dain11279 928 Posted August 8, 2017 The Bungles!! http://deadspin.com/why-your-team-sucks-2017-cincinnati-bengals-1797628436 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
supermike80 1,287 Posted August 9, 2017 But if youre a Bengals fan still pining for the teams signature touch of consistent nincompoopery, rest assured that Pacman Jones DID tell a cop to suck his d1ck this offseason. The stability warms my heart Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Djgb13 2,338 Posted August 9, 2017 But if youre a Bengals fan still pining for the teams signature touch of consistent nincompoopery, rest assured that Pacman Jones DID tell a cop to suck his d1ck this offseason. The stability warms my heart This article had laughing so much I ended up calling a patient Joe Mixon earlier lol Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
dain11279 928 Posted August 9, 2017 Bahahahaha my Bills are today's target, I died reading this http://deadspin.com/why-your-team-sucks-2017-buffalo-bills-1797677209 "Now that Rex has been pushed out, they can go back to their standard process of hiring faceless coordinator after faceless coordinator and churning out nondescript seven-win seasons while being terminally unable to find a superstar quarterback. Those four AFC titles and Super Bowl appearances? Theyre gone. Vanished. Theyve been buried under the permafrost. Itll take another interglacial cycle to uncover them. As long as I live, these poor bastards and their inbred fans will serve as fresh kibble for New England. Meanwhile, Tom Brady will shoot himself up with beet juice and play until hes 106. You people are ruined." Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
listen2me 23 1,545 Posted August 9, 2017 Our fans jump through tables in the same parking lot where they were conceived. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
listen2me 23 1,545 Posted August 9, 2017 The last time I went to a Bills game, a girl started herself on fire. My friends and I were enjoying a tailgate with a nice-sized fire, when a bunch of very drunk teenagers stumble through. One of the girls stops to take a selfie with one of the guys (damn kids), and walks directly into our fire pit. Several of us shout, “Hey! Look out, you’re in the fire!” No response. More shouting. Again, no response. I walk up to the girl and yell directly in her face, “YOU ARE STANDING IN THE FIRE RIGHT NOW.” She smiles and slurs, “That’s OK, he’s my cousin.” I still can’t figure out what she thought I said. This Bills edition is probably the most spot on and least exaggerated yet. Bills tailgate is indeed the twilight zone. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
dain11279 928 Posted August 9, 2017 This Bills edition is probably the most spot on and least exaggerated yet. Bills tailgate is indeed the twilight zone. This is the truth, I've seen some wild sh1t at Bills tailgates Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
listen2me 23 1,545 Posted August 9, 2017 The comments sections for every one of these articles (except for maybe the Browns’) are a nauseating display of football privilege. “Our coach is an idiot!” “We always lose the game right at the end!” “Our quarterback is inconsistent!” If you’ve seen your team play a playoff game on a high definition television, kindly shut the up. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
dain11279 928 Posted August 10, 2017 For Bunny, the Saints are up today: http://deadspin.com/why-your-team-sucks-2017-new-orleans-saints-1797711545 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Big Guy 1,400 Posted August 10, 2017 For Bunny, the Saints are up today: GUMBO GUMBO GUMBO GUMBO GUMBO GUMBO LOOKS LIKE A GOOD DAY FOR SQUIRREL HUNTIN’ GUMBO GUMBO GUMBO Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
BunnysBastatrds 1,921 Posted August 10, 2017 For Bunny, the Saints are up today: http://deadspin.com/why-your-team-sucks-2017-new-orleans-saints-1797711545 Damn that guy is good. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Big Blue 06 195 Posted August 10, 2017 These articles are outstanding! The Iggles are next up and I can't wait. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
MDC 5,895 Posted August 10, 2017 These articles are outstanding! The Iggles are next up and I can't wait. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
