestly, I think it's a combo: 1) Dry air and 2) Being able to hide behind hoodies and sweaters.

 

But I agree that there are hot chicks everywhere - Maybe not as many, mind you. But I have to keep reminding myself I'm in the 'burbs - which is a whole 'nother world than I'm used to.

[Frozenbeernuts 2,423]

I'm heading into my third month now. That can't be normal. I mean sure, being surrounded by 37 crucifixes and whatnot CAN'T be a turn-on, but still.

 

(insert priest joke here)

 

 

And seriously? Not that I've been out a LOT - and I'm sure there are hot chicks in the city, but here in the Burbs? - I guess it's the ability to wear sweaters and hoodies 8 months out of the year, but the best I can say is "Meh" - And trust me, I ain' that picky.

 

These girls just do NOT give a carp about how they look or dress, how they do their hair, make up, - I mean damn... It's pretty slim pickins.

There are so many chicks thay dont give a fock. Look at how many fatties there are. Chicks used to do everything they could to look good and now they care more about their next meal than impressing us. God i hate fat chicks.

[jerryskids 7,174]

Most of the West is like that. You think Denver's bad? Check out places like Seattle and Portland.

 

They're just as good looking as women elsewhere though. You just have to get over expecting expensive hairdoes and layers and layers of makeup.

Maybe the northwest. The southwest, not so much.

 

As to the OP: Once as a teen I succumbed to Catholic guilt and went a few months. Finally I was with some chick who gave me a HJ, and it was the longest I had evah taken to finish. It was like my body forgot how. Since then I've never gone more than a week or so without shooting a load.

[Frozenbeernuts 2,423]

If your future self from 5 minutes in the future went back in time and gave you a hand job would it be gay?

[shotsup 836]

I've been with my wife for almost fifteen years

 

So you don't lick her starfish anymore ?

[tikigods 77]

About three hours.

[shotsup 836]

About three hours.

 

That's hardcore

 

:nopunintended:

[IGotWorms 4,063]

Maybe the northwest. The southwest, not so much.

 

As to the OP: Once as a teen I succumbed to Catholic guilt and went a few months. Finally I was with some chick who gave me a HJ, and it was the longest I had evah taken to finish. It was like my body forgot how. Since then I've never gone more than a week or so without shooting a load.

 

Isn't Colorado in the Southwest?

 

And I can say for sure that New Mexico chicks don't get all gussied up either.

 

Now Arizona, I don't really know. The only time I've been there was spending a few days in Tucson when I was a wee lad.

[Frozenbeernuts 2,423]

Isn't Colorado in the Southwest?

 

And I can say for sure that New Mexico chicks don't get all gussied up either.

 

Now Arizona, I don't really know. The only time I've been there was spending a few days in Tucson when I was a wee lad.

I ran into a bunch of hores in Arizona when I was down there for bike week. That is probably the exception though, and they weren't all dressed up either.

[titans&bucs&bearsohmy! 2,745]

The secks? Longest dry spell is about five years. Currently riding about a Two year dry spell, I've lost count, could be three.

 

Jerking it? Almost daily.

[IGotWorms 4,063]

The secks? Longest dry spell is about five years. Currently riding about a Two year dry spell, I've lost count, could be three.

 

Jerking it? Almost daily.

 

You haven't gotten laid in two years? Aren't you married?

[titans&bucs&bearsohmy! 2,745]

You haven't gotten laid in two years? Aren't you married?

 

Yes. Shakily so obviously.

[IGotWorms 4,063]

Yes. Shakily so obviously.

 

I'm sorry to hear that. Dry spells are obviously going to happen in just about any marriage, but two years must really suck.

[MDC 8,048]

Yes. Shakily so obviously.

 

That focking sucks. I know it's harder when you're married with kids but if me and the Mrs. go more than a week or so I just go upstairs and take it, fock if she's in the mood.

