I have d1ck cancer

[penultimatestraw 473]

 

This is one of the best sentences I've ever read on the geek bored. The combination of professional clinical language and vulgar vernacular is excellent.

You can thank years of training, both in the hospital and on the streets, yo

[penultimatestraw 473]

Thanks Doc, good info. A few things:

1. The burning sensation is at the tip, not where the batter is made.

2. Haven't done the anal in years.

3. Hopefully two weeks does the trick. I see him in 3.

OK, probably just your urethra then. Either a UTI or STI.

[MDC 5,892]

Are they going to amputate your head?

[jerryskids 5,206]

OK, probably just your urethra then. Either a UTI or STI.

 

Thanks, I appreciate the input. I'd be surprised if they don't test for an STI -- they were able to detect the white blood cells in the office, but she said they were sending my urine out for analysis. According to the internet you can detect those two STIs you mentioned from a urine sample generally.

 

If it is an STI, that's going to make for some uncomfortable conversations in the jerryskids household.

 

Also, my 17 yr old daughter seems to have a UTI now (fever, burning sensation); she is going to go see the same NP tomorrow. Don't even go there. But seriously, is there some sort of weird airborne thing that can cause this? Why is everyone in my family getting a UTI? (I said don't go there).

[mmmmm...beer 691]

 

Thanks, I appreciate the input. I'd be surprised if they don't test for an STI -- they were able to detect the white blood cells in the office, but she said they were sending my urine out for analysis. According to the internet you can detect those two STIs you mentioned from a urine sample generally.

 

If it is an STI, that's going to make for some uncomfortable conversations in the jerryskids household.

 

Also, my 17 yr old daughter seems to have a UTI now (fever, burning sensation); she is going to go see the same NP tomorrow. Don't even go there. But seriously, is there some sort of weird airborne thing that can cause this? Why is everyone in my family getting a UTI? (I said don't go there).

 

/sadvagina

[penultimatestraw 473]

 

Thanks, I appreciate the input. I'd be surprised if they don't test for an STI -- they were able to detect the white blood cells in the office, but she said they were sending my urine out for analysis. According to the internet you can detect those two STIs you mentioned from a urine sample generally.

 

If it is an STI, that's going to make for some uncomfortable conversations in the jerryskids household.

 

Also, my 17 yr old daughter seems to have a UTI now (fever, burning sensation); she is going to go see the same NP tomorrow. Don't even go there. But seriously, is there some sort of weird airborne thing that can cause this? Why is everyone in my family getting a UTI? (I said don't go there).

Yep, common STI causes of urethritis can be detected from a urine sample, not a pipe cleaner up the pee-hole like the old days.

 

Unless you have typical findings of prostatitis on exam, I'd definitely check for STIs. And call child protective services when your daughter shows up.

[shotsup 832]

I know, but still it is poor taste with not just me but another member stressing about his wife's cancer... You could always say you have a diseased d1ck and it would be funny. The word cancer doesn't make it funny. Sorry.

 

I acgree. I am a little drunk and trying to reread thie post to see if he actually has cancver and was confused. Not funny and wont even hope he eventually really gets a canvcer - that would be mean. eh.

[shotsup 832]

 

A "diseased d1ck" isn't funny. How about you just stay out of my thread, mkay?

 

 

Now Iam starting to rethink my not to wish real cancewr on you because I am confuddled.

[penultimatestraw 473]

 

Thanks, I appreciate the input. I'd be surprised if they don't test for an STI -- they were able to detect the white blood cells in the office, but she said they were sending my urine out for analysis. According to the internet you can detect those two STIs you mentioned from a urine sample generally.

 

If it is an STI, that's going to make for some uncomfortable conversations in the jerryskids household.

 

Also, my 17 yr old daughter seems to have a UTI now (fever, burning sensation); she is going to go see the same NP tomorrow. Don't even go there. But seriously, is there some sort of weird airborne thing that can cause this? Why is everyone in my family getting a UTI? (I said don't go there).

To answer your question, UTIs and STIs aren't airborne. I can probably concoct a convoluted explanation for a household with painful urination attributable to something more contagious, but common things are generally common. And there is some data that members of the same household can transmit the same uropathogens, even if they aren't intimate: http://cid.oxfordjournals.org/content/43/10/e101.full

 

Also for your reading enjoyment, this is a decent, albeit technical (and old) review of UTI: http://www.aafp.org/afp/1999/0301/p1225.html

[OldMaid 1,838]

I'm starting to think the jerryskids family tree might be missing a few branches.