jerryskids 5,210 Posted August 10, 2017 Bahahahaha my Bills are today's target, I died reading this http://deadspin.com/why-your-team-sucks-2017-buffalo-bills-1797677209 "Now that Rex has been pushed out, they can go back to their standard process of hiring faceless coordinator after faceless coordinator and churning out nondescript seven-win seasons while being terminally unable to find a superstar quarterback. Those four AFC titles and Super Bowl appearances? Theyre gone. Vanished. Theyve been buried under the permafrost. Itll take another interglacial cycle to uncover them. As long as I live, these poor bastards and their inbred fans will serve as fresh kibble for New England. Meanwhile, Tom Brady will shoot himself up with beet juice and play until hes 106. You people are ruined." So many good comments it is hard to pick one. I present this for the enjoyment of the bored: Jacob: You would think a week 2 loss to the Jets at the hands of Ryan Fitzpatrick and his 374 passing yards would be the most disappointing part of my day - but no, that was expected. That honour was bestowed upon Kenny from Tonawanda, who walked into a lower concourse restroom in the 3rd quarter with a tray of food containing three burgers, a sausage and fries (100% for himself) and proceeded to place it not on top of the urinal - which would have been fairly disgusting but at least respectable - but underneath (?!?!) the urinals, which 20 overweight Western New Yorkers were pissing into. I watched in horror as the collective sprays from a group of fat, sweaty drunks in Zubaz pants soaked Kenny’s sausage bun moments before he drove that into his mouth. People in Buffalo can’t even eat and piss properly. All hope is lost for this urine soaked sausage of a franchise. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
listen2me 23 1,545 Posted August 11, 2017 Was at that game. Dont remember much. This is part of the reasob why buffalo doesnt get primetime games. People show up 3 days before or 7am on sundays. A thursday nighter that doesnt change. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
BunnysBastatrds 1,921 Posted August 11, 2017 This guy is spot on. Everything he's written is fact. How he knows is scary. Looking forward to his comments on the top five. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
dain11279 928 Posted August 11, 2017 The Iggles!!! http://deadspin.com/why-your-team-sucks-2017-philadelphia-eagles-1797746673 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
patweisers44 697 Posted August 11, 2017 Cant believe they haven't gotten to the Lions yet.... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Big Blue 06 195 Posted August 12, 2017 Cant believe they haven't gotten to the Lions yet.... To be fair, that will likely be a huge article. He needs time to get together all the reasons that the Lions suck. 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
rholio 339 Posted August 12, 2017 Cant believe they haven't gotten to the Lions yet.... They're going off last seasons records. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
dain11279 928 Posted August 14, 2017 Here ya go Jerry, your Cardinals suck http://deadspin.com/why-your-team-sucks-2017-arizona-cardinals-1797815626 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Cdub100 3,384 Posted August 14, 2017 Cant believe they haven't gotten to the Lions yet.... What to say about the lions... They are cursed with bad management. /Article Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
edjr 5,568 Posted August 14, 2017 Dain didn't draft them Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
dain11279 928 Posted August 15, 2017 The author's favorite team, the Vikings, always a fun read http://deadspin.com/why-your-team-sucks-2017-minnesota-vikings-1797851777 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
dain11279 928 Posted August 16, 2017 The Colts are up today http://deadspin.com/why-your-team-sucks-2017-indianapolis-colts-1797889404 "Do the Colts stock their training table with lymphoma? Every year the storyline is Can the Colts protect Andrew Luck? and the answer is always no. This man will be retired and studying Louis Kahn coffee table books by 2019." Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
dain11279 928 Posted August 17, 2017 The Ravens!! http://deadspin.com/why-your-team-sucks-2017-baltimore-ravens-1797932196 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
dain11279 928 Posted August 18, 2017 The Redskins are up today and it's a FANTASTIC read. Magary hates them, I was in tears http://deadspin.com/why-your-team-sucks-2017-washington-redskins-1797971084 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
jerryskids 5,210 Posted August 19, 2017 Here ya go Jerry, your Cardinals suck http://deadspin.com/why-your-team-sucks-2017-arizona-cardinals-1797815626 Didn't enjoy the comments as much, although the one about focking up the "Rise Up Red Sea" chant is something only an astute fan would notice at a game. No thank you. What has Arizona ever given America? Tent prisons? Double-headed scorpions? Late-stage melanoma? Janet Leigh dead in a hotel shower? Senators who only pretend to be rebellious? Forty BILLION guns? Copper mines (Copper: The Fourth Place Metal)? Cacti? He says this like this is a bad thing. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