[titans&bucs&bearsohmy! 2,745]

That focking sucks. I know it's harder when you're married with kids but if me and the Mrs. go more than a week or so I just go upstairs and take it, fock if she's in the mood.

 

Honestly, I've stored giving a damn. Frankly, I'd probably turn her down if she offered at this point.

[tikigods 77]

Honestly, I've stored giving a damn. Frankly, I'd probably turn her down if she offered at this point.

 

Didn't she have a heart attack a while ago?

[MDC 8,048]

Honestly, I've stored giving a damn. Frankly, I'd probably turn her down if she offered at this point.

 

Every marriage has rough spells but at two years you'd be fully justified IMO in issuing an ultimatum: either divorce or you're allowed to get some on the side. There are websites out there for horny married people in your situation. God bless my friend.

[titans&bucs&bearsohmy! 2,745]

Didn't she have a heart attack a while ago?

 

She has heart problems, yes. E had unemployment and accompanying financial problems,a live in elderly relative sicken and die, and just a whole bunch of crap happen in the last coulee if years... We have yet to recover relationship wise. It had come down to "lets get a divorce" several tunes, most recently this weekend. Of course, that isn't really economically possible anyway, so we keep trying. I'm finding it harder and harder to care what happens.

 

Sorry wiff, didn't mean to hijack your thread with my whiny crap.

[tikigods 77]

She has heart problems, yes. E had unemployment and accompanying financial problems,a live in elderly relative sicken and die, and just a whole bunch of crap happen in the last coulee if years... We have yet to recover relationship wise. It had come down to "lets get a divorce" several tunes, most recently this weekend. Of course, that isn't really economically possible anyway, so we keep trying. I'm finding it harder and harder to care what happens.

 

Sorry wiff, didn't mean to hijack your thread with my whiny crap.

 

I'm really sorry to hear that. I hope everything works out, TBBOM.

[wiffleball 4,797]

She has heart problems, yes. E had unemployment and accompanying financial problems,a live in elderly relative sicken and die, and just a whole bunch of crap happen in the last coulee if years... We have yet to recover relationship wise. It had come down to "lets get a divorce" several tunes, most recently this weekend. Of course, that isn't really economically possible anyway, so we keep trying. I'm finding it harder and harder to care what happens.

 

Sorry wiff, didn't mean to hijack your thread with my whiny crap.

 

 

Hey man, you're not jacking anything - Well, um, err, nevermind... My bad.

 

No worries. You know I've asked about you and yours many times. That sux. I've thought a lot about you guys even whilst I was away.

 

Which is a prime example as to why I've said I know that many of you are going through worse than I am.

 

Sure, me and Mom haven't had the secks in a while, but it hasn't been...

 

Sorry, can't go there. (think I just frew up in mah mouf a lil bit)

 

 

Hoping all works out for ya man. One way or the other.

[listen2me 23 1,963]

The secks? Longest dry spell is about five years. Currently riding about a Two year dry spell, I've lost count, could be three.

 

Jerking it? Almost daily.

[gocolts 300]

Yes. Shakily so obviously.

My ex wife turned me into a sexual camel. I was lucky to get it once a year the last few years of our marriage.

 

She was such a hoe, I thought sex would never really be a problem with her when we were first married. Hell, I use to get a good luck BJ every Sunday morning before the games. Once we were married, they stopped completely. After a few years without a BJ, I asked her what the problem was. She started crying and said she was just lazy. LOL

 

I am on a streak of 5 years without some twat right now. NEVER went anywhere near this long since I was 15. Hell, up until I was married, I never went more than 2 weeks without some poon.

[MDC 8,048]

[shotsup 836]

The secks? Longest dry spell is about five years. Currently riding about a Two year dry spell, I've lost count, could be three.

 

Jerking it? Almost daily.

 

No wonder why you are a misrible ######

[Frozenbeernuts 2,423]

That focking sucks. I know it's harder when you're married with kids but if me and the Mrs. go more than a week or so I just go upstairs and take it, fock if she's in the mood.