[titans&bucs&bearsohmy! 2,745]

It ain't just me; just about every doctor practices this way. The best is example is asking "are you pregnant?" to a woman of child-bearing age. There are many examples of unintentional harm being caused to the fetus because the patient provided the wrong answer. Tests like urine pregnancy and tox screens are quick and inexpensive, and the results can alter the treatment provided dramatically.

Same for lawyers.

First rule of practice? Get money up front or not at all.

 

Second? Assume your client is a lying scumbag. You will be right most of the time.

[jerryskids 5,206]

 

 

Now Iam starting to rethink my not to wish real cancewr on you because I am confuddled.

Well shots, I'm pretty sure that Curly knows why I posted that. If not and she wants to call me out on it she can do so, in which case I'll be happy to expand.

[shotsup 832]

Well shots, I'm pretty sure that Curly knows why I posted that. If not and she wants to call me out on it she can do so, in which case I'll be happy to expand.

OK. I am not in the know about what you allude to.

[Artista 460]

Well shots, I'm pretty sure that Curly knows why I posted that. If not and she wants to call me out on it she can do so, in which case I'll be happy to expand.

Really??? cuz I really don't- and really really don't care...

[TD Ryan2 314]

You need to stop sitting to pee Jerry - keep the boys in the air where they belong and you won't get bugs on the pipe.

 

Good luck with the operation! #CaitlynSkids

[jerryskids 5,206]

Really??? cuz I really don't- and really really don't care...

Great. If you have something to say which is relevant to my condition, please feel free to contribute.

[shotsup 832]

Great. If you have something to say which is relevant to my condition, please feel free to contribute.

Yeah well you over dramatiezd some BS infection as a cancer. You suck inline. And again I hope you (don't) die a horrible death

 

It's not a joke Jk. Even here. I joke about ..... Whatever Fvckoff and suck s d!ck.

[naomi 343]

D!ck cancer has Jerry

[gocolts 300]

OK. I am not in the know about what you allude to.

Same here. Let's hear it Jerry.......

[jerryskids 5,206]

Yeah well you over dramatiezd some BS infection as a cancer. You suck inline. And again I hope you (don't) die a horrible death

 

It's not a joke Jk. Even here. I joke about ..... Whatever Fvckoff and suck s d!ck.

I would think "d1ck cancer" implies a certain lack of seriousness. Plus the "sorta" tag for those using a computer. Anyway, glad you don't hope I die a horrible death.

[jets24 6]

I think you may have gotten it from NewGirl.

[SUXBNME 1,335]

I think you may have gotten it from NewGirl.

No. He doesn't have gingivitis, he's got a broke dik

[jerryskids 5,206]

Same here. Let's hear it Jerry.......

OK fine, although I would think you and shots know this. Back in 06 Curly set up an elaborate hoax with a fake accident and hospital stay to get attention from folks here. Strike organized a money collection and she let it happen; it was only when it was discovered did she disappear for years. I had extensive emails with her where in the end she proved to be a compulsive liar. Sux never seemed to care, perhaps because she has a bagina. She is very good at getting sympathy. Perhaps you and shots are in the same boat?

[SUXBNME 1,335]

OK fine, although I would think you and shots know this. Back in 06 Curly set up an elaborate hoax with a fake accident and hospital stay to get attention from folks here. Strike organized a money collection and she let it happen; it was only when it was discovered did she disappear for years. I had extensive emails with her where in the end she proved to be a compulsive liar. Sux never seemed to care, perhaps because she has a bagina. She is very good at getting sympathy. Perhaps you and shots are in the same boat?

For the record, CN didn't set up any kind of hoax.

Strike did take up a collection based on the info he had at the time...(which was the same info that those here that knew CN had...nothing.)

We all thought she was in a car accident, right? Wasn't it Probert that started the thread?

 

1: Why is Strike so lambasted for trying to help a fellow geek?

2: Every pennie that was donated was returned.

3: This place makes fun of everything known to man. As we should. We are a bunch of shallow knuckledraggers here, and for one, I'm glad it's that way.

 

When I read the title of this thread, it didn't offend me at all. It's just business as usual here.