dain11279 928 Posted August 21, 2017 TITANS http://deadspin.com/why-your-team-sucks-2017-tennessee-titans-1798148950 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
supermike80 1,287 Posted August 22, 2017 Still shocked no lions yet Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
dain11279 928 Posted August 22, 2017 The TB Bucs!! http://deadspin.com/why-your-team-sucks-2017-tampa-bay-bucs-1798303002 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
titans&bucs&bearsohmy! 2,745 Posted August 23, 2017 TITANS http://deadspin.com/why-your-team-sucks-2017-tennessee-titans-1798148950 Pretty accurate. Still shocked no lions yet I know right? Its almost like they did it in order of record from last season... 1. Cleveland Browns 2. San Francisco 49ers 3. Chicago Bears 4. Jacksonville Jaguars 5. Tennessee Titans from Los Angeles Rams 6. New York Jets 7. Los Angeles Chargers 8. Carolina Panthers 9. Cincinnati Bengals 10. Buffalo Bills 11. New Orleans Saints 12. Cleveland Browns from Philadelphia Eagles 13. Arizona Cardinals 14. Philadelphia Eagles from Minnesota Vikings 15. Indianapolis Colts 16. Baltimore Ravens 17. Washington Redskins 18. Tennessee Titans 19. Tampa Bay Buccaneers 20. Denver Broncos 21. Detroit Lions 22. Miami Dolphins 23. New York Giants 24. Oakland Raiders 25. Houston Texans 26. Seattle Seahawks 27. Kansas City Chiefs 28. Dallas Cowboys 29. Green Bay Packers 30. Pittsburgh Steelers 31. Atlanta Falcons 32. New Orleans Saints from New England Patriots I'm gonna go out on a limb and say Broncos are next and then the lions... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
dain11279 928 Posted August 23, 2017 The Broncos suck http://deadspin.com/why-your-team-sucks-2017-denver-broncos-1798341694 Also, if you ride from DIA to downtown, there is NOTHING along the way. Its as if downtown Denver was erected three days ago. Its bizarre. You got all this empty space between the city and the airport. Why didnt you build the airport next to the city instead of 87 miles away? This is so true, I went to Denver a few years ago and it's like 30 miles of absolutely nothing between the airport and downtown. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
wiffleball 4,647 Posted August 24, 2017 The Broncos suck http://deadspin.com/why-your-team-sucks-2017-denver-broncos-1798341694 This is so true, I went to Denver a few years ago and it's like 30 miles of absolutely nothing between the airport and downtown. In fairness, they moved the airport to out there. Like every other idiot population, the original airport was in the middle of BFE - and morons built right up to the edge of it. - Then BITCHED like they were there first. So, they moved it. - And the inevitable building is occurring. But this time, they bought a crapload of land. Still, give it ten years and HOAs will be filing EPA and other complaints. But yeah, no shiit - it takes 45 minutes just to get OFF the airport grounds. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
dain11279 928 Posted August 24, 2017 Haven't read it yet but it should be a good one today cuz it's the LIONS http://deadspin.com/why-your-team-sucks-2017-detroit-lions-1798382848 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
supermike80 1,287 Posted August 24, 2017 Haven't read it yet but it should be a good one today cuz it's the LIONS http://deadspin.com/why-your-team-sucks-2017-detroit-lions-1798382848 Well damn the very first picture says it all LOL Stafford 5-46 against winning teams? Is that stat right? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
rholio 339 Posted August 24, 2017 Proud Lions fan here... ur, Lions fan h... well, um... yeah, I got nothing. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
dain11279 928 Posted August 25, 2017 The Fins!! http://deadspin.com/why-your-team-sucks-2017-miami-dolphins-1798422357 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Cdub100 3,384 Posted August 26, 2017 Proud Lions fan here... ur, Lions fan h... well, um... yeah, I got nothing. It's funny when I travel for work and people start talking football. They ask me who's my team and I say the Lions and they get this weird look on their face like, why? The lions are so bad nobody even thinks about them. The only time the rest of the nation thinks about the Lions is on Thanksgiving day when they thank the lord above that their team isn't the Lions. The cloest team is Cleveland but even they have had WAY more success than the Lions over the last 50 years. When another teams fan see Detroit on the schedule 98% will mark that as a W for their team. At least when the browns are bad they are bad enough to get a good draft pick. Most of the time the lions can't even suck bad enough to get a top pick well other than... 0-16 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