Do you take it while wearing that big cross? I bet she loves it when it smacks her in the face.

[dain11279 985]

The secks? Yesterday morning :highfive:

 

Jerking? Yikes, been a few days now. Even though I'm at work, I'll be right back

[Patriotsfatboy1 1,433]

I guess there are times when the Mrs. and I go a week without the secks, particularly if the front door is being painted.

 

I might go a few days without whacking it, but I don't want to get backed up. It is unhealthy to keep all of that poison inside of you.

[southcarolina 166]

Sometimes i make it 5 or 6 posts.

[jerryskids 7,174]

She has heart problems, yes. E had unemployment and accompanying financial problems,a live in elderly relative sicken and die, and just a whole bunch of crap happen in the last coulee if years... We have yet to recover relationship wise. It had come down to "lets get a divorce" several tunes, most recently this weekend. Of course, that isn't really economically possible anyway, so we keep trying. I'm finding it harder and harder to care what happens.

 

Sorry wiff, didn't mean to hijack your thread with my whiny crap.

Dood, have you two gone to a marriage counselor? If not, make an appointment ASAP. It sounds like you two went for such a long time without it (due to all of the other crap) that you drifted apart. There is no shame in seeing a counselor to get back on track.

 

Which reminds me, while I'm playing junior counselor here: sometimes behaviors drive attitudes. If you and the wife say "dadblammit we're going to do it tonight even if it is the most awkward, uncomfortable experience evah" it might break the ice and help things.

[NewbieJr 541]

In the last few years of my marriage, it wasn't uncommon to go months without sex. Nowadays, there isn't a week that my GF and I don't do it at least five times.

[Patriotsfatboy1 1,433]

Maybe I am wrong, but I think that having the secks is one of the few benefits of marriage.

[southcarolina 166]

I am now enduring the third drought of my relationship with the wife. The first one was the first 11 months of us dating. She was a virgin and had to be sure i was "the one" . We still fooled around some, just no intercourse. This wasnt so bad.

 

 

The second after our first son, she got on the Depriveya Preventera birth control shot. Thank magical cats that the internet pr0n had been invented. Lasted about 18 months.I got nothing, and i hated it.

 

 

Third drought has been going on for about 2 years. We still do the deed occasionally, but its got to be 100% initiated by me, and i do all the work. Its really really close to not being worth doing. Id say we've had intercourse less than 10 times in the last 2 years. Still do the pr0n thing, but kids are older, and the house isnt all that private. Im about 90% in the same boat as TTBOMMO's boat......in that its gotten to the point where i dont give a sh!t anymore.We were never the MOST sexual couple, maybe 4-5 times a month at our peak ( a lot of that had to do with my work schedule) but i always figured i'd get some payoff when we got older. Divorce isnt an option ive considered at all, but 5 years ago, if presented with an opportunity to stray, there would have been about a 1% chance i would have,. Now, i would call it more 50/50. Five years ago i would have told you 100% that i thought our marriage would survive until one of our deaths. Now, im starting to wonder if she is having an affair. The thought creeps in. I cant help it. I mean how could anyone NOT want to have sex with me? I am freeking awesome, and a Fantasy Football champion too!

[Patriotsfatboy1 1,433]

If your wife is not putting out, then there are a few things I know of to consider:

1. Have her hormone levels checked out by a doctor. Low testosterone in women can inhibit their sex drive

2. Women need an emotional connection to find you attractive. If you are not talking to her or paying attention, you are not going to get a BJ or be allowed to throw it to her

3. Try changing it up periodically. If you have been married for a while, the same old act gets boring for you and her

4. Maybe she does not feel sexy anymore. If she plumped up, she might not want to get nekkid.

5. Maybe you aren't attractive anymore. If you plumped up, she might not want to see you nekkid.

6. She is probably blowing some other dude.