I don't think JK meant it to be malicious at all, Artista. That's just the way our verbage has always been. Puddle of aids, punching Mother Teresa in the gunt, etc..etc..

This is a non PC place.

 

What you are doing to help Mighty Thor and his wife is amazing, though.

[Magnificent Bastard 190]

What a bunch of assh0les

[SUXBNME 1,335]

What a bunch of assh0les

Please be more specific

[jerryskids 5,206]

For the record, CN didn't set up any kind of hoax.

Strike did take up a collection based on the info he had at the time...(which was the same info that those here that knew CN had...nothing.)

We all thought she was in a car accident, right? Wasn't it Probert that started the thread?

 

1: Why is Strike so lambasted for trying to help a fellow geek?

2: Every pennie that was donated was returned.

3: This place makes fun of everything known to man. As we should. We are a bunch of shallow knuckledraggers here, and for one, I'm glad it's that way.

 

When I read the title of this thread, it didn't offend me at all. It's just business as usual here.

I don't think JK meant it to be malicious at all, Artista. That's just the way our verbage has always been. Puddle of aids, punching Mother Teresa in the gunt, etc..etc..

This is a non PC place.

 

What you are doing to help Mighty Thor and his wife is amazing, though.

She absolutely set up a hoax. This is not a matter of debate.

This is no indictment on Strike; he was trying to help.

Please don't ever apologize for me to her again.

 

Let's get back to happier thoughts like my d1ck cancer.

[IGotWorms 3,315]

Yeah well you over dramatiezd some BS infection as a cancer. You suck inline. And again I hope you (don't) die a horrible death

 

It's not a joke Jk. Even here. I joke about ..... Whatever Fvckoff and suck s d!ck.

 

Calm the fock down. This is bullsh1t with people getting all bent out of shape over a joke. Get the fock out of here you dipsh1t drama queens. You can't take a joke then go the fock somewhere else - this isn't the place for you.

 

HTH

[mobb_deep 917]

You must have a super short urethra.

[penultimatestraw 473]

Same for lawyers.

First rule of practice? Get money up front or not at all.

 

Second? Assume your client is a lying scumbag. You will be right most of the time.

Funny, it is unethical for doctors to demand $ up front.

[shotsup 832]

OK fine, although I would think you and shots know this. Back in 06

OK I am aware of this as I'm sure PoColts is just didn't know your bagina had a memory like an elephant. Thought there was some recently.

Maybe I had too much to drink ( ) and was a little sensitive to the comments (personal issue recently related) but still grow the Fock up an get over yourself you toolbag.

 

[shotsup 832]

 

Calm the fock down.

Eat a d1ck Wormy. Sincerely.

[IGotWorms 3,315]

Eat a d1ck Wormy. Sincerely.

The only thing you're sincere about is your drinking

[SUXBNME 1,335]

She absolutely set up a hoax. This is not a matter of debate.

 

You must know something I don't, then.

[Strike 3,979]

She absolutely set up a hoax. This is not a matter of debate.

 

 

This crap again. Jerry, I have to say I'm surprised at you. You have no proof of this and it didn't happen. I usually expect you to base your posts on facts, unlike most of the other yahoos here. But in this case you're absolutely wrong. I still hope you recover though.

[jerryskids 5,206]

You must know something I don't, then.

Apparently, although I swear we discussed this over PM in the past. Feel free to PM me if you want to discuss again.

 

I'd like to get the thread back to nicer topics like d1ck cancer.

[SUXBNME 1,335]

Apparently, although I swear we discussed this over PM in the past. Feel free to PM me if you want to discuss again.

 

I'd like to get the thread back to nicer topics like d1ck cancer.

Naa. Not worth it.

 

May your dik be disease free sometime in the forseeable future.

[mmmmm...beer 691]

I've been here since '01, in fact me an Jerry joined the same day, an I don't remember nothing about that.

 

Probably just means I didn't give nobody no damned car accident monies?

 

Or I don't live in this focker like a few handfuls of yoots.

[tanatastic 2,061]

Running fake charity scams, wow. I have my own problems and know all charity is just a scam anyway, wouldnt give a dime. Charitys are just businesses like any other. 99% in the pocket and maybe a tee shirt to an african kid.

[SUXBNME 1,335]

I have my own problems

 

Pretty obvious.